Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Ride The Gravitron posted:

adult trick or treating. You go door to door and they give you drugs and booze

trick or treat/ smell my feet/ give me some tabs to eat

# ? Oct 31, 2017 23:11

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# ? May 10, 2024 18:25

Manifisto

Ride The Gravitron posted:

adult trick or treating. You go door to door and they give you drugs and booze

adult trick or treating: they withhold a portion of your candy bar or whatever for payroll taxes

# ? Oct 31, 2017 23:12

Manifisto

adult trick or treating: leave extra time at each house for reading and signing the waivers

# ? Oct 31, 2017 23:14

Manifisto

adult trick or treating: while you might be inclined to approach the houses with the most/best candy, you could be accused of trick or treating out of your league

# ? Oct 31, 2017 23:17

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

adult trick or treating: you don't get title to the candy, you only get a limited license to use it.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 23:19

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

adult trick or treating: you jog between each house to burn extra calories to break even

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# ? Oct 31, 2017 23:45

Manifisto

adult trick or treating: you're ready to go home, but you are forced to stay out late even though you will earn no additional candy for doing so

# ? Nov 1, 2017 00:00

Manifisto

adult trick or treating: your trick-or-treating job has been replaced by young interns willing to trick or treat for raisins

# ? Nov 1, 2017 00:05

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

"adult" trick or treating: :pervert:

# ? Nov 1, 2017 00:09

Twenty Four

Manifisto posted:

adult trick or treating: they withhold a portion of your candy bar or whatever for payroll taxes

lol

# ? Nov 1, 2017 14:15

alnilam

Ride The Gravitron posted:

adult trick or treating. You go door to door and they give you drugs and booze

i literally do sometimes offer a beer to adults walking with their kids, following in the tradition of my dad

# ? Nov 1, 2017 14:19

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

accidentally locked inside the Disney Vault

# ? Nov 1, 2017 17:57

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

Putty posted:

accidentally locked inside the Disney Vault

*one employee to a new one*
They say long ago an intern just like you got locked inside the vault... and he never came out. Not even after the rererelease of Beauty and the Beast! But they also say that on cold, quiet nights, if you put your ear up to the vault door you can hear someone whisper:

"No one's slick as Gaston!
No one's quick as Gaston!
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's!"

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? Nov 1, 2017 18:05

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

They only take a few movies out of the vault at a time because the vault demands an equal value deposit in souls

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# ? Nov 1, 2017 18:38

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

My sex theme song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9FImc2LOr8

# ? Nov 3, 2017 19:51

vanisher

Walked into my neighbors house and his thanksgiving decorations seem to feature turkeys and pilgrims prominently. I'm handed a plate of food, but is it turkey or pilgrim flesh?

vanisher fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Nov 3, 2017

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:09

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

*Open the oven to baste a small Pilgrim child with an apple shoved into it's mouth.* "Stuffed him myself"

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:11

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Ugh my mother is currently arguing with my vegan sister because she brought a soy-grim

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:14

vanisher

If you buy a frozen pilgrim make sure you let it thaw out properly for a day or so.

*guy in a pilgrim hat bundled in a blanket drinking cocoa looks nervously at a hungry family watching him*

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:23

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

I tried to deep fry a Quaker once, but I just set my back deck on fire.

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:24

Manifisto

the family next door was always generous with their leftover sandwiches in the days after thanksgiving

but in retrospect they laughed a little too hard every time someone called them "mayflowers"

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:28

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

They're called S'Mores because they leave you wanting some St. Thomas More.

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:37

vanisher

Our family doesn't have a lot of time, so we pick up a Honey Baked 'Gram

# ? Nov 3, 2017 21:48

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

President Trump pardoning the white house Pilgrim

"They come in their mayflowers. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. this is one of the good ones."

# ? Nov 3, 2017 23:21

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

applying for mall santa job & lying on the resume

e: santa claus applying for mall santa job & lying on the resume

# ? Nov 4, 2017 17:05

gleebster: Only a howler

Lucrezia Cyborgia.

# ? Nov 4, 2017 18:18

Robot Made of Meat

gleebster posted:

Lucrezia Cyborgia.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Nov 4, 2017 18:54

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

dramatic readings of monster energy drink cans

# ? Nov 5, 2017 05:45

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Jedrick posted:

dramatic readings of monster energy drink cans

# ? Nov 5, 2017 05:54

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

gleebster posted:

Lucrezia Cyborgia.

You didn't post this to the roller derby thread??

# ? Nov 5, 2017 05:56

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Street farter II

Ha-dookie!

# ? Nov 5, 2017 06:21

BRB pooping

Necessary Weevil
Just a beetle that is really good to have around, a cool little buddy

# ? Nov 5, 2017 12:46

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

From my dreams to you:

Crou de Ton- when your salad becomes innundated with so many extra toppings it looks like a revolution happened

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Nov 5, 2017 14:57

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

BRB pooping posted:

Necessary Weevil
Just a beetle that is really good to have around, a cool little buddy

And its cousin: https://youtu.be/440l8poSQiA

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# ? Nov 5, 2017 16:06

little munchkin

a list of things that are going to make this year the chillest thanksgiving ever

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# ? Nov 5, 2017 16:41

little munchkin

pennywise the clown from IT only he assumes the form of whatever makes you the most horny

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# ? Nov 5, 2017 16:42

Manifisto

little munchkin posted:

a list of things that are going to make this year the chillest thanksgiving ever

amazon/whole foods going to deliver each course of the thanksgiving meal by drone at exactly the right time

tiny drones will deliver each bite of the meal from the plate to our waiting mouths

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Nov 5, 2017 17:32

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

little munchkin posted:

pennywise the clown from IT only he assumes the form of whatever makes you the most horny

Guess I'm dead

# ? Nov 5, 2017 18:59

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

BRB pooping posted:

Necessary Weevil
Just a beetle that is really good to have around, a cool little buddy

The Holy Cow a deeply pious bovine here to keep you on the straight and narrow.

# ? Nov 5, 2017 19:39

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# ? May 10, 2024 18:25

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

little munchkin posted:

pennywise the clown from IT only he assumes the form of whatever makes you the most horny

so still just pennywise the clown then.

# ? Nov 5, 2017 21:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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