BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:

Why put 20% down if you can get identical <3% interest rates for 10% down?

Motronic posted:

Couples using the proportional income method, how is inheritance handled?


WTF is even happening here?

quote:

u/kangaloon
My Wife's brother is asking us to go in with other family members to buy her parents spare cottage on their property to give the parents some liquidity.

The bank loan will be in her and her siblings names (not the respective partners). As I am the main breadwinner I would have to service the joint loan for her.

I do not want to be told how to invest my money esp. when I have little spare after my own costs. We already have our own hefty mortgage and have 3 young children (15, 13, 11). I currently pay 85% of all our costs and she the remainder.

I am the only one out of ten siblings and respective partners who is baulking at this. They feel that there is money to be made by renting out the house on 'Air bnb'. My wife is furious with me that I never join in on her families joint ventures. There was once a race horse that they all purchased (except for me) - another story!

My Wife in her anger said to me that she needs to be involved in this as it is part of her inheritance. I pointed out that it didn't seem fair that I pay the loan and her name is on the investment. Come to think of it, our house is in her name and I pay the loan (security reasons), I pay for her car and it is in her name etc.

My wife really has no money sense and wants for nothing as I give her want she wants. But this seems to be a big ask. Family gatherings will be awkward if I am the only one not involved. My wife's brother, the instigator and eldest sibling (47 M), is seen as a bit of a 'hero' by her family so what he says goes! Kinda guy that orders the wine on behalf of others at a restaurant and you don't get a say!

Greatly appreciate some advice. I feel my choice is to say 'ok, Let's do this' or 'I am outer here, let's see how you handle things without me' - How do I handle this?

tl;dr: Wife's brother wants us to go in on an investment with her family. Investment will be in her name but as the bread winner I service the loan. She is in, I am not. Big problem.

Haifisch posted:

Impending BWM from special guest /r/relationships:

Me [47 M] with my wife [45 F] 16 years married, her family asking us to go in on a joint investment. She wants to and I don't.

Jordan7hm posted:

I almost quoted a John Smith post. Sorry folks, glad I caught my mistake in time.

Here’s some actual BWM: brother bought a house with wife in spring. Spent 15k on new appliances. Spent however much on moving costs. Bought all kinds of new stuff for house.

Divorced 3 months later.

Sold house at a loss (paying 5% for the privilege), sold new appliances at a (huge) loss, had to get rid of stuff they didn’t have room for in their separate new accommodations. Luckily for him I guess most of the money was a gift from my mom. Because they bought a house.

Like, divorces happen, but what the gently caress. This was a “I’m not happy”, rather than a “you cheated on me” divorce. They knew it was coming. Don’t buy a house to fix your marital problems. I figure at least they didn’t have a kid.

Panfilo posted:

A lot of what it takes to be a homeowner here tends to involve taking a lot more risk than in other areas, presumably BWM stuff like having to deal with PMI or piggyback loans to offset it, but the problem is if you like living here rent isn't any better in terms of steadily going up. Pay is higher, but not relative to living expenses. But there are other hidden benefits.

My brother (the one that almost got a really sweet deal on a house) lives in a much cheaper part of California than I do. The flip side is that nobody willing to actually help out with child care lives near him, and what he pays for daycare for one of his kids he could be putting her up in a pretty nice 1BRM apartment out there . So while their own rent is cheaper, the fact that they live so far from the rest of their extended family kind of nullifies the benefits.

Conversely, my wife's family lives in the Bay Area but many of them are immigrants that came here within the last 10-20 years. Most of them work blue collar jobs, not tech jobs but because they chose to stick close together they were able to benefit from mutual support much like many other ethnic enclaves did in San Francisco, New York, etc. If one family member has a financial crisis, there are many other relatives nearby able to help absorb some of the cost in terms of either loans, time, or simply a place to crash until they get back on their feet.

Haifisch posted:

It's baffling what people think will fix a marriage.

Talking & counseling are too hard, let's just throw some new joint responsibilities on the pile and hope that magically makes it work out.

BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:

Why put 20% down if you can get identical <3% interest rates for 10% down?

n8r posted:

It's a good way to not get sucked into spending more on the house than you can actually afford.

Nobody says you can't invest the money you are saving for a down payment. Hell if you really want to own real estate while you save, buy REITs (terrible idea).

Renting also gives you a massive amount of flexibility. If you don't want to have some horrible commute for a new job, you move with much less cost to relocation. So many good reasons to not own a house...

Jordan7hm posted:

Guys next to me talking about speculating on stocks and crypto currencies.

“Bitcoin is based on nothing. It’s air”

“Yeah but so is money”

I’m sold.

lostleaf posted:

Show him this article

https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2017/11/with-deletion-of-one-wallet-280-m-in-ethereum-wallets-gets-frozen/

H110Hawk posted:

I'm probably going to need to call a doctor in about 3 hours.

quote:

Multi-signature wallets have cryptographic security measures that require multiple users to sign a transaction in order for it to be processed and approved—an approach that allows for escrow contracts to control payments from accounts belonging to a group.

totalnewbie posted:

You know, things like this:


are really interesting and cool. I think the idea that cryptocurrencies could be mainstream and central to the economy (or at least parts of it) in the future (whether it's 5 years or 50) isn't very farfetched. Being digital, you have a lot of flexibility in the things you can do, like the above, that could prevent a lot of potential problems, like a joint husband/wife bank account, as a very basic example.

But for now, you know, stupid things like this happen and it's pretty clear the technology (or experience at implementation) just isn't good enough.

Hoodwinker posted:

"Imagine 5 blocks on the edge of a chain. Zycoin works the same way."

crazysim posted:

I suppose a cheap way to get content for this thread might be to continually filter or search /r/relationships for horse.

quote:

So my parents like horse racing. They have done pretty well for themselves financially and my dad in particular has thrown himself deep into breeding and racing them. It's more than a hobby it is turning into an outright obsession.

As they have got older I have had to take over more responsibility for their day to day lives to allow them to be as independent as possible. This includes doing their accounts and taxes so I know exactly how much money is going out and to whom. Most of it is going on an ever increasing collection of racehorses. Some months it is more than an average person would make in a year. I think it is an absurd waste of money but it is theirs to do what they want with so I just pay the bills and move money around to cover it all.

Dad is 83 and not in the best of health. 2 days ago he wanted something printed and it was a pregnancy confirmation cert for yet another bloody horse. They have 3 at their farm. 3 leased out 3 in foal and 4 in training. To me this is a stupid number of horses for just a hobby. I have asked him to write down a succession plan of exactly what to do with them if anything happens to him and he just ignores me. I know nothing about horses. I can ride them but this is not an industry I want to have anything to do with. Over the years I have grown to hate it and I am deeply mistrustful of the motivations of the people in it. I hate gambling and no one can give me a straight answer to what happens to the horses that don't 'make it.' Not that I need it. I know already. I love animals but I am seriously starting to hate these horses.

Compounding this I am now the go to person for all of their 'stuff'. I have a responsibility to my brother, lawyers, accountants, tenants, IRD etc to ensure the money is used responsibly and they are well cared for. I can't dictate what they use their money on and nor would I but it like watching a drug addict and you are the one who has to buy the drugs to let them gently caress up their lives.

When something does happen to him I am the one left holding the baby. I will have to sell all of them and I know I am going to get totally ripped off. These are valuable animals and if I gently caress it up then I am going to have poo poo raining down on me from all sides. The taxes alone with be ruinous. I trust absolutely no one in the industry to give me advice on this because I know they will be working in their own self interest and who could blame them. It is like a pit of vipers. I get on well with their trainer and he is a top bloke but he couldn't offer anywhere near the support I would need as he is so busy doing his actual job. I have asked Dad to scale it back to a manageable level but he doesn't want to miss out on the next big thing. He also seems to think I am going to carry this on for him even though he knows I think it is absurd and find it hugely stressful. One of the horses at their farm is literally psychotic. I know TB's are highly strung but this one is another level of mental. She is Christian Bale with 4 legs and a ginger coat instead of a plastic one.

I've tried rational plans to scale it back. No. I've tried asking for a succession plan and it gets met with huge resistance because he wants to continue on his jolly lark. It's like he has this fantasy of being the next Bart Cummings. My only options now are to talk to their lawyer and accountant and they would see that as a huge breach of trust. I have an EPO (health and financial) but I am so deep in it I don't know if I am the ones taking crazy pills or if they actually have onset dementia.

TL/DR Elderly parents (mainly Dad) have a stupidly expensive 'hobby' in an industry I loathe and refuse to scale it back.

Jordan7hm posted:

I almost quoted a John Smith post. Sorry folks, glad I caught my mistake in time.

VitalSigns posted:

Ethereum is utterly baffling to me on a fundamental level, it is an unsolvable riddle of the cosmos that it was even made.

Anyone with enough programming knowledge to actually implement it would also have enough programming knowledge to understand that while machines may be logically perfect your code will never be and thus why it's a terrible idea to design a system around code that is not allowed to be changed. Ethereum cannot exist, its conditions of creation contain the seeds of its own destruction, the knowledge necessary for one to make it demonstrates why one shouldn't. Its existence is impossible and yet, here it is.

VitalSigns posted:

Ethereum is utterly baffling to me on a fundamental level, it is an unsolvable riddle of the cosmos that it was even made.

Anyone with enough programming knowledge to actually implement it would also have enough programming knowledge to understand that while machines may be logically perfect your code will never be and thus why it's a terrible idea to design a system around code that is not allowed to be changed. Ethereum cannot exist, its conditions of creation contain the seeds of its own destruction, the knowledge necessary for one to make it demonstrates why one shouldn't. Its existence is impossible and yet, here it is.

H110Hawk posted:

Hubris is a powerful motivator. Also the potential for huge upside in swindling early to medium adopters.

quote:

I have had to take over more responsibility for their day to day lives to allow them to be as independent as possible.

Hoodwinker posted:

Ponzi scheme, the phrase you're looking for is Ponzi scheme.

Cocoa Crispies posted:

Words have meanings and Ethereum isn't a Ponzi scheme, just a fantastic tool and vehicle for running them.

quote:

28 and moving out next month. Moving into a quaint little 2 bed with parking, for the bargain price of £1,095pcm.
I could save about £400 a month if I didn't get one with parking, but I need the car for my job role.
I could save maybe £300 if I went for on-street parking requiring a permit from the council, but I've known some people to move into such places, only to find the apartment building they're in has used up their quota for parking permits, so they can't actually get one.
Over the last 3-4 months of hunting, I've found a couple of one bed flats with everything I need, but they seem to get snapped up before I can even arrange a viewing. And they're rarely more than £250 cheaper than this two bed.
And I've also found houses on the other side of the city for as much or less than the flat I'm moving into, with private parking, gardens, and all that jazz. But that would add up to 30 minutes to my commute every day, plus I'll be paying to heat the whole bloody thing.
So £1,100 for a 2 bed with parking it is.
Oh. Did I mention I had to pay £250 to reserve the flat while the agency processes the paperwork? And a further £450 for agency fees?
Oh. And because my income is not FIVE TIMES the rent, and because I'm not on named my current tenancy agreement (because I live with family) so the agency cannot get a landlord's reference, I've got to pay TWELVE MONTHS RENT IN ADVANCE. I'm expecting an invoice for £13,200 to land in my email in the next 48 hours. Some agencies have said they'll require six months rent in advance for this, so it wasn't like I wasn't expecting to have to pay a large sum in advance. But still ... it came as a shock :'(
Oh. And then there's the deposit of a further £1,100.
Why, oh why, oh why would choose to leave an arrangement that costs me £400pcm in rent, £50pcm in council tax, and the odd contribution towards the food bills, instead choosing to pay £15,000 in the space of a week to move into my own, personal, rented accommodation? My own, personal, rented accommodation, for which I will be responsible for paying all the bills, all the council tax (£975pa), for all my food?
What in my right mind would compel me to make such a decision?
FML.
Did I mention this new place has fiber?

Budgie posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ukpolitics/comments/7bkgfm/a_third_of_all_men_aged_2034_are_still_living/dpis7y4/


Gotta get that fiber internet guys.

Haifisch posted:

At least everyone in the comments is telling him this is a terrible idea.

...and I regret going to read comments in the wider thread, because reddit naturally turned it into a discussion of and whether or not it's really that weird to live with your parents in your late 20s.

quote:

Precisely. Many people completely ignore the fact that marrying an established older man is actually a legitimate life option for many women. Men simply don't have that option - it's work, provide (for yourself, or for your spouse), or go gently caress yourself. Women don't have that same pressure (which is part of the reason why male suicide rates are so high). They can always hit the eject button and choose the easy way out (i.e. living off a man's income), while men are left to fend for themselves and abandoned if they fail to perform.

quote:

Q. College: My husband is 20 years older than me and we have a 6-year-old daughter together. My stepchildren are all married and had children at very young ages—the grandchildren are older than my daughter. My relationship with my stepchildren has mostly been civil and respectable as I came into their lives when they were adults. At a recent family gathering, the topic of the cost of college came up and my stepdaughter (mother of five) blithely said she didn’t have to worry because “Daddy would take care of it.” My husband paid for all his children’s college and a few of their graduate schools but doesn’t make nearly as much as he used to. He will be looking at retirement in a few years and most of our income is going to come from me. I am not worried about providing for our daughter—but one girl is not the same as 10 grandchildren.

There are saving bonds for the grandchildren and that is it, at least on our end. I told my stepdaughter that. Things got ugly—she accused me of stealing and hiding the money. When my husband told her, no, he never had plans to pay for college and never told her he would, everything exploded. Many awful things were said and half were directed at me.

It came out that my stepdaughter and one of her brothers never saved a penny for their children’s education and are now panicking. They have said they aren’t coming over for the holidays because of it and posted an ugly accusation on Facebook.

I am terrified they are going to poison the grandchildren against us. My husband is upset, hurt, and disappointed—he is only speaking with two of his children now. The holidays are ruined. Part of me wonders if this is my fault and if it could have been avoided. I told the truth to my stepchildren and it has blown up. Should I do anything? Is there anything I could have done?

NUKES CURE NORKS posted: