Facebook Aunt posted:

Why get a space pen when you get get a self defence pen? It's like a normal pen, but one end is a bit pointier than normal, so you can jab someone real good with it (just like you can with a normal pen).
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/CQB...2703231390.html






I'm sure the police have never heard of these things and will totally buy your cries that "but it's just a pen!" and not bust you for possession of burglary tools or assault with a weapon.

Mistle posted:

I think it isn't about the price, but the price parity. I'm sure you can buy all kinds of stuff in Poland for $23 US, but that much could probably buy enough pens to last a department a whole year.

Wasabi the J posted:

That's such a stupid meme to put that much production int--

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvrZJ5C_Nwg

revolther posted:

It's also probably about the fact that they were trying to solve like 4 stupid problems under the label of new pens.
If you need cops to have glass shatterers in cars, put glass shatterers in the cars.
Same with flashlights and knives, buy them and make them part of the required utilities on their belt.

Don't buy them a loving 23 dollar wonder pen they will lose within a week and have to either replace, replace personally, or operate without for fear of looking stupid.

PopeCrunch posted:

Is it time to repost this old accident report yet? It's a favorite. https://www.osha.gov/pls/imis/accidentsearch.accident_detail?id=201071131

quote:

Accident: 201088911 - Employee Is Injured In Fall From Ladder

Accident: 201088911 -- Report ID: 0950625 -- Event Date: 01/13/2007
Inspection Open Date SIC Establishment Name
306365990 04/11/2007 2022 Saputo Cheese Usa Inc

On January 13, 2007, Employee #1 was standing on a stainless steel ladder in the dry cooker room. He was getting a cheese sample from a hopper. He slipped and fell approximately six ft, landing in a straddling position on a handrail. He was hospitalized for a ruptured urethra tube and compressed discs in his back.

Keywords: penis, ladder, slip, food packaging mach, back, handrail, fall, hopper

Employee # Inspection Age Sex Degree Nature Occupation
1 306365990 Hospitalized injury Other Mixing and blending machine operators

PopeCrunch posted:

Is it time to repost this old accident report yet? It's a favorite. https://www.osha.gov/pls/imis/accidentsearch.accident_detail?id=201071131

quote:

At 10:45 a.m. on February 8, 2017, Employee #1 was entering a hole to locate a water line for repair. The employee was using a four foot long probe for locating the underground piping. As the employee stepped into the hole, the locating device fell, and the weight of the employee's body forced the probe into the employee's groin area, through his left scrotum and into the pelvic bone. He was hospitalized for his injuries.

quote:

UNUSUAL CASE
Scrotum Self-Repair
By William A. Morton, Jr, MD

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he “needed a doctor who took care of men’s troubles.” The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staple of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We x-rayed the patient’s scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn’t leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work. I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

quote:

Dear Mr. Mikkelson:

I am now retired, but submitted the article; treated the patient about 20-25 years ago and have had phone calls from all corners of the U.S. ever since. A xerox is on the billboard in practically every army post, college dorm, men’s club, etc. I’ve had interviews/phone by talk-show hosts, etc. No Phil Donahue yet!

The man actually came to me 3 days post-injury when the fever, swelling, and pain of secondary infection frightened him. Though unlikely, tetanus was even a
possibility. He was not that impressed with the pain of the moment of injury — it happened so quickly, like losing your fingertip to a band-saw — and was unaware his left testis was probably propelled up into the rafters of the machine shop where he worked.

Every man who questions me imagines the initial pain to have been intense, but should realize that once the testis had been ripped out (gasp!) there was not the continuing discomfort one would experience from a first-class kick in the nuts!

I saw him again 5 years later in the hospital for a non-urologic problem. Incidentally, the Navy has left xeroxes in every bar along the Mediterranean from Gibraltar to Tel Aviv — my son’s girlfriend saw one in Greece 2 years ago.

quote:

On December 4, 2011, Employee #1, of Durhamtown Off Road Park, Incorporated, was operating a bobcat loader. For some reason, a tree limb pierced him in the groin, which hit the main vein/artery, resulting is his death.

Say Nothing posted:

Say Nothing posted:

Wasabi the J posted:

That's such a stupid meme to put that much production int--

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvrZJ5C_Nwg

Say Nothing posted:

Humphreys posted:

I was thinking 'hey that screaming dude kinda looks like Jimmy Barnes with some form of weird hat grabbing issue.

Nope it's Jimmy Barnes.

This thread has ruined Jimmy Barnes for me now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNA4ELdkYCo

Grassy Knowles posted:

Man's getting paid to do a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

I don't see how this lowers him by any estimation.

Sagebrush posted:

Sounds like it's time to post this true classic again

Jerry Cotton posted:

I checked out some of this music when I first saw the Callinan video and that screaming is by far his best work

Serak posted:

Should you ever find yourself in Australia, be aware there are many places it would be an OSHA issue to be heard to say this in public. I am only half kidding.

Pander posted:

"...and so that's how the landlord threw in free covered parking."

Sagebrush posted:

Sounds like it's time to post this true classic again


It sounds fake but this one is completely real. I found it referred to once in one of my dad's medical journals, and Snopes managed to track down the doctor in question:

Platystemon posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY6stOum0wM

Don’t mind me, just distilling petrol into a soda bottle on a kitchen stove.

Serak posted:

Should you ever find yourself in Australia, be aware there are many places it would be an OSHA issue to be heard to say this in public. I am only half kidding.

tater_salad posted:

Pretty sure this guy wants to save a few bucks
. The best part is his homeowner's may not cover things when it eventually blows up.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

A construction worker got hit by a drunk driver and got broken legs, which really sucks. Purely brilliant is the drunk's parking job afterwards (unintentional, of course).

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

A construction worker got hit by a drunk driver and got broken legs, which really sucks. Purely brilliant is the drunk's parking job afterwards (unintentional, of course).


Article: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/drunk-driver-strikes-construction-worker-flips-car-ditch-article-1.3625291

Say Nothing posted:

Grassy Knowles posted:

A funny thing happened on the way to Corum