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And don't stink out your therapist
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Nov 16, 2017 00:43
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One time I was helping a student lift a large object in the shop. He wore really baggy loose pants and when he bent over his pants fell down a bunch and his underwear stuck out and he had a massive skidmark in it like 6 inches long. I don't think I am unusually clean or anything but I do not have poo poo marks in my underwear, and I assumed that most people are the same way. I couldn't comprehend what sort of behavior you'd have to engage in to make a skidmark so bad that if it was obvious from ten feet away on the outside of the cloth. Now I know!
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Nov 16, 2017 04:53
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Sagebrush posted:One time I was helping a student lift a large object in the shop. He wore really baggy loose pants and when he bent over his pants fell down a bunch and his underwear stuck out and he had a massive skidmark in it like 6 inches long. I don't think I am unusually clean or anything but I do not have poo poo marks in my underwear, and I assumed that most people are the same way. I couldn't comprehend what sort of behavior you'd have to engage in to make a skidmark so bad that if it was obvious from ten feet away on the outside of the cloth. What’s his username?
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Nov 16, 2017 05:00
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Sagebrush posted:One time I was helping a student lift a large object in the shop. He wore really baggy loose pants and when he bent over his pants fell down a bunch and his underwear stuck out and he had a massive skidmark in it like 6 inches long. I don't think I am unusually clean or anything but I do not have poo poo marks in my underwear, and I assumed that most people are the same way. I couldn't comprehend what sort of behavior you'd have to engage in to make a skidmark so bad that if it was obvious from ten feet away on the outside of the cloth. WebMD talks about fiber and how it relates to taking a poo poo.
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Nov 16, 2017 05:26
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Burt Sexual posted:What’s his username? Don't know, but it's this guy: 
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Nov 16, 2017 05:33
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confessor posted:My confession is I have very bad hygiene. Buy baby wipes and start using them after you wipe your rear end with dry toilet paper. Even if you don't want to take a shower use a wipe to get the important bits (armpits, crotch, and rear end.) It's not a great solution, but you will be on your way to smelling nice.
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Nov 16, 2017 05:34
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I think smelly confessor is lying. I’m not claiming the confession is stdh.txt, I’m saying she’s deluded or lying about her personal hygiene. Specifically, showering every other day. Assuming she’s washing her whole body with soap every other day, and not just wetting her feet and calling it a shower, there’s no way she could stink enough to be sent home multiple times from a job that doesn’t put her in contact with other humans. Body fluids, body functions, and body odors are a bit of a taboo in western society. Telling someone they stink can very quickly backfire and most people are loathe to do it even when it is blatant. Even when the entire office talks about it and agrees unanimously behind the stinker’s back, people will still try to shove the responsibility of breaking the news to the offending worker onto others. “You’ve known her longer than I have, I think she would take it better coming from you.” To be told you stink, you have to really, really stink. Showering every other day just doesn’t cut it. Even adding the day-old poo poo smell to the day-old sweat smell, you would at most get people avoiding you. You could get ostracized, certainly, but people will make excuses for not having lunch with you, they won’t have your manager send you home. Confessor, you are depressed. You have let yourself go. You are no longer taking care of your body and you haven’t for some time. Seek help.
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Nov 16, 2017 10:29
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Stench goon. Please loving shower. I work with a guy whom I suspect only showers once a week if that. Mondays he's not so bad, but by Friday, its unbearable. I'll assume that he showers on Friday after work. Its worst in summer. Being in the same truck with him is awful. If you work IT and hardly ever see people and they send you home because you smell bad, thats pretty much a sign you have a problem.
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Nov 16, 2017 12:08
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HerStuddMuffin posted:To be told you stink, you have to really, really stink. Showering every other day just doesn’t cut it. Even adding the day-old poo poo smell to the day-old sweat smell, you would at most get people avoiding you. You could get ostracized, certainly, but people will make excuses for not having lunch with you, they won’t have your manager send you home. This is a good point. A PhD student I went to grad school with stunk up every room he walked into, and we knew it wasn't a gland thing or a health issue or whatever because on days when he was scheduled to go visit his long-distance girlfriend he would be mysteriously stench-free. He just didn't give a poo poo about hygiene if nobody around to smell him was willing to have sex with him. But nobody talked to him about it; all we did was make fun of him behind his back.
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Nov 16, 2017 13:58
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Retail is the only place I've ever seen someone get sent home for smelling bad.
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Nov 16, 2017 14:11
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loquacius posted:This is a good point. A PhD student I went to grad school with stunk up every room he walked into, and we knew it wasn't a gland thing or a health issue or whatever because on days when he was scheduled to go visit his long-distance girlfriend he would be mysteriously stench-free. He just didn't give a poo poo about hygiene if nobody around to smell him was willing to have sex with him. But nobody talked to him about it; all we did was make fun of him behind his back. My sister manages a team of about 25, mostly women, in the corporate offices of a local hospital system. She ROUTINELY has to send women home for body odor. These are professional people, mostly accountants. She told me last year it was at least one per month.
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Nov 16, 2017 14:22
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loquacius posted:This is a good point. A PhD student I went to grad school with stunk up every room he walked into, and we knew it wasn't a gland thing or a health issue or whatever because on days when he was scheduled to go visit his long-distance girlfriend he would be mysteriously stench-free. He just didn't give a poo poo about hygiene if nobody around to smell him was willing to have sex with him. But nobody talked to him about it; all we did was make fun of him behind his back. I worked with someone who showered maybe once a week and didnt use deoderant. It got so bad because he wore the same tshirt every day, to the point a female member of my office explained how hygiene laundry worked. It worked for maybe a month, but then he got lazy about it and bought 30 of the SAME t-shirt so he never had to do laundry except MAYBE once a month.
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Nov 16, 2017 14:24
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I bet she's one of those people who got into that "no shampoo" fad and rubs olive oil and whipped cream or whatever into her hair instead. I knew a couple girls who did that in college and they always looked/smelled like a greasy mess. Either that or she just doesn't know how to clean herself in the shower. If you just stand under the water and don't do anything you'd get pretty smelly pretty fast. Anyway I wish it was more acceptable/less awkward to tell people they smell like rear end. There's a guy I work with a lot and he looks clean, but just doesn't wear deoderant, ever. It shouldn't be a big incident to say "could you please wear deoderant" but people act like you just told them they are an awful worthless person and there's a non-zero chance they'll report you to HR for harassment.
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Nov 16, 2017 14:30
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wernox posted:My sister manages a team of about 25, mostly women, in the corporate offices of a local hospital system. She ROUTINELY has to send women home for body odor. Ask any accountant and they'll tell you they don't give a gently caress during busy season.
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Nov 16, 2017 14:30
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In the 6th grade I read an article in Popular Science for Kids that basically said deodorant was actually not a great invention because if you apply it too regularly, your body will begin to overcompensate because you can’t smell yourself and your body overproduced hormones to compensate, thinking that the lack of feedback for its nose must be an issue. As a result, I decided then and there that I just wouldn’t ever use deodorant. I shower every or nearly every other day, same with brushing my teeth, and at age 30 I can count on one hand the number of times someone has mentioned my body odor, and they have all been related to 3+ day festival camping trips where I probably just have super bad LSD-Sweats. Think about it, if humans stank everywhere they went, we wouldn’t have evolved because we’d be so, so easy to hunt. But for a grown woman to not grasp the complexity of “wipe ALL the poo poo out of your rear end” that just screams mental health issue. In classic Freudian literature, butt stuff is the hallmark of extreme control issues, it’s where we get anal-retentive and other terms like that. The wet wipes thing is huge and should clear up most of the work but really really ask yourself, “why do I want an itchy, infected rear end all day?” Maybe you’d rather have some gross physical barrier so you don’t feel like your lonely because you have a bad personality
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Nov 16, 2017 14:30
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I thought humans stunk really bad to keep other animals from eating us.
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Nov 16, 2017 14:53
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If that doesn’t stop tigers from eating monkeys why the gently caress would it stop them from eating us? (Humans evolved because of our high protein diets stimulated pre-natal brain development so we kept becoming smarter and smarter younger and younger)
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Nov 16, 2017 15:05
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loquacius posted:He just didn't give a poo poo about hygiene if nobody around to smell him was willing to have sex with him. That's a kind of circular logic, no? I remember an intern that stank of BO at the last place I worked. I used to dread it when she came in in the mornings, got to her desk next from mine and took off her jacket, I would have mere seconds before the noxious wave of BO would waft over to my personal space and make me retch. It's as bad as people who overdo it with perfume or aftershave - that point where you can loving taste the half gallon of Jean Paul Gaultier they've doused themselves in and somehow managed to stay away from naked flames to avoid turning into a human candle.
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Nov 16, 2017 15:09
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This reminds me! I had a frenemy in High school and around 16-17 he devolved a very particular odor. This dude just smelled like bleach. I mean it was bad, like I had to leave his house and come home once because I went over to his house to play sonic for gamecube and his room was so small and I felt like he was emitting this toxic bleach cloud. I’ve experienced that same odor from other men at the gym or wrestling so I know it’s gotta be sweat related but it was honest-to-god the stench of strong bleach just emanating from this greasy dude. Has anyone ever experienced that or was I just having a nose stroke?
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Nov 16, 2017 15:16
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Bust Rodd posted:If that doesn’t stop tigers from eating monkeys why the gently caress would it stop them from eating us? Tigers are garbage eaters. I'm talking about our species native lions, who are notoriously picky eaters.
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Nov 16, 2017 15:17
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Bust Rodd posted:This reminds me! I had a frenemy in High school and around 16-17 he devolved a very particular odor. This dude just smelled like bleach. I mean it was bad, like I had to leave his house and come home once because I went over to his house to play sonic for gamecube and his room was so small and I felt like he was emitting this toxic bleach cloud. When you're smelling it in the gym, that ammonia smell is a result of the burning of muscle protein during intense workouts. Not sure why that would happen to somebody at rest though.
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Nov 16, 2017 15:27
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Solice Kirsk posted:I thought humans stunk really bad to keep other animals from eating us. idk but I think we should make this thread about  nowI mean, cats (according to wikipedia  ) will clean our smell off of themselves immediately after being petted even though we smell clean and of soap; yet if you go in close to a cat, it stinks? So it's kind of relative. If we all lived together in a cave during the cold months and didn't have motivation to get out from under the furs and into a stream we'd all reek and not notice. Predators are used to smelling any prey though regardless of their grooming habits while they are usually considered some of the smellier animals themselves. Furthermore...*megapost devolves into clan of the cave bear-esque quasi-porn*
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Nov 16, 2017 15:30
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runupon cracker posted:When you're smelling it in the gym, that ammonia smell is a result of the burning of muscle protein during intense workouts. Not sure why that would happen to somebody at rest though. I had a former coworker and I was wondering if there's some medical condition where your sweat smells like stale urine. Like the smell you get with homeless people, but on a person who seemed to at least shower daily and was generally well groomed, he just sweat A LOT. Like walking to lunch 3 minutes away from the office, his head would be coated in sweat. Any longer amount of time and his back would start getting soaked too and that's when the piss smell really started. Some people did ask him why he sweats so much and he just said some probably bullshit thing about how his body doesn't tolerate heat well. I mean I guess that's true, but there has to be some underlying medical reason why it happens and why it smells so bad compared to normal people sweat. I went to his house once and he keeps the temperature at like 62 degrees, which isn't normal and also probably extremely expensive.
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Nov 16, 2017 15:35
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Sweat doesn’t normally smell. There are bacteria living on your skin (and mine, I’m not singling you out) that feed on sweat. Their metabolic byproducts smell. So the smell we associate with sweat is actually old, degraded sweat. That’s why if you sniff yourself right after exercising you might think it’s not so bad, but three hours later you’re giving off a funk that will get you noticed anywhere. So, if your coworker has good hygiene but sweats more profusely than the average, poor dude is cursed to smelling bad halfway through the day. Also 62 is either very, very cold if we’re talking Kelvin, or scalding hot if we’re talking Celsius, the only two units of temperature that actually matter.
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Nov 16, 2017 15:51
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I've always thought jizz smelled fairly of bleach. I can't be the only one because in high school there used to be a tree we called the Jizz Tree due to the smell it gave off.
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Nov 16, 2017 16:04
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Also 62 is either very, very cold if we’re talking Kelvin, or scalding hot if we’re talking Celsius, the only two units of temperature that actually matter. I swear I didn't intend to reignite this derail with that.
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Nov 16, 2017 16:09
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LingcodKilla posted:I've always thought jizz smelled fairly of bleach. I can't be the only one because in high school there used to be a tree we called the Jizz Tree due to the smell it gave off. Its called callery pear.
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Nov 16, 2017 16:13
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LingcodKilla posted:I've always thought jizz smelled fairly of bleach. I can't be the only one because in high school there used to be a tree we called the Jizz Tree due to the smell it gave off. Swimming pools. Also the jizz tree was either a linden or some kind of pear but I didn't think they were that bleach-y
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Nov 16, 2017 16:13
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It was in a walled courtyard right in front of the deans office. Huh. Pear.
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Nov 16, 2017 16:16
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LingcodKilla posted:the Jizz Tree There's a pretty good username.
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Nov 16, 2017 16:17
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It'd work better as The Jizzing Tree IMO get that Silverstein ref in there
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Nov 16, 2017 16:18
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LingcodKilla posted:I've always thought jizz smelled fairly of bleach. I can't be the only one because in high school there used to be a tree we called the Jizz Tree due to the smell it gave off. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHze0SqB5Zg Bust Rodd posted:This reminds me! I had a frenemy in High school and around 16-17 he devolved a very particular odor. This dude just smelled like bleach. I mean it was bad, like I had to leave his house and come home once because I went over to his house to play sonic for gamecube and his room was so small and I felt like he was emitting this toxic bleach cloud. That frenemy reeked of cum. I had a coworker who would shower in the mornings, but not put on deodorant. By the end of the day, her BO could knock you to the floor. We didn't say anything about it, though, because we were all too embarrassed to do so.
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Nov 16, 2017 16:19
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Are you certain her smelling strongly of cum by the end of the day was B.O.?
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Nov 16, 2017 16:29
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25 years ago in high school I didn't have the capability to do a google search on "why does this tree smell like cum".
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Nov 16, 2017 17:04
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Na guys that doesn’t make any sense because then my sweaty, gross nerd friend must have been just constantly jack-... ... Oh god Oh god no
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Nov 16, 2017 17:06
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Been a while since we had some good alien fic ITTquote:ET was a fictionalized version of something that happened to my grandfather in the 1960s. If I could just do some unsolicited tech consulting here: all "the cloud" is is doing your computations on someone else's computer. It's actually a really simple idea and was inevitable with networks getting faster, and it would not require alien secrets. Also if the government was keeping an alien visitor secret for decades they wouldn't just let somebody leave and make a movie about it  Anyway the next one should be a crowd-pleaser quote:I have a micro penis. It’s tiny - my pinky is significantly longer and even a bit girthier.
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Nov 16, 2017 17:17
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I want to believe (both).
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Nov 16, 2017 17:25
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loquacius posted:Been a while since we had some good alien fic ITT
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Nov 16, 2017 17:43
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Are you certain her smelling strongly of cum by the end of the day was B.O.? "Co-worker". Smells of cum by the end of the day. What exactly was the work?
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Nov 16, 2017 19:15
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Solice Kirsk posted:Don't know, but it's this guy: gently caress there is an oldie but goodie
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Nov 16, 2017 19:31
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