"The Long Ride," by INCH DICKMAN

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > "The Long Ride," by INCH DICKMAN

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Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

You could like, buy a plot of land man. Then declare war on the flies :jihad:

# ? Nov 17, 2017 05:25

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 03:56

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

Applesnots posted:

I get this reference.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 05:35

Deteriorata: Feb 6, 2005

DICK DICER posted:

IVE GOT $10K COMING MY WAY IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS AND I THINK IM GONNA MOVE TO VALENTINE PROPER

The Service Tech job at Vermeer still seems to be open. https://g.co/kgs/sjGr7A

Buy a small house and start building some equity. Middle class life is calling you. Two cats, two dogs, and a truck on cinder blocks in the front yard.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 06:54

slothrop: Dec 7, 2006; Santa Alpha, Fox One... Gifts Incoming ~~~>===|>; Soiled Meat

I've no doubt there will be cinders

# ? Nov 17, 2017 06:57

steady: Feb 28, 2011; Pillbug

DICK DICER posted:

IVE GOT $10K COMING MY WAY IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS AND I THINK IM GONNA MOVE TO VALENTINE PROPER

I assumed you cleaned that pool in exchange for a place to hang your hammock (and occasional honey bun) at that hostel. Didn't know you were THAT expensive to hire.
And...Valentine? You gotta shoot higher. Hostile takeover of Mar-A-Lago should be on your cards...

# ? Nov 17, 2017 11:31

randomidiot: May 12, 2006; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 11 years!)

Hasn't Lowtax had enough visits from the Secret Service and FBI already?

But yeah, a lot of (US, anyway) hostels will let you trade a few hours of work every day for a place to stay. The one I stay at every time I visit Austin has some long term residents that do cleaning, check ins, etc for a few hours here and there in exchange for a bed.

randomidiot fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Nov 17, 2017

# ? Nov 17, 2017 14:06

Boaz MacPhereson: Jul 11, 2006; Day 12045 Ht10hands 180lbs
No Name
No lumps No Bumps Full life Clean
Two good eyes No Busted Limbs
Piss OK Genitals intact
Multiple scars Heals fast
O NEGATIVE HI OCTANE
UNIVERSAL DONOR
Lone Road Warrior Rundown
on the Powder Lakes V8
No guzzoline No supplies
ISOLATE PSYCHOTIC
Keep muzzled...

Deteriorata posted:

The Service Tech job at Vermeer still seems to be open. https://g.co/kgs/sjGr7A

Buy a small house and start building some equity. Middle class life is calling you. Two cats, two dogs, and a truck on cinder blocks in the front yard.

There's also a literal brewery that just started and is probably still looking for help. http://www.bolobeer.com/welcome-1/

# ? Nov 17, 2017 14:54

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

Boaz MacPhereson posted:

There's also a literal brewery that just started and is probably still looking for help. http://www.bolobeer.com/welcome-1/

Lol are you recommending someone recovering from substance abuse work at a brewery?

# ? Nov 17, 2017 15:07

Boaz MacPhereson: Jul 11, 2006; Day 12045 Ht10hands 180lbs
No Name
No lumps No Bumps Full life Clean
Two good eyes No Busted Limbs
Piss OK Genitals intact
Multiple scars Heals fast
O NEGATIVE HI OCTANE
UNIVERSAL DONOR
Lone Road Warrior Rundown
on the Powder Lakes V8
No guzzoline No supplies
ISOLATE PSYCHOTIC
Keep muzzled...

BraveUlysses posted:

Lol are you recommending someone recovering from substance abuse work at a brewery?

poo poo, good point. At least it's just beer? I was afraid the Vermeer joint might trigger bad Firestone flashbacks.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 15:15

Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

Deteriorata posted:

The Service Tech job at Vermeer still seems to be open. https://g.co/kgs/sjGr7A

He has said he's never going to wrench professionally again and I don't blame him.

Kinda surprised he wants to go back to Valentine tho, when he left he was posting like he hated the place.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 15:21

Beverly Cleavage: Jun 22, 2004; I am a pretty pretty princess, watch me do my pretty princess dance....

I don't think it's that he wants to LIVE at valentine, but there is a certain vehicle I'm sure he wants there...

# ? Nov 17, 2017 15:40

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

Boaz MacPhereson posted:

poo poo, good point. At least it's just beer?

# ? Nov 17, 2017 15:41

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Everybody knows beer doesnt count

But no, turns out i had $14k (lol serious) in my Firestone 401k I had no knowlege and its actually been going down with fees, so I'm taking the penalty and coordinating with Tremek to use it to repair my license issues, get a mailing address, and jump start my path back into society. I wont waste this opportunity.

Theres just one thing. I cant find any Biturbos for sale in colorado

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:11

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

That's loving awesome dude.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:19

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Applebees Appetizer posted:

He has said he's never going to wrench professionally again and I don't blame him.

Kinda surprised he wants to go back to Valentine tho, when he left he was posting like he hated the place.

I loved the town, i hated riding my bike there

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:25

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Also now that you mentioned it i hated a vast number of other things too

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:26

Deteriorata: Feb 6, 2005

DICK DICER posted:

Also now that you mentioned it i hated a vast number of other things too

You'll hate Colorado, too, but for different reasons.

Every place sucks, it turns out. Different places just give you different things to hate.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:30

steady: Feb 28, 2011; Pillbug

DICK DICER posted:

Everybody knows beer doesnt count

But no, turns out i had $14k (lol serious) in my Firestone 401k I had no knowlege and its actually been going down with fees, so I'm taking the penalty and coordinating with Tremek to use it to repair my license issues, get a mailing address, and jump start my path back into society. I wont waste this opportunity.

That's what I like to hear.

DICK DICER posted:

Theres just one thing. I cant find any Biturbos for sale in colorado

Nah, bro. Trust me, there's no difference between Italian and American-based fire. They all burn the same.

DICK DICER posted:

Also now that you mentioned it i hated a vast number of other things too

Of course. That's why you're gonna set things straight this time. Valentine may be a LBN, but it'll be YOUR LBN.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:32

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

These are the only 3 cities in the USA with cheap rent and jobs.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Omaha, Nebraska
Des Moines, Iowa

Edit: Don't forget to call ahead and order the bucket of gravy challenge.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:35

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

DICK DICER posted:

Everybody knows beer doesnt count

But no, turns out i had $14k (lol serious) in my Firestone 401k I had no knowlege and its actually been going down with fees, so I'm taking the penalty and coordinating with Tremek to use it to repair my license issues, get a mailing address, and jump start my path back into society. I wont waste this opportunity.

Theres just one thing. I cant find any Biturbos for sale in colorado

Dude, you are awesome. Tremek is awesome. Everything is awesome. Glad to hear things are going that well - its an incredible opportunity, and I'm glad you've got a plan.

ps - once you are rich and successful, come up and snowmobile with Tremek and I :P

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:40

Grakkus: Sep 4, 2011

This news made my day. Congratulations and good luck man

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:43

meatpimp: May 15, 2004; Psst -- Wanna buy

EVERYWHERE
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

DICK DICER posted:

Everybody knows beer doesnt count

But no, turns out i had $14k (lol serious) in my Firestone 401k I had no knowlege and its actually been going down with fees, so I'm taking the penalty and coordinating with Tremek to use it to repair my license issues, get a mailing address, and jump start my path back into society. I wont waste this opportunity.

Theres just one thing. I cant find any Biturbos for sale in colorado

Keep in mind that there are two levels of penalties in clearing out retirement funds -- first is the penalty on withdrawal, but then there's a second hit on taxes that'll come up at Income Tax time.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:44

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Well if there is a year to take the income tax hit it is probably this year since his income is so low.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:50

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Seminal Flu posted:

Keep in mind that there are two levels of penalties in clearing out retirement funds -- first is the penalty on withdrawal, but then there's a second hit on taxes that'll come up at Income Tax time.

Is there any way to deduct it in advance and kind of do a no worry lower lump sum

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:51

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Man. Imagine a mid engine box flare group b(iturbo)

# ? Nov 17, 2017 16:54

meatpimp: May 15, 2004; Psst -- Wanna buy

EVERYWHERE
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

Elephanthead posted:

Well if there is a year to take the income tax hit it is probably this year since his income is so low.

This very well may be true.

DICK DICER posted:

Is there any way to deduct it in advance and kind of do a no worry lower lump sum

I don't know a lot about tax stuff, I've just seen friends get dinged when they didn't expect it after taking out retirement funds.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:00

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

DICK DICER posted:

Is there any way to deduct it in advance and kind of do a no worry lower lump sum

no

was the money put into the 401k pre or post tax?

you will probably end up paying 20-25% of that entire lump sum in taxes, so give a quarter of it to your parents right off the bat

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:00

rdb: Jul 8, 2002; chicken mctesticles?

DICK DICER posted:

Is there any way to deduct it in advance and kind of do a no worry lower lump sum

Who is it with? I cleared out one years ago with fidelity and they took out the 10% penalty and the state/federal income tax at my request. I imagine most will be the same, you should call and find out.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:04

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

DICK DICER posted:

Is there any way to deduct it in advance and kind of do a no worry lower lump sum

You might want to take the otherwise not recommended step of posting this question in BFC; you may get detailed guidance based on your choices of future home.

Congratulations on the windfall and I'm glad you have a plan for it.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:04

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:08

Thumposaurus: Jul 24, 2007

I cashed out a 401k I had a few years ago and when I talked with them on the phone about it they asked if I wanted the taxes taken out before they cut the check.
Doesn't hurt to call and ask about it before hand.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:24

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

I mean look at this fukken pool

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:31

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Patio cleaned off

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:36

Seat Safety Switch: May 27, 2008; MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.; Pillbug

That looks pretty nice.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:41

LloydDobler: Oct 15, 2005; You shared it with a dick.

Wanna dip in that pool.

I would not worry about the taxes right now. It just gets added to your taxable income, so if you barely made anything this year then you won't owe anything at all. I mean, what have you earned so far this year? You pay 10% on the first $9300 you earned, and 15% on the next $27k. And that's after your standard deduction and exemption, which are around $10k together.

Example: Say you made 15k this year before the epic journey started, and they withheld taxes from that. Add the 401k and you'll get another $12,600 (assuming 10% penalty). Your total income is $27,600. Subtract the standard exemption and deduction and now it's $17,600. You owe $900 on the first $9000 and $1290 on the remaining $8600.

Basically if you want to be covered, just don't spend all the money. Put a couple grand aside and then just file your taxes in January so you're not tempted to touch the money you had just sitting around.

Hope this wasn't talking down to you, my apologies if so.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:51

Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

What kind of filtration system does it have? Kinda curious how those kind of pools work because there's obviously no chlorine being used.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:53

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

I'd totally pee in that pool.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 17:53

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

DICK DICER posted:

I mean look at this fukken pool

I'm literally on my way to Miami after a week in some cold bullshit and this is making me homesick right now.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 18:10

INCHI DICKARI: Aug 23, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

Applebees Appetizer posted:

What kind of filtration system does it have? Kinda curious how those kind of pools work because there's obviously no chlorine being used.

Its my understanding it gets pumped back into the ground and recirculates through a natural fresh water aquifer under the hostel

# ? Nov 17, 2017 18:13

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 03:56

angryrobots: Mar 31, 2005

LloydDobler posted:

Wanna dip in that pool.

I would not worry about the taxes right now. It just gets added to your taxable income, so if you barely made anything this year then you won't owe anything at all. I mean, what have you earned so far this year? You pay 10% on the first $9300 you earned, and 15% on the next $27k. And that's after your standard deduction and exemption, which are around $10k together.

Example: Say you made 15k this year before the epic journey started, and they withheld taxes from that. Add the 401k and you'll get another $12,600 (assuming 10% penalty). Your total income is $27,600. Subtract the standard exemption and deduction and now it's $17,600. You owe $900 on the first $9000 and $1290 on the remaining $8600.

Basically if you want to be covered, just don't spend all the money. Put a couple grand aside and then just file your taxes in January so you're not tempted to touch the money you had just sitting around.

Hope this wasn't talking down to you, my apologies if so.

The benefit will be small for a single, unmarried person, but he is probably eligible for the earned income tax credit as well.

# ? Nov 17, 2017 18:16

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > "The Long Ride," by INCH DICKMAN

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