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Solice Kirsk posted:Don't know, but it's this guy: don't dox me
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Nov 16, 2017 19:33
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DVD and optical video discs are pretty outdated already and have only been around for about 20 years. If EBE had cloud tech, then DVDs would be outdated already. Immersion ruinied 
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Nov 16, 2017 19:46
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dvds are a direct descendant of cds. the key technology in both is the laser, which was designed based on principles discovered before the first world war. LEDs rely on similar physics, and the first LED was described in 1927. wifi is an extension of microwave radio techniques developed in the years leading up to ww2. "the cloud" is distributed computing, which was the default model of computing until the 1980s. why, that thing sounds like it was written by some teenager with no understanding of historical context who didn't even do any research into the details that would make his story plausible!
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Nov 16, 2017 19:54
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Alien goon: Please tell me if EBT tried to escape as a garbage man that inspired that vehicle in Vigilante 8 2nd Offense. Micro Penis goon: There's a documentsry about the guy wgo infamously was turned down at a sports game because of his small dick so he goes arouns the world finding ways to elongate his dick. I  it is.
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Nov 16, 2017 20:22
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Who's been jacking off on the trees
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Nov 16, 2017 20:32
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That's the finest ash I've ever stuck my pecker in.
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Nov 16, 2017 20:45
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Wood.
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Nov 16, 2017 20:46
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LingcodKilla posted:That's the finest ash I've ever stuck my pecker in. Ooooooh, so that's what all my ex's mean when they say I have a sliver dick. That makes sense. I was worried my dick was small or something. Silly me, how would a quarter of a foot be small?
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Nov 16, 2017 20:51
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LingcodKilla posted:the Jizz Tree by Shel Silverstein? Loved that book as a kid!
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Nov 16, 2017 20:54
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Alien goon: Did your grandad's journal mention if the aliens measured temperature in Fahrenheit or Celsius? Small dick goon: Glad you're happy with a small dick, and that your life is good (no sarcasm). I've always said "my dick ain't huge, but I'm glad its not a micro dick". But then I've pretty much got nothing else going on for me. You measure that poo poo in inches or CM?
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Nov 16, 2017 23:20
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wesleywillis posted:Alien goon: Did your grandad's journal mention if the aliens measured temperature in Fahrenheit or Celsius? Rankine
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Nov 16, 2017 23:46
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loquacius posted:Been a while since we had some good alien fic ITT ...I know that because I think the stuff conspiracy theorists come up with is fascinating fiction. EDIT: Bill Cooper, that's the guy! I think his stuff includes a lot of pre-existing conspiracy theories and he just ties them together into one semi-coherent narrative, so idk if EBE is his invention, but regardless, 0/10 fesh, need more creativity.
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Nov 17, 2017 01:23
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PetraCore posted:This is a rip off of the story a famous conspiracy theorist gave. Yeah, this was all part of that Project Serpo thing from a while back.
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Nov 17, 2017 01:43
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LingcodKilla posted:I've always thought jizz smelled fairly of bleach. Smells like fish to me. It's why I stay away from seafood. Also all this sweat talk reminds me of being incredibly paranoid about people getting a massive hum of cider off me the day after I wake up from my stupor, despite scrubbing myself to poo poo. Though to be honest I know that my sweat smells a peculiar way two days after drinking. Or whenever I added stock pots/cubes to meals I cooked, my sweat smells extra salty then.
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Nov 17, 2017 02:21
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therattle posted:"Co-worker". Smells of cum by the end of the day. What exactly was the work? No, my co-worker just had bad and unmanaged BO. She didn't smell like cum. I was saying Bust Rodd's friend's bleachy stink was from all his jackin'. Unrelated, dollars to donuts EBE fesher is a Last Podcast On the Left fan. The topic of the last two episodes was the grandfather of the modern alien/conspiracy theory and author of Behold, a Pale Horse, Bill Cooper, and went into detail about his reports of interactions with an alien called EBE who was picked up at Roswell. It's a good listen if you need background noise for a few hours.
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Nov 17, 2017 15:53
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The secret Santa goon wrote backquote:The glitterbomb derail is exactly why I wanted to go with the Tyler Perry dvds. Also because I'm too afraid my skin will mix with the glitter and be used as dna evidence. I still don't know what your question was Another followup from earlier: quote:Hi, You should probably give those six-packs away, but I'm glad you're doing ok! Those were both pretty short and I do have a puppetmaster reply in the queue (verified with the plaintext of the hash) so here it is: quote:Let me be clear: I do not create probes, just magnify them. I monitor problematic individuals, and along with my posse who report as if an occult hand had taken control of their mouse pointer, generate probes. (Mods tend to at least 6er something on the edge with a few reports) It is my real name, actually, and I am just super convinced that you could totally do this if you wanted but you don't want to I'm a programmer, buddy. I know you can't just point researcher code at forums.somethingawful.com and say "get cracking." You have to first translate the pseudocode into a real language and then either teach it to crawl the forums and parse the HTML itself, or put the entire contents of the forums into a database that your translated pseudocode can read. And nobody wants to do that much work, and then probably find that the results are inconclusive in the end, just because some anonymous other person said the word "puppetmaster" in defiance of your clear forums copyright. Frankly I don't think you have the chops  I actually want him to try to do all of this stuff because it would be entertaining
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Nov 17, 2017 16:24
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Puppetmaster feshes are lame and boring. I wanna see some nutjob claim supremacy over, say, a failing Macy’s or something.
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Nov 17, 2017 16:28
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OutOfPrint posted:Unrelated, dollars to donuts EBE fesher is a Last Podcast On the Left fan. The topic of the last two episodes was the grandfather of the modern alien/conspiracy theory and author of Behold, a Pale Horse, Bill Cooper, and went into detail about his reports of interactions with an alien called EBE who was picked up at Roswell. It's a good listen if you need background noise for a few hours. I read Behold a Pale Horse twenty years ago. The author is a complete wingnut, yet he got a surprising number of facts right (for example, he predicted a huge increase in 'random' mass shootings).
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Nov 17, 2017 16:59
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I swear I didn't intend to reignite this derail with that. You would say that, puppet master.
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Nov 17, 2017 17:43
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Sorry I’ll stop sending them in
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Nov 17, 2017 17:44
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VanSandman posted:Puppetmaster feshes are lame and boring. I killed Sears in Canada. Because I once said "Sears kinda sucks these days". A bunch of people heard me and welp.......
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Nov 17, 2017 18:25
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wesleywillis posted:I killed Sears in Canada. Because I once said "Sears kinda sucks these days". A bunch of people heard me and welp....... there's a kmart near me people refuse to park in front of for some reason it's next to a grocery store that has 2 entrances, and people will not park one row left of the left entrace... they'd rather circle the other half of the lot then park at the rear end end 
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Nov 17, 2017 18:29
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maybe it has a hobo corpse
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Nov 17, 2017 18:50
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HerStuddMuffin posted:I think smelly confessor is lying. I’m not claiming the confession is stdh.txt, I’m saying she’s deluded or lying about her personal hygiene. Specifically, showering every other day. Assuming she’s washing her whole body with soap every other day, and not just wetting her feet and calling it a shower, there’s no way she could stink enough to be sent home multiple times from a job that doesn’t put her in contact with other humans. I had this farmhand named Dave who never brushed his teeth and smelled like someone ate nothing but bad sauerkraut, poo poo their pants and then set their loving diaper on fire. When I work around animal poo poo and piss all day and the first thing I notice is this guy's stench, that was pretty bad. He was living in a 38' trailer on the property that had been hooked up with a nice hot water heater and a flush toilet - actually, it was quite nice inside and out. What I didn't know was that he was a diabetic. He never washed his clothes and he slammed down about 18-30 beers a day. He never had any energy and 4 times I had to have the medics come out and give him glucose for his low blood sugar. He passed out one time using a power augur to dig new fence posts. I'd had enough of him - the fucker would buy DVD's by the crate load from Amazon and smell instead of washing his loving clothes. When I got the bill from the medics the last time, I told him, if you don't manage your diabetes properly, and I find you in a coma AGAIN, I'll just pick you up and drag your rear end off the property and call 911. That didn't happen - because I said it in anger. I did everything I could for this guy, but he'd never shower or clean himself off. After I poo poo-canned him, and he only worked for me for about 4 months, the trailer he moved into was pretty trashed. The toilet had a layer of gray scum the likes I'd never seen. My new hire slept in my guest bedroom until the trailer was decontaminated.
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Nov 17, 2017 19:12
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Police Automaton posted:maybe it has a hobo corpse Kmart is the hobo corpse
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Nov 17, 2017 19:23
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quote:I tire of this I can't help but read this post in Lego Batman's voice.
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Nov 17, 2017 20:43
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RFC2324 posted:Rankine
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Nov 18, 2017 02:52
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maskenfreiheit posted:"The cloud" is just client server, which is how computing was done back in the days of mainframes and predates the timeline in this fesh. Good thing I knew this obscure technical fact or we'd have fallen for this incredibly convincing confession Literally 'Someone's PC', Pokemon was trying to teach us this.
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Nov 18, 2017 05:32
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I've met aliens before and they don't know poo poo
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Nov 18, 2017 05:52
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Please stay away from the F1 thread, puppet master. Our posts are lovely beyond belief and we're all susceptible to meltdowns. 
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Nov 18, 2017 14:16
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Theophany posted:Please stay away from the F1 thread, puppet master. Our posts are lovely beyond belief and we're all susceptible to meltdowns. I implore you, puppet master goon, to enter their domain and speak to the much higher level of skill it takes to drive NASCAR than F1.
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Nov 18, 2017 14:22
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I challenge the puppetmaster goon to get me banned. Shouldn't be too hard.
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Nov 18, 2017 14:33
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jizz smells like bananas and/or banana bread
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Nov 18, 2017 15:35
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quote:I'm tired of going out of my way to find an empty bathroom stall at work. We have limited stall space, and I work in a large office with a guy that'll just sit there in the stall minimum 6x a day not taking a poo poo for 20-30 minutes at a time. He'll tear pieces and pieces of toilet paper, attempt to wipe, and then flush. Rinse and repeat over and over again. This sounds like a problem for the boss honestly You don't have to have an awkward conversation with this guy but somebody probably should. That's part of the burden of authority. Have the boss do it. Anyway, been a while since we had a gloryhole fesh quote:My confession is that depending on how you define virginity, I lost mine in a Sears bathroom. come see the softer side
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Nov 18, 2017 15:49
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SniperWoreConverse posted:jizz smells like bananas and/or banana bread You've got... diabetes. Aww, is someone not feeling well? Your illness is very important to us.
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Nov 18, 2017 15:49
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Sometimes I'll go do a fake poo poo in the bathroom for 20 minutes or so when I need time to think. Our bathroom was completely closed off stalls and sometimes the noise of my officemates typing and talking gets to me and I need to go in there and concentrate. I'm working though, not just wasting time.
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Nov 18, 2017 16:16
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Sometimes when I have to poo poo in the office and someone sits in a stall and then just starts a whole symphony of butt trumpeting I have to stifle my laughs sometimes it's so much I start crying.
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Nov 18, 2017 16:22
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tater_salad posted:Sometimes when I have to poo poo in the office and someone sits in a stall and then just starts a whole symphony of butt trumpeting I have to stifle my laughs sometimes it's so much I start crying. Ali Wong has a bit about how she can't take people seriously at work when they try to challenge or reprimand her on something if she has previously heard them having severe intestinal distress in the ladies' room
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Nov 18, 2017 16:24
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tater_salad posted:Sometimes when I have to poo poo in the office and someone sits in a stall and then just starts a whole symphony of butt trumpeting I have to stifle my laughs sometimes it's so much I start crying.
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Nov 18, 2017 16:38
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I work in a building with three floors. The first floor has one sink, one urinal and one toilet. Right above it the 2nd floor has two sinks, one urinal and one toilet. Third floor same space has one sink, one urinal, two toilets. Since it’s a IT building most of the fatties avoid the third floor so I always go them first to get a toilet.
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Nov 18, 2017 18:10
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