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I love the stereotype (?) of dads as having superhero reflexes in an emergency but the only thing they ask in return is to make their terrible jokes and fall asleep on the sofa in peace.
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Nov 20, 2017 20:55
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Bullfighting can have negative effects on raising testosterone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NEpfBHMm8w http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/11/20/bullfighter-gored-in-groin-carried-out-ring-bleeding-and-screaming-in-pain.html?ICID=ref_fark
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Nov 20, 2017 21:08
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Phanatic posted:Guy hires a hit man to murder his wife. I thought everyone knew that every single "hitman" you've ever known is actually a cop?
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Nov 20, 2017 21:19
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BovineFury posted:Bullfighting can have negative effects on raising testosterone. Mods please change my name to "Gored in the Groin"
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Nov 20, 2017 21:19
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEjag-a7TyU
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Nov 20, 2017 21:25
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Memento posted:I thought everyone knew that every single "hitman" you've ever known is actually a cop? Their job is only to find and arrest the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet, yeah.
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Nov 20, 2017 21:30
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BovineFury posted:Bullfighting can have negative effects on raising testosterone. I'm the ICID=ref_fark
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Nov 20, 2017 21:34
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Phanatic posted:Guy hires a hit man to murder his wife. I predict...someone using the term 'entrapment' wrong in the very near future!
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Nov 20, 2017 21:36
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Memento posted:I thought everyone knew that every single "hitman" you've ever known is actually a cop? They always overlook the possibility of the person they ask going to the cops too. Like, I know precisely 0 people that I could ask about if they know a hitman where they wouldn't immediately be like "dude I know we're friends but that's hosed up and I'm calling the cops." It also seems common that they ask some random acquaintance, like hey lemme ask that shady dude from my bowling league, I'm sure he's totally discreet and looking to be the middle-man in a murder for hire scheme.
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Nov 20, 2017 21:38
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Phanatic posted:Guy hires a hit man to murder his wife. I want to see him hire a hitman to kill his wife and the two previous assassins...
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Nov 20, 2017 21:41
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Memento posted:I thought everyone knew that every single "hitman" you've ever known is actually a cop? Oh, but a clever murderer-by-proxy can figure the people who CANNOT possibly be cops: judges! and lawyers! They're not allowed to be cops, so he should ask one of them.
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Nov 20, 2017 21:48
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I mean, at this point you may as well keep trying to find a hitman. Kinda seems like his only out anymore.
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Nov 20, 2017 21:49
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Phanatic posted:Guy hires a hit man to murder his wife. quote:Lightning sometimes does strike twice, and the defendant was betrayed a second time. From the top rope, Judge Selya with a judicial bodyslam! Seriously though, some judges have a way with words that is utterly beyond belief. I remember there being some fairly solid ones this document written by a Canadian judge on sovcits/free men on the land. https://www.canlii.org/en/ab/abqb/doc/2012/2012abqb571/2012abqb571.html quote:It is very unfortunate that any person would be so gullible as to believe that free money can be obtained by these theatrics, but nevertheless some, like Mr. Meads, appear unable to resist the temptation of wealth without obligation. One can only hope that in the future OPCA gurus will find A4V less attractive, and their risk-loving customers instead invest in alternative forms of speculation, such as lottery tickets, which provide infinitely better prospects for return.
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Nov 20, 2017 21:51
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I wonder what was so important the he even tried to get her killed in the first place, much less a second time.
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Nov 20, 2017 21:51
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Wasabi the J posted:Chiaki (Endo's ex wife) is the best loving thing that ever happened to that group because she repeatedly shows up to gently caress with Endo, and plays it so loving straight that it's scary. Endo's audition for a Chiaki substitute, in which he hands out subtle humiliation on participants, is fantastic. Come for the "you have friends?" slam on Endo, stay all the way for his supposed "mother" and translator laying some insults down on the winner of the audition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPksTLiDBxY
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Nov 20, 2017 21:54
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On your way to that meeting with the hitman? Here's a little tip that will be sure to prevent any embarrassing misunderstandings. Simply ask the hitman, "Are you a cop?" They can't lie, so if he's a cop, he can't say no!
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Nov 20, 2017 21:59
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Memento posted:I thought everyone knew that every single "hitman" you've ever known is actually a cop? Either that, or all the hitmen who aren't cops are extremely competent and discreet.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:07
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The Lone Badger posted:Either that, or all the hitmen who aren't cops are extremely competent and discreet. Outside of organized crime/gangs where "hitmen" might murder someone to further the goals of the organization, I really don't think hitmen as they're usually presented in the movies exist by and large.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:15
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I choose to believe Grosse Pointe Blank is based on real events.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:19
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`Nemesis posted:I'm the ICID=ref_fark Didn't you see the thread about Fark? Nobody goes to that dead news aggregate anymore. 
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Nov 20, 2017 22:19
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BovineFury posted:Didn't you see the thread about Fark? Nobody goes to that dead news aggregate anymore. RIP the Digg button.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:23
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Basebf555 posted:Outside of organized crime/gangs where "hitmen" might murder someone to further the goals of the organization, I really don't think hitmen as they're usually presented in the movies exist by and large. In the longform stories thread (I think) someone posted a story of a guy who hired a hitman to kill his wife with a hammer. The wife was bigger and stronger than the hitman realized, she got the upper hand on him and ended up strangling him to death. Husband died in jail. Here's an article: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/i-strangled-the-hammer-hitman-my-husband-sent-369807
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Nov 20, 2017 22:25
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BovineFury posted:Didn't you see the thread about Fark? Nobody goes to that dead news aggregate anymore. Link?
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Nov 20, 2017 22:25
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Randaconda posted:Link? https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3841165
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Nov 20, 2017 22:29
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SpacePig posted:I wonder what was so important the he even tried to get her killed in the first place, much less a second time. He wasn't trying to murder his wife the second time. The second plot was for the undercover officer and the informant who turned on him since they were the key witnesses to the first crime. It didn't go too bad for him since the appeals court judge ruled the district court erred in sentencing him. So instead of twenty years, he'll probably only get ten for the second crime.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:30
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Basebf555 posted:Outside of organized crime/gangs where "hitmen" might murder someone to further the goals of the organization, I really don't think hitmen as they're usually presented in the movies exist by and large. They do exist. Woody Harrelson's father was one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Harrelson They're mostly small-time hoods, not John Wick, but "Guy who offers to accept jobs to kill people for money" is a thing.
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Nov 20, 2017 22:31
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https://twitter.com/Brett_A_Taylor/status/932701344082923520
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Nov 20, 2017 22:54
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Phanatic posted:They do exist. Woody Harrelson's father was one: The Iceman, as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kuklinski
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Nov 20, 2017 23:25
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Basebf555 posted:Outside of organized crime/gangs where "hitmen" might murder someone to further the goals of the organization, I really don't think hitmen as they're usually presented in the movies exist by and large. You don’t think the John Wick presentation of NYC playing host to like 50,000 hitmen is entirely realistic? That’s disappointing.
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Nov 20, 2017 23:41
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Post more dumb criminals. 
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Nov 20, 2017 23:46
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doesn't that second dude get away because that person at the very end actually opens the door and lets them out??
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Nov 20, 2017 23:59
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A new take on an old classic I like it
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Nov 21, 2017 00:01
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BloodRed posted:doesn't that second dude get away because that person at the very end actually opens the door and lets them out?? Yeah. Guy Ritchie loved it so much he put the scene into Snatch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpXj4cj5MUw
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Nov 21, 2017 00:16
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Phanatic posted:They do exist. Woody Harrelson's father was one: That's what I mean though, they're just guys who work for organized crime and the ones who show a talent for it end up getting a lot of those same type of "assignments" but it's not like the lone freelancer you see in a lot of movies. Like, I don't think Woody's father ever took random contracts from husbands looking to bump off their wives, he just killed guys that the mob wanted dead for whatever reason. Edit:a quick look at the wiki pages shows that he totally did take random jobs so there you go, obviously they do exist at least sometimes.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:27
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boner confessor posted:i wish i could find the clip of tanaka's son reading the sappy letter and then ordering his father to be thai kicked because the blend of emotions that crosses his face in that moment is This (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4316yy) is maybe the funniest thing in the world, but you sort of have to know them first. Pie Hell is a really good start. After that, 24 Hour Tag on Team Gaki or Police, or Hotel, are good first games. It's thoroughly schadenfreude.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:38
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Saint Freak posted:I mean, at this point you may as well keep trying to find a hitman. Kinda seems like his only out anymore. Is this the Martingale system for finding hit men? I.e. It will work as long as you eventually find a genuine hitman who is willing and able to kill 2,048 victims.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:47
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BloodRed posted:doesn't that second dude get away because that person at the very end actually opens the door and lets them out?? All he needed to do was pull the door instead of pushing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-exyprNbJQ Say Nothing has a new favorite as of 00:57 on Nov 21, 2017 |
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Nov 21, 2017 00:49
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Hey man, toss me that log that makes you fall asleep https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3PylR_S3S4
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Nov 21, 2017 02:51
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The Russian Weekend At Bernie’s is so much better than the original.
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Nov 21, 2017 02:57
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That remains one of the most beautiful, funniest and cruellest things I have ever seen in my life. I will never get tired of it.
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Nov 21, 2017 03:37
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