- Sorryformybadjokes
- Apr 21, 2004
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I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
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Fallen Rib
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yeah he stuck his finger in his butt and tasted it or something
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Nov 20, 2017 23:57
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 26, 2024 14:19
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- Adventure Pigeon
- Nov 8, 2005
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I am a master storyteller.
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Uuuhhh that's a good question.
Oldie but goodies like birth el pup and eagle having boyfriend are great, but wanting to buy mom a boobjob and kids at wedding has potential for staying power.
Speaking of weddings... I don't care about your weddings, especially if you are a white American and no one was maimed.
I want to read about eagle having boyfriend again. That dude was cool.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:02
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- The Lone Badger
- Sep 24, 2007
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And cloakdog.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:11
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- Palpek
- Dec 27, 2008
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Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.
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How can I get my [28 M] ex-roommate [31 M] to pay over a year's worth of missing rent?
quote:
From 2013–2015, I lived with several guys in a fratlike situation (mistake #1) where I paid the rent and utilities, and they paid me back (mistake #2). One of these guys I wasn't very close with and didn't really trust, but I still let him take a bedroom (mistake #3) and stay off the lease (mistake #4).
Within a year he'd been fired from his job and stopped paying rent. Instead of looking for a new one, he spent months blaming others and spending money on lots of drugs. He never said anything — well, once he thanked me for letting him stay — until I confronted him over his lack of initiative. His response was to say, "I'm not on the lease, so there's nothing you can do," slam his door in my face, and refuse to answer when I asked him to come out, cool off, and shake my hand. Then he bought a new computer. After this I held a house meeting with the others where I told them I was going to kick him out. But discussing it cooled me off, and I relented (mistake #5).
Now it's been years and he still hasn't paid. I still see him now and then because my other friends still hang with him (I know). He has only brought it up to sketchily offer me some free lamps from his job at a lighting manufacturer, which he says I can sell for more than he owes. Bullshit — he owes me money, not lamps. I told him as much via text and got no reply.
I know I have been a doormat and it will be hard to recover, but how can I get him to pay so I can finally kick him out of my life? I have lots of spreadsheets, emails, and texts documenting his repeated acknowledgement of the debt, but I am hesitant to cause drama via legal action.
tl;dr: Sketchy roommate stopped paying rent after a year, but has plenty of money for recreation. Still owes me several years later, but I have been too passive to make him take me seriously. How can I make him pay me so I can finally kick him out of my life? 
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Nov 21, 2017 00:17
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- UZR IS BULLSHIT
- Jan 25, 2004
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he wasnt being blackmailed for a jerkoff video, it was something alot worse.
Yeah and the dude on Reddit probably isn’t giving us the full story either.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:20
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- Palpek
- Dec 27, 2008
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Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.
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My(26f) husband (25m) has terrible hygiene issues and I no longer want to be intimate with him.
quote:
To start off my husband is an amazing person, he works full time to support me being a stay at home mom to our newborn, comes home from long exhausting days and just wants to help me so I can have a break. He’s incredible.
The issue is that he is extremely gross. When we were dating he wasn’t the cleanest, but he tried, he would shower more regularly and brush his teeth and attempt to do something with his hair. We’ve been married for over a year, and he showers once a week (and his job does require him to be active and get dirty) never washes his hair, and will only brush his teeth if I tell him too multiple time. I’m not his mother and I hate having to do this. One of his front teeth is even starting to discolor and I think it will rot.
I try to avoid kissing him, and I don’t want to have sex with him because he does not turn me on at all because his breath is unbearable.
The dilemma I’m having is bringing this up to him. I feel guilty “pestering” him with this because for how amazing he is in all other areas. This is literally the only issue this man has, he’s incredible; however, this is an issue I can not over look. I miss making out with him and being passionate and I want to be able to do that again without holding my breath and faking everything.
We are adults, how the heck do I resolve this? I don’t want to talk to friends or family because I don’t want them to judge him, so reddit, I need help.
TL;DR My husband has awful hygiene and I don’t know how to bring the issue up to him that I don’t want to be intimate with him anymore because of it. 
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Nov 21, 2017 00:37
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- Palpek
- Dec 27, 2008
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Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.
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Me [18 M] with my [17 F] , 1 year, Dancing/Grinding with other guys
quote:
Hey all, so my girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months, 5 of which have been long distance, 6 weeks of that with no communication because of boot camp. She's a senior in my high school, and I'm a freshman in a military academy, so my life is pretty regimented right now.
Long story short, the first 3 months were mind-boggling, this girl is perfect. We've had some rough patches in the last few months, but we've mostly resolved them, or so I thought. She went a spirit week dance last week and told me she wasn't going to grind on other guys, just hang with friends.
Well the night of she ended up going with a friend. I texted her how it went after, and she said that she had a lot of fun, and ground on like 10 or 11 guys. Not like a quick butt tap, but like 1-2 songs a piece of straight grinding, with guys pushing her down for more, according to her. She basically said that she had her hands on the floor and was really giving these guys a show, if you catch my drift. This is also her first time grinding at any dance, she only did it once before with me. I'm just sitting there like "oh ok", and I felt like shes trying to make me jealous. But I kinda went along with it and asked her like how was it. She honesty acted like I should be impressed by all this, and was bragging about how sore she was and could barely walk the next day.
I honestly wasn't bothered at first, I was glad that she got out and had a fun night. I even told her to live it up and have fun. I just didn't really expect this from her. I don't want to be a controlling boyfriend, especially in the position we are at right now, but I'm pretty bothered that she did this. Do I let this go? Do I make a bigger deal of it? I don't know, because I really love her, but I almost start shaking when I think of that scene.
What would you all do in this situation?
tl;dr: Girlfriend full out ground on 11 different guys and REALLY got into it at a school dance after saying she would go but just hang out with friends. I'm very bothered by it but it was the first time something like this ever happened, not sure how to approach it, or what an appropriate level of response is.
quote:Marine here. She is going to cheat on you if she hasn't already. She will do so in the worst possible way at the most inconvenient moment. You owe your brothers a clear and level head. Get rid of her or start swinging. That's the only advice I can give you.
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Nov 21, 2017 00:59
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Buy her a mortar and pestle as a severance package
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Nov 21, 2017 01:17
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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How can I get my [28 M] ex-roommate [31 M] to pay over a year's worth of missing rent?
There's a 4 year statute of limitations on contract debts, and 2 years for certain other debts, so every penny from 2013 is toast, and each month for 2014 will become uncollectible as that month passes in 2018, if it's not all already.
Really, though, when this guy says he wants "peace of mind", he could have it tomorrow if he would just loving forget about it and let the deadbeat move on with his life.
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Nov 21, 2017 02:36
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- sincx
- Jul 13, 2012
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furiously masturbating to anime titties
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Hahaha haha
quote:
Chinese Sheng Nu moving back to China to get married?
Hi, (This is my first post in /r/China, I posted similar questions in /r/AsianMasculinity).
I have a 40 year old single Chinese female friend who is currently living in Silicon Valley/Bay Area. She is pretty successful: PhD, owns her house, have a good engineering salary, never married, no kids.. But she is 40, a little bit chubby, and short (5'0-5'1"), not stunning but not ugly.
Her goal is to get married about mid next year. She wants to have a baby right away and have a husband to support this. So, IVF is out of the question.
She is having a very difficult time in Silicon Valley to find the someone up to her standards to marry. She is blaming the Bay Area for the lack of quality men around her age to marry. She goes to Meetup and to many church events. The only men that she likes are younger good looking Chinese and Caucasian men, but she knows that they are not going to marry her.
She is now disgruntled about Silicon Valley/Bay Area, and wants to move back to China soon. She told me that she stands a better chance of finding someone because there are much more men to choose from.
Her idea of a good partner is 38-44 years old, have a good income (similar to how much she makes as a PhD engineer in Silicon Valley), and decent looking.
What's your opinion on her moving back to China? What is your opinion on how she can find a suitable husband?
For having a PhD, she sure isn't very intelligent about life decisions.
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Nov 21, 2017 03:52
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- chumbler
- Mar 28, 2010
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Hahaha haha
For having a PhD, she sure isn't very intelligent about life decisions.
I think you will find that PhDs and poor life decisions frequently go hand in hand.
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Nov 21, 2017 03:59
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- CrazyLoon
- Aug 10, 2015
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"..."
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I still do not understand how these people who hate being clean exist. I mean he sounds like a good husband, but if I had a dirty and exhausting job I'd probably be in the shower as soon as I got home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qm4ai_1N0s
Folks like this genuinely do exist. But I gotta admit, I'm amazed the guy actually managed to convince a woman to marry him lol...
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Nov 21, 2017 04:24
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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*Paging Pick... Paging Pick to the /r/relationships thread*
screw you I got a probation in this thread the last time I said that
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Nov 21, 2017 04:33
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Hahaha haha
For having a PhD, she sure isn't very intelligent about life decisions.
Hmm yes, asian countries, well known for their enjoyment of older women.
It's kind of funny that she'd rather move to china than relax her standads on finding a husband that makes 6 figures, I mean realistically if she wants a baby now anyways then either her or the person she gets involved with is gonna take a hit to their career so what's the issue with finding some guy that makes less but would have a more compatible lifestyle with raising children?
That's what the rich dudes in her area are doing, they aren't looking for the tech wife of their dreams they're dating someone younger that can take care of their baby.
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Nov 21, 2017 04:45
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- ikanreed
- Sep 25, 2009
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I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.
syq dude, just syq!
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Pick is always watching every thread where goons act superior over their bare minimum social graces like a goddamn hawk.
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Nov 21, 2017 05:24
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- Bunni-kat
- May 25, 2010
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Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?
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how do you monitor an entire website though
Pick has a Google Alert set up with a name search. It’s hooked up to a klaxon.
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Nov 21, 2017 05:30
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- Admiral Ray
- May 17, 2014
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Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
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My [26F] husband [31M] (of 3 years) kicked me out of the car during a fight, then he got mad because I didn't walk straight home
quote:
My husband and I went to a friend's birthday party this weekend. Around midnight I was tired and ready to go but he was still talking to people. I sent a text and told him in person I was ready to leave but he wouldn't wrap it up. I finally went out to the car a little after 1 to wait/sleep. I woke up to him getting inside the car at 1:20. He slammed the door and right away I could tell he was in a bad mood.
He started saying I was dramatic and embarrassing. I was genuinely confused and told him so. Nothing I did was remotely dramatic and I didn't make a scene or anything. I sent a text first to discreetly let him know I was tired and wanted to go home. He didn't respond, I figured his phone was on silent or something, so I found him and politely told him I was tired and ready to leave. He seemed fine at the time, smiled, said it was only going to be a few more minutes. I decided to go out to the car when I noticed my eyes closing while I sat in the middle of our friend's living room. I just got up, wished our friend a happy birthday, said goodbye to two people, and quietly went out to the car.
I tried going over it with him but that just made him more angry. He actually asked me if I saw anyone else's wife acting "that way." I answered I hadn't but that wasn't the point, I was tired, and wehad a long day (he, of course, knew that). He replied with something along the lines of the "other wives" being more fun. I was getting pretty mad, so I stopped responding but that wasn't good enough. He kept going and said I was disrespectful and I should have waited INSIDE (he really emphasized that word). My feelings were really hurt by then but I stayed quiet.
He didn't like that I stopped responding/fighting with him and pulled into a parking lot (just under two miles from our house). He started yelling at me for being childish, I stayed silent. He yelled a little more then he just stopped and said, "you know what, get out, walk home, maybe it'll give you time to think about acting like such an f-ing brat." I didn't know what to do, so I asked him if he was serious. He reached across me and opened my door without speaking. I was kind of shocked but I got out. He drove off as soon as I closed the door.
I walked to the park across the street and cried. I thought about calling someone but it was late and I was embarrassed. So, I sat there crying off and on, as well as thinking about our fight for about an hour or so. He sent a text at that point asking where I was and I ignored it but did start walking home.
He was sitting on the couch when I walked in. He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. My feet hurt (from walking home in 4" heels, then barefoot part of the way) and I was exhausted, I told him I didn't want to fight anymore and proceeded to walk to our bedroom. I was getting ready to take a shower and he came into the room and asked why it took me so long to get home. I was over his nonsense, started tearing up, and said I was crying in the park. I also asked what was wrong with him. He said nothing was wrong with him, in fact he came right home. I was the one in question. I asked him what he was implying, he laughed at me and said I could have been d***throating a junkie in the park for all he knows. I felt so defeated, I was crying, frustrated, and even more confused. He was clearly mad, but also making insensitive jokes and trying to act like he didn't care that much at the same time.
I told him I was going to sleep in the guest room and he had to get one last "joke" in, so he asked if I was going to sneak my new boyfriend through the window. I was furious but too tired to respond. I locked myself in the guest room and passed out. He was gone the next morning when I woke up. We didn't see each other until the afternoon and we barely spoke. He's avoiding me and when we're in each other's presence he's cold. About two hours ago I asked him what he wanted to eat tonight (in text) and he replied to make whatever I want because he's going out. I asked where he was going and about an hour later he replied with "idk, maybe I'll go hang out at the park tonight."
I'm not sure what to think. My husband has acted like an rear end in a top hat before during fights but he usually gets over it within a reasonable amount of time (not two days). He's implied I was being dishonest or cheating before but he's never been so vulgar about it. He's never kicked me out of the car or continued antagonizing me while I was crying prior to this incident. I know I've said this a lot in this post but I'm really confused. How should I deal with this?
tl;dr: My husband and I got into a fight while driving home from a friend's house. I stopped engaging and he became more upset, pulled over and told me to walk home. He drove off and I walked to a park across the street. I stayed there for about an hour and then I walked home after he sent a text asking where I was. Once I got home he started arguing with me again, said it was stupid of me to go to the park and implied I might have been cheating on him. He also made vulgar jokes about me preforming sex acts in the park and sneaking homeless people into our house for sex. We haven't spoken much in two days.
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Nov 21, 2017 08:27
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Well that was just depressing, I dunno why I read it.
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Nov 21, 2017 08:46
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- cowofwar
- Jul 30, 2002
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by Athanatos
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My [26F] husband [31M] (of 3 years) kicked me out of the car during a fight, then he got mad because I didn't walk straight home
You sure chose a winner.
What the gently caress is this?
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Nov 21, 2017 09:04
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- Palpek
- Dec 27, 2008
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Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.
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Buckle up people, this one is pretty out there:
My parents [50s M/F] invited me [21F] and my boyfriend [20M] of 3 months to Thanksgiving. But they have a third partner [22M]
quote:
This is a really awkward and difficult situation for me.
About a year ago my parents began a non-traditional relationship with another guy. They told me and my brother this summer. They didn't get too explicit but as I understand, it's basically a cuckold type of relationship. They refer to the other guy as a "bull" or as my mom's boyfriend. Honestly I didn't need to know about this, I don't care if they do it but there isn't a reason to tell your kids....unless the bull ends up moving in with you, as was the case here.
The guy's only a year older than me. He's in college too. This summer he moved into their house so he didn't have to pay room and board at his school.
I'm barely home because I go to school and have a job on the other side of the country. My brother is in high school and still lives with them though. So he started talking to me more over the past few months, telling me that this dude has hit on him sometimes, and that it's just loving weird and he can't wait to move out. He's applying to colleges this year and must be the only kid in his class excited to write those essays. He also picked up a part time job at Dunkin Donuts, and works night shifts, to avoid being home as much as possible because the other guy lives there now. He also can't have his friends over anymore because of this.
The last time I saw my parents was before they told me about this, so I haven't met the guy yet. My brother has told me plenty about him though. He's usually shirtless, and gives my mom semi-erotic massages in places like the kitchen. "Dude looks like he does steroids" according to my brother. Apparently our dad sleeps on the couch more often than not. poo poo like that.
So it kinda goes without saying, this was all really offputting to me especially once I realized how uncomfortable my brother is. Honestly I'm mad at my parents, like have whatever midlife crisis you want but don't display it in front of your kids y'know?
I don't talk to my parents that often but my mom called the other day to catch up. She knew I started dating a guy back at the beginning of the semester and asked if I wanted to bring him home with me for Thanksgiving. She's offering to pay for both our flights. He's from another country and we were just planning to stay on campus for the break.
I'd ordinarily be fine with having my boyfriend meet my family for Thanksgiving. But not with this "thing" that's going on. How would I even explain that? Nothing like it happens in his culture. I don't mean that it's just rare like it is in America, I mean it literally doesn't happen, you'd be a social pariah if you made an arrangement like that public. It's also not like I can pass the other guy off as an older brother or friend when he's shirtless giving my mom massages. And what if he hit on me or my boyfriend? I'm so not okay in a lot of ways with him being there if we visited.
On the other hand I doubt my parents would agree to have him not be there. I already talked to my dad after some of the things my brother told me because I was concerned. My dad basically said, he's part of the family now. If he doesn't see a problem then I figure my mom definitely wouldn't.
The whole thing frustrates me in general. They didn't used to be like this. We were never super close but that was okay with me. They were still like, normal, you know?
But I guess that's neither here nor there as I'm mainly trying to figure out the Thanksgiving thing at present. My boyfriend was with me when she called so I told her I'd "check my plans" and get back to her later. Since he overheard he asked what the plan was and I told him but didn't explain the thing about the guy. Now he doesn't understand why I'm hesitant about going. He says he'd love to meet them and see another part of the country.
Wtf do I do here?
TL;DR My parents offered to pay for me and my boyfriend to visit for Thanksgiving break. It would be his first time meeting them. The problem is they have a triad relationship with a guy who is the "bull" and he lives there with them now. They consider him family. From what my younger brother has told me, it's very awkward. Plus my boyfriend is from a country where this kind of relationship setup is unheard of. I have no idea how to navigate this. He wants to meet my family, but I haven't told him about the other guy. Should I explain it? Is there a way to convince my parents to let Thanksgiving be just us?
The question is - is dad changing into a Superman costume and hiding in the closet while they do it?
Palpek fucked around with this message at 10:08 on Nov 21, 2017
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Nov 21, 2017 10:04
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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It's a wild time, people in their 20s have the world-weary cynicism of the elderly while the middle aged are acting like experimenting college kids.
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Nov 21, 2017 10:23
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- Buzkashi
- Feb 4, 2003
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College Slice
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I can't even conceive of saying something like this to my wife.
The thing that hit me hardest I think is the absolute unmitigated gall someone would have to have to kick a person out of their car and then later ask them why it took them so long to get home.
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Nov 21, 2017 13:12
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- ikanreed
- Sep 25, 2009
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I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.
syq dude, just syq!
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The thing that hit me hardest I think is the absolute unmitigated gall someone would have to have to kick a person out of their car and then later ask them why it took them so long to get home.
The fucker is cheating and projecting hard
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Nov 21, 2017 15:13
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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Dealing with your parents' live-in sex partner is one thing. But if he's making other kids uncomfortable, jeeeez.
Even the guy in Rick and Morty was ridiculously nice and charismatic.
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Nov 21, 2017 15:24
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 26, 2024 14:19
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Nov 20, 2017 23:57
from her shitbag husband.
