/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Maybe ovarian tumors that represent a risk of cancer

# ? Nov 27, 2017 05:36

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# ? May 26, 2024 14:23

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Dienes posted:

OP exercised compulsively after eating to the point of broken bones. She's not at risk of relapse. That's a relapse. The alcoholism analogy is apt. He needs to sever before she kills herself.

It's not like she ran 500 miles until her shins turned into powder. She tripped and broke her arm, which you could do stepping off a curb. The broken bone isn't a symptom of how hard her relapse was. He can break up if he wants, but she's eating normally, the worst thing she did was go for a run the day after Thanksgiving -- that doesn't mean she's going to kill herself.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 05:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Dienes posted:

OP exercised compulsively after eating to the point of broken bones. She's not at risk of relapse. That's a relapse. The alcoholism analogy is apt. He needs to sever before she kills herself.

Yeah she still has an eating disorder. I don't know, in my experience no one ever stops having an eating disorder, it just gets handled in different ways at different times. At that point you are addicted to control over what you eat and that impulse is always going to be there.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 05:37

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Anne Whateley posted:

It's not like she ran 500 miles until her shins turned into powder. She tripped and broke her arm, which you could do stepping off a curb. The broken bone isn't a symptom of how hard her relapse was. He can break up if he wants, but she's eating normally, the worst thing she did was go for a run the day after Thanksgiving -- that doesn't mean she's going to kill herself.

I mean that's sorta if you trust the alcoholic saying "I only had a beer or two I dunno how I got so drunk and totaled my car". What we objectively know is she was told by her doctors to not engage in those behaviors that were part of an ongoing issue she had, she did anyways, and got hurt.

Dude obviously should not have booted out of her car on their way home from the hospital, no arguments there it was a garbage thing to do and she should break up and continue to get help for her compulsive behavior on her own, but realistically he should have dropped her off at home and said "I can't handle this anymore, goodbye".

# ? Nov 27, 2017 05:43

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Anne Whateley posted:

It's not like she ran 500 miles until her shins turned into powder. She tripped and broke her arm, which you could do stepping off a curb. The broken bone isn't a symptom of how hard her relapse was. He can break up if he wants, but she's eating normally, the worst thing she did was go for a run the day after Thanksgiving -- that doesn't mean she's going to kill herself.

Eating disorders aren't just about eating, though. They can manifest via obsessive control over weight through other means, primarily exercise if not restricting intake or purging, from what I understand. If her disorder manifests through obsessive exercise, then even if she's eating normally now, which is a good thing, when her response to overeating is to overdo exercise afterwards, that's a cause for concern. It's probable she just tripped, but given her history I can see why he's so worried and upset, and one of the problems with addiction is that addicts can have a hard time gauging the severity of what they're doing related to their addiction.

However, it's not like yelling at her and kicking her out of the car is going to help. It won't fix her urges and it won't even really make the yeller feel better. It's venting with no purpose. If he can't deal with it, he should have drove her home and then broken up with her. Bad form, ex-boyfriend, no points for him.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 05:44

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Anne Whateley posted:

It's not like she ran 500 miles until her shins turned into powder. She tripped and broke her arm, which you could do stepping off a curb. The broken bone isn't a symptom of how hard her relapse was. He can break up if he wants, but she's eating normally, the worst thing she did was go for a run the day after Thanksgiving -- that doesn't mean she's going to kill herself.

You�re really on a bender about making every story have a good person and a bad person.

They�re both garbage in this case, and both good people in the mystery malady story.

Running was explicitly marked out as part of her ED, and breaking a bone from a simple trip shows how hosed up she still is. That�s not normal. Dude�s garbage for kicking her out, but she�s deliberately going against doctor orders. People don�t have sympathy for diabetics who lose feet, why bother for someone with a strictly analogous situation.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 06:46

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Avenging_Mikon posted:

You�re really on a bender about making every story have a good person and a bad person.

They�re both garbage in this case, and both good people in the mystery malady story.

Running was explicitly marked out as part of her ED, and breaking a bone from a simple trip shows how hosed up she still is. That�s not normal. Dude�s garbage for kicking her out, but she�s deliberately going against doctor orders. People don�t have sympathy for diabetics who lose feet, why bother for someone with a strictly analogous situation.

Diabetes isn't a compulsive disorder. It's a bit different but she shouldn't be brushing it off.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 06:48

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

The tale of the fox and the scorpion:

My [29F] husband [30M] is addicted to porn. He watched porn on his phone while I gave birth and I'm done with it.

quote:

u/husbandpornaddict
What the title says. Typing this on my phone, also have been on pain meds so I hope this comes out right. We've been married 2 years together for 4. I just had a baby, on Thanksgiving actually. It's our first child, a daughter. She and I are both doing well and will be leaving the hospital tomorrow.

The day I went into labor he drove me to the hospital. I got set up in the maternity ward, my doctor was there, and I had my epidural for contraction pain. Everything was kind of overwhelming and I was in pain until that then after when I relaxed I noticed my husband was sitting off to the side of the room absorbed in his phone. I immediately had a suspicion what he was doing. I couldn't call him out, because I would be so embarrassed in front of the doctors. They asked at a few points if he wanted to watch this or that procedure or suggest he hold my hand, something to involve him. They said if he was squeamish he could sit in the waiting room. It wasn't that, it was that he was plain loving uninterested. When it got dark I could SEE the reflection of his phone in the window behind him. I know he was watching porn. I guess giving birth to his child just isn't as riveting as tits on a screen. I'm sure the doctors saw it too, I'm just mortified.

What can I possibly do at this point? Porn has always been a problem in our relationship, it's THE problem, if he controlled himself I can't think of any other ongoing problem we'd have. But it's always an issue and I never managed to put my foot down as much as I should have. I personally think his porn use has reached addiction levels. He's lost a job for browsing it at work. He acts irritable if I interrupt him or dare to suggest he get off the PC. He needs porn during sex...PORN during SEX, he can't even do the real thing without having the fake thing in front of him.

There's been a dozen false promises and hopes that maybe he's finally cut back on the porn for good but that streak always ends after a couple weeks at most. Then he's back to 5+ hours of porn a day. He doesn't even jerk off most of the time! He pulls up porn the way other people pull up netflix whenever he's bored. He can sit for hours straight flicking through pictures of fetish models or bare asses. For other examples he's opened up porn while standing in the checkout line, while sitting in traffic, and in bed next to me at 5 in the morning.

I'm so sick of his constant need for porn. It's so embarrassing and I just feel like he doesn't respect me. He must be the only father who's done that during their child's birth. I cannot imagine ever admitting this to my daughter. Imagine learning your dad barely talked to or even looked at your mom when she was giving birth to you, because he preferred to watch porn on silent. When she was out and the doctor let us hold her he took her for like 5 seconds, passed her back to me saying "don't you need to feed her?" That was his excuse to go sit down again. I'm unspeakably mad remembering this.

How do I put up with this? I almost want to say I want a divorce. I said this once before, and I thought that was the come to Jesus talk he needed, that was actually the talk where we agreed to start trying for a child because having a family would bring us closer together. He promised me he was ready to work on himself and be a dad. And now here's how that turned out.

I'm tired and I've ranted enough. Sorry, and thank you if you read this far. Is there any way to salvage something like this?

Tl;dr my husband watched porn in the delivery room as I was giving birth to our daughter. His porn addiction stretches through our entire relationship. He knows he has a problem, as he sometimes promises to quit watching porn, but always relapses. Am I naive to still hope for anything? If it's not a lost cause what options are left?

# ? Nov 27, 2017 09:56

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Exchange the word porn for alcohol and then see how you like the sentences you wrote. People have real problems seeing addiction for what it is when it's not something they're used to hearing about. The guy was given chances, he doesn't want to change, divorce an addict for the sake of your child.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 10:50

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

I was trying to find one that wasn't completely depressing, so let's get into an argument about designer purses!

I [33M] stopped my wife [34F] from buying a $1700 purse this weekend as her 10th anniversary gift - I kind of feel bad now and looking for a way to salvage this mess

quote:

Our 10 year anniversary is coming up and my wife is usually pretty straightforward with the gifts she wants. Lately she's been talking about getting a "fancy" purse. I don't recall her mentioning the brand, and she certainly didn't disclose how much this purse would cost, but since she likes purses I entertained the idea of her getting it as her anniversary gift. Keep in mind we are not a fancy couple: we drive a minivan and a 10 year old Subaru Outback. I work in the tech industry and make pretty good money and she is a SAHM. Generally any gifts fall within the $50-200 range. In my mind I'm thinking that a fancy purse is $300 or maybe $500 tops.

We were in a different city this past weekend on vacation and we took a stroll through the mall, and lo and behold we happened upon the very store that sells the purse she wants (Louis Vuitton). She goes in while I wait outside with the kids. It's taking awhile so I go and check on her, just as the sales associate was quoting a price of $1700. Hearing that, my eyeballs just about popped out of their sockets, and I thought that it was maybe a higher end purse and she would buy something on the lower end. I go back outside because the kids need to be watched.

Maybe about 15 minutes later she comes out and says she's going to buy it. Her dad had given her some money as a gift (about $1000) and she was going to use all of that, with the rest coming from our collective pocket. I started to go into the "I don't think this is a good idea" mode, mostly out of shock at the price of the item and the suddenness of it all (plus, loving $1700 for a purse, an "entry level" one at that?). She starts to tear up and said that was that while I am a good provider, I don't ever buy her anything nice.

If we define nice as items that cost $500 or more, then yes aside from her iPhone and MacBook Air I haven't given her anything nice since we've been married (not counting the engagement and wedding rings). This struck a chord with me as it's basically true - she does care for the kids and has given up her career so far to raise them, so now I'm thinking that I was being a jerk and I need to make this up to her. I don't like the idea of a $1700 purse, but perhaps I need to bite the bullet on this one. I know I've screwed up to some degree, I just have to figure out a way to make this work.

tl;dr: Wife wanted a fancy purse for her anniversary gift, proceeded to buy it when we happened to go to the store during a trip to Vancouver, I balked at the $1700 price tag and basically stopped her from buying it. Now I kind of feel bad and I'm looking for a way to salvage our 10th anniversary.

The comments are mixed.

I'm... on the fence. I feel that $1700 could go to something much nicer/better than a handbag, on the other hand, 10th anniversary and she's willing to front $1000 toward it.

But nearly 2K for a purse has me :psyduck:

. I know LV is high-end/couture, but I also don't see the appeal of blowing so much money on a 'status symbol' to carry around my keys, wallet and chewing gum. Maybe I just don't get the whole 'likes purses' thing. I generally just carry around a canvas messenger bag type purse.

E: also, I'm wondering about financial means, given she's a SAHM/how many kids they have.

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Nov 27, 2017

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:00

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My [26F) morbidly obese boyfriend [32M] is upset because I don't want a wedding at his weight

quote:

I met him online, fell in love online and only realised how big he was when we met. I felt deceived and only stayed because I couldn't change my flight. But in those two days, I understood exactly why he had omitted it because in truth, I would never had gotten to know the real him had he just accurately represented himself. I forgave him and we moved on.

We are madly in love, that's not in question. I want to marry him too. I want him healthy so we can live a long life together and he is working very hard on that too. The problem is that he wants to marry by Summer 2018 and I want to wait until gastric bypass which is probably in November next year.

I haven't told him this but the reason I want to wait is because I am embarrassed. When I think about that wedding, I just cringe. Him having to sit as I walk down the aisle. Him out of breath when reciting the vows. The guests snickering as he waddles out of the Church. Me desperately wanting to move faster and him unable to. The wedding photos immortalising us this way. I go out and have PDA with him all the time, despite the weird reactions around us. I usually don't care but on that one day I do care about the optics.

The other thing is that I havent introduced him to my dad. My father is not only a doctor but a strictly disciplined man. He would never respect my bf at this weight. And while I know that my dad is an rear end in a top hat, he is also my dad and I love him more than anything. I need his approval for such a major life choice.

So my solution is to wait until the weight is under some semblance of control. He will have a gastric bypass surgery end of next year if he is able to stabilise some of his health conditions by then. He had told me he wants to marry before then because he wants me to have all the benefits of being a wife regarding his estate in case something goes wrong. So I did some research on the ways around that like giving me power of attorney and doing a will in my favor.

But when I told him yesterday he added that he needs the psychological victory of knowing he did at least one thing right and the emotional security of knowing I'll still be there when he wakes up. Those last two things may not be rational but I understand them. It's not easy for him to be so close to death right when he is finally happy and know that he brought it on himself.

I can't tell him my real reasons when he is so fragile and insecure right now. I'm considering having a secret civil union as a compromise but I don't know how to explain the why part. I can't say that it's a money thing. He has enough to give me a dream wedding. What would you do?

Tldr: Love my guy, want to marry him but embarrassed and can't tell him. He wants to marry before the surgery that would ease my embarrassment. How do I talk him into a civil marriage or into waiting?

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:19

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

I�m eagerly awaiting all the posts calling this girl a scumbag for fatshaming him

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:24

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

^^here ya go!

If you're having sex with him, calling him your boyfriend, and ostensibly want to spend the rest of your life together, you don't get to say they're not hot enough to be seen with you in public. Either buckle up (lol), or stop lying to yourself and him and break up. This is completely separate having reservations about "is he ready for adulthood & marriage" // "am I ready to commit to this". Being ashamed of your partner is fine (well, it isn't, but it doesn't make you a bad person), but thinking they're not attractive enough to be publicly associated with you (but yer fine banging&dating them long-term on the side) makes you a shitheel.

He's fat, but she's petty and cruel.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:35

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

I dont want to be seen with fat girls either

That is why i only secretly pork them on Tinder ( I invite them home to my place instead of out in public)

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:37

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

In case it isn't clear: Being fat is shameful

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:39

abigserve: Sep 13, 2009; this is a better avatar than what I had before

LadyPictureShow posted:

I was trying to find one that wasn't completely depressing, so let's get into an argument about designer purses!

I [33M] stopped my wife [34F] from buying a $1700 purse this weekend as her 10th anniversary gift - I kind of feel bad now and looking for a way to salvage this mess

The comments are mixed.

I'm... on the fence. I feel that $1700 could go to something much nicer/better than a handbag, on the other hand, 10th anniversary and she's willing to front $1000 toward it.

But nearly 2K for a purse has me . I know LV is high-end/couture, but I also don't see the appeal of blowing so much money on a 'status symbol' to carry around my keys, wallet and chewing gum. Maybe I just don't get the whole 'likes purses' thing. I generally just carry around a canvas messenger bag type purse.

E: also, I'm wondering about financial means, given she's a SAHM/how many kids they have.

expensive clothing items I give a pass because unlike other luxury bullshit at least you're getting solid use out of them and they are generally of higher quality (aesthetic or otherwise) than cheaper stuff. For a 10th anniversary gift it's pretty spot on so it sounds like he's being cheap.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:50

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

Palpek posted:

My [26F) morbidly obese boyfriend [32M] is upset because I don't want a wedding at his weight

I'm trying to imagine how cool this guy must be to shrug off that bad initial impression like that.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:51

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

LadyPictureShow posted:

I was trying to find one that wasn't completely depressing, so let's get into an argument about designer purses!

I [33M] stopped my wife [34F] from buying a $1700 purse this weekend as her 10th anniversary gift - I kind of feel bad now and looking for a way to salvage this mess

The comments are mixed.

I'm... on the fence. I feel that $1700 could go to something much nicer/better than a handbag, on the other hand, 10th anniversary and she's willing to front $1000 toward it.

But nearly 2K for a purse has me . I know LV is high-end/couture, but I also don't see the appeal of blowing so much money on a 'status symbol' to carry around my keys, wallet and chewing gum. Maybe I just don't get the whole 'likes purses' thing. I generally just carry around a canvas messenger bag type purse.

E: also, I'm wondering about financial means, given she's a SAHM/how many kids they have.

Like any high end overpriced item, it's far less about the utility of the item than it is the satisfaction, confidence, and status (real or imagined) that it gives you. You're buying a feeling, and as silly as you might think it is, that feeling is very real to some people. If my partner wanted a $1,700 anything, I'd ask them to sleep on it. But if they still wanted the item after thinking about it for a while, and feel that owning it would bring them more happiness than $1,700 spent in some other way, we could afford it, it's an uncommon purchase, etc then totally go for it.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:53

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Maybe it's like with that youtube guy

He somehow found a girl despite looking like a lard golem. Then he got gastric surgery

# ? Nov 27, 2017 11:55

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Jim Barris posted:

I'm trying to imagine how desperate this girl must be to ignore that bad initial impression like that.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 12:21

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Jim Barris posted:

I'm trying to imagine how cool this guy must be to shrug off that bad initial impression like that.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 12:28

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Jim Barris posted:

I'm trying to imagine how cool this guy must be to shrug off that bad initial impression like that.

Actually real answer is here:

quote:

We were chatting for almost two years. I had been working in Liberia and then Tanzania for WHO and actually dating a colleague for most of that time. He was just my online friend who was my daily link back home. We spoke every day but either on email or texts or phone calls. Not so much Skype. I didnt realise my feelings until probably 18 months of close friendship.

As for the how, he and I have had many discussions about this. The few pics I got were usually neck up selfies, not that I even noticed that until he told me. Face was chubby so I thought he might be overweight but in the average way. And frankly, I was in loving Liberia in the middle of an Ebola outbreak and losing my mind from being so powerless. I just didnt have the time or mental space to scrutinise selfie angles. We didn't start skyping until I returned to the States. I already mentally knew he was chubby and the way he would place his laptop, I couldn't see just how bad it was. It wouldn't have mattered at that point anyway, I was already head over heels. I flew to see him about a month after I got back and thats when I discovered the full extent.

And to the catfish folks; we didn't meet on a dating site. He spends most of his life by himself working on his computer, he was just looking for an online friend to chat with during the all nighters. I was perfect because my time zone back then had me awake at just the perfect hours. Besides I had a boyfriend back then too. He says he didn't let on about his weight because people constantly judge him on it and like any normal human being it's hard for him to constantly expose himself to that pain and shame. I both believe him and understand. I forgave that part ages ago.

quote:

He is doing a lot. He ended up this way thanks to an extremely abusive childhood and for most of his life he actually wanted to die which is why he let his weight get so bad. He started seeing a weight specialist after we met while I was still overseas. He clearly does want to change. Without going into it, he has had some successes and some relapses on the treatment plan. All relapses are linked to the abuse stuff since he had began to address what happened to him with the people who did it. He has a great psychologist helping with that part too. Honestly, this is the first time he has had a support system of any kind. His folks gave him money but a poo poo tonne of psychological and physical scars. And his social circle growing up mostly consisted of private school brats who are now only obsessed with competing over superficial crap. This just isn't a battle you can fight without an ounce of emotional support. We'll get there.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 12:38

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Well that's a no-win right there.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 12:42

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

It sounds like they're actually both doing the right thing and she just needed a sounding board to work out her guilt.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 12:44

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

I think people have a right to be both physically and emotionally attracted to their partner, and to want them to be healthy and able.

If it�s an option of severing and being done, or giving it a shot and hopefully being a positive force in someone�s life to end their self-abuse, then why not try. It�s a delicate balance and generally going into a relationship wanting to �fix� someone is a bad idea and could very well crash and burn, but if you legitimately think you can then loving do it.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 13:02

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

The only issues seems to be that he wants to have a formal marriage so he has a confidence boost before going under the knife, and she seems to know that that's not a good idea because her side of the family isn't going to be respectful. I think she tells him as much and that they'll do a private, intimate civil union with key people before the surgery it's a fair compromise for everyone.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 13:05

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Avenging_Mikon posted:

You�re really on a bender about making every story have a good person and a bad person.

They�re both garbage in this case, and both good people in the mystery malady story.

That's a bizarre take since I said nothing negative about the boyfriend or his actions, literally the only thing I said about him was he can break up if he wants.

Likewise in the mystery malady story, I wasn't like "this person is trash murder him," I just said his behavior (being super angry with her for being sick) wasn't okay; it's okay to be angry at the situation but not okay to take it out on her.

quote:

breaking a bone from a simple trip shows how hosed up she still is.

This is the part I disagree with, you can break a bone crossing your living room. It's not a sign God is punishing you for being a bad person and a fuckup, it's just bad luck.

quote:

People don�t have sympathy for diabetics who lose feet

uhhh this is a you thing, dude

# ? Nov 27, 2017 13:46

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

Anne Whateley posted:

uhhh this is a you thing, dude

# ? Nov 27, 2017 14:05

Hats Wouldnt Fly: Feb 9, 2010; .
Redfont is my hero.

Anne Whateley posted:

This is the part I disagree with, you can break a bone crossing your living room. It's not a sign God is punishing you for being a bad person and a fuckup, it's just bad luck.

Severe eating disorders can lead to loss of bone density, and if you've got brittle bones a doctor might suggest not running until that poo poo's under control.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 14:17

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I (33M) met a smart, attractive woman (26F) at a gas station and am wondering whether my efforts to inspire trust by sharing a like personal info might instead come off as strange or desperate.

quote:

At a gas station late one cold evening nearly two weeks ago, I encountered a strikingly beautiful 26-year-old woman at the pump on the back/front side of mine. I said something to the effect of, �Excuse me, miss. I realize this is entirely random (and hopefully not unwelcome), but I think you are drop-dead gorgeous and am wondering whether you�d be up for grabbing coffee or maybe a bite to eat sometime in the near future.� She blushed, smiled ear to ear, and offered her number. Shortly after, she left town to visit family for Thanksgiving, and we�ve since been texting here and there to set something up. Now that she�s back in town, we�ve finally arranged to meet in a few days.

Having never lost sight of the fact that she met me at a gas station late at night, I gave her my full name and offered to send her a photo of myself that she could share with a friend, since I�m literally some guy she met on the street. (We�ve made jest of this so far.) But was that weird of me? She hasn�t responded yet (she goes to bed fairly early from what I gather), but I wonder whether my behavior comes off as a bit paranoid or desperate, when really what I�m attempting to do is inspire trust and comfort.

TL;DR - Met a pretty girl at a gas station and have offered to send her info by which I could be identified if things went awry. Is this weird?

quote:

I�ve been watching Mindhunter if that helps. This world contains some scary people.

Hello stranger, I am not a dangerous serial killer, there's nothing you need to be afraid off.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 14:24

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

*Bleep bleep blop* I am not a robot. I share personal information. Do you like me already, human female, one.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 14:41

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

I actually think that's not the worst or weirdest thing in the world. He's right, he's a total rando she met on the street. It's gonna suck for him though if something awful happens to her and he accidentally made himself a prime suspect.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 14:49

dog nougat: Apr 8, 2009

That behavior totally comes off as paranoid and desperate duder. Yeah she's a random you met at a gas station, but you've been in contact with her already, so she probably wasn't totally skeeved out by you. Sending poo poo like that is def weird as hell, it makes you look desperate for approval from what is basically a stranger. She already agreed to some modicum of contact with you to "test the waters", there's no need to provide proof you're not some murdering nutcase. In this case, this probably had the exact opposite desired effect.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 15:26

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Dating guide: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8H1RjjoGKs

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:30

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

If you're ashamed to be seen in public with your romantic partner, you are not in love.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:39

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My husband (31M) and I (30F) are kind of bummed out knowing we'll never have the excitement over new relationships that our younger friends are having. What can we do about this?

quote:

A few good friends to my husband of nine years and myself have recently had a little luck on the dating scene. They're both great younger ladies and I'm really glad that they've finally met some guys that are treating them well and that they all like each other.

I have to admit, part of me is a little jealous. They're both in their mid 20's, and my husband and I are in our early 30's. We've been together for practically forever, married for about nine years, we knew each other since middle school and never really even "dated," it all just kind of naturally progressed until we got older and got married.

That kind of excitement out of a new relationship and excitement for the unknown is something that my husband and I never really got to experience. Now that we've been married around ten years now, I think it's difficult to accept that we'll never have those experiences our younger friends are having right now. We'll never know what it's really like to fall in love, will never know what a one night stand is like, will never know what it's like to get to know someone else, will never know any of those associated things.

It's silly to be jealous over this, but it's something that is nagging in my mind. I talked with my husband and while he doesn't feel nearly as strongly about it, he mentioned he somewhat felt the same way.

Should we feel this way? How can we stop feeling like that? How can we share that same kind of excitement with each other that our friends are?

tl;dr: Some younger friends are finally having some luck dating and it's made my husband and I melancholy for that kind of excitement that we never really had and never will have. How can we stop feeling like this and what can we do to share that feeling?

Lol, she totally wants to hear that she should open the marriage over ideas that her husband only partially agreed with. Yes, please wreck your relationship because grass seems greener.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:40

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Palpek posted:

My husband (31M) and I (30F) are kind of bummed out knowing we'll never have the excitement over new relationships that our younger friends are having. What can we do about this?

Lol, she totally wants to hear that she should open the marriage over ideas that her husband only partially agreed with. Yes, please wreck your relationship because grass seems greener.

I kinda get this, I started dating my wife when I was 23 and we got married 8 years later. Never got to date around like others. It's very possible to be regretful that you never had that experience while not wanting to change the ultimate outcome.

Nb: this does NOT make an open relationship the answer.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:43

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Palpek posted:

My husband (31M) and I (30F) are kind of bummed out knowing we'll never have the excitement over new relationships that our younger friends are having. What can we do about this?

If you dont have kids and long to feel the excitment that is desparately hoping this random person who will talk to you is the person with whom youll fight off the terrifying lonliness of existence together you can just divorce.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:48

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Barudak posted:

If you dont have kids and long to feel the excitment that is desparately hoping this random person who will talk to you is the person with whom youll fight off the terrifying lonliness of existence together you can just divorce.

Also if you have kids.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:57

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# ? May 26, 2024 14:23

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Reddit delivers:

quote:

You don�t know the twists life might bring to you. One of you might be widowed with decades of life left, and get to enjoy all the pleasures of adult dating at that point.

# ? Nov 27, 2017 16:59

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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