Aesop Poprock posted:

When my one cat was really old like 6 years ago she would eat everything. She ate potato chips when I was watching a movie with my mom out of a bowl and we were dying laughing as she crunched them and later she was eating bubbling hot spaghettios out of a pan on the stove that were meant for a child. The child was me in my 20s and i was pissed

Yestermoment posted:

If you want to bust a nut, read oglaf. If you want to point it out to people/share on facebook, read oatmeal.
If you are a sperg and feel like you're communicating with someone with a PhD, read XKCD. If you're into a complete miscarriage in humor, read CAD.

toanoradian posted:

UK has some excellent titles for their government jobs. I know of terms like Shadow Cabinet, Law Lords, Lords Temporal, Shadow Lord Exchequer, and now I can add First Sea Lord to my list.

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

There's an official position in the British government called the Shadow Minister of Tooting.

Tooting is a borough in London, and the Shadow Minister is the member of the opposition standing for a given seat. Thus, the Shadow Minister of Tooting is the guy who lost the Tooting Seat but desperately wants to be in charge of Tooting.

quote:

The BBC comedy series Citizen Smith (1977-80) was set in Tooting and popularised the cry “Freedom for Tooting!”. The lead character in the series, Wolfie Smith (Robert Lindsay), was the founder of a fictional revolutionary socialist political organization, the Tooting Popular Front.

Tiggum posted:

Shadow positions are, by definition, not part of the government and there is no Minister of Tooting. Ministers are the heads of government departments or sections of departments. There's a Member of Parliament for Tooting who currently happens to be the Minister for Sport, but you don't combine the titles like that. And Shadow Ministers aren't the people who lost, but are Members of Parliament from the opposition party who have been assigned to shadow the various ministers.

Captain Rehab posted:

In Australia, the Shadow Minister for Justice is from the electorate of Batman.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Are you joking? I honestly can't tell.

Gluten Freeman posted:

He's my MP, lol. There's actually a campaign to change the name from Batman to something else.

Because the man it's named after, John Batman, participated in the genocide of indigenous Australians in Tasmania and the disowning of their land in Victoria

sebmojo posted:

he's not the hero they want

Say Nothing posted:

`Nemesis posted:

Jesus took the wheel, unfortunately he had been drinking wine all day

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Jesus built my hotrod.

Solice Kirsk posted:

It pains me to my core to say this, but it seems like a time where less Ministry would have been the solution.

Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

Odd how they put this on the back as an excuse instead of on the front as a warning.

nael posted:

`Nemesis posted:

Jesus took the wheel, unfortunately he had been drinking wine all day

His blood is naturally between 12 and 20 percent alcohol.

Ehud posted:

https://twitter.com/brdispatch/status/935189185367035904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

I strive to be an elite husband 

LeeMajors posted:

If only he were an Elite Mandatory Reporter

quote:

are there any health hazards to eating a microsd card
if you keep eating memory cards you’ll get fat32
That’s not the worst there’s also the risk of getting exFAT.
Just don’t eat them RAW

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

I seem to have been summoned

Powaqoatse posted:

Went and dug up a bunch of old quote threads. The early PYF ones are often pretty anemic, I guess they fell off page 1 during the gold rush (PYF was created in november 2005) and never got contributed much to.

pre:

(in the goldmine, not sure if there are more in there)
2003.01.15	2003.01.28	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=372479
(in PYF)
2005.12.02	2005.12.05	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1738536
2005.11.28	2005.12.06	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1734134
2006.01.20	2006.01.24	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1778640
2006.02.28	2006.02.28	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1812924
2007.03.15	2009.12.09	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2378183
2009.12.09	2010.10.19	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3238826
2010.12.14	2013.03.05	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3373573
2013.03.12	2013.10.25	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3538112
2014.01.04	2014.09.02	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3599972
2014.09.02	2015.01.15	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3662147
2015.01.16	2015.10.31	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3695000
2015.10.31	current	https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3749412

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

I seem to have been summoned

Priapus Unbound posted:

RE: The teenager brains being affected by phones thing, this graphic is from a larger article that is worth reading if you have the time. I'm a high school teacher and I can say this article definitely struck a chord with me because I had witnessed many of the patterns like reduced sleep and increased loneliness among my students. I've been pulling kids out of my classroom to do emotional check-ins far more this year than I can ever remember in the past.

ozmunkeh posted:

I mean, it's a fairly compelling hypothesis.

Peanut Butler posted:

Q: Why did the chicken- a domesticated animal, whose evolution and persistence as a species is propagated by its masters, a cruel joke of success through failure and pain and so on and so forth, emblematic of the common person whose desires to live and persist serve those who benefit more from their existence than the self- why did this chicken decide to embark on the crossing of a simple country road?

A: In this crossing, this chicken is fulfilling an imperative of exploration, but exploration in a misguided and false sense, like a man exploring ideology heedless of the fact that such exploration is not discovery,but rather a rote role laid out by the Great Other. This domestic food animal, much like the human who wanders from book to book, is moving forward in the only manner available to it, to attain something of a breakthrough or perspective on the road from the other side of it. In this crossing, this ideological journey, the chicken finds comfort and so on; but no conclusion save that of death, as we all shall one day experience.

--Streetjoke Žižek

Peanut Butler posted:

A Republican, a Democrat, and a so-named Independent enter the local neighborhood bar. For the purposes of joke, their respective ideological commitment is complete- they are the ideal, perhaps in the antiquated Platonian sense, if I am to sink to the primitive antecedent, as theoretical beings that cannot exist or eat or love and so on and so forth. In this commitment, the three men draw false distinctions based upon their nearly identical beliefs, seemingly only aware of differences- this is reflected in their drink order thusly:
The democrat, signalling his commitment to the perceived oppressed, orders a light beer of inexpensive manufacture, for it is made with union labor, and he drinks this substandard beer gladly for this fact. The republican desires to express an admiration of wealth earned through hard work, and seeks to emulate this lifestyle, and so, his drink: two fingers of... some expensive whiskey, I am not familiar with the brands, but you understand this, what I refer to. The independent- ironically named, in an institutional political joke, as this name for the American 'third way' implies a freedom that is not delivered either in personal ideology or the actual fulfillment of mandate given to elected official- this Independent orders a drink concocted from perhaps 15 millilitres of liquor dropped into a light beer- I believe this is referred to as the chaudronnier- he looks at the other two men with this drink and smugly states his self-perceived superiority over the others as they react sourly, thinking they have been beaten.
But no- this illustrates the totalitarianism of false choice in western liberal society, in the representation of acceptable ideological distinction granted by the Powers that Be (in a Lacanian sense). They are told of complete ideological freedom, and yet, the engineers of society have created a situation where deviating from a proscribed course of thought is scorned as stupid at best, and dangerous at worst. In this, all ideas must pass through a filter that reinforces and supports the power structure that, in turn, enforces the filter and its own existence. What of the fourth man, who may order a non-alcoholic fruit punch, or perhaps a sandwich, or in his wildest dreams a litter of baby dogs? The fourth man is notably absent, as are the fifth, sixth, and so on. In this, the illustration is complete, and the joke elicits laughter.

--ibid

Powaqoatse posted:

Btw, anyone remember when someone quoted "ibid" as if it was an author's name in some D&D or GBS 1.0 thread? Years & years ago

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

When I was a kid I caught Lyme disease and my parents couldn't tell what it was or afford to have it diagnosed, so they just tried to convince me all my joints hurt because I was "walking wrong" until I got old enough to pay for medical checkups myself

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

In particular I have a distinct memory of my dad, in a very reasonable tone of voice, explaining at length how incorrect walking leads to hosed up elbows, because 'your knees connect to your whole body'

Powaqoatse posted:

Btw, anyone remember when someone quoted "ibid" as if it was an author's name in some D&D or GBS 1.0 thread? Years & years ago

Powaqoatse posted:

There was definitely a goon who did it & it completely destroyed whatever (bad, as i recall) argument they was making

Twitch posted:

H.P. Lovecraft did a whole story based on that joke, so it's at least that old.

syscall girl posted:

And that man's name was Albid Instein.