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King Vidiot posted:On a related note, I really have to wonder if Jay's seen the Guinea Pig series and what he thinks of it. I haven't watched that poo poo because it's literally simulated snuff porn, but if Jay says it's okay... It's worth watching one to check that box but they're garbage on every level.
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Nov 30, 2017 18:29
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Paladinus posted:If you watched director's cut, it's much better than the theatrical version, which was awful. My brother, who I used to trust, SWEARS by the Director's cut. I loving detested the theatrical cut, it was one of the most incomprehensible things I've ever seen in a cinema. Jesse Eisenberg was also really really bad
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Nov 30, 2017 18:45
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I'm another one who saw only the director's cut of BvS and I thought it was... good. Anecdotally, it seems everyone I know who has a positive opinion of it saw that cut, and people I know who didn't like it saw the theatrical cut. It still very clearly has problems, but I suspect that it got completely butchered when they shortened it.
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Nov 30, 2017 18:52
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Christ there's a longer cut of BvS?
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Nov 30, 2017 19:08
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Sir Lemming posted:It still very clearly has problems, but I suspect that it got completely butchered when they shortened it. I don't know why they bothered to be honest. The theatrical was nearly 3 hours as it was, I doubt adding a few extra minutes would have really effected how many showings a theatre could do a day.
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Nov 30, 2017 19:11
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Monkey Fracas posted:Jay sits there smiling and laughing and looking cute/well groomed but his brain is just a teeming mass of bloody, dirty maggots rattling around in his skull while skittery, dissonant violin music plays why do you think he's smiling and laughing
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Nov 30, 2017 19:19
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Mike just has wholesome images of star treks in his booze-numbed head.
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Nov 30, 2017 19:23
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Where the gently caress are NERD CREW? or is it... Where the gently caress is NERD CREW? Where the gently caress is the NERD CREW? I don't know
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Nov 30, 2017 19:28
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Quantum of Phallus posted:I don't know why they bothered to be honest. The theatrical was nearly 3 hours as it was, I doubt adding a few extra minutes would have really effected how many showings a theatre could do a day. They should have cut everything about Wonder Woman and Doomsday, which is clearly tacked on poo poo pushed by the studio and adds nothing but more confusion to the movie.
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Nov 30, 2017 19:33
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FrankeeFrankFrank posted:Where the gently caress are NERD CREW? they gotta go to wal mart and buy a poo poo load of licensed merchandise or else the set design will be old. like lmao if u think theyre just gonna have civil war style black panther action figure in the bg. u gotta be a fool if u think red haired black widow is on a shelf. no loving way would nerd crew pull that poo poo. they got sponsors to answer to. and theyre probably still waiting in line at wal mart because its that time of year
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Nov 30, 2017 19:33
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Paladinus posted:They should have cut everything about Wonder Woman and Doomsday, which is clearly tacked on poo poo pushed by the studio and adds nothing but more confusion to the movie. Was doomsday the dream stuff with batman in the cowboy outfit? I literally hadn't a clue what was happening there.
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Nov 30, 2017 19:36
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https://twitter.com/broderick/status/936175464686768130
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Nov 30, 2017 19:37
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Lmao that is amazing
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Nov 30, 2017 19:38
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I heard that they took the moustache that was removed from Henry Cavill and put it on Chris Pratt, because they didn’t want to waste those pixels.
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Nov 30, 2017 20:04
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This isn't star wars, videogame, or superhero chat so I apologise: I saw Valerian recently, I remember some posts itt saying the movie wasn't bad or whatever. I have one question: What the gently caress is wrong with you people? That movie was incomprehensibly stupid, some plot point made no sense or led to nowhere, for instance John Goodman alien going "I will kill you Valerian!" and then we never see him for the rest of the movie. The main characters were charisma vacuums that made every scene they were in worse, the main character Valerian is making quips throughout the movie that you would expect from Bruce Willis or Schwarzenegger but delivers them completely deadpan and monotone every time. Cara Delevigne's role was... useless. She's just there to make snooty, sarcastic remarks and dress up in different outfits. There's a part where Valerian puts on the helmet to his super-suit and starts speed running through metal and stone walls and generally seems invincible, it seems like the super suit is important to the story as all the trailers and photos have the main characters in them; Cara doesn't use her super suit once, they just dressed her up in it for no reason. She's even kidnapped with the super suit on and doesn't use it to escape, instead she plays along with the kidnapping alien's plan and dresses up in an alien dress. Rihanna's entire role was pointless, she does a strip tease and then gets fatally hurt off-screen. I was watching the movie with some friends and when she's explaining that she has a fatal wound and dying, me and my friend both exclaimed "...Where?!" She's a loving amorphous blob, we don't even see a wound anywhere she basically pulls a Poochie to return to her home planet. The whole love story angle between Valerian and Cara Delivigne was so awkward and unnatural, I was actually cringing in the beginning when he was asking her to marry him. I kinda liked the main plot about the alien planet being destroyed as a casualty of war, but it seemed like an 1-hour plot out of a 2-hour and 30 minute movie. We started watching the movie with 4 people and 2 of them fell asleep between the half-way point. I remember one of my friends waking up and saying "What the gently caress, this chase scene is like 25 minutes of the movie." referencing the beginning chase scene with Valerian in the virtual city. That movie was a loving trainwreck, Just utter trash. I'd rather see BvS than Valerian again because at least BvS is unintentionally funny.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:04
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a bone to pick posted:This isn't star wars, videogame, or superhero chat so I apologise: I remember that my roommate at the time wanted to see Valerian based off of the trailer before Spiderman Homecoming, and because we both like The Fifth Element, which was directed by the same guy. I remember being really skeptical of the movie because the CGI looked really bad, and the most interesting thing in whole trailer was the orchestral arrangement of Gangsta's Paradise. Then some reviews started coming out, and the did a HitB episode about it, and I managed to convince him to see Atomic Blonde instead. I still feel like I won out in that one, even if Atomic Blonde wasn't that good.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:14
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a bone to pick posted:
yeah that movie was so poorly cast it is ridiculous.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:17
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Is Valerian "young adult" poo poo? The main characters look 15.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:18
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Quantum of Phallus posted:Was doomsday the dream stuff with batman in the cowboy outfit? I literally hadn't a clue what was happening there. Doomsday was the big ugly CGI zombie monster. But dream sequences were also pretty useless.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:21
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Oh yeah lol the lord of the rings cave troll
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Nov 30, 2017 21:23
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Baronjutter posted:Is Valerian "young adult" poo poo? The main characters look 15. it's a stupid IP grab like the ghost in the shell movie was, except your average western nerd is more familiar with anime than french comics we're just going to take this well known property and bolt it to a lovely action adventure movie and hope that's enough to draw in some rubes
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Nov 30, 2017 21:24
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Luc Besson is both a creep and a thief. He had to pay out half a million for literally ripping off the entire plot of Escape from New York Also the characters in Leon are based on his relationship with a 14 year old prostitute while he was in his 30s 
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Nov 30, 2017 21:28
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Baronjutter posted:Is Valerian "young adult" poo poo? The main characters look 15. It is very YA, I knew that going in but thought it would be better than poo poo like The Maze Runner or Twilight. I was wrong. Idk if that main actor really didn't want to be there or something but he should stick to dark, brooding roles because he cannot portray a happy person at all.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:33
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Baronjutter posted:Is Valerian "young adult" poo poo? The main characters look 15. As far as I remember, no, the characters are supposed to be in their 20s. Also : Luc Besson is a hack, read the bandes dessinées instead (the order they were published in the US might not be the same as the original order of publication, just so you know)
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Nov 30, 2017 21:44
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 edit: lol civil war era black panther is in the bg!!!! bring back old gbs fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Nov 30, 2017 |
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Nov 30, 2017 21:46
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I hated that loving movie and I saw it in theaters and posted here about it and I'm still mad as heck.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:51
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Speaking of the french and comics and bad movies, I have the weirdest soft spot for Immortal (or Immortel ad vitam idk what the drat name even is). It has loads of cgi that was already terrible when the movie came out, the plot is nonsense and basically everything about the movie is dumb. Yet I watch it like once every two years. This was my bad movie confession hope u liked it.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:51
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Creamed Cormp posted:Also : Luc Besson is a hack, read the bandes dessinées instead (the order they were published in the US might not be the same as the original order of publication, just so you know) Has Besson made a good movie outside of The Fifth Element? I know he made that stupid Lucy movie, but I literally don't know anything about him otherwise.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:52
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Not gunna lie, my favorite Luc Besson movie is District B13. Look at this loving poster with random-rear end photoshops: 
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Nov 30, 2017 21:54
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SpacePig posted:Has Besson made a good movie outside of The Fifth Element? I know he made that stupid Lucy movie, but I literally don't know anything about him otherwise. Nikita was good. He also wrote Taxi.
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Nov 30, 2017 21:55
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SpacePig posted:Has Besson made a good movie outside of The Fifth Element? I know he made that stupid Lucy movie, but I literally don't know anything about him otherwise. Just lemme fire up IMDB... I guess Léon: The Professional is alright if you can find the theatrical release that doesn't have the weirder scenes (that turns the relationship between matilda and léon from "kinda adoptive dad/mentor/nice uncle" to "pedo lover"), and uh I guess The Big Blue, which I haven't seen but people seem to agree on it being good? The thing with Besson is that he made his better movies at the beginning of his career, then he ran out of ideas just made what was essentially direct-to-video action flicks but on a high budget because of course french politicians are so desperate for any french director to be famous that they will just throw money at him. the posters above me just mentionned B13 and Taxi, which are prime examples of that Creamed Cormp fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Nov 30, 2017 |
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Nov 30, 2017 22:05
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Quantum of Phallus posted:Luc Besson is both a creep and a thief. SpacePig posted:Has Besson made a good movie outside of The Fifth Element? The Fifth Element is a bad moopie. e: The Big Blue is good though. Oldstench fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Nov 30, 2017 |
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Nov 30, 2017 22:20
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Luc Besson has a weird boner for blue alien death scenes.
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Nov 30, 2017 22:23
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a bone to pick posted:Luc Besson has a weird boner for
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Nov 30, 2017 22:27
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I will never take any BvS defender seriously, regardless of the cut they watched, because the movie opens on young Bruce Wayne summoning bats to lift him out of a well. I get it. It's symbolic. It's also mind melting loving retarded, and that's what the movie opens on. You can bring up alllllllllll the other problems with the film, and they're all good things to point out, but when your movie opens with that poo poo I don't know why you'd think it's a movie that's worth defending.
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Dec 1, 2017 00:12
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Shinjobi posted:I will never take any BvS defender seriously, regardless of the cut they watched, because the movie opens on young Bruce Wayne summoning bats to lift him out of a well. sounds borderline experimental
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Dec 1, 2017 00:16
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Milo and POTUS posted:was eagerly awainting the enitre marvel hero-verse to be hanging off of josh brolins limbs impotently trying to beat on him. that's legit what i wanted to see. him just beating their asses. a bone to pick posted:Luc Besson has a weird boner for blue alien death scenes. the blue alien in valerian was so dumb. also that movie was bad. the movie i had in my head based on the initial trailer was so much cooler, the story just felt tiny. oh there's just a group of aliens hiding in some shithole on our station woww. also the director's cut of bvs is still loving bad. Groovelord Neato fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Dec 1, 2017 |
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Dec 1, 2017 00:17
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Shinjobi posted:I will never take any BvS defender seriously, regardless of the cut they watched, because the movie opens on young Bruce Wayne summoning bats to lift him out of a well. It was a dream. Even says so in his voiceover.
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Dec 1, 2017 00:24
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Shinjobi posted:I will never take any BvS defender seriously, regardless of the cut they watched, because the movie opens on young Bruce Wayne summoning bats to lift him out of a well. i can forgive it all, but not the Martha thing. that felt like a gut punch in the theater when I saw it. all the hype and excitement i was feeling evaporated in an instant.(i know, im super gay) it was such stilted dialogue, and even stupider reasoning. if anything that should have been the indicator that clark is a loving alien and will never be one of us. no human could gently caress up speaking that badly.
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Dec 1, 2017 00:34
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Valerian is an 70s comic book not YA fiction.
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Dec 1, 2017 00:34
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