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Grant DaNasty posted:He can't get plastic surgery or see a therapist. So painfully true. As much as I love Artie, I do hate the guy, too.
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Dec 9, 2017 18:53
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It's crazy when you see Artie when he was first showing up on stern and dude was legit a pretty good looking guy. He's turned into such a loving ogre.
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Dec 9, 2017 19:18
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My cousin's husband is currently in hospice dealing the final stages of lung cancer. He's in his mid 40s and has drank himself stupid every day for 25 years and smoked since he was in his teens, not to mention the other drugs and pills he'd do from time to time. He still doesn't look at beat as Artie.
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Dec 9, 2017 19:44
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JB50 posted:At least he dresses his age. Check out hipster Ronnie: I know this is from almost 30 pages ack(ack), but jesus christ. Is he going to be in a Smashmouth video? Grant DaNasty posted:Jesus Christ. I had to google that to make sure it wasn’t a photoshop. A few pages back I made a death prediction, I think it was second quarter of 2019.
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Dec 9, 2017 19:56
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Apparently the cops showed up at Artie's house over a joke he made on Twitter? http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2017/12/artie_langes_joke_goes_awry_police_called_to_home.html#incart_river_mobile_home
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Dec 9, 2017 20:26
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Ant, it's Artie, what's up man. *cough cough* Listen man, I'm not gonna come in today. I can't stop throwing up or making GBS threads. And my face exploded. *cough*
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Dec 9, 2017 21:56
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loving lol @ hipster Ronnie. Why the gently caress did Artie take that picture and then share it? Jesus.
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Dec 9, 2017 22:03
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Is that Ronnie's fiance?
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Dec 9, 2017 23:49
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Squashy Nipples posted:Is that Ronnie's fiance? Not unless he's marrying Mary Carey the porn star. I'm pretty sure it's a different girl, unless that's changed recently.
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Dec 9, 2017 23:52
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haljordan posted:Apparently the cops showed up at Artie's house over a joke he made on Twitter? I don't....understand what he was tweeting or what got the cops involved.
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Dec 10, 2017 00:01
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BiggerBoat posted:I don't....understand what he was tweeting or what got the cops involved. Yeah I'm baffled as well.
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Dec 10, 2017 00:46
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if only the uncaring monster Howard Stern would quit his job and nurse him back to health while simultaneously not being able to tell him to stop doing heroin. Along with all the women in his family who had to do that to no success. He'd be fine then!!!
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Dec 10, 2017 00:49
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BiggerBoat posted:I don't....understand what he was tweeting or what got the cops involved. People called the Hoboken police because of that photo. They probably thought he was dying. You can see it in some of the replies to this https://twitter.com/artiequitter/status/939374338855391232
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Dec 10, 2017 00:50
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drat lol
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Dec 10, 2017 04:32
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not a doctor but i think somethins wrong with his nose
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Dec 10, 2017 04:32
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Skip My Posts posted:not a doctor but i think somethins wrong with his nose don't snort pills boys and girls
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Dec 10, 2017 04:45
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Bonzo posted:don't snort pills, boys, and girls
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Dec 10, 2017 05:02
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I still remember him telling Howard how he never shot it because needles skeeved him out. Turns out snorting it has its drawbacks too i guess
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Dec 10, 2017 05:48
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Can we please  tag that and any future photos of Artie where he looks far too similar to a corpse? Thanks.
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Dec 10, 2017 16:09
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Hey, if Artie is distracting the cops so they don't kill people, he's doing the lord's work.
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Dec 10, 2017 16:17
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Even his nose is too fat to fish
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Dec 10, 2017 19:31
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His new book cover
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Dec 10, 2017 22:02
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His physical appearance is sad, but marketing his book as a "degenerate gambler's guide to living on the edge" is even sadder. This dude still believes in his artificial, leather jacket tough Jersey guy persona. Douche. Chills.
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Dec 10, 2017 22:39
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kylej posted:His physical appearance is sad, but marketing his book as a "degenerate gambler's guide to living on the edge" is even sadder. This dude still believes in his artificial, leather jacket tough Jersey guy persona. Douche. Chills. Yeah, you've ranted about this exact same thing before, but drat if he doesn't just keep on making it worse. Squashy Nipples fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Dec 10, 2017 |
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Dec 10, 2017 22:49
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I guess I take the gross, drug addled body as a constant - it's his bootleg rock star veneer that's still so off-putting. Dice Clay, in 2004, with his triple chin and sausage-like leather gloves came across as a more believable persona than Artie over the past decade.
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Dec 10, 2017 22:54
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I wouldn't want to be the person the publisher asked to airbrush Artie's nose. They must have dug up some old Russian guy who used to alter photos for Stalin.
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Dec 10, 2017 23:09
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Former Human posted:I wouldn't want to be the person the publisher asked to airbrush Artie's nose. They must have dug up some old Russian guy who used to alter photos for Stalin. Best laugh I've had all week. 
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Dec 10, 2017 23:37
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Also the fact that he's actually a horrible gambler.
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Dec 11, 2017 01:56
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I wonder if Artie is going to be invited around talkshows to peddle his book this time. I'd nix any appearance if I was the booking agent.
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Dec 11, 2017 02:00
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haljordan posted:Also the fact that he's actually a horrible gambler. Didn't he finish last in a betting contest against a bunch of wack packers?
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Dec 11, 2017 02:09
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misdirectomy posted:Didn't he finish last in a betting contest against a bunch of wack packers? Yea, but betting the spread in the NFL is absurdly difficult. That situation was no different than when your coworker's daughter picks the NCAAT pool based on uniforms and does better than you. People who bet for a living and are very good at it try to win about 58-62% of the time if I remember correctly, just slightly better than average, because that's how random it all is to bet. I will say this, though: if Artie was remotely as addicted to gambling as any of his other vices, if he was truly lovely at it he'd be destitute by now. KC was an example of a bad gambler and that dude had serious issues with money pretty much his whole time at the show because of it. So your choices are he has that vice under control or he's serviceable enough at it for him to not be living on the street at this point.
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Dec 11, 2017 02:39
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KC was also getting paid like $7 an hour by Tom which didn't help.
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Dec 11, 2017 02:54
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I graduated in 1981. 84. College? And I still went
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Dec 11, 2017 03:08
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Crotch Bat posted:Yea, but betting the spread in the NFL is absurdly difficult. That situation was no different than when your coworker's daughter picks the NCAAT pool based on uniforms and does better than you. Since he knows nothing at all about sports aside from who batted 7th for the Yankees in 1979, Artie is a horrifically bad gambler and Wendy the Retard, Elliot Offen, Crazy Alice and the chicken that beat him in the fantasy football pool clearly had better methods than his at picking winners. Possibly because gambling with the expectation you're going to beat the house that's rigged against you is the first sign you're loving terrible at gambling. The only thing that keeps him from being a devastatingly bad gambler that lost everything making 2017 bets based on the 1986 Giants' strong TE play is his need to save cash to buy heroin. Hi Fred
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Dec 11, 2017 06:06
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How many times in that book do you think he talks about how if you're bored on a Tuesday putting a whole bunch of money on some dumb minor league WNBA game is the fastest way to get excited. He truly is a degenerate!
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Dec 11, 2017 16:02
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Imagine being Artie langes ghostwriter
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Dec 11, 2017 16:04
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BobbyK posted:How many times in that book do you think he talks about how if you're bored on a Tuesday putting a whole bunch of money on some dumb minor league WNBA game is the fastest way to get excited. He truly is a degenerate! Only if you're in St Louis, of course.
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Dec 11, 2017 16:09
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Artie always used to talk about teaser bets which are such sucker bets that even utter morons know not to make them
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Dec 11, 2017 16:21
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haljordan posted:Artie always used to talk about teaser bets which are such sucker bets that even utter morons know not to make them Yup. Crotch Bat posted:Yea, but betting the spread in the NFL is absurdly difficult. So true. Plus, when you bet with a bookie, all the spreads are set so random picking wins less then 50% per game, and most of the mafia tickets I used to play require you to correctly pick THREE games.
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Dec 11, 2017 16:32
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Only if you're in St Louis, of course. But what is the best way to get there?
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Dec 11, 2017 16:48
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