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yeah I eat rear end posted:Confessor spotted. LOL if you think anyone would even date, let alone marry me 
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Dec 20, 2017 16:08
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just lol if you ever do something for someone else without expecting something in return. Scrubs. That's how you stay poor! Dude should get a therapist girlfriend who's microcontrolling every aspect of his life, that'd probably be for the best. Worked well the last time itt!
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Dec 20, 2017 16:08
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Police Automaton posted:just lol if you ever do something for someone else without expecting something in return. Scrubs. That's how you stay poor! RIP therapy goon. Vilerat will listen to his problems without insisting he never talk to the other angels
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Dec 20, 2017 16:10
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It's not about the money. It's about putting your spouse in an uncomfortable and inappropriate position because they are scared to go to anyone else. It's not even remotely the same as fixing someone's car or building them a website. Treating someone with depression and suicidal urges isn't just a "let's have a heart to heart chat for half an hour" thing. Plus you add in the marriage and knowing you personally are responsible for curing your husband and it is an insane amount of pressure that would certainly kill the marriage even more than it already is. Also consider you are only hearing the side of the story from the drunk depressed guy. Chances are the "get your poo poo together" comment didn't come out of nowhere.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:13
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maskenfreiheit posted:Well for one thing, a bathroom, once built exists. We get it. You're a dick who won't do your wife a favor. A real swell guy you are.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:17
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I bet therapy goon's gf found out he was posting about her here and revoked his internet access and he's going along with it because he doesn't want to go back to loving his hand. Seems more likely than her outright murdering him based on everything he said about her.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:23
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Yeah its never exactly as either side makes it out to be. Therapy goon is probably insufferable and I think I side with his therapist wife.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:24
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Uggh, UFO confession bummed me out. Can we get something with anal probes please????
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Dec 20, 2017 16:33
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UFO fleshes are funny but it’s like Aliens would never ever come here for any reason. Like imagine you are on a boat and as you pass by an island, you look through your telescope at a bunch of savages loving each other to death in a mud pit and beating each other to death and poisoning each other and pointing at the sky and screaming. Why would you go there? To teach these things? To learn from them? No, you float past it and wonder if your species was ever that gross.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:45
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maskenfreiheit posted:Well for one thing, a bathroom, once built exists. I don't know about you, but I usually try to get weekly cleanings done in my bathroom. It helps keep things clean.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:49
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Please refer to thread title
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Dec 20, 2017 16:49
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Bust Rodd posted:UFO fleshes are funny but it’s like Aliens would never ever come here for any reason. The only realistic reasons would be to either take our resources/eat us, or to use us as slave labor. The resources thing is pretty unlikely though considering how many planets there are out there with similar enough elemental compositions that don't have a population of savages that will try and blow them up.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:50
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fruit on the bottom posted:Uggh, UFO confession bummed me out. Can we get something with anal probes please???? nice av/post combo
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Dec 20, 2017 16:55
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maskenfreiheit posted:Well for one thing, a bathroom, once built exists.  at this whole post but whats a mfa girlfriend
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Dec 20, 2017 16:56
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I'd rather go with Roadside Picnic which has one of the side characters going over his theory about why the anomallys exist. Said theory comparison uses a picnic, widlife (humanity), and the trash (the anomallies) from the picnic that's left behind.
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Dec 20, 2017 16:56
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Harry Potter on Ice posted:
multifactor authentication i think But poo poo, I think running away to south america is a drat good idea myself.
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Dec 20, 2017 17:03
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The only realistic reasons would be to either take our resources/eat us, or to use us as slave labor. The resources thing is pretty unlikely though considering how many planets there are out there with similar enough elemental compositions that don't have a population of savages that will try and blow them up. And we’re not a better source of ANY protein than dumber animals we already farm and beyond that what super advanced race has FTL travel but don’t have robots to do bullshit? It’s literally more likely that aliens show up and steal cows from us to eat them because hamburgers are universally appreciated than it is conceivable that our race would matter ona. Cosmic scale
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Dec 20, 2017 17:14
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Harry Potter on Ice posted:
Master in fine arts
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Dec 20, 2017 17:15
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You realistically have two scenarios where aliens visit earth 1) Post-scarcity hyper advanced explorers who passively study us just for something to do. 2) A generation ship or orbiting probe that arrives expecting an empty world to colonize/study. Thinking they wouldn't come to observe us just because we're violent low-tech assholes is pretty silly. There are dozens of uncontacted tribes of humans on earth still that scientists do their best to passively study. I really like the "leftover from an ancient advanced civilization" hypothesis, though. The roomba smearing cat poo poo simile really speaks to me.
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Dec 20, 2017 17:28
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Triangle Shirt Factotum posted:That is a really weird limit to set. Like, yeah, I've rebuilt bathrooms and closets for my wife to use, I'm not sure why it'd even be a thing. How messy was your wife's poo poo? You had to rebuild multiple bathrooms?
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Dec 20, 2017 17:32
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got any sevens posted:How messy was your wife's poo poo? You had to rebuild multiple bathrooms? Over the course of a couple of moves. Wife likes redoing bathrooms with white subway tile and I did home-building stuff for my grandfather's company as a kid during summers. Thinking I'll probably do a herringbone arrangement next time, it is kinda annoying to get it started right, but it looks nice when you finish it. The Dipshit fucked around with this message at 17:47 on Dec 20, 2017 |
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Dec 20, 2017 17:42
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Bust Rodd posted:UFO fleshes are funny but it’s like Aliens would never ever come here for any reason. You kidnap one and give him a prostate massage before releasing him back into the wild. We only get the alien visitors who are really, really into buttstuff.
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Dec 20, 2017 17:56
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Where the gently caress in that fesh are you getting that the confessor is using his wife for free therapy sessions? All it says is ‘when I tell her I’m feeling bummed she yells at me’. There’s a lot of projecting and assuming going on in the last page and a half here. Awaiting an update from the Goon who is crushing on someone’s wife. Though with the lack of updates I’m guessing he either chickened out or it went as well as people would expect. Or maybe he’s been loving her ever since?
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Dec 20, 2017 18:22
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facebook jihad posted:Where the gently caress in that fesh are you getting that the confessor is using his wife for free therapy sessions? All it says is ‘when I tell her I’m feeling bummed she yells at me’. There’s a lot of projecting and assuming going on in the last page and a half here. Because he explicitly complains that she isn't treating him like she treats her patients. It's the distinction between telling your doctor spouse "I feel like poo poo today" and "this boil on my rear end is bothering me and some yellow discharge is erupting from my dick, could you take a look at it honey?". also the aforementioned "unreliable/drunk narrator" issue where it's probably safe to read a lot into his words that are crafted to make himself look good. I can speak from experience that when you're drunk and depressed you twist reality to get the most sympathy and make you out to be the victim. There's no way someone would snap and yell that at someone based on a one-off "i've been feeling kind of down lately" conversation.
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Dec 20, 2017 18:30
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Bust Rodd posted:And we’re not a better source of ANY protein than dumber animals we already farm and beyond that what super advanced race has FTL travel but don’t have robots to do bullshit? Still more believable than aliens wanting to enslave and probe us.
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Dec 20, 2017 18:41
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PetraCore posted:I've read a series of books where a side detail in the worldbuilding is that aliens do show up on Earth and abduct people, but only to get chocolate they've got on them, since chocolate is extremely valuable in the wider galactic community and the flavor changes if it's grown and processed off Earth. Alien chocolate smugglers. I think if aliens made it all the way here they’re probably post-scarcity
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Dec 20, 2017 19:17
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maskenfreiheit posted:I think if aliens made it all the way here they’re probably post-scarcity
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Dec 20, 2017 19:41
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Either that, or really, really desperate for some anal probing. They came for two flavors of chocolate
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Dec 20, 2017 20:10
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Either that, or really, really desperate for some anal probing. Well even if you’re post scarcity you can still enjoy some sadism. Maybe they’re the intergalactic Ted Bundies roving around in their antigravity VeeDub
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Dec 20, 2017 20:14
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I think it would be pretty funny if the first alien contact we get is from the absolute worst of their species. Like the rest of the aliens come down and are like, "Ah geez. We're sorry guys. Looks like the weirdo butt probe cult found your planet before we did. We're not really like that. Here's some space penicillin as an apology."
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Dec 20, 2017 21:09
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Solice Kirsk posted:I think it would be pretty funny if the first alien contact we get is from the absolute worst of their species. Like the rest of the aliens come down and are like, "Ah geez. We're sorry guys. Looks like the weirdo butt probe cult found your planet before we did. We're not really like that. Here's some space penicillin as an apology." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeFoGo3N_4g
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Dec 20, 2017 21:48
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Solice Kirsk posted:I think it would be pretty funny if the first alien contact we get is from the absolute worst of their species. Like the rest of the aliens come down and are like, "Ah geez. We're sorry guys. Looks like the weirdo butt probe cult found your planet before we did. We're not really like that. Here's some space penicillin as an apology." “Beaten again! Somehow those anal acquisition assholes always get there first!”
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Dec 20, 2017 21:56
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I think many users make the mistake of assuming that the UFO entities are part of a 'nuts and bolts' technological civilisation that works on the same base as ours does: Hierarchies, material needs which make rational planning necessary. Some of the less insane ufologists (Jaques Vallee might be the most well known) did a lot of data collection and historical research into the ways UFOs and their crews allegedly behave and basically found them acting just in the same cryptic and weird ways that the elves & fairies of myths and folklore or even saintly apparitions behaved. Seeing lots of parallels, Vallee assumes that todays UFOs are just the continuation of really weird extradimensional poo poo that has accompanied humans since our earliest days. Not really nuts and bolts craft crewed by alien space marines (with concrete plans of conquest or material gain), but strange, barely material entities following conflicting agendas that target the human psyche and our cultural development. To what end? Nobody knows. If you want to have a fun and surprisingley well-researched read about ufo fuckery, us black budgets and anything inbetween, you could do worse than this book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20632372-ufos-for-the-21st-century-mind tl-dr: 'Aliens' might be much weirder than we expect them to be - which would at least explain the anal probing / appearing before hillbillies to teach them about world peace / turning into owls /dancing in circles infront of their ufo : They might be much smarter or much dumber than we think. SavageGentleman fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Dec 20, 2017 |
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Dec 20, 2017 22:15
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SavageGentleman posted:tl-dr: 'Aliens' might be much weirder than we expect them to be - which would at least explain the anal probing / appearing before hillbillies to teach them about world peace / turning into owls /dancing in circles infront of their ufo : They might be much smarter or much dumber than we think. I like the idea that aliens and their motivations would be so different from us as to be incomprehensible because it sets the table for understanding/discussion that all of our drives are the product of an evolutionary need that drove the advancement of any particular trait. Exploration, resource gathering, empathy, communication, etc.; these things only exist because we needed them to develop to the point we're at as a species, so like what would a race of sentient crystals want to put up our butts, and why?!
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Dec 20, 2017 22:53
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Solice Kirsk posted:I think it would be pretty funny if the first alien contact we get is from the absolute worst of their species. Like the rest of the aliens come down and are like, "Ah geez. We're sorry guys. Looks like the weirdo butt probe cult found your planet before we did. We're not really like that. Here's some space penicillin as an apology." To start up yet another Stephen King derail: in Under The Dome, the aliens are kids doing the equivalent of burning ants under a magnifying glass
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Dec 20, 2017 23:12
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SavageGentleman posted:I think many users make the mistake of assuming that the UFO entities are part of a 'nuts and bolts' technological civilisation that works on the same base as ours does: Hierarchies, material needs which make rational planning necessary. It's called sleep paralysis. Depending on what's en vogue you're visited by the little people or demons or greys.
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Dec 20, 2017 23:21
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SavageGentleman posted:I think many users make the mistake of assuming that the UFO entities are part of a 'nuts and bolts' technological civilisation that works on the same base as ours does: Hierarchies, material needs which make rational planning necessary. Meh, I respectfully disagree. First off, we still have people believing in things like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. I'd agree that stuff like alien abduction conspiracies falls into what you're describing. But I think there are these, for lack of a better term "tic tacs" that are buzzing us. I think it scares the poo poo out of the government since despite showing no hostility, something that advanced that doesn't interact and we can't intercept is worrysome. Also it's kind of funny they're being described as "tic tacs" since "tic tacing" used to be slang for knocking on people's doors/windows and running away. drat alien drones, get off my lawn!
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Dec 20, 2017 23:31
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syscall girl posted:It's called sleep paralysis. Depending on what's en vogue you're visited by the little people or demons or greys. People hate hearing this answer because it's honestly pretty boring that your weird experience is just stupid brain stuff, but it's true. My mom still swears up and down that a bunch of grays tried breaking into her house when she was younger and described basically every sleep paralysis experience I've ever seen and gets indignant when I tell her that's all it was. You would think people would be comforted by the fact that the malevolent aliens they have been fearing would come back for them aren't real, but instead they get pissed off at you and your fancy book learning.
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Dec 20, 2017 23:34
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One time as a kid i thought i saw an alien in my room, but i wasnt paralized, i got up and it vanished then i looked out the window and a flying lit up triangle flew away real fast
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Dec 20, 2017 23:41
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yeah I eat rear end posted:People hate hearing this answer because it's honestly pretty boring that your weird experience is just stupid brain stuff, but it's true. My mom still swears up and down that a bunch of grays tried breaking into her house when she was younger and described basically every sleep paralysis experience I've ever seen and gets indignant when I tell her that's all it was. You would think people would be comforted by the fact that the malevolent aliens they have been fearing would come back for them aren't real, but instead they get pissed off at you and your fancy book learning. Well it's understandable that people who feel like they had a horrible experience - even if it's not caused by real aliens, but by brain fuckery or misremembered abuse - react angry if you tell them that they all imagined it - it feels real. Psychologists at an American university were actually doing a few studies with abductees to find out how many were consciously telling bs stories to make themselves interesting by measuring their unconscious body signals (sweat, eyes, brain activity among others) when asking them about their experiences. It turns out that many of the participants were somatically reacting like they were suffering from real trauma. So even if the source is not real, the effects are! @ yeah I eat rear end: Maybe buy your mom any of the xcom games so she can get symbolic revenge against the greys? SavageGentleman fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Dec 20, 2017 |
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Dec 20, 2017 23:46
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