Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Jobbo_Fett posted:

The turret isn't offset, the guns are. Big difference.

Indeed. Offsetting a turret isn't as bad of an idea.

Offsetting a gun creates immense momentums on the horizontal drive due to the non centered recoil.

E:armored catte taxe

Combat Theory fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Dec 20, 2017

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:09

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 18:45

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Beet Wagon posted:

Oh, there it is.

Popped "space tank deviantart" into google and had this thrown at me:

No matter which way you slice it is I am super excited for CIG to start selling giant base turrets for your land claims.

Only $80 for a WWII battleship cannon.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:10

Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Nicholas posted:

sandi "i accidentally sang the nazi national anthem" gardiner is staring in a new movie called "a mothers cross"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt7361004/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_3

have fun googling that movie title.

Box Office
Budget:$5,000 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro �

here is a 4 minute trailer for an 8 minute movie: https://vimeo.com/189468252/bdca4886cb

if you look real hard there's a tiny dissapointed crobberts in the background

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:11

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Drunk Theory posted:

Does today count for the sale total guessing contest? I think today should count since they unveiled spacetank.

Who the hell knows.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:12

Golli: Jan 5, 2013

Does the tank go into siege mode, or is that just what they call it when it clips into the ground?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:12

Drunk Theory: Aug 20, 2016; Oven Wrangler

Golli posted:

Does the tank go into siege mode, or is that just what they call it when it clips into the ground?

gently caress...We could have sold it as siege mode for an additional $40

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:13

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:13

Trilobite: Aug 15, 2001

RubberJohnny posted:

https://gfycat.com/DefensiveTotalAfricanporcupine

That's how it begins: with mandatory Botox injections in every Citizen's forehead. From there, it's a quick slide down to deskeletonization and the worst kind of electricity.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:14

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

TheAgent posted:

its okay, in a few years when 99% of them flip and start up with the whole "where are my spaceships, mr roberts??" I think I can swing some of them to donate to worthy causes

you can already see people starting to lose their poo poo over 3.0, it's not going to improve

I also find it hilarious that all of the stuff they are working on, the new interdictions, the graphic improvements to QT and planetary entry, the fixing of bugs with lighting and poo poo that shouldn't even be on their radar is because they need that poo poo for the SQ42 demo/machinima artists

thursday is going to be the best. I'll be sitting at my fav bar with tequila shots lined up ready to shitpost like gently caress

What happens thursday?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:14

Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

here's the facebook page of the director of the new sandi blockbuster

lmao

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:14

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

spacetoaster posted:

What happens thursday?

Holiday stream. Last year Santa brought us a glorious editing disaster. Let's hope he doesn't disappoint.

Noon PST, 3pm EST, 8pm GMT.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:16

Viscous Soda: Apr 24, 2004

Taintrunner posted:

what a lovely fuckin' tank design

Reminds me of the tanks from Tron, but more generic.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:21

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

Sandi does prove that talent matters at least a little bit in hollywood after all. She has every possible advantage except that she's unbearable to watch, and she can't get roles except in the dumpster's dumpster

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:22

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

XK posted:

Holiday stream. Last year Santa brought us a glorious editing disaster. Let's hope he doesn't disappoint.

Noon PST, 3pm EST, 8pm GMT.

My wish is this would be on ESPN the Ocho.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:24

Virtual Captain: Feb 20, 2017; Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.

Not to worry commando. Next patch, or the one after that.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:26

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

What does "warbond" mean and why does it save $10?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:26

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Chris played Star Citizen on a holiday steam, too.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:26

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

SoftNum posted:

What does "warbond" mean and why does it save $10?

Fresh cash, you can't use store credit.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:27

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Virtual Captain posted:

Not to worry commando. Next patch, or the one after that.

They claimed to have fixed this in a patch a week or so ago.

What was the embarrassing issue?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:28

Abuminable: Mar 30, 2017; Now, aside from the Abuminable, business goes on as usual.

Sandi, after receiving word there will be no more limited-edition Mercedes, no more Monaco, no more business class:

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:28

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Taintrunner posted:

here is a 4 minute trailer for an 8 minute movie: https://vimeo.com/189468252/bdca4886cb

I've made better Photoshops of Sandi for this thread than the ones they showcased in that trailer.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:29

Drunk Theory: Aug 20, 2016; Oven Wrangler

SoftNum posted:

What does "warbond" mean and why does it save $10?

New cash only. Save big!

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:29

juggalo baby coffin: Dec 2, 2007; How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?

The Good Doctor was kind enough to furnish me with the opening monologue of his upcoming book on star citizen. I thought I'd share it with you all:

quote:

I live in the legal gray area between legitimate business and a Ponzi scheme.

My name is Chris Roberts. I'm 49 years old.

I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced cocaine intake, and a rigorous mocap routine. In the morning, if my funds are a little low, I'll put on LTI while selling a new jpg. I charge about a thousand now. After I remove the jpg, I put on a sale and sell it again for the same price. In the office, I use a $20,000 coffee machine. Then a pricey space door. And on the face, a bunch of those little mocap beads. Then apply some A list actors, which I make read my terrible script while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use a funding tracker with little or no accuracy, because accuracy scares your whales out and makes you look poorer. Then another 'sale', then a paid-for puff piece, followed by a final paid twitch stream.

There is an idea of a Star Citizen, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real game. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide our lack of money, and you can load up my alpha and feel 5 frames per second, and maybe you can even sense that other real games are probably comparable, it simply is not there.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:32

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

So, between American Satan and getting Cross, is Sandi preparing to escape to a monastery or to have a major break in a religious blockbuster?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:33

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

No they are not selling space tanks now, what in the gently caress

You have actually got to be kidding me

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:33

Abuminable: Mar 30, 2017; Now, aside from the Abuminable, business goes on as usual.

#IStandWithSadSandi

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:34

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

SomethingJones posted:

No they are not selling space tanks now, what in the gently caress

You have actually got to be kidding me

They'll be selling space heaters next.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:34

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

SomethingJones posted:

No they are not selling space tanks now, what in the gently caress

You have actually got to be kidding me

If you read the FAQ you'll see they're not selling space tanks.

They're selling a token you can use to claim a space tank in the near future when the tank system goes live :grin:

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:35

Drunk Theory: Aug 20, 2016; Oven Wrangler

SomethingJones posted:

No they are not selling space tanks now, what in the gently caress

You have actually got to be kidding me

Gotta protect your spaceland somehow my friend.

Given their stellar track record, when 5.0 comes out everyone who buys Spacetank gets a copy of Battlezone

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:36

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Will I be able to spacedrop my space tank onto my space land so I can defeat space land invaders with my space tank on space -moons?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:38

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

Space submarines coming soon.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:38

Strangler 42: Jan 8, 2007; SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT

Star Citizen: Tanks for all the cash, Iceman!

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:38

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:38

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

OH MY GOD THE SQ42 TRAILER IS FULL CRINGE

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:38

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

thatguy posted:

Space submarines coming soon.

When you think about it isn't everything a space submarine?
:thunk:

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:39

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

SomethingJones posted:

OH MY GOD THE SQ42 TRAILER IS FULL CRINGE

I've been informed that it is actually a teaser and therefore you're not allowed to think it looks like something that came out of a cat's rear end in a top hat.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:40

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

A Neurotic Corncob posted:

Please buy a Space Tank everyone

Generic 1970's version of a 'future tank' or a Reliant Robin body shell on tracks with some plastic tube possibly roof guttering on top? Someone could very easily take that pic into photoshop or gimp2, paint the tanks yellow with rust patches, and write "Crobblers independant traders" on the sides and it would be perfect. (I'd normally already have done it, but tired).

So now all other ground vehicles have been made suddenly useless by this. Why buy a really bad all terrian vehicle when you could buy a tank?

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:40

Thoatse: Feb 29, 2016; Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Golli posted:

Does the tank go into siege mode, or is that just what they call it when it clips into the ground?

In SC tanks can hull down so good only the top of the turret can be seen

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:41

Kosumo: Apr 9, 2016

Well I for one, always knew this was going to tank hard (just not like that).

I tried to call it but had the wrong number and ended up with a pineapple pizza instead :colbert:

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:41

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 18:45

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

Soooooo CIG is saving PC gaming by creating (yet another) first person shooter with a single player focus?

EDIT: Why aren't the more sane citizens angry about CIG wasting their money on big name actors for a single player FPS?

SoftNum fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Dec 20, 2017

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:41

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