quote:

Just like the title says, I gave all my nieces and nephews lottery scratch your tickets. It’s kind of been a tradition that I do Since my brothers and sister starting having kids. Everyone seems to like it and invariably every year one or two of the kids will hit something like $100 or maybe even $200. And everyone seems to like it

This year I sent the tickets out a little early and got news back that my nephew hit one of the grand prizes I’m not particular ticket which was about $6000. I’m very happy for him but because of the amount is so much I feel like you should split it with me without even second-guessing it. I talk to my sister, his mom, and basically said that I think 3000 is fair but that if you want to give me more I would be totally happy with that. Well she called me an rear end in a top hat and hung up I tried to call her back she didn’t answer so I texted my nephew and he basically texted back with seriously? And I text him back yeah I’m dead serious I think it’s only fair. And I have not heard back from him

Well if I’ve never felt like the Childless loser that I was expected that they think of me before now, I really do now because all of my brothers or sisters and my mom and dad have piled on to me saying that my expectations are ridiculous and I need to back off.

The thing is, I really could use the money this year so it’s not just me being crazy you’re a dumbass for anything it’s the fact that this man he could really help me get back in the black so to speak. My nephew is going to college being paid for by his Parents so he should be really excited even get like 3000, 2000 or even $1000 would be massive money in his pocket.

How do I get my family to see that I actually really need this money and it would really help me out?

tl;dr: Nephew want some money on the lottery scratch off ticket that I bought for him. I feel like you should split the money with me.

quote:

We gave a male employee who is convinced that we are discriminating against men.

So, I work in a fairly large office. We have access to large restrooms, but they can be a bit of a hike. The office is about 65 or 70% women.

People with disabilities are given the priority spots closest to the door, and then folks with temporary issues are also allowed to request spots. For example, a co-worker who is pregnant is sitting there for a while because she has to pee every 2 minutes. A few people are also placed there because they are on PIPs or other disciplinary issues and need to be more closely managed. Right now, only one person is there for that reason.

The issue: everyone in the "prime" spots is a woman. No men in the office have asked for this accommodation. He believes we are giving women priority access to the restrooms based on gender. Several of the people have not shared their medical issues or status with the staff (for example, the pregnant lady does not want everyone knowing until her pregnancy is further along), one lady had some sort of urinary tract issue.

He keeps bringing it up with me (I am a colleague, I am one of the women with a chronic health issue that I don't feel like sharing with him or the rest of the office), with his manager, etc.

He has kind of figured out something is going on, but has become convinced it's sexism. He won't be satisfied and insists that women are being given something at the expense of men.

Does he have any legal right to continue to insist that he be allowed to know why people are in these cubes (beyond "it's a business decision and not based on gender)? Is my employer allowed to share my disability status with him in order to shut him up (I'm worried it's getting to that stage)?

Barudak posted:

Taller than the guy telling the story whose name is Thumbkin and lives in his fiances purse.

Doggles posted:

I (36m) gave my nephew (21m) a lottery ticket scratcher for Xmas. He hit a minor grand prize ($6000) I feel like he should split it with me, now my family is freaking out on me. How do I get them to see we should split the winnings?

Pick posted:

Your penis doesn’t dictate your life

Pick posted:

Tell him that it’s to compensate by how not far women can pee. Like you got to adjust by that distance

Doggles posted:

Me [28 M] with my best friend [29 M], he's upset he's not a groomsman at my wedding

Pick posted:

Tell him that it’s to compensate by how not far women can pee. Like you got to adjust by that distance

Pick posted:

A penis is neutral, defined only by the person to whom it is attached

blarzgh posted:

The post is in the context of religious discrimination, which is covered by the Civil Rights Act, so I i believe that, like myself, people reading and responding to those issues all presumed that context as well.

fruit on the bottom posted:

My dong is the color of my true love’s hair.

fruit on the bottom posted:

My dong is the color of my true love’s hair.

Chaosfirev posted:

Light red and slightly irritated?

Blade Runner posted:

I didn't know you had a thing for women with shaved heads

fruit on the bottom posted:

Employee is convinced he's being discriminated against. He's not. [CO]

Doggles posted:

Me [28 M] with my best friend [29 M], he's upset he's not a groomsman at my wedding

quote:

She says he's too tall and not photogenic and won't work in photos.

quote:

And if it means I don't have to go around looking at venues and bands and poo poo, even better!

Blade Runner posted:

My dong is what drives me to post actually, and so it is very bad

Admiral Ray posted:

Hahahahaha this marriage is gonna break so hard, this mother fucker isn't even invested one bit into his own wedding.

Pick posted:

Hrmmmmm

Bored posted:

Because any time you go to a foreign country, you are supposed to bring one carry on for your important things and one large suitcase which is only half full with the rest of your stuff. The other half of the large suitcase is to be filled with omiyage to give out to friends and colleagues upon your return. So said my professor's assistant when I studied in Japan.

They were just confused that you didn't follow tradition, even though it was a work trip.

Edit: The top quote was a canceled comment. I could have sworn I checked to make sure the app didn't c/p that into this quote and paste.

Amazingly enough, I have even more boring things I DON'T post.

fruit on the bottom posted:

When you’re the only county licensed psychopimp sometimes you gotta do things you’d rather not do. Like family.

quote:

A few months ago, my bf had a small blemish on his chest and he let me pop it. Unfortunately it manifested into a keloid scar around the size of a jellybean and he has been very self conscious and upset with me. I’ve apologized a million times, always try to reassure him it doesn’t look bad. The scar isn’t visible when wearing clothes, it’s near the middle of his chest.

He often gets in a bad mood randomly and will blame it on me. He’ll swear at me, saying “it’s all my loving fault” that he has to “deal with this bullshit.” He went to the dermatologist for steroid shots and I think it’s slowly working. Last night he made another appointment and then got very angry with me. He then ignores my calls and texts and withdrawals all affection and attention. I’ve texted him countlessly begging for forgiveness but he still hasn’t replied. I’ll gladly offer to pay for laser removal or other options I just don’t want him to hold this over me forever… I don’t know what else to do at this point, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him as to not trigger any negative emotions.

TL;DR My bf let me pop a chest pimple and it turned into a keloid scar and he’s incredibly angry and blames me for it

maskenfreiheit posted:

This one is a crossover episode between /r/relationships and /r/popping:

My bf [23/M] is holding a grudge over his pimple I popped and turned into a keloid scarRelationships

Ziv Zulander posted:

quote:

Ten years ago I (female) was in a relationship with a wonderful man, "john". At the time I was 25 and he was 29. We were in the process of shopping for rings and moving in together when his health took a turn for the worst.

When we began dating, john was in remission after two occurances of acute myloid leukemia which then lead to a bone marrow transplant. I was hesitant about getting involved but within two dates I knew I was in love with him and there was no question that I would remain committed to him regardless of any health uncertainties. We had a wonderful 2 years together. Then he passed away, very suddenly. The last moments I spent with him were in the ICU, while he was in a medically induced coma. Needless to say, this loss was traumatic and shattering.

To fast forward, seven years passed, I moved to another town, met a guy and after a year and a half of dating, we got engaged. I'm 35, he's 32. The wedding is less then three months away.

As time has progressed in our relationship it's become increasingly apparent that he.... I don't know how else to put this, but he has no compassion. For anyone, ever. He's not a bad or cruel person, he treats me with general kindness and is trustworthy and loyal. But he doesn't possess the ability to think about anyone other than himself. It's a combination of narcissism, apathy, and obliviousness. An example: we were going away for a weekend and on the plane, an older gentleman helped a women lift her heavy suitcase into the overhead storage. Doing this strained him in some way that he began having heart issues. Our flight was delayed about 20 minutes while the flight crew helped him. My fiance bitched the entire time. He kept telling me that it was this old man's own fault and that he never should have lifted that suitcase. Then he went into a pretty standard rant: that he makes $200 and hour, and this man was wasting his time. He owed him xxx amount of money for this delay. He should sue him.

No compassion for this poor old guy who was just trying to be nice and ended up going through a really scary thing. Just that this (brief and ultimately insignificant) delay was ruining his travel plans.

There are numerous examples of this behavior, large and small, but they compound daily.

When we first began dating, I waited until we'd been dating seriously for about two months to tell him about John. I was nervous about sharing this, but this event has changed my life. To not share this detail about myself would be a huge omission. His response was to immediately change the subject. We never discussed it further that night.

I waited a few more weeks before broaching the subject again. I wanted him to understand that even though a lot of time has passed and Ive dated since then, there's still occasional moments where I get sad, and I wanted him to understand why. It's not a "I wish i was with John and not you" kind of grief. It's more just general sadness over a young life cut short. I wanted to explain to him that there are times when I get sad and I just want a partner who will put his arms around me and comfort me. I know it's got to be incredibly difficult to date someone who's lost a spouse/partner. I imagine you'd feel like you could never be "as good" as that person or measure up to them. I tried to dispell this, because for me it is simply not true. Also, 99% of the time, I'm a happy person. I don't dwell on this, in fact i rarely talk about it. I'm not a downer who's moping and trolling for attention and sympathy.

His response was to say that I knew what I was getting myself into (true) and therefore I'd brought this upon myself. Those were basically his exact words.

I was floored. Over the years, I've confided this story to maybe a dozen people, and I've never gotten a response like that. Usually people ask questions and express sympathy and afterwards, theres a closer bond between us. But he never asked a single question or expressed even the slightest sympathy.

Ever since then, it's been a very touchy subject which we almost never talk about. Over the course of our relationship, weve maybe exchanged 20 sentences on thesubject. Meanwhile, every few months I'll have a dream or something will trigger a memory, and I just swallow it down rather then turning to my fiance for comfort/support.

Then last month he said to me, appropo of nothing, "you let that guy (he knows his loving name) cum inside you after he had chemo. If our children have learning disabilities I'm going to blame you." So disrespectful, so cruel. Like, I can't undo sex I had 8 years ago so what's your point? He was drunk when he said it, so I let it go.

A few weeks ago, I couldn't stop thinking about how I'm marrying a man who has zero interest in knowing anything about my life. This hugely significant event is totally unknown to him, even though it's something I carry with me every day.

Finally, I brought it up. I told him that I need him to hear this story, despite the fact that it may make him uncomfortable. I need to be able to turn to him for a hug or a cry on rare occasions. I don't spend my life grieving, but it comes up from time to time!! I've never used my deceased partner against him in any way. I've never said anything to the effect of "john was my one true love " or "John would never do/say that." I don't feel that way. I feel you can love many people over the course of your life. I don't want a pity party but I don't think it's too much to ask of your partner for a little compassion.

My fiance simply COULD NOT understand why I needed to talk to him about this. He told me that I needed to "get over" it. As the conversation degraded, I was basically begging him to care; to set aside this foolish jealousy or whatever it is and just see me as a person who he loves who is in pain. I just don't understand how you can profess to love someone, but turn your back to them in the moments they need you most. By the end I was sobbing so hard that I burst a blood vessel in my eye. He was totally unmoved, rolled over and went to bed. The whole thing seems hopeless. You can't make someone care, you can't force emotions upon them.

I just feel like this is a huge red flag, but I also feel I'm in too deep to dig my way out. I DO NOT want to call off this engagement. All I want is a partner who is invested in my happiness as much as I am invested in his. I feel that a partnership is helping the other person carry the baggage that we all drag around with us. Feeling that youre not alone in the dark moments. My philosophy of a relationship is that I'm going to do my best to make life easier and happier for you, and you should do the same for me.

I am at a loss. Is therapy a possibility? I know he's not resistant to seeing a couples counselor, but can you you teach someone to care? I just needed to vent that. I haven't told anyone about this; I don't want them to think negatively of my partner.

Tl,dr: my fiance is unwilling to discuss or acknowledge my deceased partner and has zero compassion about the subject.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Employee is convinced he's being discriminated against. He's not. [CO]

quote:

We've been together for a year and a half. When we've met he was a healthy weight, and I was the chubby one. He didn't mind, and never made me feel bad about it. But during the last year of our relationship, I've dropped 14kg. I feel a lot more confident and also healthier.

The thing is he pretty much gained the amount I lost. It's not that it's making him unattractive. And it's not that it's effecting our sex life or anything. But I'm afraid for his well being, and annoyed with his attitude.

He complains about it a lot too. He'd weight himself and get all down when he notices he gained weight again. I can see it's effecting his confidence, but at the same time he keeps saying things like "I got kinda attached to my big belly." or "At least I'm not in tripple digits yet".

He'd say that he should start eating healthier or maybe exercising, but he puts zero effort into it or even tries. He's abroad a lot so I can't "control" what he eats there, but from pictures he sends me it's all junk food and snacks.

Me and his family give him tips on how to make even just small changes that would help, but again, no action from his side. It's getting tiring to listen to him. And it's making me feel like an annoying nagging girlfriend, even when I just try to help. Especially considering that he was with me when I was the weight I was before.

I don't know what to do at this point. It's no my job to take care of him. And I know that there's not gonna be a change unless he's willing to make it by himself.

Not sure if setting an ultimatum about rethinking our relationship would be fair, but I am out of other ideas... Please help reddit.