Lets All Play Battletech and rewrite Inner Sphere history

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Lets All Play Battletech and rewrite Inner Sphere history

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Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

raverrn posted:

Goon MVP: Spider
OpFor MVP: Hunchback IIC

Korean Roberts in a 'mech full of clantech or Grier in his monster you have to expect to do well. These guys punched way above weight class.

Korean Robert is an office worker turned guerilla, not a trained pilot like the Spider guy

# ? Dec 18, 2017 21:19

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# ? May 23, 2024 17:57

raverrn: Apr 5, 2005; Unidentified spacecraft inbound from delta line.

All Silpheed squadrons scramble now!

Defiance Industries posted:

Korean Robert is an office worker turned guerilla, not a trained pilot like the Spider guy

That's not what his gunnery score says!

# ? Dec 18, 2017 21:43

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

raverrn posted:

That's not what his gunnery score says!

Yeah, being a 3 on a relative scale where the bodyguards to a Clan Khan are ALSO 3s is pretty drat good for anybody, much less an untrained office worker.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 21:51

PoptartsNinja: May 9, 2008; He is still almost definitely not a spy; Soiled Meat

BattleTech is a universe where being really determined to become a better pilot often makes you a better pilot.

Also I'm suggesting it doesn't take much to train up to Clan standards, considering the Inner Sphere's standard training regimen for active duty officers seems to be "run a giant robot obstacle course once every six months and shoot at some stationary targets"

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:01

Ice Fist: Jun 20, 2012; ^^ Please send feedback to beefstache911@hotmail.com, this is not a joke that 'stache is the real deal. Serious assessments only. ^^

PoptartsNinja posted:

BattleTech is a universe where being really determined to become a better pilot often makes you a better pilot.

Also I'm suggesting it doesn't take much to train up to Clan standards, considering the Inner Sphere's standard training regimen for active duty officers seems to be "run a giant robot obstacle course once every six months and shoot at some stationary targets"

Oh, so the training you had to do in the mech warrior games is accurate. Got it.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:03

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

Plus there's only so much being a good shot can help when all the targeting systems are complete poo poo.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:03

wiegieman: Apr 22, 2010; Royalty is a continuous cutting motion

When your militaries are mostly for suppressing civilian uprisings and fighting minor border skirmishes that are mostly for keeping up appearances, you don't really need the vast majority of personnel to be elite (or even regular) soldiery. In fact, that's the opposite of what you want, because then the army might start getting ideas. A few well trained and well equipped units that are kept personally loyal to national leaders will do just fine for knocking down ambitious generals, and the stratified status quo is maintained.

Of course, this presumes the existence of governments that are loose feudal structures at best. A strong national identity that can maintain a loyal fighting force at all levels allows you to build a more effective war machine.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:06

Technowolf: Nov 4, 2009

berryjon posted:

GOON MVP: Spider, for the Crosscounter to end all Crosscounters.
OP4 MVP: Hunchback IIC, for being the platonic ideal of the Hunchback IIC.

This

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:45

PoptartsNinja: May 9, 2008; He is still almost definitely not a spy; Soiled Meat

wiegieman posted:

Of course, this presumes the existence of governments that are loose feudal structures at best. A strong national identity that can maintain a loyal fighting force at all levels allows you to build a more effective war machine.

Good thing Devlin Stone decided the best thing to do to foster a strong national identity was piss everyone off by forcibly relocating entire planetary populations at massive expense in an effort to "end racism"

I don't mind the Dark Ages and what happened after, but holy poo poo Devlin Stone was a dumbass

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:52

Hedningen: May 4, 2013; Enough sideburns to last a lifetime.

Zaodai posted:

Plus there's only so much being a good shot can help when all the targeting systems are complete poo poo.

Theory: 'mech targeting is handled by a badly-ported, heavily modified version of Excel that uses a large number of custom macros, thus making office workers the ideal gunners.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:59

CourValant: Feb 25, 2016; Do You Remember Love?

PoptartsNinja posted:

Good thing Devlin Stone decided the best thing to do to foster a strong national identity was piss everyone off by forcibly relocating entire planetary populations at massive expense in an effort to "end racism"

I don't mind the Dark Ages and what happened after, but holy poo poo Devlin Stone was a dumbass

Yeah, the parallels between how the ROTS was 'blessed' into existence and the creation of the Israeli State has always made that setting a tad uncomfortable for me.

Then again, if you didn't plant the seeds of its destruction during its creation, it wouldn't be very Battletech.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 23:00

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

Hedningen posted:

Theory: 'mech targeting is handled by a badly-ported, heavily modified version of Excel that uses a large number of custom macros, thus making office workers the ideal gunners.

Excel could probably do that if you tweaked it enough. It's always been alarmingly robust for a spreadsheet program.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 23:01

OptimusShr: Mar 1, 2008

Goon MVP: Spider
OpFor MVP: Hunchback IIC

There really are no other choices.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 23:48

Voyager I: Jun 29, 2012; This is how your posting feels.
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

Player MVP: abstaining between Robert and the Spider

Clan MVP: Peak Hunchback

# ? Dec 18, 2017 23:48

SIGSEGV: Nov 4, 2010

Zaodai posted:

Excel could probably do that if you tweaked it enough. It's always been alarmingly robust for a spreadsheet program.

Aurora is basically an overgrown excel spreadsheet.

GoonFor MVP: really hard to pick so I won't.
ClanFor MVP: the Hunchie has shown the world how to do the hunchie right.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 23:51

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Excel is turing-complete; it is fully capable of running interpreted code, and that's not even considering all the available extensions. It is essentially an API disguised as an office spreadsheet program.

I don't know if it's still there, Excel '97 had a flight simulator video game embedded in it as an easter egg.

e.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Easter_eggs_in_Microsoft_products#Office_2000

# ? Dec 19, 2017 00:03

vorebane: Feb 2, 2009; "I like Ur and Kavodel and Enki being nice to people for some reason."

Wrong Voter amongst wrong voters

Nooo, I'll miss you Grier.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 00:24

evilmiera: Dec 14, 2009; Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

Chronojam posted:

Spider lost his leg, grabs the arm, jumps up, and smashes the cockpit. Clan surrenders due to acute arachnophobia.

You know, there probably wouldn't be a good reason to bring along actual spiders on the Exodus ships. After all, they might eat all the Fleas and then where would the Clans be?

Arachnophobia makes total sense.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 02:33

sheep-dodger: Feb 21, 2013

OptimusShr posted:

Goon MVP: Spider
OpFor MVP: Hunchback IIC

There really are no other choices.

Agreed

# ? Dec 19, 2017 16:17

Bloody Pom: Jun 5, 2011

Goon MVP: Spider
OpFor MVP: Hunchback IIC

What a spectacular way to close that battle out.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 07:28

John Charity Spring: Nov 4, 2009; SCREEEEE

I often sit out from the MVP votes because these things are too hard to figure but I can't not acknowledge some of what happened in this battle.

Player MVP: Spider

Enemy MVP: Hunchback IIC

# ? Dec 20, 2017 14:48

PoptartsNinja: May 9, 2008; He is still almost definitely not a spy; Soiled Meat

I just realized this is the second time that W.T. Fits has fought Grier Seidman

# ? Dec 20, 2017 17:10

W.T. Fits: Apr 21, 2010; Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

PoptartsNinja posted:

I just realized this is the second time that W.T. Fits has fought Grier Seidman

Yep. I never actually expected that I'd be the one to finish him off like that, though.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 18:59

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

W.T. Fits posted:

Yep. I never actually expected that I'd be the one to finish him off like that, though.

It's obvious in retrospect though. Spiders are the natural enemy of horses! :tinfoil:

# ? Dec 20, 2017 19:05

CoffeeQaddaffi: Mar 20, 2009

Goon MVP: Spider
OPFOR MVP: Kraken
Honorable Mention: Hunchback IIC

# ? Dec 20, 2017 19:45

Psion: Dec 13, 2002; eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS

PoptartsNinja posted:

I just realized this is the second time that W.T. Fits has fought Grier Seidman

sounds like it's time for the Shadowrun/BT crossover if you loop the player list again, so W.T. Fits can fight Cyberzombie Grier Seidman a few years down the line

# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:33

SIGSEGV: Nov 4, 2010

Psion posted:

sounds like it's time for the Shadowrun/BT crossover if you loop the player list again, so W.T. Fits can fight Cyberzombie Grier Seidman a few years down the line

I'm ashamed to say that was my first thought once PTN brought it up.

And I thought we had already concluded that the Awakening had happened in BT and explained the weird physics.

# ? Dec 20, 2017 22:03

wiegieman: Apr 22, 2010; Royalty is a continuous cutting motion

In before the next mission is a run on an HPG, quick PTN tell us how much you like dicepools.

Goon MVP: Robert Korean
OPFOR MVP: Hunchback

# ? Dec 20, 2017 22:07

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Zaodai posted:

It's obvious in retrospect though. Spiders are the natural enemy of horses!

Poor Grier, thought of spiders and died.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 00:42

TheParadigm: Dec 10, 2009

Psion posted:

sounds like it's time for the Shadowrun/BT crossover if you loop the player list again, so W.T. Fits can fight Cyberzombie Grier Seidman a few years down the line

They had the technology. To rebuild him, faster. Stronger. Horse-ier.

From Hells horses to the cyber horse of hell itself in one fell augmentation surgery..

Shadowrun is a strange place.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 00:57

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

paragon1 posted:

Poor Grier, thought of spiders and died.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 01:07

Preechr: May 19, 2009; Proud member of the Pony-Brony Alliance for Obama as President

Goon MVP: Spider, for making the Horseman headless
OPFOR: Hunchie, for being all that a Hunchback IIC could be.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 03:10

apostateCourier: Oct 9, 2012

Goon MVP: Spider, Randy salutes thee.
OpFor MVP: Hunchback IIC, like others have said this is the platonic ideal of a Hunchback IIC.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 03:24

Rorahusky: Nov 12, 2012; Transform and waaauuuugh out!

I do find it beautifully ironic that the Hell Horses won Luthien with a bold headhunter strike, and now they have lost Luthien once more to the same (Albiet, kind of impromptu, since the PCs were only there to take out what they thought was a command center, not King Daddy Horse himself).

# ? Dec 21, 2017 15:49

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Rorahusky posted:

I do find it beautifully ironic that the Hell Horses won Luthien with a bold headhunter strike, and now they have lost Luthien once more to the same (Albiet, kind of impromptu, since the PCs were only there to take out what they thought was a command center, not King Daddy Horse himself).

It's basically the Platonic Ideal of Clan Warfare, too.

Well, okay, they probably wouldn't say that being Shoryuken'd by a Spider is the "ideal," but still.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 16:23

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

It's basically the Platonic Ideal of Clan Warfare, too.

Well, okay, they probably wouldn't say that being Shoryuken'd by a Spider is the "ideal," but still.

In canon, there was the incident with an aerospace fighter ramming the bridge of a warship, killing the ilKhan, which they appreciated enough to stick into the remembrance.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 17:27

anakha: Sep 16, 2009

AJ_Impy posted:

In canon, there was the incident with an aerospace fighter ramming the bridge of a warship, killing the ilKhan, which they appreciated enough to stick into the remembrance.

The pilot even got a Clan Dropship named after her IIRC.

Looking forward to a jumpy Clan Mech named the Al-Hazar in the future.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 17:45

PoptartsNinja: May 9, 2008; He is still almost definitely not a spy; Soiled Meat

anakha posted:

Looking forward to a jumpy Clan Mech named the Al-Hazar in the future.

It's a few decades off, but... 'Mech?

code:

Al-Hazar Medium BattleArmor
Clan experimental

BV: 522
Cost: 3,300,000 C-bills

Movement: 5/5/0

Internal: 5
Armor: 35
                     Internal    Armor
--------------------------------------
Trooper 1                   1        7
Trooper 2                   1        7
Trooper 3                   1        7
Trooper 4                   1        7
Trooper 5                   1        7

Weapon                         Loc  Heat
----------------------------------------
AP Gauss Rifle (Right arm)

Equipment                      Loc
----------------------------------
Battle Magnetic Claw (Left arm)
Battle Magnetic Claw (Right arm)
BA Stealth (Improved) (Body)
BA Stealth (Improved) (Body)
BA Stealth (Improved) (Body)
BA Stealth (Improved) (Left arm)
BA Stealth (Improved) (Right arm)
Mechanical Jump Booster (Body)
Anti Personnel Weapon Mount (Right arm)
Anti Personnel Weapon Mount (Left arm)
Cutting Torch (Left arm)

It's already an order of magnitude better than the Afreet

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Dec 21, 2017

# ? Dec 21, 2017 19:09

CourValant: Feb 25, 2016; Do You Remember Love?

PoptartsNinja posted:

It's a few decades off, but... 'Mech?

Is it wearing a Red or White Keikogi?

# ? Dec 21, 2017 21:18

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# ? May 23, 2024 17:57

SIGSEGV: Nov 4, 2010

Mechanical jump booster are basically a combat version of those clown shoes with spring soles, right? Because I'm pretty sure they are and I can't not imagine the poor things going *SPROING* *SPROING* *SPROING* all over the place.

# ? Dec 21, 2017 21:28

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Lets All Play Battletech and rewrite Inner Sphere history

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