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Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X
There are like 18 teams that are desperate for a good quarterback, Keenum is going to get paid huge.

If I were running the Vikings I'd grimace and let him walk, probably. The dude turns 30 in two months and 2017 was very likely his career year.

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Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
PEYTON NEW CEO

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

sean10mm posted:

Yeah, starting the probable league MVP is a real hardship.

But in all seriousness, I"m pretty sure the plan is everybody is gonna just quit when Brady retires, and then Gillette Stadium is going to implode and sink into the Earth's core.

Over the smoking ruin they'll say you can hear the ghost of Victor Kiam, floating around in circles whispering :ghost: Disposable razors are for cocksuckers :ghost:

Yeah, I mean I really wanted the Jimmy G era to be Montana/Young on steroids but the Brady era has already been longer than the good years of both of them combined and it's not even over yet so that'd just be greedy.

Plus, it's crazy but you've got probably just as good a chance to have two stellar years out of Brady in the next five as Jimmy G, so w/e. Pity that the contracts didn't overlap better.

evilweasel fucked around with this message at 23:14 on Dec 21, 2017

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Amy Pole Her posted:

PEYTON NEW CEO

🎶 Entire meetings in jingle 🎶

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
*Peyton yokozunas a pizza in the middle of a board meeting* OMAHA!

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Spoeank posted:

🎶 Entire meetings in jingle 🎶

Pizza slides out of oven right between Peyton's bowlegs and as his sack rolls over it the pizza becomes magically covered in meatball and sausage.

Better Ingredients, Better Pizza.

Abugadu
Jul 12, 2004

1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Eric the Mauve posted:

There are like 18 teams that are desperate for a good quarterback, Keenum is going to get paid huge.

If I were running the Vikings I'd grimace and let him walk, probably. The dude turns 30 in two months and 2017 was very likely his career year.

But if they win the SB he’s there for life.

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

Abugadu posted:

But if they win the SB he’s there for life.

This leads to the Joe Flacco Experience.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X

sharknado slashfic posted:

This leads to the Joe Flacco Experience.

Which every Ravens fan except the obvious one will tell you was totally worth it

also I have no idea what the Vikings' cap situation is but I imagine they will franchise him if it's possible for them to do so

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

Case Keenum is experiencing a phenomenon I would like to call "Folesing"

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin

sharknado slashfic posted:

This leads to the Joe Flacco Experience.

winning a SB is worth 10 years of mediocrity or worse

TheHoosier
Dec 30, 2004

The fuck, Graham?!

Chromatic posted:

I always like this guy's videos. He does a league-wide one every week

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZC4Onsikdg

This guy's channel owns. His Atlanta Falcons Legacy of Failure video might be my favorite

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Flacco isn't an all time great or anything, but the Ravens could do a hell of a lot worse.

pmchem
Jan 22, 2010



Jesus, this entire video is amazing. The Browns live in Hell.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Randaconda posted:

Flacco isn't an all time great or anything, but the Ravens could do a hell of a lot worse.

Not really. By DVOA you could do worse with the following quarterbacks who have at least 200 attempts this year:

* Trevor Siemian
* DeShone Kizer

Flacco's 33rd out of 35. The rest of his stats are in the same neighborhood. He sucks real bad. And the Ravens are stuck with him for at least another two years unless they clear a poo poo-ton of cap space to eat an accelerated hit from releasing him.

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.
Another one bites the dust.

https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/943998102696026112

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005








The least surprising list.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
The guy who's been accused of sexual assault twice has been accused of sexual harassment? Weird.

TheChirurgeon
Aug 7, 2002

Remember how good you are
Taco Defender
How the gently caress is anyone surprised? Michael Irvin is a colossal piece of poo poo who once stabbed a teammate in the neck with scissors because said player was getting a haircut and wouldn't stop in the middle to let Irvin get his

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

fsif posted:

Not that this will ever in any way amount to anything detrimental to the continued success of the New England Patriots, but there are reports that Brady and Belichick are unhappy because Belichick barred Brady's quack doctor from trolling the sidelines: https://www.bostonglobe.com/sports/...lflow%3Atwitter

One can hope.

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

Eric the Mauve posted:

Not really. By DVOA you could do worse with the following quarterbacks who have at least 200 attempts this year:

* Trevor Siemian
* DeShone Kizer

Flacco's 33rd out of 35. The rest of his stats are in the same neighborhood. He sucks real bad. And the Ravens are stuck with him for at least another two years unless they clear a poo poo-ton of cap space to eat an accelerated hit from releasing him.

dvoa is poo poo

so is joe this year

but still!

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

TheChirurgeon posted:

How the gently caress is anyone surprised? Michael Irvin is a colossal piece of poo poo who once stabbed a teammate in the neck with scissors because said player was getting a haircut and wouldn't stop in the middle to let Irvin get his

I don't think anyone is surprised at all about Irvin. But it's worth noting that he's officially been named now since for whatever reason he still has a job there.

e: Oh and I was wrong, it's three sexual assault investigations he's been through. But the first one was apparently bullshit.

Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Dec 22, 2017

Pharohman777
Jan 14, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Chromatic posted:

I always like this guy's videos. He does a league-wide one every week

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZC4Onsikdg

Yeah, that youtube channel is amazing. It made me more interested in sports in general because of the way he presents the sordid history and failures of teams.He has this great announcer voice.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


I hope NFL Network shuts down.

Adun
Apr 15, 2001

Publicola
Fun Shoe

So help me god I will lose my remaining faith in mankind if Rich Eisen or Kurt Warner are pervy assholes

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010

Eric the Mauve posted:

Not really. By DVOA you could do worse with the following quarterbacks who have at least 200 attempts this year:

* Trevor Siemian
* DeShone Kizer

Flacco's 33rd out of 35. The rest of his stats are in the same neighborhood. He sucks real bad. And the Ravens are stuck with him for at least another two years unless they clear a poo poo-ton of cap space to eat an accelerated hit from releasing him.

he was recovering from injury earlier in the year and is only mediocre right now rather than terrible.

whypick1
Dec 18, 2009

Just another jackass on the Internet

SKULL.GIF posted:

I hope NFL Network shuts down.

This would mean no more Thursday Night Football, right? :pray:

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Happy anniversary vikings fans

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNwv4GUD8aA

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me

whypick1 posted:

This would mean no more Thursday Night Football, right? :pray:

Probably not. It might just lead to some games being Amazon exclusive while NBC/CBS air the rest

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Just turn nfl network over to the podcast crews

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

After reading that book about the 90s cowboys, this is the least surprising news. Where is that Irvin/Sapp U gif?

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Adun posted:

So help me god I will lose my remaining faith in mankind if Rich Eisen or Kurt Warner are pervy assholes
Much like a lot of perverts, Warner is very religious. It makes you think

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


I can't believe Cardinal Law got a respectful funeral

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Please don't be a piece of poo poo, LdT

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

TheHoosier posted:

JT O'Sullivan

gently caress you.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

mastershakeman posted:

winning a SB is worth 10 years of mediocrity or worse

If SF had won the Harbowl then Kaep would be odds-on favorite for the first Starting QB/Congressman in history.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
If any goons were on the fence about how great Joe Thomas is he knows how to cook a steak properly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XgwNUW_cu8

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Ches Neckbeard posted:

If any goons were on the fence about how great Joe Thomas is he knows how to cook a steak properly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XgwNUW_cu8

The fishing trick is the most useful thing here if you like to fish.

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
The way to get around a stinky dog got a hearty chuckle out of me.

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TheHoosier
Dec 30, 2004

The fuck, Graham?!

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

gently caress you.

Same but Dilfer

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