NFL N/V Week 16: My son is also Bang-Bang Play

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL N/V Week 16: My son is also Bang-Bang Play

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Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Dick Enberg has died from a heart attack at age 82.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 07:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 14:44

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Ches Neckbeard posted:

If any goons were on the fence about how great Joe Thomas is he knows how to cook a steak properly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XgwNUW_cu8

Joe Thomas is a national treasure.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 07:02

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

If SF had won the Harbowl then Kaep would be odds-on favorite for the first Starting QB/Congressman in history.

Heck, SF could have easily beat the Broncos that year if Crabs wasn't such a mediocre WR...

# ? Dec 22, 2017 08:44

Freakazoid_: Jul 5, 2013; Buglord

Lofa Tatupu

# ? Dec 22, 2017 08:50

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Eric the Mauve posted:

Not really. By DVOA you could do worse with the following quarterbacks who have at least 200 attempts this year:

* Trevor Siemian
* DeShone Kizer

Flacco's 33rd out of 35. The rest of his stats are in the same neighborhood. He sucks real bad. And the Ravens are stuck with him for at least another two years unless they clear a poo poo-ton of cap space to eat an accelerated hit from releasing him.

He's been bad this year but much of the decline is attributable to continuous o-line injuries, a single pass catcher on the roster, and his back injury. He's been an entirely different player for the past 3 weeks. He hasn't yet passed for over 280 yards so this entirely different player is just original Flacco but still, much improved.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 09:15

GaussianCopula: Jun 5, 2011; Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

seiferguy posted:

Heck, SF could have easily beat the Broncos that year if Crabs wasn't such a mediocre WR...

But they played against the Ravens in the Super Bowl?

# ? Dec 22, 2017 10:56

nah: Mar 16, 2009

Spoeank posted:

Just turn nfl network over to the podcast crews

I'm not sure who would be worse around women, former football players or podcasters

# ? Dec 22, 2017 13:18

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Can't we just accept they are terrible people and a fitting punishment is having to be next to Phil Simms?

# ? Dec 22, 2017 14:23

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Freakazoid_ posted:

Lofa Tatupu

Chris Fuamatu-Maʻafala

Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Dec 22, 2017

# ? Dec 22, 2017 14:28

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Freakazoid_ posted:

Lofa Tatupu

Lola Falana.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 14:40

TSBX: Apr 24, 2010

Guy Whimper

# ? Dec 22, 2017 15:00

The_Raven: Jul 2, 2004; Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved?

Freakazoid_ posted:

Lofa Tatupu

His father Mosi.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 15:05

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Eric the Mauve posted:

Not really. By DVOA you could do worse with the following quarterbacks who have at least 200 attempts this year:

* Trevor Siemian
* DeShone Kizer

Flacco's 33rd out of 35. The rest of his stats are in the same neighborhood. He sucks real bad. And the Ravens are stuck with him for at least another two years unless they clear a poo poo-ton of cap space to eat an accelerated hit from releasing him.

im surprised he's behind mitch

edit : bottom 5 by dyar
kizer -35, beathard-34, flacco-33, savage-32, siemian-31 (mitch at 30)
bottom 5 by dvoa
kizer-35, savage-34, siemian-33, beathard-32, flacco-31 (mitch at 29, ahead of hundley)

quite the QB grouping down there

mastershakeman fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Dec 22, 2017

# ? Dec 22, 2017 15:17

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Flikken posted:

Joe Thomas is a national treasure.

If the NFL ever forces Haslam to sell the Browns, Joe and LeBron must be guaranteed first dibs on a purchase bid.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 15:22

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

I for one find the Stockholm Syndrome Ravens fans have developed with respect to Joe Flacco highly amusing. He sucks.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 15:48

Detroit_Dogg: Feb 2, 2008; Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

Freakazoid_ posted:

Lofa Tatupu

Ed Hartwell

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:16

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

I don't care, I got to go to a parade because of him so my fandom is set for life already :shrug:

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:17

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

He's not Rodgers but he's what we got. I remember the Bollers, the Redmans, the Bankses. If we'd dumped Joe and been all in on Winston a few years back we would have made a lateral move at best for an obscene amount of draft capital. I'm all for the Superbowl contract but his extension should have been way more team friendly. Still, can't blame Flacco for management being dumb.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:18

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Eric the Mauve posted:

I for one find the Stockholm Syndrome Ravens fans have developed with respect to Joe Flacco highly amusing. He sucks.

yeah, he real bad. i intellectually get the "sustained mediocrity is a price worth paying for a super bowl" even if personally i have no idea what such a tradeoff is like, or even merely winning "a" super bowl, but the raven's didn't need to pay that price. flacco had already won the super bowl at that point. there was no need to give him truckloads of money to continue sucking because he fluked into a super bowl and ensure you couldn't put the same talent around some other mediocre QB to fluke into another super bowl. shoulda taken the trent dilfer route.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:24

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

It's all Rahim Moore's fault

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:27

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

piss tape israel posted:

It's all Rahim Moore's fault

Joe Flacco owes his entire contract to a misplayed Hail Mary and Anquan Boldin

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:44

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

evilweasel posted:

yeah, he real bad. i intellectually get the "sustained mediocrity is a price worth paying for a super bowl" even if personally i have no idea what such a tradeoff is like, or even merely winning "a" super bowl, but the raven's didn't need to pay that price. flacco had already won the super bowl at that point. there was no need to give him truckloads of money to continue sucking because he fluked into a super bowl and ensure you couldn't put the same talent around some other mediocre QB to fluke into another super bowl. shoulda taken the trent dilfer route.

He made two AFC Championships in a row and was a missed FG away from 2 SBs in a row. There was reason to believe it wasn't a fluke

# ? Dec 22, 2017 16:48

pubic works project: Jan 28, 2005; No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

corn on the cop posted:

Joe Flacco owes his entire contract to a misplayed Hail Mary and Anquan Boldin

Still elite.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:15

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Chris James 2 posted:

He made two AFC Championships in a row and was a missed FG away from 2 SBs in a row. There was reason to believe it wasn't a fluke

so did mark sanchez

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:17

D-LINK: Oct 1, 2007; I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

Joe Flacco hasn't had a functioning, healthy offensive line in 3+ seasons, and his best WRs are Mike Wallace and the ghost of Jeremy Maclin. I can't imagine why he dumps off every play and his numbers suck :iiam:

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:30

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

evilweasel posted:

so did mark sanchez

4-2 record in the playoffs Mark Sanchez

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:32

WHOOPS: Nov 6, 2009

yeah mark sanchez, that�s a good comparison to joe flacco :rolleyes:

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:42

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

WHOOPS posted:

yeah mark sanchez, that�s a good comparison to joe flacco

love that he didn't bold the actual relevant part of that sentence, just the one that fit his narrative

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:44

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Brock Osweiller has a ring too

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:45

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Yeah but after last week we all know that Brock is legit.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:53

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

You don't say!

https://twitter.com/mikefreemanNFL/status/944240722894622720

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:58

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Brock for Flacco

# ? Dec 22, 2017 17:59

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

The Puppy Bowl posted:

Yeah but after last week we all know that Brock is legit.

True true.. I won't say Brock is better but I think they are both elite

also,

piss tape israel posted:

Brock for Flacco

imho

# ? Dec 22, 2017 18:08

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

fsif posted:

You don't say!

https://twitter.com/mikefreemanNFL/status/944240722894622720

Imagine being a pats fan lol

# ? Dec 22, 2017 18:23

pubic works project: Jan 28, 2005; No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

piss tape israel posted:

Brock for Flacco

Who says no????

# ? Dec 22, 2017 18:24

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Ehud posted:

Imagine being a pats fan lol

i mean, the tax bill was a hilariously massive transfer of wealth directly to kraft's personal pocket as well as the pocket of every other billionare

someone gives you that nice a gift, only polite to say thanks

# ? Dec 22, 2017 18:31

BigPaddy: Jun 30, 2008; That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.

evilweasel posted:

i mean, the tax bill was a hilariously massive transfer of wealth directly to kraft's personal pocket as well as the pocket of every other billionare

someone gives you that nice a gift, only polite to say thanks

You have 7 years to become a billionaire before you get hosed so chop chop.

# ? Dec 22, 2017 18:35

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

https://www.bostonsportsjournal.com/2017/12/20/much-concern-alex-guerrerobill-belichick-rift-patriots/

quote:

Over the last few years, Guerrero's influence has grown inside the Patriots' locker room, as he now treats about 20 Patriots players.

As that influence increased, Guerrero became more emboldened in the advice he dispensed, and more adamant that when his instructions conflicted with that of the Patriots' strength, training and medical staffs, the players were to follow his directives. This greatly agitated the Patriots' staff.

One example: a Patriots starter was told by Guerrero not to do squats. When the strength staff made that part of the player's normal in-season workout, the player refused to do the exercise. That only added to the tension between the Patriots and Guerrero.

In the early stages of the season, Belichick professionally informed Guerrero that the team wanted to keep everyone on the same page for the betterment of the franchise. Guerrero told a different account to many of his clients � one that painted Belichick in a poor light � which further damaged the relationship, perhaps to the point that it can't be repaired.

With Brady as his top client, and with a business relationship with the Kraft family, Guerrero was largely allowed to do what he wanted. Consequently, Belichick was helpless when it came to dealing with Guerrero. It became more of an issue when his clientele went from a handful of Patriots players to nearly half of the roster.

Guerrero is still allowed to treat Brady in the Patriots' facility in a private room, but his appearance in other parts of the building is an intentional irritant to Belichick. Guerrero has traveled to the team's locations to treat Brady on the quarterback's dime.

The situation has absolutely become a source of friction between Brady and Belichick. But unless Brady forces the issue and demands Guerrero's reinstatement, no one believes it will affect the team on the field.

But that hasn't stopped some behind the scenes at Gillette from referring to Guerrero as "Yoko Guerrero," in reference to Yoko Ono, the wife of John Lennon who some believe caused the breakup of The Beatles.

There was an attempt to bring the three parties � Belichick, Brady and Robert Kraft � together to put the issue to bed prior to the game in Miami, but it didn't happen. It's not known whether another attempt will be made.

Two sources said they believe the current arrangement is permanent. Belichick doesn't want to irritate his staff further by giving in on Guerrero. Brady is steadfast in his belief in and support of Guerrero. Kraft is basically trying to remain Switzerland between his Hall of Fame coach, and the franchise player he adores.