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Bored posted:I am poor. hell, same. I bought this one from Walmart.com. 
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Dec 27, 2017 11:09
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SpacePig posted:Reminds me of one of my favorites. That's good, but this is actually your favorite old guy boxer video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHm31XliRgY
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Dec 27, 2017 11:59
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:That's good, but this is actually your favorite old guy boxer video. You'd think after the rest of the bystanders start referring to the dude you're fronting up to fight as "Champ" you might think about it for a second. Nahh.
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Dec 27, 2017 12:04
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Ak Gara posted:Ah I think I see the problem. You're supposed to kill the animal first, and then cook it. Not just gorge yourself on a still living pig or cow like some kind of food vampire. To think I've understood it wrong all these years....
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Dec 27, 2017 15:02
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Why is the bird thread closed?   (the things others posted there were higher quality than this, sorry)
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Dec 27, 2017 15:14
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I'm sure that this is totally normal for ladies but I'm a guy and I just found out that women carry around trash bags so they can poop while wearing a gown and I think that's delightful
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Dec 27, 2017 15:20
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https://twitter.com/videocats/status/945999364308328449
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Dec 27, 2017 15:22
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Drunk Driver Dad posted:That's good, but this is actually your favorite old guy boxer video. His mistake was not asking anyone to hold his beer
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Dec 27, 2017 15:28
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Cows would literally go extinct if we stopped breeding them for meat Are we supposed to release them into the wild? Every drat cow would die in winter here in Sweden
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Dec 27, 2017 15:31
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Zzulu posted:Cows would literally go extinct if we stopped breeding them for meat So what you're saying is that if we released the cows they would handily store themselves as frozen meat for us anyway?
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Dec 27, 2017 15:38
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Zzulu posted:Cows would literally go extinct if we stopped breeding them for meat Don't worry, global warming will fix that
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Dec 27, 2017 15:47
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Szechuan posted:I II  yeah it's a stretch but I can see it: 1. the boys upper body (single pleat on torso) 2. the goat (2 horns, between two tree trunks 3. the boys legs. 4. the boy's book and bag. Dungeon Ecology has a new favorite as of 15:59 on Dec 27, 2017 |
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Dec 27, 2017 15:57
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Zzulu posted:Cows would literally go extinct if we stopped breeding them for meat Belgian cows were specifically selected for carrying a genetic disorder causing them to produce extra muscles. They can't even give birth naturally anymore because they are too loving buff. 
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Dec 27, 2017 15:59
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Those loving cows are creepy as hell IRL, I saw some from a short distance away and I thought I was hallucinating.
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Dec 27, 2017 16:06
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SpaceGoatFarts posted:Belgian cows were specifically selected for carrying a genetic disorder causing them to produce extra muscles. So kegel delivered Veal at projectile velocities or...what?
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Dec 27, 2017 16:12
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Dec 27, 2017 16:17
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Dec 27, 2017 16:18
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I wrote a paper on those cows last semester and scientists have isolated the double muscling genes and introduced them into other animals. They seem to think the birthing issues (they're almost exclusively birthed through c-sections and can't generally nurse their young) is because of the breed the gene is in and not the fact that they're the hulk so they want to try putting it in other cows breeds with better mothering traits. They also made double muscled pigs but only one has survived so far. There's a sheep breed with a similar double muscled trait and they're basically hams covered in wool.  Unrelated funny cow picture 
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Dec 27, 2017 16:25
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Ak Gara posted:So kegel delivered Veal at projectile velocities or...what? There's an African saying that goes like "the man who swallows a coconut trusts his anus". It's kind of a similar situation
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Dec 27, 2017 17:32
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Dec 27, 2017 17:55
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Elf on a Shelf has never been funny
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Dec 27, 2017 18:16
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Eastbound Spider posted:Don't worry, global warming will fix that ironically, a major contributor to global warming is cow farts
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Dec 27, 2017 18:19
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Who What Now posted:Elf on a Shelf has never been funny Unironically agreed. I'm glad it didn't exist when In was a kid.
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Dec 27, 2017 18:29
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Who What Now posted:Elf on a Shelf has never been funny What is it? It seems like it just appeared a few years back, and now it's some kind of tradition. Everybody has to buy an elf doll every Christmas now for some reason.
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Dec 27, 2017 18:40
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Guy Goodbody posted:What is it? Surveillance state indoctrination
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Dec 27, 2017 18:44
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The elf spies on your kids and snitches on them to Santa. Also it sits on a shelf or shelf analogue.
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Dec 27, 2017 18:46
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Saint Freak posted:The elf spies on your kids and snitches on them to Santa. Also it sits on a shelf or shelf analogue. And the parents are supposed to "hide" it during the night to give the illusion that it comes alive at night to talk to Santa. It's dumb poo poo for parents who want a new "tradition" that they can post photos of how cleverly they hid it on social media.
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Dec 27, 2017 18:48
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Elf on Shelf is primarily for parents who don't feel like actually disciplining their kids, and need a physical totem of Santa's omnipresence to threaten their kids into good behavior. It's secondarily for suburban moms who think it's cute somehow, and put in an inordinate amount of effort to actually make it look like the elf is engaging in hijinks when the kid isn't looking. It's tertiarily for "cool" parents and single dads to make them do wacky and raunchy things for Facebook likes. I didn't know this until recently: The original Elf on Shelf book was published with the subtitle "A Christmas Tradition", which is really just putting the cart before the horse there.
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Dec 27, 2017 18:57
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SpacePig posted:I didn't know this until recently: The original Elf on Shelf book was published with the subtitle "A Christmas Tradition", which is really just putting the cart before the horse there. The first time I ever heard of it was a guy came on to the TV show Shark Tank to pitch the Jewish version of it (Mensch on a Bench) and his pitch was like 'well obviously we all know the traditional Elf on the Shelf right?'. Uh, I do? It had existed for like 4 years at the time.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:02
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Elf on the shelf is a simple child’s game meant to be fun and lighthearted and hopefully create pleasant memories for families. I’m truly sorry if this is not how it went for your family.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:05
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SpacePig posted:I didn't know this until recently: The original Elf on Shelf book was published with the subtitle "A Christmas Tradition", which is really just putting the cart before the horse there.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:07
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FactsAreUseless posted:It's very manufactured, and I don't understand how anyone fell for it. As opposed to absolutely every other Christmas tradition?
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Dec 27, 2017 19:25
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I feel like the hate piled on the elf thing is a little dramatic since all the same complaints can be made against Santa, a Coke product. I don't even like the dumb thing, but geez.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:33
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My girlfriend's sister does elf on the shelf with her kids, grandma gets really into it too. It's the most absurd thing to me (she agrees), I can't imagine ever participating in such nonsense. They are the pinnacle of white suburban middle class, picket fence, 2 kids and a dog in Ohio, they seem to celebrate all of the bullshit Hallmark holidays too. I don't know if they think all of these things are cute and fun, or if they're just gullible.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:34
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Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:As opposed to absolutely every other Christmas tradition?
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Dec 27, 2017 19:41
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FactsAreUseless posted:It's very manufactured, and I don't understand how anyone fell for it. My man, let me tell you about Valentine's Day...
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Dec 27, 2017 19:43
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Farmdizzle posted:My man, let me tell you about
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Dec 27, 2017 19:45
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the only way I can imagine elf on the shelf getting started is social media astroturfing. it would be really interested to dig into their marketing department and find the stage where they had a stupid-looking doll and they hired some important dipshits to post on pinterest or what have you about "hiding the Elf on the Shelf again this year! little Timofer just loves that Elf on the Shelf!"
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Dec 27, 2017 19:47
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Saint Freak posted:The elf spies on your kids and snitches on them to Santa. Also it sits on a shelf or shelf analogue. And if you REALLY want to give your kids years of therapy, get a Santa surveillance camera.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:49
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People aren't going along with it because someone said it's a Christmas tradition, they're doing it because they think it's fun/cute/goofy. The extension into fake security cameras is getting weird, but it's meant to be basically a little game parents play with their kids through december.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:49
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