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om nom nom posted:My girlfriend's sister does elf on the shelf with her kids, grandma gets really into it too. It's the most absurd thing to me (she agrees), I can't imagine ever participating in such nonsense. They are the pinnacle of white suburban middle class, picket fence, 2 kids and a dog in Ohio, they seem to celebrate all of the bullshit Hallmark holidays too. I don't know if they think all of these things are cute and fun, or if they're just gullible. Had an ex-gf years and years ago and her familiy (or perhaps it could have just been her mom for all I know) had a "tradition" I found odd. Her mom would set up the manger scene on like Dec 1st, but absent Baby Jesus (natch). But the 3 Wise Men she would put at the opposite end of the house, and every day, she would move them closer so that they "arrived" at the manger on Christmas, along with BJ himself. It was...odd. She was a little too into this idea. Just seemed like a weird part of the story to latch on to.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:50
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HaB posted:Had an ex-gf years and years ago and her familiy (or perhaps it could have just been her mom for all I know) had a "tradition" I found odd. Her mom would set up the manger scene on like Dec 1st, but absent Baby Jesus (natch). But the 3 Wise Men she would put at the opposite end of the house, and every day, she would move them closer so that they "arrived" at the manger on Christmas, along with BJ himself. She did it wrong, then. The three wise men shouldn't have arrived until 12 days after Christmas (which is why some Orthodox religions don't celebrate Christmas until January 6).
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Dec 27, 2017 19:52
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I have a single-person family and I play Sock on a Cock.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:52
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If you’re not doing whore in a drawer with your kid’s Bratz doll you’re teaching them the wrong lessons.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:59
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Milo and POTUS posted:They milk themselves nowadays. Couple pages back but they actually microchip cows to make sure they're not overmilked, because they'll happily line up for a second turn. Each cow lines herself up to be milked, gets scanned and hooked up by laser-guided computers, milked, then released. If you don't stop them they'll amble right back to the back of the line again. Also, the vast majority of chickens could not even begin to care less if you took their eggs.
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Dec 27, 2017 19:59
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:She did it wrong, then. The three wise men shouldn't have arrived until 12 days after Christmas (which is why some Orthodox religions don't celebrate Christmas until January 6). If they were super Orthodox, wouldn't they celebrate it in the summer when he was actually born? Rather than in the heathen pagan season chosen for it's marketability?
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Dec 27, 2017 20:03
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SomeJazzyRat posted:If they were super Orthodox, wouldn't they celebrate it in the summer when he was actually born? Rather than in the heathen pagan season chosen for it's marketability? Well, the trouble with that is that no one knows when he was actually supposed to have been born. We only know vaguely "summer-ish" because of the mention of shepherds being in the field at the time. So it'd be hard to pick a definite date.
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Dec 27, 2017 20:16
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:She did it wrong, then. The three wise men shouldn't have arrived until 12 days after Christmas (which is why some Orthodox religions don't celebrate Christmas until January 6). That is not why at all, and it's January 7. The real reason is the Julian calendar.
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Dec 27, 2017 20:19
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DontMockMySmock posted:Well, the trouble with that is that no one knows when he was actually supposed to have been born. We only know vaguely "summer-ish" because of the mention of shepherds being in the field at the time. So it'd be hard to pick a definite date. Isn't the same date as the Easter Bunny's bris?
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Dec 27, 2017 20:20
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Farmdizzle posted:My man, let me tell you about Valentine's Day... One thing that surprised me when I moved to Cincinnati was “Sweetest Day,” which is basically Valentine’s Day on the opposite end of the calendar. And it was created specifically to deal with a lull in the candy business. It seems like a lot of people had no idea it was a local thing either, when I mentioned that it wasn’t something we celebrated where I grew up.
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Dec 27, 2017 20:40
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I don't recall elf on the shelf growing up at all, but I knew a young lady that did. She was probably born around the mid 90s, so elf on the shelf might actually be a tradition for some people.  Edit: does awful app not let you post images? I can't see if the one I posted works. If not, Imagine a picture of someone wanting to write 2018, but they accidentally wrote 2017, so they mangle the seven into an eight. crack mayor has a new favorite as of 20:53 on Dec 27, 2017 |
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Dec 27, 2017 20:50
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:She did it wrong, then. The three wise men shouldn't have arrived until 12 days after Christmas (which is why some Orthodox religions don't celebrate Christmas until January 6). It's certainly possible I am misremembering the details. It was like 20 years ago. She just had WAY too much enthusiasm for this one weird little thing.
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Dec 27, 2017 20:52
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SpacePig posted:Elf on Shelf is primarily for parents who don't feel like actually disciplining their kids, and need a physical totem of Santa's omnipresence to threaten their kids into good behavior. My parents would just have a bunch of wrapped empty boxes under the tree and when one of us would misbehave they would throw the present in the fireplace.
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Dec 27, 2017 20:53
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Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:
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Dec 27, 2017 20:56
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I might have this wrong, but didn't Justinian or somebody like that set Christmas to be around Saturnalia celebrations so that people would more readily accept celebrating it? And then Christmas celebrations became an amalgamation of a bunch of different winter harvest traditions that somehow got associated with Jesus?
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Dec 27, 2017 21:01
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cyberbug posted:The worst manufactured bullshit is Saturnalia / Yule / Winter solstice celebrations having anything to do with Jesus or Christianity
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Dec 27, 2017 21:02
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cyberbug posted:As opposed to absolutely every other Christmas tradition? [/quote] See also: Halloween Easter May Day Valentine's Day
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Dec 27, 2017 21:04
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BrianBoitano posted:Why is the bird thread closed? I don’t know. That is one dapper bird. He is obviously a bird of high quality and social standing. SpacePig posted:I might have this wrong, but didn't Justinian or somebody like that set Christmas to be around Saturnalia celebrations so that people would more readily accept celebrating it? And then Christmas celebrations became an amalgamation of a bunch of different winter harvest traditions that somehow got associated with Jesus? I don’t remember who they said came up with the idea, but from what I remember from the documentaries I’ve seen on the subject, you are correct. It was set up to make the transition to Christianity easier. I can’t remember when gift giving became part of the holiday. My problem with elf on the shelf is that the elf is creepy looking and outdated. It wouldn’t be a problem if it was invented in the 60’s, but it was invented in 2005. Bored has a new favorite as of 21:43 on Dec 27, 2017 |
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Dec 27, 2017 21:31
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Das Boo posted:I feel like the hate piled on the elf thing is a little dramatic since all the same complaints can be made against Santa, a Coke product. I don't even like the dumb thing, but geez. Coca Cola didn't invent a single aspect of Santa Claus. Except for his love of Coca-Cola, but it's not like that's ever represented outside of Coke ads. The most you can say is that they standardized his appearance.
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Dec 27, 2017 21:37
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Guy Goodbody posted:I'm sure that this is totally normal for ladies but I'm a guy and I just found out that women carry around trash bags so they can poop while wearing a gown and I think that's delightful No I'm sorry but that's not right at all. You're not supposed to tear a hole in it, you just hoist it up under your skirt and secure it to your garters and then you can just crap into the bag and deposit it at your convenience and no one's the wiser.
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Dec 27, 2017 21:37
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Ornamental Dingbat posted:
Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine,[1] is an annual holiday celebrated on February 14. It originated as a Western Christian liturgical feast day honoring one or more early saints named Valentinus, What the gently caress is up with you guys? Valentine's Day isn't an appropriated pagan ritual, Coca-Cola didn't invent Santa Claus, if you're still upset about the Christians stealing Saturn-loving-alia in 2017, you've got brain problems. Do you all get your facts from third hand descriptions of Snapple bottle caps?
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Dec 27, 2017 21:42
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I've also watched American Gods, and now I'm an expert on all things mythology. 
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Dec 27, 2017 21:47
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Dec 27, 2017 21:48
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Guy Goodbody posted:
I get all my facts from various listicles.
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Dec 27, 2017 21:49
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CerealCrunch posted:I get all my facts from various listicles. I repeat what I hear at Festivus.
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Dec 27, 2017 22:01
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CerealCrunch posted:I get all my facts from various listicles. You won't believe number 3!
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Dec 27, 2017 22:12
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Guy Goodbody posted:
Saturnalia is for soft southron roundheads. Yule is only true winter solstice festival.
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Dec 27, 2017 22:13
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Guy Goodbody posted:See also: Shouldn't you be posting inscrutable cloud pictures or something? Valentine's Day was preceded by the Roman holiday Lupercalia. Cupid is a super Christian icon too  Pretty much every seasonal holiday can be tied to a Pagan HOLY poo poo WE SURVIVED (SEASON) celebration. Ornamental Dingbat has a new favorite as of 22:30 on Dec 27, 2017 |
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Dec 27, 2017 22:18
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"Is Elf on the Shelf a Christmas Tradition?" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
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Dec 27, 2017 22:25
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Dec 27, 2017 22:29
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Dreddout posted:"Is Elf on the Shelf a Christmas Tradition?" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate, How many doxxes, death threats, de-moddings, and video responses?
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Dec 27, 2017 22:29
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           Maybe NSFW? https://i.imgur.com/pUv8xv8.jpg   
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Dec 27, 2017 22:51
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Samuringa posted:Maybe NSFW? https://i.imgur.com/pUv8xv8.jpg Sexy
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Dec 27, 2017 22:53
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And now for something completely different.
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Dec 27, 2017 22:54
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Dec 27, 2017 23:13
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Earthworm Jim hasn't aged well.
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Dec 27, 2017 23:22
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Pigsfeet on Rye posted:I repeat what I hear at Festivus. So, then, you're ready for the feats of strength?
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Dec 27, 2017 23:23
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Guy Goodbody posted:Coca Cola didn't invent a single aspect of Santa Claus. Except for his love of Coca-Cola, but it's not like that's ever represented outside of Coke ads. The most you can say is that they standardized his appearance. Took me way too literal there, friend.
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Dec 27, 2017 23:59
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Das Boo posted:Took me way too literal there, friend.
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Dec 28, 2017 00:09
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om nom nom posted:...They are the pinnacle of white suburban middle class, picket fence, 2 kids and a dog in Ohio... Is the like having a summer home somewhere? "Oh yeah, we winter in the Aspens, and have a chalet in the south of France. And of course, we have a dog or two in Ohio."
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Dec 28, 2017 00:11
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