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Grumbletron 4000 posted:As a person with a horrible body that fucks sometimes, I wonder what two hot people sex looks like. I imagine it's always in slow motion and very oily. They probably throw their heads back and shake droplets of sex stuff out of their hair very often. Meanwhile I am sweating and grunting while a girl struggles to accept my sex. She might be enjoying it but not as much as we would if we were hot. God, I wanted to help you. I was so on board. gently caress.
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Dec 29, 2017 08:27
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| # ? May 16, 2024 18:48 |
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holy poo poo, where did you get your idea of sex from?
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Dec 29, 2017 08:32
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Grumbletron 4000 posted:As a person with a horrible body that fucks sometimes, I wonder what two hot people sex looks like. I imagine it's always in slow motion and very oily. They probably throw their heads back and shake droplets of sex stuff out of their hair very often. Meanwhile I am sweating and grunting while a girl struggles to accept my sex. She might be enjoying it but not as much as we would if we were hot. This is sad. The fun thing about sex is that all sorts of people have it. Hot people ugly people, tall people short people, couples that climb on rocks...sex is not reserved for ugly people (otherwise there would be no ugly babies, I assume).
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Dec 29, 2017 08:33
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The aug is coming from etc
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Dec 29, 2017 08:33
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Panfilo posted:This is sad. The fun thing about sex is that all sorts of people have it. Hot people ugly people, tall people short people, couples that climb on rocks...sex is not reserved for ugly people (otherwise there would be no ugly babies, I assume). Buddy, that ain't the fun thing about sex.
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Dec 29, 2017 09:18
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one fun thing about sex is getting suffocated by big rear end titties
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Dec 29, 2017 09:34
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Sponge Baathist posted:one fun thing about sex is getting suffocated by big rear end titties 
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Dec 29, 2017 09:38
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Somfin posted:Buddy, that ain't the fun thing about sex. Right! it's the giftbag at the end.
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Dec 29, 2017 09:39
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cash crab posted:Right! it's the giftbag at the end. That was a baby and we told you not to open it.
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Dec 29, 2017 09:40
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Trig Discipline posted:That was a baby and we told you not to open it. Look if you expect me not to open every present a nurse hands me every Christmas is going to blow so pick your battles here
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Dec 29, 2017 09:47
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i hope you didn't throw away the bag you could have made a chili out of it
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Dec 29, 2017 09:54
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Panfilo posted:This is sad. The fun thing about sex is that all sorts of people have it. Hot people ugly people, tall people short people, couples that climb on rocks...sex is not reserved for ugly people (otherwise there would be no ugly babies, I assume). I'm not sad. Just kinda gross. I gently caress a lot just not with hot people. I just imagine that hot people have fucksex on awesome blankets and they don't need to clean up their fluids. They got a person to do that for them.
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Dec 29, 2017 09:57
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Grumbletron 4000 posted:I'm not sad. Just kinda gross. I gently caress a lot just not with hot people. I just imagine that hot people have fucksex on awesome blankets and they don't need to clean up their fluids. They got a person to do that for them. Actually the really hot people only ejaculate febreeze so the cleanup crew isn’t really necessary.
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Dec 29, 2017 10:10
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Grumbletron 4000 posted:I'm not sad. Just kinda gross. I gently caress a lot just not with hot people. I just imagine that hot people have fucksex on awesome blankets and they don't need to clean up their fluids. They got a person to do that for them. Honestly the skinny muscle people are kinda...sharp and pointy. I prefer my fluffier mountain man. He's a lot cuddlier.
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Dec 29, 2017 10:26
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Sponge Baathist posted:one fun thing about sex is getting suffocated by big rear end titties I prefer my head being crushed between someone's thighs
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Dec 29, 2017 10:55
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AUG Thread: So how, precisely, do y'all'n's wanna die whilst fuckin'?
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Dec 29, 2017 10:57
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We Know Catheters posted:I prefer my head being crushed between someone's thighs I wouldn't. Used to date a woman that would go stiff as a board when she finished. A couple of times she had me seriously SERIOUSLY fearing for my life.
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Dec 29, 2017 11:05
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Samizdata posted:I wouldn't. Used to date a woman that would go stiff as a board when she finished. A couple of times she had me seriously SERIOUSLY fearing for my life. Sounds like a keeper 😍
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Dec 29, 2017 11:07
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We Know Catheters posted:Sounds like a keeper 😍 She would have been (other than the headcracker thing), but there was a major issue with that.
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Dec 29, 2017 11:10
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Sponge Baathist posted:one fun thing about sex is getting suffocated by big rear end titties She doesn't like when I do that to her.
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Dec 29, 2017 11:13
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If your sex is anything unlike the sweaty dancing in the second matrix movie you are doing something wrong
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Dec 29, 2017 15:15
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i'm asexual
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Dec 29, 2017 15:17
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Sponge Baathist posted:one fun thing about sex is 
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Dec 29, 2017 15:38
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InevitableCheese posted:If your sex is anything unlike the sweaty dancing in the second matrix movie you are doing something wrong Name/av/post trifecta here
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Dec 29, 2017 15:45
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Lol just lol if you don’t enjoy a good face sitting
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Dec 29, 2017 15:52
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dialhforhero posted:Lol just lol if you don’t enjoy a good face sitting I got so excited when my girlfriend asked to sit on my face, but it made it really hard to see the movie
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Dec 29, 2017 15:59
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sex is AUG as gently caress but that's usually fine and if you can't have fun and laugh when your partner farts or you get a leg cramp then what's the point serious post, porn is not what sex is like at all, I promise you it's kinda sweaty and gross. it is exercise after all
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Dec 29, 2017 16:15
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The Snoo posted:sex is AUG as gently caress but that's usually fine and if you can't have fun and laugh when your partner farts or you get a leg cramp then what's the point I had sex in the back seat of a car last night and man, humor was the only way to get through that. We had to pause to switch from the front to the back (and clean out her incredibly messy back seat), we couldn't move our body parts into any comfortable position, her sports bra got in the way, things that normally take one hand took two, etc. We both had a good time anyway, even though I forgot to take my jacket off (it was around 50 degrees last night) and ended up sweltering.
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Dec 29, 2017 16:38
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The Snoo posted:sex is AUG as gently caress but that's usually fine and if you can't have fun and laugh when your partner farts or you get a leg cramp then what's the point Yeah, this. Really, as long as both people get off, the gross stuff ends up not mattering.
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Dec 29, 2017 16:39
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chitoryu12 posted:IWe had to pause to switch from the front to the back (and clean out her incredibly messy back seat) Oh was it her first time doing anal?
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Dec 29, 2017 16:47
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Sex is the best when it's with someone you can be totally natural with. My wife and I have a joke during sex, based off an old George Carlin bit. "Kiss me, I'm coming, hold me, I'm humming..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuoBbSapgek
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Dec 29, 2017 16:47
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Leavemywife posted:Sex is the best when it's with someone you can be totally natural with. My wife and I have a joke during sex, based off an old George Carlin bit. "Kiss me, I'm coming, hold me, I'm humming..." This reminds me of the time I randomly thought of a George Carlin bit during sex and then sort of ruined the mood from laughing and then I had to explain it. It's when he's going through all of the different and hosed up ways people use the word "poo poo", and in his old man voice, says "I don't know whether to poo poo or wind my watch... Guess I'll poo poo on my watch." gently caress, even now, I can't think of it without laughing.
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Dec 29, 2017 16:55
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:This reminds me of the time I randomly thought of a George Carlin bit during sex and then sort of ruined the mood from laughing and then I had to explain it. Here, have a watch with poo poo
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Dec 29, 2017 17:38
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I just binged about 60 pages of this thread and now i feel completely insane
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Dec 30, 2017 04:06
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I was so horrified I took a 20 min break on Dr Pimple Popper's youtube channel to cool down
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Dec 30, 2017 04:10
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Ignite Memories posted:I just binged about 60 pages of this thread and now i feel completely insane Hey, guess what! http://www.asiaone.com/health/surgeons-discover-tiny-brain-skull-and-hair-japanese-teens-ovary I found this on a Cracked article. It's about a Japanese girl whose ovarian teratoma included a tiny brain! Yay!
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Dec 30, 2017 04:55
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Teratomas are cool. They're like a conjoined twin that got all cronenberged. If I had one I'd name him Kuato.
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Dec 30, 2017 05:34
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cash crab posted:Hey, guess what! Oh Good
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Dec 30, 2017 05:41
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Panfilo posted:Teratomas are cool. They're like a conjoined twin that got all cronenberged. If I had one I'd name him Kuato. If the tumor had teeth, I would name it Vigilant Jim. Any other body parts will be Jodie.
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Dec 30, 2017 05:53
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| # ? May 16, 2024 18:48 |
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I'd definitely keep it in a little jar if it had teeth. I'd be so loving delighted.
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Dec 30, 2017 05:59
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