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beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Crazyweasel posted:

I posted this in GBS thread but real talk, let's say someone (even let's say a neighbor i pissed off) called in that I was holding my family hostage or something.

I see a couple cop cars outside my house from the windows, not knowing what's going on either. What are the actual things I could do to maximize my possibility of not getting shot?

I would think maybe I could call 911 and try to get routed to the police. My wife says get down on the floor spread eagle and never move.

Yea try to make contact with the phone. We had a swatting incident here a few years ago, essentially the same thing as the story reported here except that clearer heads were present and we realized pretty quick that the caller only had basic information about the area and was not in the house. Within 20-30 minutes we’d made contact with the actual residents and learned that the teenaged son was targeted by some other kid on call of duty 🤷🏻‍♂️

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TheObserver
Nov 7, 2012
Apparently the victim originally had his hands raised when he opened the door, before stepping back and dropping them to waist level then raising them again. So, yeah - loving commit to appearing non-threatening, and announce before you do anything.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

also maybe don't shoot people unless they're a threat

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Smiling Jack posted:

also maybe don't shoot people unless they're a threat

Yeah that too I guess

Vahakyla
May 3, 2013

Crazyweasel posted:

My wife says get down on the floor spread eagle and never move.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost

TheObserver posted:

Apparently the victim originally had his hands raised when he opened the door, before stepping back and dropping them to waist level then raising them again. So, yeah - loving commit to appearing non-threatening, and announce before you do anything.

The real lesson is don’t shield your eyes if a giant spotlight is in your face. That dumbass, guess he’s to blame for being killed while unarmed for not committing hard enough to making sure nobody got scaredy.

Watch the video.

uncle w benefits
Nov 1, 2010

hi, it's me, your uncle
No it'll just make me furious.

That cop was out of vacation time.

Eugene V. Dubstep
Oct 4, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 8 years!

mlmp08 posted:

The real lesson is don’t shield your eyes if a giant spotlight is in your face. That dumbass, guess he’s to blame for being killed while unarmed for not committing hard enough to making sure nobody got scaredy.

Watch the video.

He isn't victim-blaming, he's answering a question on how to make yourself appear as unthreatening as possible to a high school dropout with a long rifle, e: bearing in mind that reacting normally and rationally often isn't enough.

Eugene V. Dubstep fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Dec 31, 2017

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost
Had to bring this in here from the Death to America thread






Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013



Reign Of Pain posted:

Had to bring this in here from the Death to America thread








Those men sacrifice years off the back end of their lives in order to expand the amount of gear they can fit on their belts.

True patriots.

Vahakyla
May 3, 2013

Arc Light posted:

Those men sacrifice years off the back end of their lives in order to expand the amount of gear they can fit on their belts.

True patriots.

Fat firefighters, cops, and EMTs are loving disgusting.
Your ability to properly do your job is directly, and greatly, hindered by you being a fat loving slob, yet it's not viewed the same way as just literally leaving paperwork undone or taking 4 hour lunches.

Sacrist65
Mar 24, 2007
Frunnkiss

Vahakyla posted:

Fat firefighters, cops, and EMTs are loving disgusting.
Your ability to properly do your job is directly, and greatly, hindered by you being a fat loving slob, yet it's not viewed the same way as just literally leaving paperwork undone or taking 4 hour lunches.

Are their many/any municipal departments that have an AFPT type requirement? If I was a local politician, this would be something I would request of my police force come contract time.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

Sacrist65 posted:

Are their many/any municipal departments that have an AFPT type requirement? If I was a local politician, this would be something I would request of my police force come contract time.

Usually just to get into a academy.

My union votes that part of the contract down every time it gets proposed by management.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
It’s night of the shotspotter

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013



I started 2018 right. Suspect vehicle took off in the middle of an interstate traffic stop, wrecked out, and the driver led us on a quarter mile foot pursuit. My partner got the driver, I got the passenger. Driver cut himself up pretty badly climbing over a fence, enough to put him in the hospital for stitches.

Why did he run?

He didn't want to get caught with pot. Dude turned a citation into jailtime.

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

maybe it was some baller dank weed that you drat cops were gonna confiscate.

still that's an lol story

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

You didn’t find the drugs he was tossing while running.

The Shep
Jan 10, 2007


If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.

I LOVE COCK SALAD posted:

You didn’t find the drugs he was tossing while running.

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013



Don't harsh my buzz.

:(

Arc Light fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Jan 2, 2018

`Nemesis
Dec 30, 2000

railroad graffiti

Woof Blitzer posted:

It’s night of the shotspotter

https://imgur.com/a/Hpw5L

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost

Look at all of those auto-generated problem tickets

threelemmings
Dec 4, 2007
A jellyfish!

Syrian Lannister posted:

Usually just to get into a academy.

My union votes that part of the contract down every time it gets proposed by management.

What's funny is my whole department would love something like this. The reason it'll never fly is out of shape chief and command staff, who would also be subject to any fitness standard. Our department is overall very fit, you really only start seeing round people at the detective level.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
Fat and manlet cops are hilarious and should be encouraged.



I mean they're still pretty much the human equivalent of rabid dogs but much like dogs its at least funny when they're more stupid looking and ineffectual.

Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Jan 2, 2018

Reign Of Pain
May 1, 2005

Nap Ghost

threelemmings posted:

What's funny is my whole department would love something like this. The reason it'll never fly is out of shape chief and command staff, who would also be subject to any fitness standard. Our department is overall very fit, you really only start seeing round people at the detective level.

Management should be exempt. gently caress leading by example.

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013



The night temperature has been hovering around 18 degrees Fahrenheit for the last week or so.

My department doesn't issue winter jackets or hats, just soft shell windbreakers and baseball caps. It's Louisiana, why would we need cold weather gear?

ffffffff

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Arc Light posted:

The night temperature has been hovering around 18 degrees Fahrenheit for the last week or so.

My department doesn't issue winter jackets or hats, just soft shell windbreakers and baseball caps. It's Louisiana, why would we need cold weather gear?

ffffffff

Gotta just wear long johns under everything

Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?

Reign Of Pain posted:

Management should be exempt. gently caress leading by example.

Explains "Command Staff Only Range Day" :D.

Vahakyla
May 3, 2013
I recommend reading the comments thread for some hardcore LARP.




uncle w benefits
Nov 1, 2010

hi, it's me, your uncle
You have to be more of an idiot to do security than police.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

Seems to me like you all have forgotten that Yellow comes before Blue in the visual spectrum of light. :smug:

https://youtu.be/8jpOmua6r_s

How many times do you think Wal-Mart’s corporate counsel felt faint when they saw that video?

The Shep
Jan 10, 2007


If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.
The only reason you exist as loss prevention is so the corporation gets a break on it's insurance policies. You're not actually supposed to do anything lol

Victor Vermis
Dec 21, 2004


WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN
Walmart loss prevention caught my deaths-door offender smuggling bed sheets into his underpants.

[dumb story]

Do you, loss prevention. Do you.

Victor Vermis fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Jan 3, 2018

Vahakyla
May 3, 2013
I’d imagine only real benefit is the slightly reduced amount of theft from the perceived threat from the security guard.


I worked with a fairly old jolly volly fireman lady who was very unassuming and had gone for lunch and encountered two security guards in a fully kitted Crown Vic cruising a local VA Mall, and she got ”pulled over” by them eventully, then played along until they inspected her wallet and she ruined them.

uncle w benefits
Nov 1, 2010

hi, it's me, your uncle

I HAVE GOOD AIDS posted:

Seems to me like you all have forgotten that Yellow comes before Blue in the visual spectrum of light. :smug:

https://youtu.be/8jpOmua6r_s

How many times do you think Wal-Mart’s corporate counsel felt faint when they saw that video?

LoL 'stop resisting! Loss prevention officers!'

Looks like assault to me. Too bad nobody delivered the refreshing tingle of mace to those Stranger Ranger wannabe cops.

epic bird guy
Dec 9, 2014

Loss prevention's job is to catch employees while pretending to try to catch customers.

uncle w benefits
Nov 1, 2010

hi, it's me, your uncle
Some pro loss prevention

http://i.imgur.com/C2V0IXNh.gif

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

uncle w benefits posted:

LoL 'stop resisting! Loss prevention officers!'

Looks like assault to me. Too bad nobody delivered the refreshing tingle of mace to those Stranger Ranger wannabe cops.

FWIW it looks like the guy they’re trying to detain pulls a knife from his pocket and starts stabbing the one LP dude...

At about :40 the guy drops it, it looked like both guys got cut- i dont think they realized he dropped it, and dude was really trying to fight. From Theft to Felony Assault real quick.



Silver knife on ground.

That said I don’t know why anyone works LP and risks getting killed/sued/etc over smokes/thumb drives/etc...

Dingleberry fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Jan 4, 2018

Victor Vermis
Dec 21, 2004


WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Dingleberry posted:

FWIW it looks like the guy they’re trying to detain pulls a knife from his pocket and starts stabbing the one LP dude...

At about :40 the guy drops it, it looked like both guys got cut- i dont think they realized he dropped it, and dude was really trying to fight. From Theft to Felony Assault real quick.



Silver knife on ground.

That said I don’t know why anyone works LP and risks getting killed/sued/etc over smokes/thumb drives/etc...

uhhhh dude if 2018 GIP is anything like 2017 GIP, this fascist poo poo is only allowed in the COP SHOOT thread.

uncle w benefits
Nov 1, 2010

hi, it's me, your uncle

Dingleberry posted:

FWIW it looks like the guy they’re trying to detain pulls a knife from his pocket and starts stabbing the one LP dude...

At about :40 the guy drops it, it looked like both guys got cut- i dont think they realized he dropped it, and dude was really trying to fight. From Theft to Felony Assault real quick.



Silver knife on ground.

That said I don’t know why anyone works LP and risks getting killed/sued/etc over smokes/thumb drives/etc...

That dummy probably stole truck nuts or something dumb and pulled the knife in defense after being assaulted by those dweebs.

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The Shep
Jan 10, 2007


If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.
You can't defend yourself from an arrest, weirdo.

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