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Ursine Catastrophe posted:all the posts that he'd just need to click "jerk detected" to read? the posts that he quotes anyways? lol Lladre. I have no idea what anyone is talking about with this Derek posting on an alt account thing, didn’t notice. Can someone please show me something that makes sense about that please?
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Jan 2, 2018 22:03
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or just taking a joke post by dusty lens at literal face value
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Beet Wagon posted:Good heavens, there's so many different conversations I could choose to dive into today. 1) Pontificate yogurt and blue cheese in the realm of tacos? 2) As a mod, do I take advice to throw tobasco sauce into gin? 3) What the hell is Irish Smart doing? 4) Is Ben Lesnick, a developer? 5) How the hell to cook a steak? 6) Quote the Moma thing where SQ42 would be released this past summer? 7) Some sort of space lawsuit? 8) Stimpire.txt (always a given) 9) Some other one that chastised someone else doing a meringue the wrong way. 10) And the most unbelievable one...talk about the game and its features.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:03
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C-Bangin' it 
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Gravity_Storm posted:Everyone get to court! We will work out who is suing who later put everyone's aurora keys into a bucket and have a grab bag to see who's going with whom for the inevitable consequences
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Jan 2, 2018 22:03
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aren't we all basically derek alts here anyway
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Jan 2, 2018 22:04
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for whom do the inevitable consequences toll
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Jan 2, 2018 22:04
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TheAgent posted:aren't we all basically derek alts here anyway ...Only in his giant "mathematical and A.I. brain."
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Jan 2, 2018 22:05
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Colostomy Bag posted:
Got you, fam. In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will. Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect. However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps. Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection. All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever. Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed. Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable. Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average. Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule. Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed. The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:07
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History Comes Inside! posted:If derek actually uses the test guy I will buy lod, print the manual and eat it. You do realize that eating 412 pages of 36 x 22 paper with size 2 comic sans font has enough ink to poison 30 people right?
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Jan 2, 2018 22:07
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Lladre posted:So we're just going too pretend Derek never outed his alt by accident yesterday? I rarely read that blowhard's posts. Hot air, piss baby grade trolling that Reddit can't get enough of and mental illness I can opt out of? Yes please, hard pass.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:07
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TheAgent posted:for whom do the inevitable consequences toll If you stare into the abyss too long. We are merely His dark reflection. grimcreaper posted:You do realize that eating 412 pages of 36 x 22 paper with size 2 comic sans font has enough ink to poison 30 people right? Toner's fine, though, right?
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Jan 2, 2018 22:08
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The Saddest Robot posted:Elite Dangerous is technologically impressive, looks slick, and is faithful to the developer's vision. Yup. I've put all of 7 hours into ED but have no regrets buying it. For me it's a nifty wallpaper generator that gave me a sense of awe I haven't felt from a game in a long time, then got bored almost immediately. This is what it was shown to be, I paid for it, and it met my limited expectations as a final product. What a concept!
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Jan 2, 2018 22:09
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Lladre posted:So we're just going too pretend Derek never outed his alt by accident yesterday? If you knew me, you would know that I have *never* had the need to hide myself behind an alt, like all those cowards I'm about to sue do.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:10
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Toops posted:lol Lladre. Dusty Lens posted:How do I pan seer a parp Thoatse posted:You forgot to switch accounts dummy CrazyTolradi posted:
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Jan 2, 2018 22:11
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Colostomy Bag posted:1) Pontificate yogurt and blue cheese in the realm of tacos? It's almost like we should add this as a list of "Common/acceptable topics of conversation" in the OP for new people lol nobody reads the op ManofManyAliases posted:I've never eaten shark before, and likely never again. And, the one shark I fished fed all the parties on my boat - we walked with over 70 steaks. The rest was used by the crew as bait. I'll grant you that you did it in the most ethical way possible, for sure. You should at least get props for that.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:14
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Toops posted:lol Lladre. Dusty Lens posted something that appeared to be a Derek post.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:19
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Still waiting for my paycheck Derek. 
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Jan 2, 2018 22:19
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XK posted:Dusty Lens posted something that appeared to be a Derek post. Has anyone seen or heard from Derek since his gently caress up or is he laying low, hoping it'll fade into obscurity?
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Jan 2, 2018 22:20
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Hav posted:If you stare into the abyss too long. I dont know if toner is edible
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Jan 2, 2018 22:23
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ManofManyAliases posted:Has anyone seen or heard from Derek since his gently caress up or is he laying low, hoping it'll fade into obscurity? Nobody would care anyway. It really did look like a Derek post, but I don't know why he would need an alt. If it is an alt, he's the Andy Kaufman of warlording.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:23
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ManofManyAliases posted:Has anyone seen or heard from Derek since his gently caress up or is he laying low, hoping it'll fade into obscurity? He's frantically calling the lionel hutzes of the world trying to find one that will sue the mean guy on the internet for over 75k in damages to his reputation.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:24
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MedicineHut posted:They do it basically because there is essentially no game. And there is literally nothing else to do. The game does not add anything meaningful to their lives, entertainment or otherwise. But Derek does. This is kind of sad.  So many people looking for validation, and they can’t get the time of day from Roberts, but Derek will happily give each and every one proper attention, even if it is love via lawsuit.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:25
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ManofManyAliases posted:Has anyone seen or heard from Derek since his gently caress up or is he laying low, hoping it'll fade into obscurity? I suggested that the reason he wasn't suing the mean internet man in space court is because they were too busy and he responded with a detailed answer about why it was a good idea to sue him in federal court instead of space court. It was nice.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:26
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I always enjoy when someone pokes the bear.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:27
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Toops posted:lol Lladre. Lol np User must have Platinum to view this message With all thats afoot I'm sure you can see why this is such a sensitive matter now...
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Jan 2, 2018 22:27
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grimcreaper posted:I dont know if toner is edible You need actual hazmat crews to clean up that poo poo. 
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Jan 2, 2018 22:28
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CIG has historically gone with the funnier option if not the funniest. There is zero evidence they haven't already
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Jan 2, 2018 22:28
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So star citizen has now come full circle back to its roots Didn't the first thread include doobies dog house and gamergate ? Where one of the top gamergaters kept screaming allover the internet about being doxxed stalked and threatened so she had to leave her home. But it turned out she lied about it all to create fake drama and boost her online presence? Montoya just playing the role anew
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Jan 2, 2018 22:28
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Your honor, we really don't have a flying gently caress what we are trying to achieve today.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:28
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Sickening posted:HOw did he out it? Somebody said something about court. Obviously Derek Smart.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:30
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Colostomy Bag posted:I always enjoy when someone pokes the bear. It's been a while since there was a sweaty dogpile and/or avatar purchases. We're nearly a couple of days into 2018, so it's due... Thoatse posted:With all thats afoot I'm sure you can see why this is such a sensitive matter now... Holy gently caress, and with that other thing too.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:31
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Virtual Captain posted:CIG has historically gone with the funnier option if not the funniest. There is zero evidence they haven't already Waiting for them to file in the wrong court. Like Roy Moore did.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:33
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The thing about Star Citizen is that at this point is that it has gone on for so long and generated so much insanity that people think you are lying or exaggerating when you try to explain it. Like any one story from this would be hard to believe. Five+ years worth is just too much. *Exceed original goal by a hundred plus million dollars.. still do not have content from original demo in game. *CEO and HR/Marketing director attempt to hide marriage *HR/Marketing director sings Nazi song to Germans *CEO tells HR/Marketing director to just fly first class. HR/Marketing director tells this to media. *Plucky little startup has like 14 offices/divisions/subsidiaries spread across the globe. *In order to prove how honest and straightforward they were as a company, they promised backers that they would release financials in full if they didnt ship by a certain point. When that point came they just deleted all references to that and wrote a new *ironclad* TOS. *Have missed every single date and milestone they have set for themselves. *Accidentally* release dev build to public since it was on an open server *The backers....
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Jan 2, 2018 22:33
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I'm mainly waiting for the cruise ship drinking mixmaster minigame to be made.
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Jan 2, 2018 22:47
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Othin posted:The thing about Star Citizen is that at this point is that it has gone on for so long and generated so much insanity that people think you are lying or exaggerating when you try to explain it. Like any one story from this would be hard to believe. Five+ years worth is just too much. Don't forget the vp of marketing accidently used the company's official kickstarter account to back an expensive llama sweater from Peru or some drat thing
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Jan 2, 2018 23:04
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ManofManyAliases posted:OH NOES he did it again - he doxxed. LOL
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Jan 2, 2018 23:23
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Is this Eric Roberts film destined for the Lifetime/Hallmark channel?
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Jan 2, 2018 23:28
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https://i.imgur.com/kyunbHx.gifv
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Jan 2, 2018 23:28
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Anyone want to start bets on which of these attorneys respond on behalf of CIG/RSI? http://fkks.com/attorneys Take your picks...
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Jan 2, 2018 23:31
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"Same time tomorrow?" "Sure."
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Jan 2, 2018 23:31
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DuckDynasty posted:Anyone want to start bets on which of these attorneys respond on behalf of CIG/RSI? Tanya Forshit
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