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CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Hexenritter posted:

Having just blazed through the four currently available episodes of Grand Tour only to bemoan the wait for more content, I would very much like to see the Grand Soar become a regular thing.

How is it, by the way?

I'm on the fence about subscribing for Prime just to watch the show.

Worth it?

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Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


CourValant posted:

How is it, by the way?

I'm on the fence about subscribing for Prime just to watch the show.

Worth it?

Not just for it but yes it's definitely worth it. Plus the free two day shipping on stuff is very nice.

orcbuster
May 17, 2017

Well I'll definitly try to post more Grand Soar stuff if people want it. I'm a bit afraid of overdoing it though, perhaps once a mission or something.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Hexenritter posted:

Not just for it but yes it's definitely worth it. Plus the free two day shipping on stuff is very nice.

Cool, thanks for the reccie.

orcbuster posted:

Well I'll definitly try to post more Grand Soar stuff if people want it. I'm a bit afraid of overdoing it though, perhaps once a mission or something.

Don't want you to burn out on it, and, yeah, love your Grand Soar stuff.

Now, if there was a way to combine this with the French Foreign Legion troubles brewing in the Med; time for Round Two of the Hundred Year War.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


There's also The Man in the High Castle and many more good things on prime.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

In addition to Grand Tour, Amazon Prime also has a giant Top Gear archive from season 2 up to season 16. In other words, from the season where James May came back to the post-reboot show up to, but not including, the seasons that Netflix has licensed. They also have a bunch of the Top Gear DVD specials, like Perfect Road Trip and the James May Cars of the People documentaries. On top of the other good stuff that's exclusive to it.

I know this because my PS4 has basically turned into an Amazon Prime and Netflix box.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


I bingewatched that while drinking Jim Beam Honey in the year end wind down of 2016. Polished off a whole bottle in one night.

My girlfriend's PS3 is basically our Amazon/Netflix/Hulu box now. We haven't fired up rock band 3 in literally years.

Yooper
Apr 30, 2012




Tonight! Start time is approximate depending on whether or not the goat herders manage to clear the airstrip in time for launch.



You know how those goats are. (Delicious with Smokey Ivan's BBQ Sauce)

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?
Awww yeah, time to start this year off right!!

Yooper posted:

You know how those goats are. (Delicious with Smokey Ivan's BBQ Sauce)[/b]

Sure, its all fun and games until someone sucks up a goat into their air intake.

FOD is everyone's responsibility!

Switzerland
Feb 18, 2005
Do what thou must do.

CourValant posted:

until someone sucks up a goat into their air intake.

Then it's dinner time!

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


If you marinate the goat first you basically get pulled pork. It's fine.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


"mechanically separated" :v:

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Switzerland posted:

Then it's dinner time!

Zaodai posted:

If you marinate the goat first you basically get pulled pork. It's fine.

Hexenritter posted:

"mechanically separated" :v:

So, Goat Strike; a uniquely Eastern European Air Wing deployment problem.

Someone remember to write it down as a HG Lessons Learned.

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


CourValant posted:

So, Goat Strike; a uniquely Eastern European Air Wing deployment problem opportunity.

Dr. Snark
Oct 15, 2012

I'M SORRY, OK!? I admit I've made some mistakes, and Jones has clearly paid for them.
...
But ma'am! Jones' only crime was looking at the wrong files!
...
I beg of you, don't ship away Jones, he has a wife and kids!

-United Nations Intelligence Service

New mission for DT5: Stampede a herd of goats onto an enemy's airport.

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth
Apr 23, 2004

You telling me the acquisitions guys didn't get the cowcatchers on the Russian birds? Christ almighty what kinda two-bit outfit is this?

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
The kind that respects Airman Goatsteak and his contributions to the mission. :colbert:

Yooper
Apr 30, 2012


Going live early. At ~2130 EST.

https://www.twitch.tv/hiredgoons_pmc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=channel?UCiOYtWCdFz_b8BL-AWaaMzg

slothrop
Dec 7, 2006

Santa Alpha, Fox One... Gifts Incoming ~~~>===|>

Soiled Meat
Jesus Christ what is going on with the Meteors

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




slothrop posted:

Jesus Christ what is going on with the Meteors

41 Meteors, 21 Sparrows, 28 ATA kills. The big problem was that the misses were clustered on the second wave that came up after they cleared the bar off of their airfield. If they'd been more evenly distributed we'd have lost fewer planes.

Goat rich exhaust.

slothrop
Dec 7, 2006

Santa Alpha, Fox One... Gifts Incoming ~~~>===|>

Soiled Meat
I only managed to tune in for 5 minutes while I was eating lunch. Guess that was the most hectic 5 minutes of the mission! What was the butchers bill in the end? The F-117 hurrrrrrrrts

orcbuster
May 17, 2017

orcbuster posted:

EXCERPT FROM HG TOWER AT GJADER AIRBASE DURING OPERATION CATLIKE THREAD, RETROACTIVELY KNOWN AS "THE JEZZBAT INCIDENT".


---CLASSIFIED UNTILL THE INEVITABLE INTERNATIONAL BROADCAST---



GJADER: Unknown aircraft heading west at 1400 knots airspeed southeast of our location, this is Gjader tower, identify yourself immediatly and clarify intent or you will be fired upon.


BOGEY:(In a British accent) hang on, I mean standby.


(three minute pause)


BOGEY: (In a fake russian) This is Russian Air Force MIG-25, callsign "Jezzbat". That is very nice base you have there comrade!


GJADER: Uhhhh, repeat that second part I didn't copy that?


BOGEY: I said you have a very nice base! Tell me western dogs! What is favorite part of base!


GJADER: Uhhhh, hold for a bit please (at this point the catlike thread operation staff was notified, initial response was disbelief and concern)


BOGEY: You see I have many missile for Radar boom and have two idiot slow comrades coming after me with many bombs! So I call you to see what you would prefer I hit first!


(At this point it was clear that there were no assets available for intercept and our ground airdefenses would have a hard time engaging the incoming munitions. Unicorn, the mission XO, at this point left his station in a hurry with a panicked look on his face. Crisis response teams were thrown together from whatever locals who were at the base peddling "goods and services" at the time and for some reason Smokey Ivan found his way to our main mission coordinator terminal and in the panic got handed the role of target designator for the gripens, we still have no idea how that happened)


BOGEY: I can smell fear over your silence! We know you know what we think of pests flying where they don't belong and what we do to them. Also, FSB says hello.


(at this point our XO was found in a washing cupboard in a fetal position muttering: "Not the Russians, never again the Russians, Rohan we're joining you!" Repeatedly, and we had just lost our first Akef in the chaos, it was then that the Bogey switched to the wrong channel.)


BOGEY: Well the swedish tourists just called me back and wishes us good luck, oh and they also say that you two are idiots for picking the planes you did.


(30 second pause)


BOGEY: I did just reply and what do you mean Russian accent? (...) Oh poo poo Hang on. (...) mumblerumblestupid (...) ther(cuts off)...


(no further contact was made and the three aircraft passed without incident leaving us to deal with the chaos that catlike thread was quickly becoming, we were however a few days later sent a soundfile alongside a halfhearted apology from which this excerpt was taken)


MAY: You total absolute cock!


HAMMOND: I'd just like to point out that they had that incoming gripen pointed at me (...) Not sure how I feel about that.


CLARKSON: (Tries to contain laughter but fails)


HAMMOND: (almost starts laughing himself) I swear Jeremy I am bringing this piece of crap over to you and I will ram it straight up that drat overgrown flying rodents rear end.


CLARKSON: You'll have to catch up first.


(corresponding with our logs, the foxbat at this point engaged afterburners)


MAY: CLARKSOOOON!



Aftermath is that we're down 4 planes, our XO is on sickleave and I still consider us lucky we got off that easy... Officially we'll have to laugh it off when they air it with maybe a stern warning. No one must ever, EVER! know that Clarkson indirectly nearly made ace in a day against us over a prank radio call... I think I may take a sickday or ten as well come to think of it. It's my turn to go over the new meteor purchase next week...

orcbuster fucked around with this message at 08:20 on Jan 4, 2018

wedgekree
Feb 20, 2013
Aww I'm dead. Can I be put back on the reserve list to get another plane in the future if a spot opens up? Also 28 kills yayyy. I hope we get SOME sort of bonus for that.

Thefluffy
Sep 7, 2014
maybe off topic but I saw this and instantly thought of you guys https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/228269014391062529/398524562129813524/26167205_336610236747764_4170958211039555998_n.png

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

orcbuster posted:

No one must ever, EVER! know that Clarkson indirectly nearly made ace in a day against us over a prank radio call...

Is . . . is this for real??

I had the stream on last night while making dinner and doing 'home-things', wasn't really paying attention.

Did the transcribed actions really go down that way? Because if so, what's the time stamp? I need to go back and re-watch that segment.

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth
Apr 23, 2004

:f5: for the video

Dr. Snark
Oct 15, 2012

I'M SORRY, OK!? I admit I've made some mistakes, and Jones has clearly paid for them.
...
But ma'am! Jones' only crime was looking at the wrong files!
...
I beg of you, don't ship away Jones, he has a wife and kids!

-United Nations Intelligence Service

CourValant posted:

Is . . . is this for real??

Uh...

Maybe? We did get spooked by three planes that blasted by Gjader at one point...

orcbuster
May 17, 2017

CourValant posted:

Is . . . is this for real??

I had the stream on last night while making dinner and doing 'home-things', wasn't really paying attention.

Did the transcribed actions really go down that way? Because if so, what's the time stamp? I need to go back and re-watch that segment.


Well the passage of three oddball planes passing by us (it must have been them. A foxbat, a lightening and a crusader come on) coincided well enough with the events where we started missing like crazy that it was too tempting not to interpret it like that.

Especially since the chat really freaked out once they saw the foxbat. Sometimes the goons reaction should mirror our own.

Our inability to hit anything ingame was of course not mechanically caused by this but we need some sort of reason for our own incompetence. If you ask me it might as well be hilarious.

orcbuster fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Jan 4, 2018

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


orcbuster posted:

Well the passage of three oddball planes passing by us (it must have been them. A foxbat, a lightening and a crusader come on) coincided well enough with the events where we started missing like crazy that it was too tempting to write it like that.

Especially since the chat really freaked out once they saw the foxbat. Sometimes the goons reaction should mirror our own.

Our inability to hit anything ingame was of course not mechanically caused by this but we need some sort of reason for our own incompetence. If you ask me it might as well be hilarious.

In my head it's just the guys from the old UN Sqaudron video game.

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

Zaodai posted:

In my head it's just the guys from the old UN Sqaudron video game.

Hell yeah

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

orcbuster posted:

Well the passage of three oddball planes passing by us (it must have been them. A foxbat, a lightening and a crusader come on) coincided well enough with the events where we started missing like crazy that it was too tempting not to interpret it like that.

Yeah, sounds like them alright.

You know what I love about all this? We've seen enough of their 'challenges' over the past 15 years to know how they like to pick their hardware.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


CourValant posted:

Yeah, sounds like them alright.

You know what I love about all this? We've seen enough of their 'challenges' over the past 15 years to know how they like to pick their hardware.

Have you seen the "unscripted segment" episode of Grand Tour yet?

As always orcbuster that was loving spot on. I lament that Grand Soar is not real

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Hexenritter posted:

Have you seen the "unscripted segment" episode of Grand Tour yet?

Nope. I'm still too cheap to pay for Prime at this time. Unless its on YouTube?

Hexenritter posted:

As always orcbuster that was loving spot on. I lament that Grand Soar is not real

Yeah, the more 'Grand Soar' I read from Orcbuster, the more I forget that its not real and actually start thinking about 'tuning in' to watch the next episode.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

Hexenritter posted:

Have you seen the "unscripted segment" episode of Grand Tour yet?

God that episode was so loving on the nose, it was fantastic.

And I also loved the return of The Scoreboard.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


Cour, you could get a single month for the price of a pretentious coffee and panini. Dooo eeeeet.

@Xarbala holy poo poo that Rimac though, and lmao Hammond will NEVER live that down, or the water in the fuel tank of a supercar incident

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Hexenritter posted:

Cour, you could get a single month for the price of a pretentious coffee and panini. Dooo eeeeet.

I dunno, I see Prime as a 'gate-way' drug.

Once I have it, I'll want to order everything off Amazon just to take advantage of the 2-Day Free Shipping.

Its a blatant attempt to get me to spend more with them, and I don't like it.

***** Edit *****

Also, I like my coffee the way I like my women; hot and cheap. :ninja:

CourValant fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Jan 5, 2018

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


I do enjoy a good coffee flavoured milkshake but I'm a tea guy at heart.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground finely and poured into a plastic cup
... Cold and steeped in a fridge for several days
... Robust enough to qualify as chemically enhanced


Free two day shipping really does tempt me a lot, especially for CDs. I think I accidentally left a CD wallet with a shitload of my music CDs in the Trailblazer when we junked it so now I've got to rebuy a bunch of them and knowing my girlfriend got me prime is the only thing that's softened the blow. That and I've got almost enough Bing reward points for a ten buck gift card so I can get one mostly for free

Hexenritter fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Jan 5, 2018

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Hexenritter posted:

I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground finely and poured into a plastic cup
... Cold and steeped in a fridge for several days
... Robust enough to qualify as chemically enhanced

:stare:

You're on a watch-list somewhere, right?

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


CourValant posted:

:stare:

You're on a watch-list somewhere, right?

More than likely several

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Yooper
Apr 30, 2012




Operation Catlike Tread AAR



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVuj_DS0ADI









In one of our odder exfiltrations, a wave of Meteor's and Sparrows missed. Again. And again. And again. Already statisticians at the Pentagon, Saab, and ESPN, are arguing about the Gamblers Fallacy and potential impacts of localized jammers. But to go back a bit, we infiltrated, were detected before we hit formup, and managed to drop almost all of the hostiles before they could make a run on our boats. At the same time DT5 crashed a Schmohz truck onto the Mihail Kogalniceanu Airport and delay the launch of some particularly deadly MIG's.

Once our sailors started the pirate operation acquisition we took out some BDRM's and an Exocet launcher. Oh and we vaporized the Skjold (pronounced chold) with 4000 lbs of GBU-15. At the same time the Russians saw fit to have an EWAR exercise near Sevastopol that we were notified about like 10 seconds before it happened with a passive aggressive NOTAM.

And then there was a race between a MIG-25, a Lightning F.6, and an RF-8 Crusader. That's right. Grand Soar is in the area. (You need to go back and read orcbuster's prose, it's epic.) The producers have assured me that they won't fire on anyone but will "create interesting aviational situations all the while snarking about".



After recovering from the Los Angeles figgy pudding road rage incident of 2019, the Grand Tour Crew are looking to re-invigorate the brand by capitalizing on the public interest in mercenary conflicts. Expect unarmed shenanigans.

ROMARM is pissed. Actually Victor Fieraru is pissed. Royally pissed. So angry he crushed the neighbors house with a bulldozer pissed. Two things have happened. One, he went onto Romanian public access TV and said he's going to pay anyone to strike our base. And two, he's purchased the entire 3DP production line for MIG-21 Bisons. All of it.

Which presents a problem. Those MIG-21's are nasty.

But when life gives us lemons, we make lemon vodka, or lemon flavored goat. In this case the acquisition of those barges has allowed Arsenal AD to procure the 3DP rights to... Egyptian Mirage 2000EM. So on one hand, no more MIG-21 for us. And on the other, we get access to Mirages instead.

But there are still MIG-21's in the wild, and many many more to come. Already corporate is rumbling worries about those MIG-21's.

And that brings us to the Croctopus Admiral.

He found something.



The location of that recently purchased 3DP facility. We can choose to strike it in our next selection of operations. By doing so we will remove the threat of MIG-21's in the theater.



And the Russians. Even with all that vodka, they don't forget. Jack hit up his contacts in Moscow and they've assured us they aren't going to fire. Not intentionally. But will likely take any opportunity to remind us that they're there, ready to shoot us. Something to be aware of if we ever stray near the Russian border.

For now we're waiting on the mission brief from the Schmohz folks and then we'll get our op details for planning.

Everyone congratulate Davin Valkri on a musically precise mission that went off pretty damned well.



How do you guys want to handle the Russians? Stay at a distance? Strike back? Play the long game and wait for an opening? Something else? (This will determine how much I need to plan the russians in the scenarios)

Yooper fucked around with this message at 17:48 on Jan 5, 2018

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