ryonguy posted:

I always wondered how the hell that passage made it through the various editing the church made in the middle ages. Kinda surprised since they threw out almost everything empowering woman (shout out to Judith) but kept the line of Jesus literally saying "Rich people deserve to go to hell".

Winter Stormer posted:

ryonguy posted:

I always wondered how the hell that passage made it through the various editing the church made in the middle ages. Kinda surprised since they threw out almost everything empowering woman (shout out to Judith) but kept the line of Jesus literally saying "Rich people deserve to go to hell".

AlbieQuirky posted:

Good extortion for soliciting donations from the rich. Remember there was a while where official Church doctrine was that you could buy your way out of Hell (indulgences).

The Vosgian Beast posted:

You mean purgatory. There's no way out hell!

BioEnchanted posted:

To be fair, selling all your possessions is a dumb idea regardless of how much you have, unless your rich enough that your money makes money. Especially in modern times where people increasingly need certain possessions to interact with society. The way Jesus puts it, it sounds like "Be a hermit and starve to death" as opposed to just "Don't be a dick, if you have excess help someone out with it rather than buying a camel and a needle and trying to experiment." Then again he describes it as "To be perfect" so he's probably making a point about perfection itself being unobtainable but also giving hints on how to be better. No one would give all their poo poo away, I'm sure the wise men would have been offended that Jesus regifted their frankincense and Myrrh.

Strom Cuzewon posted:

*10,000 words about how actually the 'Eye of the Needle' was just a gate in Jerusalem that was a bit tricky to negotiate with a fully laden camel and therefore it's just tricky for a rich man to get into Heaven, not, heh, impossible, like the loony left would have you believe*

Tunicate posted:

Well I mean if you have the opportunity to literally hang out with God it seems like that should be your #1 priority yeah.

Sagebrush posted:

this was one of my mom's primary justifications for joining a cult, ama

Barudak posted:

How hot was the cults god?

Zore posted:

Jesus was a doomsday prophet and Christianity in general believed the world would end within the lifetime of people living for about a hundred years until it didn't happen and they kinda phased that out.

See also: a bunch of Paul's letters where he tells people not to have kids cause they're gonna die soon anyways.

Early Christianity was all about doing weird and unsustainable things since gently caress it, the apocalypse was coming

quote:

The Circumcellions had thought long and hard about the 'path' to heaven, and realized that there was a loophole. It was clear that the Bible gave a straight path to heaven if one is a martyr, and so martyrdom became the sole aspiration of the Circumcellions, which they regarded as the ONLY Christian virtue - thus rejecting the primacy of chastity, sobriety, humility, and charity.

Because Jesus had told Peter to put down his sword in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Circumcellions avoided bladed weapons and used clubs. They took to fashioning absolutely massive wooden clubs, which they called "Israelites", and would hide along well-traveled trading paths waiting for unwary travelers to come along. When they saw a victim, they would jump out and beat them with their clubs while shouting "Deo laudes!" ("Praise God!"). The goal was not to take anything, not to kill the person - only to beat and annoy them enough to goad them to fight back, and hopefully, kill them and thus make them a martyr. It was the ultimate way into heaven, after all, and it was considered a special blessing if the person doing the killing was a member of the church or any variety of town official.

C.M. Kruger posted:

One STRANGE TRICK to get into the holy kingdom!

quote:

UNDYING FLAGELLANT

Unable to fully reach true devotion, and resultantly undeserving of entry to the Kingdom, the Brotherhood of the Holy Scourge divined a method of self abuse that would cleanse them of sin, but send them into a state of half death. Wandering the land and collecting alms, the undying monks seek worthiness through their self debasement. They deceive themselves with notions of piety, but secretly derive pleasure through their pain. This sin of pleasure negates their purpose, and their path has cost them their mortality, binding them to the earth, and robbing them of any chance to die and ascend.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Didn't Night Travels of the Elven Vampire also have a sequel/rewrite that she covered?

Trauma Dog 3000 posted:

FrozenVent posted:

Reminder that crevette is the French word for shrimp.

chitoryu12 posted:

I thought that was "une petite pâtisserie"?

BioEnchanted posted:

There was a kids book I read ages ago set in Whitby called Clock of Doom that I remember being actually kind of interesting - it was about a clock tower carved from pure obsidian that was evil for some reason, and it hid itself by speeding up local time until a massive forest surrounded it, keeping it hidden for hundreds of years. (It's power was that it could manipulate time) It had a neat climax surrounding what it called it's Dance of Death, in which it hypnotises a bunch of people into circling it, and rapidly fucks with time causing them to rapidly age and regress from extreme old age to extreme infancy - the main character tries to stop it by climbing it, but is constantly being affected by the dance, so at times his hands will be too decrepit to grip a handhold properly or he'll become too young and helpless to understand what he's doing.

It was definitely interesting. Can't recall if it was good or not. Did anyone else ever read that?

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

The day I stop finding this joke funny is the day I cash out on life.

Strom Cuzewon posted:

Did it start with the dude with the shrimp avatar, or is there something else I'm missing?

there wolf posted:

There's another passage where a woman bathes Jesus' head with an expensive perfume and the Disciples yell at her because she could have sold it and given the money to the poor, and Jesus chews them out for it because "you will always have poor, but you will not always have me."

Maxwell Lord posted:

I always read that as "Hey, relax, there'll be plenty of poor people left when I'm gone." If anything it's an argument against strict fanatical utilitarianism- do a good thing, don't worry about it not being the most optimal thing you can do.

BioEnchanted posted:

There was a kids book I read ages ago set in Whitby called Clock of Doom that I remember being actually kind of interesting - it was about a clock tower carved from pure obsidian that was evil for some reason, and it hid itself by speeding up local time until a massive forest surrounded it, keeping it hidden for hundreds of years. (It's power was that it could manipulate time) It had a neat climax surrounding what it called it's Dance of Death, in which it hypnotises a bunch of people into circling it, and rapidly fucks with time causing them to rapidly age and regress from extreme old age to extreme infancy - the main character tries to stop it by climbing it, but is constantly being affected by the dance, so at times his hands will be too decrepit to grip a handhold properly or he'll become too young and helpless to understand what he's doing.

It was definitely interesting. Can't recall if it was good or not. Did anyone else ever read that?

Tardigrade posted:

Wow, I’ve read it! Can’t recall if it was actually good or not but the whole loving with time thing was pretty scary to me at the time. I think the clock starts aging people so much that they become skeletons and crumble into dust, only to turn them back into babies and start over again? The cover was badass too.

Trauma Dog 3000 posted:

hackbunny posted:

Oh boy

Slime posted:

In theory this would mean characters act like people and things don't happen at random and there's a bit more nuance to the villains than them just being generic bad guys. In practice, the protagonist will be an autistic robot who cruises through life because ~rational actor~ and the villains will be bad because they think the protagonist is a shitcock. Everyone else will fellate the protagonist because he's so rational and smart.