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Interviewer: [Foodline test room at LAPD cafateria] Officer K-D-six-dash-three-dot-seven, let's begin. Ready? K: Yes, sir. Interviewer: Recite your foodline. K: And blood-black grease began to sizzle... A system of burgs deep fried within burgs deep fried within burgs deep fried within one kitchen... And dreadfully distinct against the grease, a tall white soda fountain sprayed. Interviewer: Burgs. K: Burgs. Interviewer: Have you ever been to a McDonalds? Burgs. K: Burgs. Interviewer: Do you sit at the booth or table? Burgs. K: Burgs. Interviewer: When you're not performing your duties do you eat cereal straight out of the box? Burgs. K: Burgs. Interviewer: Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: What's it like to hold a big juicy burg with two hands? Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: Did they teach you how to lick your fingers of the grease? Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: Do you long for having your stomach coated in grease? Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: Do you dream about being fat? Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: What's it like to hold a burrito in your arms? Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: Do you feel that there's a part of you that's always hungry? Deep fried. K: Deep fried. Interviewer: Within burgs deep fried. K: Within burgs deep fried. Interviewer: Why don't you say that three times: Within burgs deep fried. K: Within burgs deep fried. Within burgs deep fried. Within burgs deep fried. Interviewer: We're done... Constant K, you can pick up your bonus order of french fries. K: Thank you, sir. Koishi Komeiji fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Jan 3, 2018
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# ? Jan 3, 2018 19:20 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:46 |
hahaha golden toasted buns
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# ? Jan 3, 2018 20:13 |
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Blade Runner about food: I love all of these but this one in particular is killing me! |
# ? Jan 3, 2018 20:55 |
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Blade Runner about food: Koishi Komeiji posted:Interviewer: [Foodline test room at LAPD cafateria] Officer K-D-six-dash-three-dot-seven, let's begin. Ready? Ahahha drat |
# ? Jan 3, 2018 21:43 |
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I've eaten things you people wouldn't believe. XXL Chalupas with fire sauce off the Bell of Tacozia . I ate my way out of a roast beef prison littered with flying buffalo bones near the Arby's Gate. All my frequent eater punchcards with one punch remaining will be lost in thyme, like fizz in the champagne. Time to dine.
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# ? Jan 3, 2018 22:10 |
careful with this one gaff, he's a goddamn one-man slaughterhouse did you get your precious pho? someone was there men? poultry...men? ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 3, 2018 22:16 |
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make the threadddd
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# ? Jan 3, 2018 22:31 |
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sebmojo posted:make the threadddd https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3845470 |
# ? Jan 3, 2018 22:52 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:The rest of the BK Kids Club beating "Wheels" into the gang. cda posted:Bick Spurlington ran towards the Teleporter. But first, he stopped at the replicator and made a ham. Then he ate the ham. It was salty and delicious. Red lights flashed all around him as a mechanical female voice intoned "Hull Breach Imminent. Hull Breach Imminent." There was no time to lose. He replicated Honey-Poached Pears with Hazelnut Butter and a Buttermilk Ice Cream. The exquisite mouthfeel of the warm pears melting into the chill ice cream reminded him of his childhood on the planet F'run G'farr. There were only seconds left before the starship's exterior lost its integrity. Wasting no time, he waddled in a satisfied manner towards the Teleporter and punched in the coordinates for the nearest McDonalds. lol
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# ? Jan 4, 2018 14:53 |
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These last couple pages have been consistently good
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
# ? Jan 4, 2018 21:16 |
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A parrot that only repeats things you will say in the future |
# ? Jan 4, 2018 21:58 |
FactsAreUseless posted:A parrot that only repeats things you will say in the future It's just going to say Polly wanna cracker like it always did |
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# ? Jan 4, 2018 22:54 |
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"This is a cut throat place to work and you need to have your guard up every minute." "Is it really that competitive?" "No, there's a bobcat in the vents." |
# ? Jan 5, 2018 00:20 |
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"This is a cut throat place to work and you need to have your guard up every minute." "So, according to this memo, we have mandatory overtime this week?" "Ah, no, the printer smeared that sentence. We have mandatory wolverine all week." ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 00:59 |
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"My lawyer is such a snake." "OK look this whole town is driving me nuts, do you mean literally?" "What? No. He's just really crooked." "Oh, OK because..." "Biologically he's a brown bear." |
# ? Jan 5, 2018 01:18 |
*A live jaguar casually strolls through the cubicle aisles, printer paper taped to its side* "Oh, cool! Free donuts in the bird-of-prey breakroom!" ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 01:53 |
Just chatting with the person across the way on lunch break... Him: "I'm always doodling, you know? So lately, I've been thinking of trying my hand at making a webcomic." Me: "Sounds neat. What's it going to be about?" Him: "Well, a lot of kooky stuff happens at this place, you know?" Me: "Yeah, definitely." Him: "So I've been doing some thinking, and I bet there's a lot of funny stuff a person can write about a zoo that's like an office environment!" Me: *Facepalming inwardly* ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 01:59 |
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A man named Splench Gormbubble being named to the Supreme Court. |
# ? Jan 5, 2018 15:33 |
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Third Circuit judge Splench Gormbubble walking into the Senate now. Observe his trademark style, still on display even here. |
# ? Jan 5, 2018 15:34 |
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Splench is showing members of the Senate each side of his "decision coin." "I put a thumbs up on this side with the text 'sounds good.' The other side has a frowny face and the text 'I don't think so, Tim'."
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 16:07 |
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Brown vs. the Board of Education, Roe vs. Wade, Gormbubble vs. Orgsploch
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 16:08 |
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Mythbusters Episode where they try to determine if the desire for Corn Pops can lead someone to commit murder. Adam will flee with Jamie's corn pops into the forest. Will Jamie hunt Adam like the Predator? *teaser shot of a later moment in the episode* Jamie (coated in mud and nearly completely camouflaged) "I will hunt Adam like the Predator. I've gotta have my pops"
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 16:21 |
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[Children of the corn syrup are standing over a badly beaten adult, while giggling] Beaten clueless adult: What's wrong with you kids? They don't taste like apples. Why do you kids like Apple Jacks? Children of the corn sryup (calmly in unison): We just do.
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 17:06 |
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Koishi Komeiji posted:[Children of the corn syrup are standing over a badly beaten adult, while giggling] Children of the corn syrup, breathing heavily: Ehh, just let em go. We need to sit down. |
# ? Jan 5, 2018 17:41 |
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"This is a cut throat place to work and you need to have your guard up every minute." ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 17:44 |
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Koishi Komeiji posted:[Children of the corn syrup are standing over a badly beaten adult, while giggling]
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 17:47 |
Sen. Grassley: Now, Judge Gormbubble...in your time in the 7th Circuit Court, you articulated a principle of jurisprudence you called the....uh... Gormbubble: The Gormbubble Rule, Senator. Sen. Grassley: Yes, the Gormbubble rule. Would you mind explaining that rule? Gormbubble: Certainly. The rule is as follows: When you Spench on your dench, you better gibidoo on the clicky-clack or nits'll gonna gitcha. Sen. Grassley: I have no further questions. ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 17:47 |
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children from the cinnamon toast crunch generation grow up and as adults can somehow no longer see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch as that generation slowly comes into power politically they bring all of mankind's efforts to bear on the problem, most of the scientific and even military research budget is devoted to what becomes known as mankind's ultimate question finally an announcement is made: our quantum scanners have determined that there exist cinnamon sugar swirls, in every bite, in a dense packing arrangement previously not thought possible, an explanation never before suspected nor seen by adult kind the world rejoices, and a la the space race a lot of the scientific advancements that were made to answer this question become useful elsewhere in science, leading to a new golden age in the world
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 17:50 |
Mr Gorbachev, tear down this bathroom stall! i have to flip this house fast before the contras come for their money
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# ? Jan 5, 2018 18:11 |
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Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! *The General Secretary of the USSR busts through a wall, Kool-Aid style* |
# ? Jan 5, 2018 18:24 |
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Trapdoor Spiderman
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
# ? Jan 7, 2018 19:51 |
Funnel spiderman did spiderman ever have a villain thats a hunter of rare prey? i know there was a guy like that for one or two heroes. make it Steve Irwin for him ---------------- |
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# ? Jan 7, 2018 20:34 |
got any sevens posted:Funnel spiderman Kraven the hunter |
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# ? Jan 7, 2018 20:42 |
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are you the shelves at walgreens? because I stalk you at night |
# ? Jan 8, 2018 00:05 |
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spider monkey man |
# ? Jan 8, 2018 00:31 |
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Kraven the Burger |
# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:28 |
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i heard if you don't want god lookin' at you just keep a cut onion nearby
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# ? Jan 8, 2018 16:26 |
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got any sevens posted:Funnel spiderman Remember when (dial m for) Monkey had such a villain |
# ? Jan 8, 2018 16:56 |
You know those restaurants that treat you like poo poo as a gimmick? What about if other types of places did that. Magician pulling out the wrong card: "what do you mean this isn't it? Look it's not my fault you got the memory of a gold fish. Get off my stage. For my next trick I'll need a volunteer to saw in half. No not you, you're too fat, I'll never get through you in one day. " Car salesman: "look Buddy I'm going to be honest. You're balding, your pudgy, and you smell like the inside of a jock strap. This mustang is your last chance at getting laid. " |
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# ? Jan 8, 2018 23:01 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:46 |
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I've never owned long johns before, but I've often had cold nuts. I hope to change that. |
# ? Jan 9, 2018 02:08 |