Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

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Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

Coinbase/GDAX Warning - $50,000 Wire DEPOSIT Missing Since December 12th

Verified account. US account. I've wired tens of thousands to it before. Suddenly, a $50,000 wire is still not credited with no resolution or support from Coinbase. It's been 3 weeks.

Check my post history. I've sent wire documents, had the bank trace the wire (Coinbase has the money), forwarded these documents to Coinbase support, and still get no help. I request a direct contact number for support, no reply. No help through phone support. I'm pretty much getting a "kick rocks" treatment by Coinbase.

Everyone thinks this kind of stuff won't happen to them until it does.

EDIT: Upvoting for visibility would be greatly appreciated. Perhaps then someone from Coinbase can help resolve the issue. Thank you.

Edit #2: Case 3077489

Oh boy I was going to make a post too. I had my $40,000 wire deposit missing since October 30th. Contacted them via email 5 times, no help there. Called over 7 times on the phone and their phone support is nonexistent, tried twitter, support ticket, EVERYTHING! I recently just posted in /legaladvice hoping to get some help to on this case.

Sorry if I'm piggy riding your post too but if you guys can help me by up voting this comment I'd highly appreciate it.

Case #3218357

If worst come to worst, I would go to their office at 548 Market St #23008, San Francisco, CA 94104 and find someone directly to do it. And then also have them reimburse you for travel.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 14:25

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# ? May 23, 2024 23:50

divabot: Jun 17, 2015; A polite little mouse!

TACD posted:

Homest question, is Bitcoin regulated in any way yet? I know people keep talking about but I have no idea if anything has actually happened.
Like if Coinbase just decided �cool we�re done� and shutdown or �accidentally� lost everybody�s private keys would they even be liable for anything?

Gobbeldygook posted:

Bitcoins are property. Coinbase deciding to steal everyone's bitcoins would not be meaningfully different from a guy who owns a storage facility deciding to just steal stuff from storage units.

yeah, they're a commodity per the CFTC. They're an ownable thing.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 14:34

Andy Dufresne: Aug 4, 2010; The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die

Gobbeldygook posted:

Bitcoins are property. Coinbase deciding to steal everyone's bitcoins would not be meaningfully different from a guy who owns a storage facility deciding to just steal stuff from storage units.

You can't be serious here. Physical theft requires being on site, leaving evidence behind, being potentially recorded by cameras, and most importantly being local. Police can do investigate physical thefts every day and they catch people which is a pretty good deterrent.

Your bitcoin thief is almost certainly in eastern Europe and there's not a police force in the world that's going to help you. There's basically no risk to the attacker so there are a ton of them out there.

Here's a fun experiment. Make a fake reddit account and post on /r/bitcoin that you have a few coins and you're looking for the safest place to exchange them. Count the scammers that private message you. Do the same on /r/investments saying you've got $100k to invest. Count the scammers that private message you.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 15:14

revwinnebago: Oct 4, 2017

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Well we've arrived in 2018 and Divabot is still claiming you can't get your money out of cryptos, because they're a ponzi

Some things aren't all that different this year it seems

Sentient Data posted:

Coinbase/GDAX Warning - $50,000 Wire DEPOSIT Missing Since December 12th

I had my $40,000 wire deposit missing since October 30th.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 15:21

Mr Teatime: Apr 7, 2009

If you go on the coinbase reddit the entire thing is people talking about missing wire transfers and no response from coinbase. This is both cool and normal and coinbase is not dumb as heck.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 15:59

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Mr Teatime posted:

If you go on the coinbase reddit the entire thing is people talking about missing wire transfers and no response from coinbase. This is both cool and normal and coinbase is not dumb as heck.

Whoever says you can't get your money out is a loving liar.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:05

zaurg: Mar 1, 2004

JFC!!! Goons I need help. What can I say to my dad who is about to withdraw money out of his retirement account to put into crypto? He put 20k of savings into it LESS THAN A WEEK AGO and has seen it go up and today calls me convincing himself that it's silly to keep money in 401k/retirement "making only 10%". I want him to just be happy loving around with 20k into it. What reasons can I give him to settle the gently caress down

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:12

wide stance: Jan 28, 2011; If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then he will do it that way.

Mr Teatime posted:

If you go on the coinbase reddit the entire thing is people talking about missing wire transfers and no response from coinbase. This is both cool and normal and coinbase is not dumb as heck.

That's normal. The few unlucky people who got their transfer hosed up are burning the place down as to be expected.

The 99.9% of people who don't have this happen aren't going to post about it, just moved on with life.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:15

Mr Teatime: Apr 7, 2009

Sickening posted:

Whoever says you can't get your money out is a loving liar.

I personally have a random SEPA payment thats been held as pending for about a month now but okay. :allears:

So I retract my slander. You totally can send money in and out of coinbase except when they gently caress it up and ghost you.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:17

zmcnulty: Jul 26, 2003

is "my dad" the new "asking for a friend" or something, do you really need more evidence beyond this very thread?

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:18

zaurg: Mar 1, 2004

zmcnulty posted:

is "my dad" the new "asking for a friend" or something, do you really need more evidence beyond this very thread?

it's my dad for real

i haven't read the thread. just kinda panicking.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:24

Andy Dufresne: Aug 4, 2010; The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die

zaurg posted:

JFC!!! Goons I need help. What can I say to my dad who is about to withdraw money out of his retirement account to put into crypto? He put 20k of savings into it LESS THAN A WEEK AGO and has seen it go up and today calls me convincing himself that it's silly to keep money in 401k/retirement "making only 10%". I want him to just be happy loving around with 20k into it. What reasons can I give him to settle the gently caress down

Honestly there's nothing you can say that will be as convincing as the YouTube videos he's watched. You need to convince him to speak with a real financial advisor.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:24

FogHelmut: Dec 18, 2003

Weed stocks jumped due to California, now the keebler elf AG said hes going to gently caress with states that legalized it, and stocks are down.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:25

TraderStav: May 19, 2006; It feels like I was standing my entire life and I just sat down

zaurg posted:

it's my dad for real

i haven't read the thread. just kinda panicking.

So your money issues are genetic? I�m not surprised.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:25

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

zaurg posted:

JFC!!! Goons I need help. What can I say to my dad who is about to withdraw money out of his retirement account to put into crypto? He put 20k of savings into it LESS THAN A WEEK AGO and has seen it go up and today calls me convincing himself that it's silly to keep money in 401k/retirement "making only 10%". I want him to just be happy loving around with 20k into it. What reasons can I give him to settle the gently caress down

Your inheritance will be huuuuge. You should thank him.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:28

FogHelmut: Dec 18, 2003

zaurg posted:

JFC!!! Goons I need help. What can I say to my dad who is about to withdraw money out of his retirement account to put into crypto? He put 20k of savings into it LESS THAN A WEEK AGO and has seen it go up and today calls me convincing himself that it's silly to keep money in 401k/retirement "making only 10%". I want him to just be happy loving around with 20k into it. What reasons can I give him to settle the gently caress down

If you're just finding out about crypto now, it's because it's too late, and the current investors need more rubes to send their own values up and provide liquidity so they can exit.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:31

Jikes: Dec 18, 2005; candy of the ocean

zaurg posted:

it's my dad for real

i haven't read the thread. just kinda panicking.

Explaining it's unregulated might help, a lot of older people either went through the Depression or heard their parents talk about it and they understand why FDIC is a good thing. Tell him the MtGox story and how unlike a regular bank, he either has to keep these coins safe himself or trust an exchange run by a bunch of millennial hipsters to do it for him, and if they gently caress it up his money is gone with no recourse to the government or anyone else. I talked an uncle out of dumping his 401k into btc by googling "mtgox horror stories", reading him the top hits, and showing him Karpeles' picture. Emphasize that there is nothing preventing another MtGox style disaster at any of the exchanges.

http://www.businessinsider.com/mt-gox-commenters-2014-3

https://www.dailydot.com/business/bitcoin-crash-i-lost-everything-mt-gox/

FogHelmut posted:

Weed stocks jumped due to California, now the keebler elf AG said hes going to gently caress with states that legalized it, and stocks are down.

For real, that miserable little shitweasel needs to burn in hell. gently caress Jeff Sessions.

Jikes fucked around with this message at 16:37 on Jan 4, 2018

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:34

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

wide stance posted:

That's normal. The few unlucky people who got their transfer hosed up are burning the place down as to be expected.

The 99.9% of people who don't have this happen aren't going to post about it, just moved on with life.

It is not normal. That's a catastrophic failure rate for a basically any institution that handles customer money.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:35

zaurg: Mar 1, 2004

Jikes posted:

Explaining it's unregulated might help, a lot of older people either went through the Depression or heard their parents talk about it and they understand why FDIC is a good thing. Tell him the MtGox story and how unlike a regular bank, he either has to keep these coins safe himself or trust an exchange run by a bunch of millennial hipsters to do it for him, and if they gently caress it up his money is gone with no recourse to the government or anyone else. I talked an uncle out of dumping his 401k into btc by googling "mtgox horror stories", reading him the top hits, and showing him Karpeles' picture. Emphasize that there is nothing preventing another MtGox style disaster at any of the exchanges.

http://www.businessinsider.com/mt-gox-commenters-2014-3

https://www.dailydot.com/business/bitcoin-crash-i-lost-everything-mt-gox/

Thank you good stuff. I'm going to spam him all day with this stuff.

TraderStav posted:

So your money issues are genetic? I�m not surprised.

Correct. This is more confirmation I'm not adopted.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:44

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

zaurg posted:

it's my dad for real

i haven't read the thread. just kinda panicking.

I vote for bamboozling him with technospeak.

"That's a lot of money, dad. Make sure not to give anybody your private key, OK? Are you using a hardware wallet or at least encrypting your hard drive? You know you don't have to run a full node, right? Have you thought about mining your own coins? Just make sure you join a reputable pool and don't get scammed into buying a lovely ASIC.

�well I know it's confusing dad but you're putting a lot of money into this, it's important! You wouldn't want to invest in something you don't understand, would you?"

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:49

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Just tell him you'll invest it for him then spend it all on weed and butts

# ? Jan 4, 2018 16:51

Often Abbreviated: Dec 19, 2017; 1st Severia Tank Brigade
"Ghosts of Honcharivske"

I've a work colleague who's ballooned his savings from ~�7000 to something like ~�30,000 over the past few weeks on one of the altcoins. I know this poo poo is gonna crash eventually but it's hard keeping out when you see someone else doing so well right in front of you.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:07

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Mr Teatime posted:

I personally have a random SEPA payment thats been held as pending for about a month now but okay.

So I retract my slander. You totally can send money in and out of coinbase except when they gently caress it up and ghost you.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:10

Mr Teatime: Apr 7, 2009

How is a man supposed to keep track of what is sarcasm and what isn't in a thread like this. Much like how coinbase can't keep track of its customers money.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:14

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

zaurg posted:

it's my dad for real

i haven't read the thread. just kinda panicking.

just say "hey dad you know what, that's a great idea... I did a lot of reading about it and actually how would you feel about me handling it for you? I'll invest in whatever coins you want and make sure you get some sort of monthly statement"

then falsify some statements, invest all his money in weed stocks, and when the crypto market crashes and he panics, reveal his money is safe and blaze one up with him

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:14

Inept: Jul 8, 2003

wide stance posted:

That's normal. The few unlucky people who got their transfer hosed up are burning the place down as to be expected.

The 99.9% of people who don't have this happen aren't going to post about it, just moved on with life.

Or, every one out of 1000 withdrawals or deposits fails and is never looked into.

Wow that sounds great sign me up!

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:15

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

cracked coinbases secret wire transfer code

code:

const depositWireFunds = (user, funds) => {
    var x = getCounterFromDatabase();

    if (x > 1000  && funds.amount > 10000) {
        setCounterInDatabase(0);
        depositFundsInCorporateAccount(funds);
    } else {
        setCounterInDatabase(x+1);
        depositFundsInUserAccount(user, funds);
    }
}

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:29

divabot: Jun 17, 2015; A polite little mouse!

Mr Teatime posted:

How is a man supposed to keep track of what is sarcasm and what isn't in a thread like this. Much like how coinbase can't keep track of its customers money.

put it on a buttchain

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:30

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

Mr Teatime posted:

How is a man supposed to keep track of what is sarcasm and what isn't in a thread like this. Much like how coinbase can't keep track of its customers money.

there's no sarcasm, we're all very serious about butts

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:31

Party Boat: Nov 1, 2007; where did that other dog come from

who is he

Often Abbreviated posted:

I've a work colleague who's ballooned his savings from ~£7000 to something like ~£30,000 over the past few weeks on one of the altcoins. I know this poo poo is gonna crash eventually but it's hard keeping out when you see someone else doing so well right in front of you.

Has he actually cashed out yet because otherwise his savings have gone from £7,000 to £0

# ? Jan 4, 2018 17:32

ryde: Sep 9, 2011; God I love young girls

My guess is that trying to get him to divest from crypto altogether would be like tilting at windmills. Thats been my experience. I'd go with the tactic of encouraging diversification in order to limit the damage. Point out that at his age he needs to make sure risk of overall portfolio is low, point out that crypto is super volatile, and then advocate for a decent allocation that involves equities, bonds, and a small amount of crypto. This has the benefit of making him feel like a savvy investor instead of a rube, so its much more likely that he'll do that.

Just pelting him with evidence about how terrible cryptocurrencies are is unlikely to change his mind and will more than likely make him dig in his heels.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 18:00

pr0zac: Jan 18, 2004; ~*lukecagefan69*~; Pillbug

Often Abbreviated posted:

I've a work colleague who's ballooned his savings from ~�7000 to something like ~�30,000 over the past few weeks on one of the altcoins. I know this poo poo is gonna crash eventually but it's hard keeping out when you see someone else doing so well right in front of you.

I know a person that put a down payment on a house and another that bought a new BMW X5 both with earnings from ethereum. I also know a guy that made $50k playing slots in Vegas one weekend. All of these people have one thing in common.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 18:06

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Often Abbreviated posted:

I've a work colleague who's ballooned his savings from ~�7000 to something like ~�30,000 over the past few weeks on one of the altcoins. I know this poo poo is gonna crash eventually but it's hard keeping out when you see someone else doing so well right in front of you.

It's low-information gambling. If you have some money you can afford to lose then go find some cheap-rear end coin that sounds like the bullshit might push it in the right direction and hop on.

If your colleague can't afford to lose that �7k he's going to have a really upsetting time when the price starts to drop or he wants to cash out in general and he realises it's harder to get money out than to put it in.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 18:09

Papa Was A Video Toaster: Jan 9, 2011

pr0zac posted:

I know a person that put a down payment on a house and another that bought a new BMW X5 both with earnings from ethereum. I also know a guy that made $50k playing slots in Vegas one weekend. All of these people have one thing in common.

Ooh, ooh. I know this one! They're not real!

# ? Jan 4, 2018 18:28