/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Kazzah: Jul 15, 2011; Formerly known as
Krazyface; Hair Elf

Ride The Gravitron posted:

UPDATE: My(25) BF(28) won't ask for my hand in marriage so my Dad(51) is staging a family boycott of my wedding. Is my BF being disconsiderate?

u/throwawayandpanic

original post is here,/r/relationships/comments/26pydf/my_bf_m25_wont_ask_for_my_hand_and_my_dad_m48_is/

The wedding went on as planned. My parents stuck to their guns and boycotted. One of my two sisters attended and is now happily blacklisted from our family. Nobody else from my entire family showed up including my two brothers.

The wedding was a little unconventional. My sister walked my husband down the aisle and then his sister walked me down the aisle. I wanted this because my SIL actually introduced us and helped me get my first date with him. There was no questioned about who gives away the bride or even about objections. It was normal other than that. There has been no contact between me and my family, other than my one sister. My mother has made it a point to send me a card every time that they have a family gathering for holidays or birthdays at their house to let me know that my father says I'm not invited. I get one almost every month. I don't even read them anymore I just toss them. I don't why they keep sending them because I've made no effort to contact them and I live over three hours away so it's not like I will run into them by accident.

The reason I came back to post this here is because some people here made a prediction that came true (that they would come crawling back when we had children). I am now expecting our first child, a girl . She will be the first grandchild for my parents. My parents found out about the pregnancy a few months ago through a family friend. They didn't waste anytime in making demands, not requests, demands. My boyfriend and I are not religious but I had a Catholic upbringing. I don't practice at all by choice. My mother called me back in April telling me that my father wanted our daughter's middle name to be his mother's first name. I said no. My father was listening in on speaker so I went ahead and told them that they were officially uninvited from all birthdays, graduations, and any other important dates in her life. My father called me half an hour later crying and begging me to come stay with them for the birth so my mother could care for me. I said no.

He also said that he had already made arrangements for his priest could baptize her at his church but that I needed to agree to naming her after his mother if I wanted this to happen. He said he'd already planned a big celebration for the birth and the baptism that he was paying for. I said no to all of it. He went from meekly trying to sweet talk me to raising his voice at me and I hung up.

He called a couple of more times to apologize for losing his temper and again beg me to reconsider giving birth at a hospital near them so they could visit us. He denied having any knowledge of my mother sending me cards to uninvite us to any family functions and even said that he specifically asked her to invite us but he was told I declined every time. He lets my mom do the dirty work so he can later hide behind her and deny he had any knowledge. He's done this since I was a little girl. He does this every time he wants to drop the hammer on somebody but be the good cop also. He'll never change. He denied having any knowledge of why anybody in the family missed my wedding. I told him our daughter would not be baptized, or catholic at all (no offense to Catholics). I told him he was too manipulative and controlling and I didn't want my daughter exposed to that. He's too toxic and just venomous.

Coincidentally, the day and for several days after that phone call I got tons of calls and emails from my brothers, their wives, my sister, and all my aunts. They all wanted to apologize for missing my wedding, and all had specific excuses, and wanted to make plans to be there for my daughter's birth. I banned them all from her life until she's old enough to decide for herself to let them in.

My husband was a little surprised and not sure about banning everybody forever. He's more leaning towards supervised visits if they want to drive to us. My dad has been calling him like crazy but we are a united front. My husband is deferring to me but giving me ideas as to how I can give a little if I decide to. But with my family there's no giving a little. They want it all. For now, they're all banned. I will reconsider when the youngest of our children turns 18 . For now my dad will have to settle for sucking up to my husband while I stick to my guns. Unlike him, I don't mind owning my decisions even if it means I'm bad cop. I'm not ready to give up a relatively drama free, stress free life to allow my dad and all his sheep back into our lives.

tl;dr: Nobody in my family showed up to our wedding other than one of my sisters. Everyone is banned from our lives.

I'm hard.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 13:43

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:30

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Krazyface posted:

I'm hard.

Yesssssss

# ? Jan 10, 2018 13:58

Solefald: Jun 9, 2010; sleepy~capy

Bubblyblubber posted:

Wife (44F) of 9 years keeps buying expensive things and using the excuse that she was 'drunk' and that she is sorry. She recently used this excuse, except I know she wasn't actually drunk. How do I confront her about these lies?

Women be shopping, y'all. And also ruining trust in this relationship

Is spontanious expensive purchases often a symptom of depression?

With having shared accounts or finance and such I just can't comprehend randomly spending money without giving your partner a heads up. Is it really that common and normal to just drop hundreds on random poo poo without at least talking about it?

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:04

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Palpek posted:

Bf (22M) of 3 months humiliated me (20F) and says I overreacted by breaking up with him, wants to get back together.

She is way too uptight. Right up until he told everyone and then threatened her. Two big idiots dating.

Playing music in the bathroom to try and cover it was a bad move. You're in the drat bathroom. It's a place made to poo poo.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Jan 10, 2018

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:11

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

People in early 20s are dumb but even then I don't get the guy calling and texting the girl over and over apologizing while still repeating "you overreacted". So which is it idiot? The girl left you because of that poo poo, how well do you think this line of argumentation will work? loving dumb.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:17

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

poo poo like this is why girls get complexes over pooping. I think there was a Reddit post once about a girl panicking on her honeymoon because she had never pooped in the same house as her boyfriend before

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:22

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Khorne posted:

Playing music in the bathroom to try and cover it was a bad move. You're in the drat bathroom. It's a place made to poo poo.

I specifically look for houses with optimal making GBS threads acoustics when looking for a place to live. I want to be playing a symphony in brown and I want everybody to hear its magnificence.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:24

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Serephina posted:

And now for a palate cleanser:

How can I [29F] repay my husband [36M] for taking such wonderful care of me when I could barely function?Relationships

Anal

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:43

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Anal

This.

Or wake him up with a blowjob like that one crazy rear end in a top hat a few pages back got all in a tizzy about not getting.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 14:58

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I don't know, "I'm going to do this specific sex thing with/for you to show my gratitude" sounds like a turn-off to me. Just be sure to be there when he needs your support?

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:10

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Al Borland Corp. posted:

poo poo like this is why girls get complexes over pooping. I think there was a Reddit post once about a girl panicking on her honeymoon because she had never pooped in the same house as her boyfriend before

My [M22] girlfriend [F20] always burps and farts.

quote:

Its getting really annoying and frankly I'm turned off by it. I already asked her to control it In public and while she stopped the occasional public burp she has yet to stop at home. Its driving me insane. It's not that hard to go into another room if she needs to fart/burp. I don't wanna hear that and god forbid I have to smell it. This sounds mean but honestly I just deeply wish she would go back to the polite, sweet, gentle girl she was when we first moved in together. She used to hide every fart and burp and now she let's it loose every day it's repulsive. What should I do? Break up? It's really a struggle and I'm definitely thinking about it. Perhaps say I will break up with her if she doesn't stop within a week?

TL;DR: Girlfriend burps and farts everyday despite me asking her to STOP.

Oh, no the gf is a human being, what do?

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:12

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Some people like sex as kind of transactional, but in general unless you that's something your partner is into it's best left as something for two partners to do when the mood strikes because they want to make each other feel good, not as favor trading.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:14

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Palpek posted:

My [M22] girlfriend [F20] always burps and farts.

Oh, no the gf is a human being, what do?

I wonder if this guy hides his burps and farts...

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:14

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

People told him that unless what she's doing is really excessive he needs to gently caress off. He deleted the thread immediately, probably had to go fart on another forum.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:17

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Al Borland Corp. posted:

Some people like sex as kind of transactional, but in general unless you that's something your partner is into it's best left as something for two partners to do when the mood strikes because they want to make each other feel good, not as favor trading.

It's not really favor trading. It's not like he said she needs to do something for him. He took care of her because he loves her and not expecting anything in return. Giving him anal is just like a very personal thank you card

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:21

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Assuming he would even want that

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:26

Bistromatic: Oct 3, 2004; And turn the inner eye
To see its path...

Ride The Gravitron posted:

It's not really favor trading. It's not like he said she needs to do something for him. He took care of her because he loves her and not expecting anything in return. Giving him anal is just like a very personal thank you card

I agree with AA here, I'd nope out of that real quick no matter the specific act offered. Additionally not everyone is fixated on anal.

And imagining myself in the guys shoes the thing that that would mean the most to me is my partner just saying heartfelt thanks and how much it means to them.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 15:29

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Krazyface posted:

I'm hard.

This is Pete-level.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 16:57

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My Boyfriend (21M) has become obsessed with the 'circle game' meme causing our (23F) relationship to seriously suffer.

quote:

I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago and we've been together for a year. Everything was going perfectly until about a month ago when we both discovered the 'circle game' meme on facebook. Basically it's like a hand gesture you make with your thumb and forefinger in order to trick the other person into looking and catch them off guard.

It started out being really funny with just tagging each other in memes but recently since we've started doing it in person it's got really bad. He does it whenever I'm trying to talk about our future together or complete an important task. He's even started doing it in bed which is completely destroying my sexual attraction to him! Whenever we're intimate and I think it's all going nicely (even forgetting the circle game for a moment) he springs it on me unexpectedly and uncontrollably so any chance of us continuing is ruined. He is adamant that he doesn't have a problem, that it's all in my head and I can't take a joke but we haven't had sex in two weeks.

I was considering asking him to move in with me but I'm now seriously questioning this due to his childish obsession with a ridiculous meme!

TL;DR; Boyfriend is obsessed with 'circle game' meme, it's affecting our sex life and relationship.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:35

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

La Brea Carpet posted:

My Boyfriend (21M) has become obsessed with the 'circle game' meme causing our (23F) relationship to seriously suffer.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:42

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I don't know what that is. Is that the equivalent of when they are having sex he moves his head out of the way and then she sees dickbutt taped on the ceiling?

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:50

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

mind the walrus posted:

Guys in their early 20s are loving duuuuuuuuuumb film at 11.

Apllies to so many posts.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:51

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Al Borland Corp. posted:

I don't know what that is. Is that the equivalent of when they are having sex he moves his head out of the way and then she sees dickbutt taped on the ceiling?

You make a circle with thumb and forefinger and if you trick some one to see it below your waist you're allowed to murder them

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:52

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

it's like the Smirnoff ice game but it doesn't even include drinking

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:53

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

La Brea Carpet posted:

My Boyfriend (21M) has become obsessed with the 'circle game' meme causing our (23F) relationship to seriously suffer.

Do it back to him, and when he notices, say "Welp, you lost" and dump him

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:56

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

TheKennedys posted:

Do it back to him, and when he notices, say "Welp, you lost" and dump him

# ? Jan 10, 2018 17:59

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

TheKennedys posted:

Do it back to him, and when he notices, say "Welp, you lost" and dump him

You just lost The Game

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:02

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

North East-USA- We have been rescuing animals locked outside over night. can we be prosecuted for it? by CaptainSaveAPupper

quote:

Backstory: So basically I have formed up a group of people in response to this cold weather inspiring people to be extra lovely. We have been taking neglected animals from yards for the last week and a half. We have been basically picking locks and cutting chains to free these nearly frozen to death animals(mostly dogs). WE HAVE NEVER SET FOOT INSIDE ANYONES HOUSE! BACKYARDS AND PORCHES ONLY!!!!

My question's are the following:

How much trouble can we be in for this? We find reports of animals left outside, do a few days watching to confirm with video documentation of abuse(so hard to resist not running out and covering them in a big blanket and give them loving)

Truth is the best defense to defamation is what I've been told. Would we be able to post pictures and video of them online and at their work places, with their names, showing them yelling at them to "STFU and your staying outside tonight!" or pad locking them to a chain in the yard? These pieces of poo poo deserve to be ridiculed and looked down on for this as many of the dogs we have saved have had hypothermia and one had frost bite and was close to death.

If I am doing things wrong, how can I legally save these animals and out these people? They deserve to be known as POS and banned from adopting animals everywhere.

quote:

These dogs are being left outside for upwards of multiple days in a row. Police have been out multiple times but won't do anything.

The police keep telling us to gently caress off because the dogs are fine, so it's cool if we play Phantom Thieves of Dogs, right? They're totally dying of frostbite guys (also we either didn't contact a vet, or the vet didn't care why some dog had frostbite)

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:12

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

almightyerin posted:

My [23M] gf[25F] has a disgusting fetish. How to handle it?

Meanwhile this guy is dating a bird.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:15

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Danaru posted:

North East-USA- We have been rescuing animals locked outside over night. can we be prosecuted for it? by CaptainSaveAPupper
The police keep telling us to gently caress off because the dogs are fine, so it's cool if we play Phantom Thieves of Dogs, right? They're totally dying of frostbite guys (also we either didn't contact a vet, or the vet didn't care why some dog had frostbite)

we forcibly break into other peoples property, is this illegal?!?!?! and what do they do with the dog after they "rescue" them?

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:34

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

My Boyfriend (21M) has become obsessed with the 'circle game' meme causing our (23F) relationship to seriously suffer.

lol that this is an actual "meme" when me and my dumb friends were doing it back in high school nearly 20 years ago. I could have been a millionaire! I could have been a meme millionaire, Jerry!

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:38

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

If that's a recent post, it was seriously cold as gently caress in the northeast recently. Dogs shouldn't be left out below freezing, and it was below zero. Most northeast states have laws against it, but obv I can imagine the cops just not wanting to bother.

Is it a crime, yeah probably. But it's not worse than breaking a car window because a dog's locked inside on a hot day.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:38

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

They're going to get shot and it will be found justified

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:42

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

My(26M) GF(28F) had same sex encounter with Brothers GF(32F) (Infront of me in our home)

quote:

Good morning Reddit. This has been really bothering me and I would like some insight before I discuss it with my GF as to not damage the relationship further. Standard reasons for throw away, I apologize for any formatting issues.

Background: Living with GF(28F) since 11/16. She has a lifelong illness(type 1 diabetes, adrenal issues). Until this point it has felt like a fairy tale, seriously we had the truest love I've ever seen, and multiple independant parties have said something very similar. We have never fought, but it hasnt been easy as I am to a large degree a caretaker.

I have literally carried this girl into the hospital at 3am as shes dying in my arms with a bloodsugar of 19 after trying to treat the hypoglycemia all night and her body is just shutting down.

She has been on deaths door more than a few times, and its really makes one appreciate the time we do have in this world.

Onto the event:

Last Thursday my gf(28F) and I (26M) attended a kareoke night with my brother(33M) and his GF(33F). I did not drink as I was driving, everyone else did.

The night was a blast, its a semi regular thing we do and its always a ton of fun, all is normal at this point and we proceed to leave and head home.

Once we are home my gf starts drunk dancing in the living room, and to try to be more fun I have one drink and am playing along. My GF then gets a call from brothers GF (here on BGF) that her and him are fighting and she wants to come over.

I vocalize that I have work in the morning and I would rather not have anyone over, the phone call ends and roughly 15 minutes later BGF shows up at our front door, uninvited.

We let her in because shes essentially family and clearly distraught. From roughly 12am until 2 GF and I console her as they both continue to drink.

BGF and my brother were fighting because she had a bad day and wanted to go out and keep partying, and he did not. By all regards this woman(BGF) is a recovering trainwreck, with a past of serious substance abuse and very VERY poor decision making. At this point(2am) they're both quite intoxicated, and start romping around around on the living room floor, kind of play fighting.

It escalates very quickly from that to BGF performing oral sex on my GF, as well as fingering eachother.(Literally she pulled GFs pants down and started going at it) The desire is definitely reciprocated by both parties, I dont know if my GF went down on her, but I know BGF went down on GF and they fingered eachother, as well as some grinding. GF is clearly enjoying herself, I'm pretty sure BGF is black out drunk.

This is all happening right infront of me. I am literally on the couch the two feet away, I've had two drinks over two hours at this point, I'm not drunk, but I'm literally speechless/flabbergasted. I am very monogomous, and coincidently gf and I had discussed how we felt about other people in our relationship (mostly regarding 3-ways) not even two weeks ago, we were in agreeance that we were not interested in anyone else being involved.

After 10 or so minutes of this I state that this doesnt do anything for me, I'm not okay with this and its "Not my perogative", BGF retorts that my brother would be "All over this". I state "I am not my brother" and proceed to immediately go to the bathroom, shower, and go to bed.

I felt loving sick from watching it. This girl really grosses me out for a lot of reasons, many of them having to do with her past poor decisions, but also just by who she is. I received a "sorry things kind of got out of hand" that night from my GF, and I can tell by how shes acting she regrets it. The biggest issue I have, more so than the infidelity, is the look my GF gave BGF right after it started getting sexual. It was a look I had only ever seen her give me, a look of bliss and love as you peer into her soul. One that was reserved for me in my mind, regardless of whether that was true or not, thats how it felt. Seeing her give someone else that look was the moment this fairy tale became a cold reality, and suddenly the magic I felt from her is gone. A little peice of me died right then, and I don't know if it will come back.

I still love her very much, I still want to be with her, and I still think we are good for eachother, but gently caress I don't know how to handle this correctly without damaging it more.

I could have done more to stop it, but in my opinon it shouldnt have ever gotten that far in the first place. She (GF) was in a very foul mood the next day and wouldn't say why, but I know it was because of what happened, I know she regrets it, I chose not to bring it up then because I didn't want to pile on, I then got sick and have felt awful since saturday.

I did told her yesterday that we need to talk about it when I'm feeling better, she agreed and said she was very sorry, which I feel she is.

I would really just like some insight, are my feelings valid to outsiders, because I'm also wrestling with why I didnt do more to stop it, but BGF scares me because shes kind of psycho at times and I didnt want to escalate the situation. More over, worried about herpes and HPV as I'm fairly confident BGF has HPV. My brother as far as I know has no idea any of this happened other than BGF came over.

TL;DR: Bros GF and my gf had drunken spontanious lesbian sex infront of me, now I feel like the magic in our relationship has been snuffed out. Also STD scare.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:43

InediblePenguin: Sep 27, 2004; I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

maskenfreiheit posted:

My(26M) GF(28F) had same sex encounter with Brothers GF(32F) (Infront of me in our home)

quote:

I vocalize that I have work in the morning

gf should sever from this guy for using phrasing like this tbh

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:46

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

anglophilia is a goddamn menace

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:48

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

step right up step right uuup and witness the miracle of the man born without a spine and his gf deaths door

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:49

Capri Sun Tzu: Oct 24, 2017; by Reene

InediblePenguin posted:

gf should sever from this guy for using phrasing like this tbh

Jesus that guy sounds insufferable. After watching his girlfriend get on some crazy lesbian sex right in front of him he literally said "Not my perogative" and left.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:52

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Capri Sun Tzu posted:

Jesus that guy sounds insufferable. After watching his girlfriend get on some crazy lesbian sex right in front of him he literally said "Not my perogative" and left.

"Hey Google, play Bobby Brown's Greatest Hits"

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:55

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:30

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

He also doesn't know what prerogative means.

# ? Jan 10, 2018 18:55

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