/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

MF_James posted:

I would say the most egregious thing is that she just doesn't give enough of a gently caress. He (apparently) asked her multiple times to do things and eventually escalated to screaming, then she would do them, but poorly, and he would point that out and she'd eventually break X appliance. Not once did she ever think, hmmm maybe I don't understand how to do Thing and should look it up (or ask BF), but I'll just keep doing it poorly.

Like, my parents never specifically taught me how to laundry, they taught me a lot of other things (or I learned from watching) but laundry was left out, so after I hosed it up once or twice when living on my own, I went and googled it (because I'm too proud to ask Mom to tell me how to do laundry, my dad probably has no clue how to do it) and figured it out. Yay 15-20 minutes spent, now I can do a relatively simple task, correctly, for the rest of my life.

MOST "STUDENT" LEVEL WASHING MACHINES HAVE GODDAMN PRINTED PICTURES ON THE UNDERSIDE OF THE LID THAT TELLS YOU HOW TO DO IT!!!!!

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:36

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# ? May 25, 2024 06:12

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

E: argh gently caress it

tactlessbastard fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Jan 11, 2018

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:36

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

That reminds me, I wonder how Blue Story is doing.

Oh yeah also he asked her why she doesn't just google how to do stuff and she goes 'I should be able to figure it out on my own so whatever'

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:38

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

That girl has a legit disability and I refuse to believe it isn't noticeable in other areas. He should not be porking someone with a sub 50 IQ holy Christ.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:40

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

girl pants posted:

That reminds me, I wonder how Blue Story is doing.

Oh yeah also he asked her why she doesn't just google how to do stuff and she goes 'I should be able to figure it out on my own so whatever'

Sold her baby for a porg plushie I bet

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:43

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

MF_James posted:

IT TELLS YOU ON THE loving BOX HOW TO MAKE IT ARHGHAHGWERLKIJHDGF

That hasn't been my experience so far with babies

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:44

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

Andy Dufresne posted:

My wife is mortified that I use shampoo as soap and clean my entire body with it. AMA

Dr. Bronner's is top tier for this. You can brush your teeth with it, use it as body wash, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc. Plus you can have fun reading the insane ramblings of a crazy person that are printed on every bottle!

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:47

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Skutter posted:

Dr. Bronner's is top tier for this. You can brush your teeth with it, use it as body wash, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc. Plus you can have fun reading the insane ramblings of a crazy person that are printed on every bottle!

Don't rub the peppermint stuff on your junk though. Or do, I guess, if you're into that.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:50

Meme Emulator: Oct 4, 2000

Vargatron posted:

I thought the recommendation was washing your hair every 2-3 days if it's long. I'm probably not a good judge of this because I've used soap on my hair when I ran out of shampoo.

im the opposite, i juse use shampoo/conditioner on my body when i run out.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:51

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

tactlessbastard posted:

That hasn't been my experience so far with babies

Pro-tip, if you have to go in for an IUI (artificial insemination) don't suggest to your wife that what just happened should "totally count as a threesome."

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:51

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

La Brea Carpet posted:

Pro-tip, if you have to go in for an IUI (artificial insemination) don't suggest to your wife that what just happened should "totally count as a threesome."

Duly noted.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:52

Meme Emulator: Oct 4, 2000

tessiebee posted:

That girl has a legit disability and I refuse to believe it isn't noticeable in other areas. He should not be porking someone with a sub 50 IQ holy Christ.

Her disability is probably extreme anxiety keeping her from starting these tasks or extreme depression causing her to take the shortest possible route/forget soup is in the pressure cooker but I guess if we think about it that way we cant insinuate the OP is a rapist

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:53

Capri Sun Tzu: Oct 24, 2017; by Reene

Skutter posted:

Dr. Bronner's is top tier for this. You can brush your teeth with it, use it as body wash, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc. Plus you can have fun reading the insane ramblings of a crazy person that are printed on every bottle!

That website :stare:

Why would you arrange the numbers this way arghh

# ? Jan 11, 2018 21:54

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Meme Emulator posted:

Her disability is probably extreme anxiety keeping her from starting these tasks or extreme depression causing her to take the shortest possible route/forget soup is in the pressure cooker but I guess if we think about it that way we cant insinuate the OP is a rapist

I dunno, the way it reads to me is that she is fundamentally incapable of learning and developing. That's worrying.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:02

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

Find the buried lede.

My ex (22) betrayed me (24) and my family and I am having a hard time moving on.

quote:

I dated this girl for three years from the beginning of freshman year to now. We met in college and she fell for me then, she stayed over at my dorm room all the time to the extent that her RAs from her dorm were worried that she disappeared, she literally lived in my room and we shared a bed. I took her virginity and we were each other's first serious relationship.

I wasn't always good to her the beginning of out relationship. I didn't know what I wanted from her at first and to some extent led her on, for awhile I thought that I'd end the relationship, up until the point she practically lived with me and we depended on each other. I cheated on her twice, made out with two drunken girls. There were no feelings for them and that was the end of it in all totality. After that I was totally faithful and I fell in love with her as well. I confessed to her about it a year later, although she always suspected and she was very paranoid about me then. She no longer became paranoid after freshman year, but this is where she started to resent me for it, she tried getting over the resentment for most of our relationship. I tried my very hardest to make her happy after that, I loved her and I worried for her.

We both transferred to different schools after freshman year but we continued having a long distance relationship, we were four hours away from each other. At this point in time I made my family totally take her in and accept her, every time I was over she was over, which was every other week. She dependent on my family for a lot of things and they were willing to give, knowing how poor and distant her family is and how difficult her studies were, they had a lot of sympathy. She visited me at my school all the time, something that took away from her academics a bit. She didn't have any family nearby, all of them were on the other coast. My family gave her total love and acceptance, and I always tried to do so as well. This was the state of our relationship for two years. She had depression from the difficulty of her program and of her loneliness and I gave it my all to help her. I tried my very hardest to be the best boyfriend for her over the last two years and second half of the first year.

I visited her back in her state twice during the summers when she would go away. We had the kind of relationship where we would constantly write and text and call each other. Both my family and I really truly tried to give her our all to help her, it was exhausting for me too since I would visit her all the time and I saw it as my duty to help her out of depression, something I never told her. We were truly in love and totally willing to fight, we had a connection. Or so it seemed.

About two months ago, we were talking about the resentment she had. She couldn't get over how I treated her the beginning of the relationship no matter how much love I gave her then. So I suggested that we take a break and she was happy for it, neither of us knew what that really meant. It was poorly communicated and we very frequently went back on it for a month. Well apparently there was a boy that has been flirting with her for awhile, she told me about it months ago. I was never ever the jealous or paranoid type, I always thought that she loved me and that I had nothing to worry about.

At some point over the last month she gets in contact with me, over this ambitious "break" we had, saying she no longer loves me. I was very happy with our relationship at this point. She knew all my friends and they loved her too.

She visited me for three days saying we should be friends and that she's breaking it up. We've had many difficult parts of our long distance relationship before and me, still in love, decided to fight for her. She visited me and I asked her if she'd ever cheated on me or if she is with anyone right now, both of which she totally denied. She also confesses at this time that sex had become a chore for her because she felt so much pressure to keep me pleased (I have a higher sex drive), something she never even hinted at before in the past. I thought we made love every single time.

I drove over to her apartment at night at her city, she wasn't expecting me at all. I only wanted to talk to her, visiting each other like this had precedent between us. What I saw was the very last thing on earth I expected to see. Through her window I saw her with another guy naked. Basically I lost my poo poo and now I'm being charged with malicious destruction of property, breaking and entering, and assault and battery against the guy (I broke through the window in the heat of the moment). I only broke in to talk to her and because of the high emotions from the sight I saw, but that became a physical altercation between me and him. The police were called out and I was arrested, spent three nights in jail, and she put a no contact restraining order put against me. There's going to be a hearing soon on whether to extend the temporary restraining order into one that lasts a year.

She never signed out of her email or Facebook on my computer and I've read her messages (totally wrong considering the restraining order). Apparently she'd been unhappy in our relationship and she hooked up with this guy before in the past about a month ago, that's the exact moment she realized she no longer loved me. She felt very sad and guilty about it first, but she went to the guy to feel better about it and not to me. Right afterwards is when we had out talk about her no longer loving me.

I am totally heartbroken and am at an absolute loss. I still care deeply for her, I still love her, but I feel so deceived and betrayed and utterly disposable. She never wanted to talk to me, and she hadn't even sent a thank you card to my family for taking her in so much, which makes me feel like she treats the last two years we gave her as disposable. I honestly felt like she cheated with me, despite the relationship ambiguities, she was dishonest. To make it worst she cheated on me emotionally, she's the one who approached the guy!

I've had a week to think about it. I realize that if she were unhappy I could have accepted her breaking up with me and being friends, but she never told me. I just had my heart broken, and at first I couldn't not take it personally. Now I realize I just miss her as a friend and as someone to talk to, despite her dishonesty. I really truly do miss her, and the no contact restraining order is killing me on the inside. I wish I could tell her how I feel about her, that I don't take it personally, that I wish she didn't lie and that I wish she hadn't cast me out of her life without a second thought, despite the seriousness of the altercation that happened.

She's very happy now, if not a bit scared immediately after the incident, but honestly happy. She really likes her new guy and seems to not regret in the slightest breaking it off with me. It feels so cruel that I can't talk to her and that she seemingly has no wish for it whatsoever. I think she's gong to try to continue the restraining order for a year. I really do just miss her and I know we need our space for anything, but it seems like us ever being on talking terms is not on the horizon and it's killing me.

These last few days I've never felt lonelier in my life. She did a bad thing to me, in my heart I know this. My family has been insanely stressed for me, since I'm facing felony charges. In all probability there's little doubt I'll leave with any convictions, prison time, or anything besides an arrest on my record, (though likely just a fine) because I've never had anything on my record (not even a speeding ticket) and I'm a good student at a top school (the courts tend to go easy for people who seem like productive members of society, especially students). I am insanely nervous about what will become of US, however. I would be OK with just being friends. I have a lot of regret over how I handled the incident because it meant sabotaging our relationship, but in all honesty I have no idea how much she even valued that at that time anymore and I was utterly shocked by what I saw. I have gone through a lot emotionally the past week.

I really wish I could just talk to my ex who has a restraining order against me to just tell her I want to communicate, be friends, and take it slow. I practically grew up with her, she was my first ever serious relationship and it pains me how it ended.

I've been logging on her Facebook to see how she's doing several times a day, but she doesn't use it that much. Same with her email. She had blocked me on Facebook.
I hope people read this and leave a comment, I don't know how to digest this and I've been feeling pretty lonely.

Thanks everyone, that's my story.

tl;dr: My girlfriend of three years betrayed me and put me in a situation that may ruin my reputation but I still love her. I made a small mistake (first time ever in my entire life I did something like this) and she is making me seem like a monster. I need help understanding the situation and what the future may hold for her.

EDIT:

quote:

There was a time when she trusted me with her most intimate things in her life, I have her credit card and bank information not because I stole it but because she gave it to me. She knows I have these. She doesn't need to know I've read her messages, but it's not like I could use them to harm her and she never suspected me to use any of that stuff to harm her either. There's invasion of privacy, and then there's being malicious, I'm not doing the latter and she never worried about me doing so. I suppose she didn't worry about me doing the former. She could have changed all her passwords if it were a concern for her.

Now, the legal implications is where you're right and I absolutely agree with you. I guess I don't think I'll get caught, but otherwise yeah I totally agree with you. Before you reply understand that I acknowledge and understand the legal implications.

Doggles fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Jan 11, 2018

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:04

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The buried lede is gonna be this woman if he ever catches her

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:11

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

hooooooooooooooooooooooly shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:12

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

The way he kept belaboring how much his family had done for her made me think this guy is definitely having a worryingly hard time accepting this and then whoopsie he goes full crazy.

I hope he gets doxxed so someone can warn his ex.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:12

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Divorce Lawyer for Men Only? (self.legaladviceofftopic)

quote:

So, in my town (Virginia Beach, VA) there is a billboard off the interstate that advertises divorce lawyer services "for men only." Thankfully, they removed a pair of boxing gloves that alluded to testicles that were previously there, but the billboard has been up for years. IANAL, but wouldn't this kind of practice be discriminatory against a protected class (gender)? I couldn't imagine it would be legal for a lawyer to be "for whites only," but is there a legal justification for only accepting male clients? I could see the argument for gender specific services in some fields (such as a barber only having male patrons, since the barber may only be trained to work with male hairstyles, or a gynaecologist only having female patients for obvious reasons), but is divorce law really a field that is gender specific enough to warrant such a distinction? Also, would it be legal to advertise this kind of thing if it is not enforced? I would imagine not, but could he make the argument that he would accept female clients if they sought his services, but he simply is targeting men in his advertising?

TL;DR: Divorce lawyer advertises "for men only." Legal?

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:14

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

That�s pretty much exactly the person for whom you need a restraining order :wow:

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:14

Andy Dufresne: Aug 4, 2010; The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die

Skutter posted:

Dr. Bronner's is top tier for this. You can brush your teeth with it, use it as body wash, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc. Plus you can have fun reading the insane ramblings of a crazy person that are printed on every bottle!

I'm like 99% sure this is our dishsoap

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:15

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Reminds me of the guy who went for consults with as many divorce lawyers as possible so that none of them would be able represent his wife.

IIRC that was frowned upon.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:15

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I broke through a window with the intention of talking to the person inside.

lol

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:17

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

how are yall running out of soap, we're poor as poo poo but I still have a couple of bars of soap in the linen closet

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:19

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

fruit on the bottom posted:

Reminds me of the guy who went for consults with as many divorce lawyers as possible so that none of them would be able represent his wife.

IIRC that was frowned upon.

didn't he take that advice from reddit MRAs and end up getting in some sort of legal trouble?

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:19

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

girl pants posted:

I knew that accutane had serious side effects and I would never push anyone to take it if they didn't want to, but HOLY poo poo, I had no idea it was that bad. Let the man have his bacne, lady!

Anyway...

At my [34M] wit's end with my [32F] GF...She has absolutely no basic life-skills.

And here's the update...

Why do I feel like he's probably going to keep giving her "last chance, ever, for real"s until one of them dies of mold poisoning.

she doesn't have an :airquote:

learning disability :airquote:

, she's dumb. your girlfriend is dumb and can't learn things quick because she's dumb. it's good you dumped her (because she's dumb)

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:19

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Doggles posted:

Find the buried lede.

My ex (22) betrayed me (24) and my family and I am having a hard time moving on.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:20

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Is Dr Bronners any good or is it just loonie eco greenish nonsense? I can't tell amongst all the misinformation these days.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:23

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

tessiebee posted:

Is Dr Bronners any good or is it just loonie eco greenish nonsense? I can't tell amongst all the misinformation these days.

It's good soap. I use the tea tree oil and it doesn't dry my skin out like a lot of bar soap does.

Will it solve global warming? No.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:24

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Homeopathy, is the word I was looking for

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:25

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

tessiebee posted:

Is Dr Bronners any good or is it just loonie eco greenish nonsense? I can't tell amongst all the misinformation these days.

its wonderful. its so minty you can get cleaner just from smelling it.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:25

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

tessiebee posted:

Is Dr Bronners any good or is it just loonie eco greenish nonsense? I can't tell amongst all the misinformation these days.

It's legitimate soap, and a lot of people really like it. Dude had a whacko philosophy and it's all over the packaging but the soap itself is perfectly functional soap that will do the job and not kill you. It's not for me personally (too strong) but eh.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:26

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

Now, the legal implications is where you're right and I absolutely agree with you. I guess I don't think I'll get caught, but otherwise yeah I totally agree with you. Before you reply understand that I acknowledge and understand the legal implications.

He's going to get caught eventually and he's going to plead ignorance and here this is just hanging around forever

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:26

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

tessiebee posted:

Homeopathy, is the word I was looking for

dr bronners has nothing to do with homeopathy. and its not marketed as medicine, "alternative" or otherwise. its just a natural soap and toothpaste and the only real "loony" aspect of it is the religious writings of the doctor on the bottle, which actually make sense once you get over his writing style. he's just saying... keep your poo poo clean, also love everybody.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:26

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

tessiebee posted:

Is Dr Bronners any good or is it just loonie eco greenish nonsense? I can't tell amongst all the misinformation these days.

It�s soap. It works. Lather isn�t as rich as with like supermarket :airquote:

chemical

soaps but it makes a good soap and shampoo. I�ve used it for laundry in a pinch. It�s super concentrated so it�s good to camp or travel with

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:29

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

Dr. B's is great, I've been using it as schampoo for years (read somewhere that castille soap was great for curly hair, and it is FYI), and it doubles as soap easily. We also took it on our trip to NZ and used it as laundry detergent in addition to body soap, worked just fine. You can get travel-sized bottles of it at Target or Wal-Mart for cheap if you want to try it out, only comes in Lavender and Peppermint though (and like girl pants said, keep it away from your bits).

The Tea Tree flavor smells like bug spray though. Citrus is where it's at.

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:29

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

It's good stuff, I guess you can probably get very similar castile soaps for cheaper but I love those loony-rear end labels

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:30

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

fruit on the bottom posted:

Reminds me of the guy who went for consults with as many divorce lawyers as possible so that none of them would be able represent his wife.

IIRC that was frowned upon.

yeah gotta keep it plausible... pick like 2-3 affordable ones then retain a good (expensive) one. not every guy in the county ya dingus!

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Baronjutter posted:

I remember a long while back in E/N a dude made a thread that he was getting dumped or having serious relationship issues with his girlfriend over a shower gadget he bought. He for some reason got really excited about some stupid attachment you can put on your shower that mixes a direct feed of liquid soap into your shower head so you can waste tons of soap. He said this would speed up his showers as he could skip the lathering up part. His girlfriend thought it was insanely stupid and didn't want this $500 gadget (plus special liquid soap canisters) loving up her shower and he agreed not to get it. He thought she just didn't understand how revolutionary it was so went and bought it anyways and his girlfriend got really upset and actually left him over it.

He made the thread after this happened expecting sympathy and support and goons to tell him his liquid soap dispenser was in fact cool and good. He also give the impression that he thought this device would let him basically skip half the time in his shower because being sprayed with soap is the same as scrubbing. Go in, get sprayed with liquid soap, rinse off, done. He also had no idea why his girlfriend "overreacted" and started rambling about trust and respect and constantly ignoring her input on household purchases. He defended his soap thing as some sort of revolutionary development in shower technology that would free us from scrubbing, it was the hill he was willing to die on and he did.

It was a good thread, e/n was an absolutely delight back then. It used to be full of poo poo like this thread now has to dredge up from reddit.

this was a classic and basically I created the first instance of this thread because the people sincere enough to post stuff like that here have long since thought better of it

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:40

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# ? May 25, 2024 06:12

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

How the gently caress do I wash myself if I can't let it touch my dick? Do you people just not wash your dick/vag and you have some horrid stank down there?

# ? Jan 11, 2018 22:42

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