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Crabtree
Oct 17, 2012

ARRRGH! Get that wallet out!
Everybody: Lowtax in a Pickle!
Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle!

Dinosaur Gum

HereCometheKillBots posted:

Ya gotta give me the shoe :allears:
You'd think Garrison would be all about Sessions going after weed, given that it's a means to put more black people in prison.

The biggest Trumpers I met are weed lovers that openly "only have conflicting opinions with the president" about Mary Jane legalization. This is the one libertarian thing that will always whine against the establishment even if they also get to enslave black people, they want to blaze it and sell the drug to make easy money.

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Flip Yr Wig
Feb 21, 2007

Oh please do go on
Fun Shoe

Newfie posted:

This looks like a "they're asking for it" comic. If so, it's going right in the 2018 gaybie repository.

If I had to guess, I'm thinking it's more along the lines of "feminists these days are trying to make us a bunch of sexless Saudis".

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."
Going to start slow with these new Fish cartoons:


Ramp up the Fish a little more:


*Slips and accidentally pushes the Fish meter to 10*

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

King Possum III posted:



Those who have followed my cartoons for a while have probably come to this conclusion: Ben Garrison loathes Hillary Clinton.

That conclusion is correct. I've despised Hillary for decades, starting with Whitewater, Cattlegate, Filegate, Travelgate and a myriad of other scandals carried out by her and Bill, her ersatz husband.

As a young attorney investigating Watergate, Hillary was fired after being exposed as a liar.

Maybe that unmasking inspired her to create her own ‘gates.’ She was never prosecuted for any of her corruption through the years, and that probably encouraged her still further. She pushed her bayonet through multiple envelopes.

Hill was a huge fan of Saul Alinsky, a so-called ‘radical.’ Another communist, er, radical named Lenin, told his followers to push the bayonet through the mush until steel was encountered. That tactic was used by Hillary and she encountered a lot of mush. She pushed her corruption as far as it could go until the point where she must consider herself above the law.

Our fingers are crossed that Jeff Sessions will reopen investigations over Hillary Clinton’s illegal server, the classified emails that showed up on Huma’s laptop, the destruction of evidence, the campaign money laundering, the corrupt Clinton Foundation, Benghazi, the Uranium One scandal, …shall I go on?

Hillary needs to be investigated, prosecuted and LOCKED UP!

But it never happens. Our Attorney General, Sessions, has recused himself from investigating her crimes. Instead, he’s going after marijuana.

The so-called ‘war on drugs’ has been a monumental flop. It’s a waste of lives, resources, energy and time. Have you learned nothing from prohibition, Jefferson Sessions? I realize President Trump was elected to enforce the rule of law. We want illegal aliens kicked out of the country, for example. Obama certainly didn’t enforce that law.

But marijuana? Leave that up to the states to decide!

-Ben Garrison

"Respect the rule of law! Except about weed! Ignore the laws about weed!"

I'm 100% on board with legalization, and I know the only reason it's still on the books as a crime is because it helps keep poors and black people in prison, but I hate when they pretend that they give a gently caress about states rights when all they want is to not get in trouble for the stuff they personally like doing.
It's the same as the free market thing; When they support the business' decision, it's the free market at work and they should be given a trophy - If they disagree with the business, then it's mean ol' SJW political correctness being rammed down our patriotic throats.

ryonguy
Jun 27, 2013

Hunt11 posted:

Mass Production really is such a horrifying idea.

Not a single thing I said in that post had anything to do with mass production whatsoever (save the word factory which was a stand-in for "facility under my control" which was a rather wordy mouthful), and the idea that people are incapable of mass production without capitalists controlling them is hilarious.

ryonguy fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Jan 12, 2018

Apple Pie Hubbub
Feb 14, 2012

Take that, you greedy jerk!
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Scholtz
Aug 24, 2007

Zorchin' some Flemoids

Why do people keep drawing rats with black noses? They have adorable pink noses tyvm

Crabtree
Oct 17, 2012

ARRRGH! Get that wallet out!
Everybody: Lowtax in a Pickle!
Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle!

Dinosaur Gum

You know, you really should try to at least make sure the thing you draw actually is recognizable as shithead Aparo before you, uh, make whatever the gently caress you did here?

im on the net me boys
Feb 19, 2017

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhjjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cannabis

NoEyedSquareGuy posted:



*Slips and accidentally pushes the Fish meter to 10*


lmao @ thinking international law means anything

Trapezium Dave
Oct 22, 2012

The cartoonist put in the conviction, pardon and racial profiling and then didn't know how to stop.

FronzelNeekburm
Jun 1, 2001

STOP, MORTTIME

Garrison posted:

I've despised Hillary for decades, starting with Whitewater, Cattlegate, Filegate, Travelgate and a myriad of other scandals carried out by her and Bill, her ersatz husband.
Wrongdoing by Hillary in the Whitewater, Cattlegate, and Filegate investigations: :confused:

Parallels to Trump in unusually firing career bureaucrats, giving people access to classified information without following procedure, and benefiting from shady investments: Hmmm :thunk:

quote:

As a young attorney investigating Watergate, Hillary was fired after being exposed as a liar.
No.

quote:

She was never prosecuted for any of her corruption through the years,

Wikipedia posted:

Neither Bill Clinton nor Hillary were ever prosecuted, after three separate inquiries found insufficient evidence linking them with the criminal conduct of others related to the land deal.
[...]
On January 26, 1996, Hillary Clinton testified before a grand jury concerning her investments in Whitewater. This was the first time in American history that a first lady had been subpoenaed to testify before a grand jury.

Wikipedia posted:

A separate lawsuit on the [Filegate] matter brought by Judicial Watch, a conservative watchdog group, lingered on for years and was dismissed by a federal judge in 2010.

quote:

Our fingers are crossed that Jeff Sessions will reopen investigations over Hillary Clinton’s illegal server,
Let's open investigations into Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, and Bush's White House staff while we're at it.

quote:

the campaign money laundering,

The Hill posted:

Donald Trump's campaign is still soliciting illegal donations from foreign individuals — including members of foreign governments at their official email addresses — weeks after the campaign was put on notice by watchdog groups.

Foreign members of parliament from the United Kingdom and Australia confirmed to The Hill that they received fundraising solicitations from the Trump campaign as recently as July 12 — two weeks after a widely publicized Federal Election Commission (FEC) complaint issued on June 29 by nonpartisan watchdogs Democracy 21 and the Campaign Legal Center.

Pants Donkey
Nov 13, 2011

Garrison buys just about every right-wing conspiracy out there, so facts aren't going to matter. He still earnestly believes that Seth Rich was murdered, that Trump won the popular vote (never mind that even Trump quietly ended his investigative committee of the 2016 election), and that the DNC has a Satanic contingent that diddles kids at pizza parlors. He's alt-right Dees.

Pants Donkey fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Jan 12, 2018

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011




Apple Pie Hubbub
Feb 14, 2012

Take that, you greedy jerk!


Jonas Albrecht
Jun 7, 2012


I'm just gonna say rip to me for whenever Branco squats out a defense of Trump's shithole comment.

Ularg
Mar 2, 2010

Just tell me I'm exotic.

Jonas Albrecht posted:

I'm just gonna say rip to me for whenever Branco squats out a defense of Trump's shithole comment.

Calling it now it's going to be a "Trolled the libs" comic. And Garrison will do the "Defender of American identity and purity" bullshit.

Trogdos!
Jul 11, 2009

A DRAGON POKEMAN
well technically a water/flying type

World Famous W posted:

:siren:Gay Abortion's nomination post is edited up! Go vote now!:siren:

By request of a few people, I did not prune lists this year. A creator may have more then one submission in a category.

I had edited my post before the deadline to contain a few more cartoons than it did initially but they're not on the ballot. I think it's late but I had two good submissions for 44 and Nazi categories which were left out :(

World Famous W
May 25, 2007

BAAAAAAAAAAAA
I apologize. I went through it again yesterday and today and I must have missed the edit.

I edited them in but they did miss a few ballots already turned in.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

36 states report widespread flu during flu season? The thing that happens every single year around this time in the northern hemisphere? I'll be damned!

Jackard
Oct 28, 2007

We Have A Bow And We Wish To Use It

skeleton warrior posted:

There was an interesting review I listened to a year ago that pointed out that the modern distaste for the PT Cruiser is largely class-based: as a solid, easy to use and easy to maintain car with nostalgia for the over-60 set, many of the surviving PT Cruisers were owned by senior citizens who didn't use them much, which meant they disproportionately were given to family members who really couldn't get their life together enough to buy their own car, leading to an overwhelming modern association of PT Cruisers with people struggling to make ends meet. So as much as it's "people got tired of a popular item", it's also "people associate it with failure and being poor".
Also, they always break down

Wrrryyyy....

Jackard fucked around with this message at 09:21 on Jan 12, 2018

Atahualpa
Aug 18, 2015

A lucky bird.

Jurgan posted:

What if it’s night time and you just see a single light floating in darkness?

Turn around. The will-o-wisp is a dangerous creature that will only lead you to your doom.

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

Ahahahaha, it's the republican stand-in that's being dragged into the dirt by the democratic stand-in.
loving LOL PC.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

DUI joke. gently caress it, it's loving Tinsley, you know the drill.

Honestly though, I can't figure out what his point is. Does he think that people shouldn't face consequences for what they've done? Is this is response to the republicans backing an unrepentant pedophile? Does he think that robbing a bank shouldn't, like, affect things? Does he think that having committed rape might, y'know, be worth a bit of scorn?

Raised By Birds
May 5, 2013

I read that first sentence as "private messages" at first. :saddowns:


The more he gets riled up about people distancing themselves from sexual harassers, the more it makes me wonder if he's done something like it himself at some point.

Stevoblunt
Mar 12, 2008

Somfin posted:

DUI joke. gently caress it, it's loving Tinsley, you know the drill.

Honestly though, I can't figure out what his point is. Does he think that people shouldn't face consequences for what they've done? Is this is response to the republicans backing an unrepentant pedophile? Does he think that robbing a bank shouldn't, like, affect things? Does he think that having committed rape might, y'know, be worth a bit of scorn?

He thinks these women are lying and ruining the lives of innocent and honest men by falsely accusing them of sexual misconduct. They do this because of all the obvious benefits they receive such as:

Stultus Maximus
Dec 21, 2009

USPOL May

Stevoblunt posted:

He thinks these women are lying and ruining the lives of innocent and honest men by falsely accusing them of sexual misconduct. They do this because of all the obvious benefits they receive such as:

secret Soros bux for delivering the Senate to Democrats.

AVeryLargeRadish
Aug 19, 2011

I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE A WEIRD SEXUAL CREEP ABOUT PREPUBESCENT ANIME GIRLS, READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE!!!

Stevoblunt posted:

He thinks these women are lying and ruining the lives of innocent and honest men by falsely accusing them of sexual misconduct. They do this because of all the obvious benefits they receive such as:

Yeah, this. If you asked him he would spout some BS about how if it hasn't been proven in a court it didn't happen, but even if a court convicted these fuckers he would be throwing as much doubt as possible on the whole case and talk about how the victim must have brought it on themselves. Well, unless the accused is poor and black, in which case Tinsley would be the first to make a noose regardless of a trial or anything else.

Box of Bunnies
Apr 3, 2012

by Pragmatica

AVeryLargeRadish posted:

even if a court convicted these fuckers he would be throwing as much doubt as possible on the whole case and talk about how the victim must have brought it on themselves.

I mean, you just have to look at the Brock Turner case where he was sentenced to a paltry six months for raping a woman that was passed out drunk, served only three of those month, and is now trying to have the conviction overturned.

Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.

Above the shoe and below "DNC" it says V or U 1. Anyone know that scandal?

Mercedes Colomar
Nov 1, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Raised By Birds
May 5, 2013

Mr. Squishy posted:

Above the shoe and below "DNC" it says V or U 1. Anyone know that scandal?

Uranium One, when Hillary sold all our uranium to the Russians except not at all.

GIANT OUIJA BOARD
Aug 22, 2011

177 Years of Your Dick
All
Night
Non
Stop

Mr. Squishy posted:

Above the shoe and below "DNC" it says V or U 1. Anyone know that scandal?

The Uranium One deal.

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

Somfin posted:

Honestly though, I can't figure out what his point is. Does he think that people shouldn't face consequences for what they've done? Is this is response to the republicans backing an unrepentant pedophile? Does he think that robbing a bank shouldn't, like, affect things? Does he think that having committed rape might, y'know, be worth a bit of scorn?
But you see, this was 30 years ago! Clearly this means it doesn't mean anything!

Box of Bunnies posted:

I mean, you just have to look at the Brock Turner case where he was sentenced to a paltry six months for raping a woman that was passed out drunk, served only three of those month, and is now trying to have the conviction overturned.
What, that rear end in a top hat is trying to get the conviction overturned? What a loving piece of poo poo.

Electric Phantasm
Apr 7, 2011

YOSPOS

Jonas Albrecht posted:

I'm just gonna say rip to me for whenever Branco squats out a defense of Trump's shithole comment.

"Remember when Obama said a swear one time????"

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Despera posted:

Lets not forget the mediocrity of outback steakhouse while we rightfully condemn the pt cruiser

Those details make it perfect.

D.N. Nation
Feb 1, 2012

Every Prickly City:

Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009




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Quorum
Sep 24, 2014

REMIND ME AGAIN HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE?

This cartoon is very angry about people vocally supporting causes, I guess?

ZenMasterBullshit
Nov 2, 2011

Restaurant de Nouvelles "À Table" Proudly Presents:
A Climactic Encounter Ending on 1 Negate and a Dream

Quorum posted:

This cartoon is very angry about people vocally supporting causes, I guess?

No they're rightfully annoyed with WokeAllies or your typical Male Feminist kind of assholes who are vocally supportive but don't anything or know anything outside of saying "Well I'm an Ally." while also usually doing hosed up poo poo. It's been a thing forever.

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Quorum
Sep 24, 2014

REMIND ME AGAIN HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE?

ZenMasterBullshit posted:

No they're rightfully annoyed with WokeAllies or your typical Male Feminist kind of assholes who are vocally supportive but don't anything or know anything outside of saying "Well I'm an Ally." while also usually doing hosed up poo poo. It's been a thing forever.

They failed to get that across, relying on the fact that their intended audience would already agree with them to fill in the gaps. In particular, they don't actually show the #woke guy doing anything heinous that would reveal him as a hypocrite, and instead have a totally different guy act like a lech. It's not a good cartoon, even if its intended message is good. :colbert:

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