/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Meme Emulator: Oct 4, 2000

Yawgmoth posted:

Both my parents worked and I didn't even have the ability to start trying to cook on my own until I was 20. Ironically I think it's the attitude of this thread that causes it, really; this "how do you not just know this stuff?" as if the knowledge just gets deposited in your head at a certain age alongside a set of pots & pans. Unfortunately, people don't have genetic knowledge and no one stops by with a free set of pots & pans and a jug of detergent. Washing machines have instructions on them, but (a) cookware is expensive especially as a college student, and (b) so are ingredients, which (c) if you gently caress it up you're just gonna be real loving hungry until you succeed or give up. Since a lot of people get zero guidance on how to function fully as an adult, it's no surprise that a lot of people don't function fully as adults.

Hmm, interesting, but as an insecure man on the internet Im going to have to say that if you cant cook youre a moron who needs to be put onto a train and shipped off to Siberia for being such a moron. Unlike me, who is very smart because I know how to make paella. Sometimes its so tuff being such a genius.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:20

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# ? Jun 13, 2024 07:28

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

the bar for humble bragging has been lowered to include basic life skills

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:26

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Me, age 15: mom stop cleaning my room and doing my laundry, it's weird
My mom: yes ok I agree
*twelve hours pass*
My mom: I broke the lock on your bedroom door so I could clean your room and do your laundry

Me, age 18: how much laundry soap do I put in the washing machine? Like a whole bottle? Sounds reasonable

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:39

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Meme Emulator posted:

Hmm, interesting, but as an insecure man on the internet Im going to have to say that if you cant cook youre a moron who needs to be put onto a train and shipped off to Siberia for being such a moron. Unlike me, who is very smart because I know how to make paella. Sometimes its so tuff being such a genius.

Boiling pasta isn't cooking. You moron. You utter failure. I'm calling your parents.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:43

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

It's not hard to cook. It's incredibly easy

If no one guided you, then watch a 2 minute youtube video on how to "put food in a pan until it is cooked"

Jesus

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:45

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tO9dA2syYM

Thought the thread might appreciate this.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:46

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Yawgmoth posted:

Both my parents worked and I didn't even have the ability to start trying to cook on my own until I was 20. Ironically I think it's the attitude of this thread that causes it, really; this "how do you not just know this stuff?" as if the knowledge just gets deposited in your head at a certain age alongside a set of pots & pans. Unfortunately, people don't have genetic knowledge and no one stops by with a free set of pots & pans and a jug of detergent. Washing machines have instructions on them, but (a) cookware is expensive especially as a college student, and (b) so are ingredients, which (c) if you gently caress it up you're just gonna be real loving hungry until you succeed or give up. Since a lot of people get zero guidance on how to function fully as an adult, it's no surprise that a lot of people don't function fully as adults.

idk it took like a week of university for me to get bored of lovely pre-made meals that go in a microwave for 3 mins before I Googled some recipes of stuff I wanted to eat. Short of catastrophically loving up, even if you make a mess of your first few attempts it will still be edible and probably less bad for you than processed garbage from the freezer aisle.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:48

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

I had most of my cooking done for me until my late teens. Laundry until 23 or so (I lived with my grandmother until college ended).

But I figured stuff out when I had to do it myself by, you know, READING labels and recipes. 99% of the time, between the washer and the detergent bottle, you can figure out how to wash clothes. 5 ingredient recipes are easy to follow. The bottle of spaghetti sauce tells you how to heat it.

Yeah, it slows you down a bit at first, but you're not competing in speed laundry.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:53

Meme Emulator: Oct 4, 2000

Theres a level of anxiety to the average teen that wasnt there like 20 years ago. A LOT of people are terrified to attempt to try anything unless theyve been trained by a licensed expert or else they think they could blow up the house.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 15:53

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I just remembered watching some documentary on an aristocrat that got put in jail because it turns out that the company he took over after his father was doing seriously illegal poo poo that he wasn't aware of (because he was an idiot) and he just kept signing tons of documents that were put on his desk without asking any questions until police knocked on the company door. He was describing how he was first struggling with preparing tea in jail using *gasp* an electric water boiler and tea bags because throughout his entire life servants prepared literally everything for him, he hasn't even dressed himself ever. He was like 50 years old when he was put in jail, it was hilarious.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 16:03

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It doesn't seem there's a lot of middle ground between people who were never taught how to operate a stove and washing machine, and people who were set to doing their own dishes and laundry as soon as they were tall enough to reach them.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 16:14

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Palpek posted:

I just remembered watching some documentary on an aristocrat that got put in jail because it turns out that the company he took over after his father was doing seriously illegal poo poo that he wasn't aware of (because he was an idiot) and he just kept signing tons of documents that were put on his desk without asking any questions until police knocked on the company door. He was describing how he was first struggling with preparing tea in jail using *gasp* an electric water boiler and tea bags because throughout his entire life servants prepared literally everything for him, he hasn't even dressed himself ever. He was like 50 years old when he was put in jail, it was hilarious.

Do you remember what this documentary was called? It sounds hilarious

# ? Jan 15, 2018 16:16

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

So, in short, I was doing a project on blood types for school earlier today. It required me to get the blood types of my family members.

I hope that was something he chose for himself because that would be a hilariously irresponsible thing for a teacher to assign.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:03

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

quote:

u/throwaway963123

Obviously using a throwaway account because... yeah.

So over the past few months I've noticed my husband sneaking out of the house at night, sometimes for hours at a time. I'm one of those people that fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow, so he obviously thinks I'm asleep, but one night I heard the baby crying and noticed he wasn't there. At first I thought he was sneaking out to see another woman, but it turns out it was worse than that, in my opinion anyway.

We had our first child in February this year, and he's been a really hands-on father. Always is there to take care of the baby despite having a full time job when I need a break and all that.

I don't know how else to really say what he's doing without it sounding completely insane (because it kind of is) but it turns out, when my husband goes out at night, all he does is go into the yard where the trash cans are, rummages around, and fishes out a dirty diaper from our child, opens it, and just stands there smelling it. It seems to only be the ones that our son has gone Number 2 in, because I've seen him toss back ones that presumably only have been peed in and look for a dirtier one. And then he just stands there, taking this deep contented breaths in of our child's excrement. For ages. The sad thing is, he looks so drat happy when he's doing it too. I've watched him from the window for weeks now, just standing out there, sniffing with this huge grin on his face, and then rummaging around for another.

The real icing on the cake was the other night when he came back to bed, once again thinking I was asleep. He must have got a bit too close to the diaper when he was sniffing our son's business, because when he got into bed with me I could smell something and opened my eyes a bit when I finally heard him snoring and it turns out he had a bit of poop on his nose. I felt so disgusted.

So I'm at a loss as to what I should do now. I love my husband but this freaks the hell out of me. Has this happened to anyone else before? Is it a fetish or something? I'm too scared to confront him but I know it needs to be done, and any advice would be great because, I mean, poo poo.

TL;DR - My husband sneaks outside at night to rummage around in the trash for our son's soiled diapers and then sits out there smelling them for hours. Don't know what the %*#& to do. Help?

EDIT 1: I'm still awake right now feeding the baby and waiting to see if he'll make a move later on. Thinking about confronting him, but not sure if I will or not yet. Will update.

EDIT 2: Wow, I can't believe how many people have replied to this post - first of all thank you for all the people who wrote in with such thoughtful advice, I can't reply to everyone but I've read every comment on here so thank you.

I still haven't confronted my husband about what he's doing, and the other night after my update, after waiting an hour or two, sure enough he snuck out again for his nightly diaper sniff. I was planning on confronting him but he ended up coming inside after only smelling one or two, and by the time he came back into bed I was too nervous and flustered to say anything, so just pretended to be asleep. I've decided though that either tonight or whenever he goes outside next (he doesn't every night, but most nights) to take a photo of him in the act and be waiting for him with the evidence when he returns inside. I've never been good with words and I'm just too nervous to sit down with him and bring it up, and someone suggested I photograph/video him so he has no choice to explain since I obviously have evidence and leave him no room to pass it off as me maybe seeing him doing something else. Hopefully I can get a clear enough picture that it will be enough for him to realise there's no way out but confront the issue. I'm nervous about how he will react, but I know he loves me and our family and hopefully there is some way we can work through whatever this is together as a family.

Thanks again for all the supportive comments and advice. There has been overwhelming support and only a few weird comments, and I really appreciate people reserving judgement of my family and I. I will update again once I've confronted him, and hopefully I'll be able to wrap this up nicely and it will be happy endings all round

EDIT 3: UPDATE.

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

quote:

u/throwaway963123

Original post here

First of all: I'm really sorry that it's taken so long to update about this, I've just logged on now for the first time in weeks because things have been absolutely insane for me. I've been putting off coming on here and updating because I'm ashamed and upset and things didn't go the way I'd hoped after confronting my husband, and it's all been just way to much for me to handle confronting myself, let along confessing to all of you. But I understand I posted my confession on here for advice, was met with overwhelming response, support and understanding and it's only fair that I give you guys at least one update on the situation as it stands today.

I hope you all understand that I don't want to go into too much detail with this. Firstly to protect our identities - because regardless of what happens, I never did this to name and shame anyone - and secondly because it's all too painful right now for me to sit down and write out every inch of hurt that has happened to me and my family over the past few weeks. I just don't have that emotional strength right now. Maybe in time I will, but right now, I just don't. So forgive me in advance if this is brief or I skim over details or dodge specifics.

Basically, a few nights after I posted my last EDIT on the previous post, I gathered the courage to confront my husband. In hindsight, it might not have been the best way to do it, but at the time it seemed logical and the least-confronting way I could with still providing proof for me and my husband to see.

So that night I took some pictures with my iPhone and a short video out our bedroom window of my husband outside. It was blurry and hard to see, but enough for him to understand I knew what was going on. I waited for him on our bed with the "evidence" for a good 45 minutes before he came back upstairs. I expected him to be shocked and ask me what I was doing up, but he instead surprised me. He said something along the lines of "Oh, did the baby wake you up? I was just downstairs eating some left overs." Kisses me on the cheek. "Goodnight then!" And tucks himself in and rolls over to sleep.

I was dumbfounded at how quick he was to lie straight to my face. I guess when he came upstairs I expected him to not be able to hold back from what he had been doing, or at least be worried about why I was awake, or the fact that I was awake. It made me so mad to see he was so prepared to lie to my face and pretend everything was fine when I had been concerned and upset for weeks, that I exploded. I marched around the bed and shoved the evidence in his face, yelling at him and asking what the f*% he had been doing for all this time and why. I demanded answers.

The next few hours went by in a blur of yelling and arguing - his argument basically was that I didn't, couldn't, and would never understand why he did it, so why should he even bother telling me. My issue was the fact that I was trying really hard to be understanding of his nightly trash can visits but instead I just got lied to by the one person in the world who is supposed to be honest to me. A lot more yelling - and I'm bawling at this stage - and ask between sobs if it's some sort of sexual arousal thing for him, and he surprises me once more by going completely silent and just looks down at his feet. I explode once more asking him how on earth he can find our child's excrement sexual in any way, to which he got angrier than I've ever seen him in my life, yelled at me, "See, this is exactly why I can't ever tell you," and walked out our front door and drove off.

He's been staying at his brother's house since, and hasn't been to see our son. Frankly, if he's getting off sexually by our son in any way, I don't want him here. I thought I'd give us a few days to cool down before calling him, but he called the next day and said we needed to talk about getting a divorce. We tried to both have a calm conversation - I said to him please lets try and sort something out, counselling, anything - and all he said in reply was "Can I see my son though?" And I told him that honestly I didn't think it was a good idea at this time considering the circumstances. He said okay and told him he'd be getting a lawyer and I probably should too. So right now we're doing it as civilly as we can through the legal system, but I doubt that he has anything against me considering I have evidence of sorts. My mother has come to stay with me in the family home to help out with the baby and I haven't had the courage to tell her what our divorce is over, I'm just too ashamed. All I've said is, it's bad, and I tried giving him the option to counselling which he rejected, and that's that.

I don't know what will happen from here. But I thought at least you guys should know the essence of it. Thanks again for all the support and understanding. I hope you don't judge me for the way I approached it, I know I could have done better, but what's done is done and I need to just put my heartbreak aside and try moving forward for the sake of my son, because he is and always will be the priority in my life.

TL;DR Husband and I are likely getting a divorce after I confronted him about sneaking out every night and smelling our son's dirty diapers from the trash and he alluded to the fact that he finds it sexually arousing.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:11

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Fartbox posted:

It's not hard to cook. It's incredibly easy

If no one guided you, then watch a 2 minute youtube video on how to "put food in a pan until it is cooked"

Jesus

YouTube didn't exist yet when I was 21, to be fair.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:12

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

jesus christ

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:13

Seven Hundred Bee: Nov 1, 2006

There's a big difference between knowing how to feed yourself and knowing how to actually cook. I'm 31 and I've been able to feed myself (cook pasta, grill chicken) for many years, but only in the last 5 years or so have I started to actually learn how to cook.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:18

Transmogrifier: Dec 10, 2004; Systems at max!; Lipstick Apathy

girl pants posted:

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

Yeah uh... I don't think we've had this one before.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:19

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Theophany posted:

idk it took like a week of university for me to get bored of lovely pre-made meals that go in a microwave for 3 mins before I Googled some recipes of stuff I wanted to eat. Short of catastrophically loving up, even if you make a mess of your first few attempts it will still be edible and probably less bad for you than processed garbage from the freezer aisle.

I have startling new information for you regarding this, apparently! It's really easy to gently caress up food. Even "really simple" stuff. Not to mention that if you don't have a support network willing to help you, basic amenities like a decent frying pan or a pot big enough to boil pasta can be a significant outlay and there are way more people in america who have to say "well I could go buy a pot and a pan but that's also my week's food budget" and surprisingly enough they'd rather eat crappy packaged poo poo than buy cookware and buy ingredients and spend what little free time they have learning to apply one to the other just for the nebulous potential benefit of "better food" some weeks down the road. It sucks but it's not surprising.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:27

Deltasquid: Apr 10, 2013; awww...
you guys made me ink!

THUNDERDOME

I basically never cooked until the age of 18 when I went to uni, and never did laundry until I went on erasmus at the age of 21. Thankfully for the former I just googled recipes of poo poo that sounded interesting to make and for the latter there was a laundry machine place in my street with a friendly old French owner who talked me through the process the first time, but honestly it's not shocking that throughout high school, especially in European countries, you don't touch the stove unless absolutely necessary. Many also don't have part-time jobs until uni, and even then that's the exception rather than the norm.

It's just that we've conditioned people to seek careful instructions to such a degree that the idea of diving right in and experimenting is terrifying to a lot of people.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:41

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

girl pants posted:

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

No no no no no :gonk:

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:43

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

It's not totally baseless paranoia, it can be reasonable depending on circumstances. My mom wouldn't let us kids do our own laundry because if we hosed up and broke something, or flooded the place or whatever, she wouldn't have the money to fix it and it would be a huge deal.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:45

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

girl pants posted:

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

Noooooooooooooo :allbuttons:

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:47

Barudak: May 7, 2007

girl pants posted:

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

This is a story where divorce isnt enough.

tactlessbastard posted:

I hope that was something he chose for himself because that would be a hilariously irresponsible thing for a teacher to assign.

We had to do it in school, didnt even need a slip for the fact we were cutting ourselves to get blood like it was babys first occult ritual.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:47

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

girl pants posted:

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

"It made me so mad to see he was so prepared to lie to my face and pretend everything was fine when I had been concerned and upset for weeks, that I exploded."

that dude is hosed, but this doesn't make any sense, no poo poo he is going to lie about it

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:52

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

girl pants posted:

I don't know if this has been posted before but this thread is really long and it's insane so here goes

My husband's dirty secret turned out to be much dirtier than I could ever imagine...

(UPDATE) My husband's dirty secret...

What the gently caress, this must be one of the nastiest in the thread.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:54

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

Yawgmoth posted:

I have startling new information for you regarding this, apparently! It's really easy to gently caress up food. Even "really simple" stuff.

No, no it is not. I hate this loving myth. It is actively hard to gently caress up boiling an egg. Or making pasta. Or even something 'complicated' like a stir fry (Meat and vegetables in a pan with some oil for a few minutes) or baking bread (literally just flour and water in the oven for a while will get you something that can be called bread.). The myth that cooking takes some kind of expert talent is honestly probably the main contribution to people refusing to cook, and I hate it. It doesn't even take very long if you make something simple; you can make a decent meal in like 15-30 minutes tops, and it doesn't matter what your life is like, you have 15-30 minutes.

And I have never met or heard of a single person who didn't have a pan/pot/some sort of metal vessel that can be used for cooking. Everyone has one, even if it's just a lovely one your parents gave you 15 years ago to get it out of their house. And ingredient costs are literally less than you pay for shittier food.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 17:58

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Meme Emulator posted:

Theres a level of anxiety to the average teen that wasnt there like 20 years ago. A LOT of people are terrified to attempt to try anything unless theyve been trained by a licensed expert or else they think they could blow up the house.

loving rampant helplessness these days

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:04

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Not a single fucking olive in sight

AnoHito posted:

And I have never met or heard of a single person who didn't have a pan/pot/some sort of metal vessel that can be used for cooking. Everyone has one, even if it's just a lovely one your parents gave you 15 years ago to get it out of their house. And ingredient costs are literally less than you pay for shittier food.

Cooking for one is a lot more work and marginally cheaper than just getting takeout, cooking is one of those things that economies of scale really factor it.

When I was single I never cooked, I cook at least 4 nights a week when it feeds two people plus lunch the next day and I have help cleaning everything up.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:09

Saeku: Sep 22, 2010

AnoHito posted:

And I have never met or heard of a single person who didn't have a pan/pot/some sort of metal vessel that can be used for cooking. Everyone has one, even if it's just a lovely one your parents gave you 15 years ago to get it out of their house. And ingredient costs are literally less than you pay for shittier food.

Everyone who has ever cooked has one. You underestimate the kind of abnormal situations people can come out of.

I grew up in a household that didn't cook and it was a big learning curve on the basic poo poo ("you fill the sink to wash dishes," "butter knives aren't for food prep," "fat helps food brown," etc.) as well as figuring out the kind of home cooked meals people make.

Cooking is easy but when you grow up knowing nothing about how people cook & eat it's easy to mistake home gourmet recipes for the baseline and get the impression that cooking's a waste of time and money.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:24

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Barudak posted:

We had to do it in school, didnt even need a slip for the fact we were cutting ourselves to get blood like it was babys first occult ritual.

That's really weird to me - usually stuff like that (and those cool papers treated with that chemical which there's a dominant gene-plex to have taste awful rather than tasteless) doesn't get done experimentally with students' families for the exact reason that you end up finding kids who never knew they were adopted or mothers who cheated or stuff like that.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:24

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Knew a guy who was on the spectrum and he cooked a chicken breast and potatoes in a frying pan for lunch every day for two years between 17-19. He even upgrading to putting some mixed herbs on the potatoes at some point. I wasn't trying to shame people who can't whip up a souffle by the age of 13, but just baffled at people who claim to be unable to prepare even the most basic kinds of food by 20-21. Just knowing there are people out there who can code in five different languages but can't open a can of beans just makes me lol

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:26

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

I love cooking and I have fun doing it. my husband is fine at doing most of the chores (we usually do a lot of them together though) but he can't really cook at all. it's sad. I'm not a very good teacher unfortunately lmao

also you don't need a giant pot for pasta, depending on what you're making. most pasta can be cooked with just an inch or so of water covering it. I usually break spaghetti/long noodles in half so I can use a smaller pot. it also gives you the bonus of concentrated starchy water if you need it for your sauce!

I think I take my knife skills and like general cooking skills (knowing how to stir food, manage the stove heat, etc.) for granted bc most people I know just... don't cook, or can't.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:30

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Anxiety can genuinely play into a lot of stuff, like an actual anxiety disorder can freak you out so much about starting something you settle on 'doing it gradually' and end up putting it off. But as someone with potentially pretty severe anxiety myself, I've figured out the best way to deal with that is to just force yourself to do something and see what happens. If you gently caress up it feels bad, but then you know what to avoid doing next time. Even with stuff like driving, like, that's why there's driving instructors in the first place. Putting things off because you're anxious just gives you more time to feel anxious, and gently caress that.

I do think it's pretty important to give kids basic household tasks for chores, though, just so they can get used to doing it and doing it on their own. Even keep rotating that stuff so you start them off on laundry and then when they've got that down maybe shift to something else. It's really bad parenting to not let your child do anything on their own and I actually have a few friends whose parents did that explicitly so they couldn't be independent and get the hell out of there as soon as they turned 18, which they did anyway because gently caress that noise.

It's hilarious that this lady hosed up her own situation by being lovely and condescending to her mother, though. She should just start trying to do stuff on her own because her mom is not going to have any sympathy if she folds right away, whereas if she's putting in the effort she's more likely to get some leeway.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:35

Nessa: Dec 15, 2008

I had to be taught how to make ramen and do laundry when I was 18.

I didn't know how to do a lot of things because my mom just did everything for me. I grew up in a hoarder house, so I didn't know how to clean things properly or how frequently.

I still have problems with that, but my house isn't a sty (well, it is a little bit right now because I've been sick). It's nowhere near the kind of mess I grew up in and I will never let it get that far.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:48

Harrow: Jun 30, 2012

The Snoo posted:

also you don't need a giant pot for pasta, depending on what you're making. most pasta can be cooked with just an inch or so of water covering it. I usually break spaghetti/long noodles in half so I can use a smaller pot. it also gives you the bonus of concentrated starchy water if you need it for your sauce!

Starchy pasta water is magic and I didn't learn that until relatively recently.

I recently taught my mom that you can cook pasta in a very small amount of water and she was really skeptical, and then pleasantly surprised when it worked.

The Snoo posted:

I think I take my knife skills and like general cooking skills (knowing how to stir food, manage the stove heat, etc.) for granted bc most people I know just... don't cook, or can't.

A lot of baby boomer parents never taught their kids how to cook because they relied so heavily on frozen or canned foods (like my parents did). Luckily I grew up watching the Food Network back when they showed actual cooking shows and ended up really interested in cooking from an early age.

I'm never surprised when people my age don't know how to cook for themselves but that's something I think we really need to teach everyone in school or some poo poo like that. Every adult should have the basic skills necessary to take raw ingredients and use them to feed themselves.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:53

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Do most high schools not have a required Home Ec class? Mine did and that's where I learned to cook.

EDIT: Also learned basic sewing and washing dishes by hand and stuff.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:57

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

im so fuckin glad i grew up in a family where cooking was a family activity and everyone did it and enjoyed cooking and teaching recipes to each other, for real

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:58

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

PetraCore posted:

Do most high schools not have a required Home Ec class? Mine did and that's where I learned to cook.

At my school the boys could choose shop class and the girls home ec. For some reason loving around with a lathe didn't really teach a lot of important life skills, not even lathe safety.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:59

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# ? Jun 13, 2024 07:28

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

PetraCore posted:

Do most high schools not have a required Home Ec class? Mine did and that's where I learned to cook.

I went to two different high schools and neither of them even had home ec.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 18:59

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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