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false flag post-op
May 13, 2009

Enjoy Every Sandvich

loquacius posted:

What I don't get is why you'd stop at 68

one more makes the funny sex number


SKIPPING: "I am racist yes indeed" and another that appears to be the ravings of a druggie (nothing interesting sorry)

Go get something to drink before reading this one, she's a long'un


I gotta say the number one thought on my mind the whole time I was reading this was "open or not, this relationship needs to end"

Like, I was astounded you hadn't already ended it around the time she went to jail for domestic assault with a deadly weapon. I dunno, it's good that she's getting treatment, but considering all that's happened I think you can be forgiven for taking a little break from her.

753951 in E/N posted:

TL;DR: Recent ex is getting mental health treatment and improving, but I wonder if three-weeks into treatment is too soon to try and slap a bf/gf label on us again.




What is going on here... :thunk:

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loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

false flag post-op posted:

What is going on here... :thunk:

Looks like either (a) the original confessor decided to widen his net a little bit w/r/t internet opinions, or (b) someone copied from that thread and submitted to this one. I can verify that the email I got was received three days after that post.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Maybe it's just so common of a problem that two totally separate people had the same issue and described it the same way.

420 SWAGLORD
Apr 20, 2014

saban bajramovic
Some good poster copied it and submitted it here for hot takes and fun, everyone loves hot takes and fun

420 SWAGLORD fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jan 16, 2018

8 Ball
Nov 27, 2010

My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Maybe it's just so common of a problem that two totally separate people had the same issue and described it the same way.
heck whose open relationship hasn't ended in knife violence

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

therapy goon is definitely dead, and we killed him

Fartbox
Apr 27, 2017
What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Maybe it is for the best

marathon Stairmaster sesh
Apr 28, 2009

ALL HAIL CEO NUGGET
1988-PRESENT

We killed puppetmaster goon's enjoyment of their ploy, does that count?

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

I feel like if this wasn't posted for therapy goon it should have been. Also you should be paying attention open relationship/knife wound goon

Mayor Wilkins posted:

OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!"
OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
OP: "Guys quit pissing on me!"

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."
Let's hope he's dead. The alternative would be marriage.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Police Automaton posted:

Let's hope he's dead. The alternative would be marriage.

Don't even joke about that! He didn't get married man. Jeez.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Police Automaton posted:

Let's hope he's dead. The alternative would be marriage.

Hey, what happened to that goon who was marrying some girl (Daisy?) but was also in love with his ex?

What you said could apply to him too.

Edit: Found it... It's been over a year since the last post. :negative:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3760159&pagenumber=14&perpage=40

Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Jan 17, 2018

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."
I think it's mostly the embarrassment over telling a bunch of internet-strangers your life story as soon as you realize you did exactly that that makes the people disappear, and IIRC there already was quite a bit of well pissing going on around therapy goons last confession. Might have driven him off too.

Well therapy goon if you are reading this let us know what happened, we kinda wonder if you got murdered.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

We have too many feral cats and coyotes where I live so I sometimes take my bow and broadheads and go kill them. In part this is because I have lots of loony neighbors who actually put out food for these things. Interestingly enough there are no hunting restrictions on these pest animals where I live, but feeding them is actually illegal. However, I feel as though because of how the media handles this issue, I'm the one who will be seen as "wrong" if anyone knows I'm doing this.
I'd like to make a cat/coyote fur vest (100% legal, as long as not from people's pets) and wear it just to give some of these little senile old cat ladies strokes, but the snowbirds are taking over this town and I need to not destroy my reputation. They think all cats should be protected like the babies they never had, then put out beef and pork byproducts from animals raised and killed under the cruelest industrial conditions (I am mostly vegetarian), then bitch that bowhunting, which 99% of the time is an instant kill on a cat if done right, is inhumane.

Maybe my caffeine just hasn't kicked in yet but I cannot muster an opinion on bowhunting stray cats

Subject line: I HAVE A FOLDER ON MY COMPUTER DESKTOP

quote:

ITS CALLED "TARDIGRADES AND DRAGONS". ITS FILLED WITH PICTURES OF TARDIGRADA AND DRAGONS. LOOKING AT IT MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY THAT THESE THINGS EXIST (EXCEPT FOR THE DRAGONS). I WAS SECRETLY DISAPPOINTED THE NORKS DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAND HAWAII THE BIG ONE. HAVING TRUMP TURN NORTH KOREA INTO A GLASS PARKING LOT IN RETALIATION WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME. "NEVER FORGET" WHAT HAWAII DID TO FAKE THE OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND BLOCK TRUMP'S PLAN TO KEEP TERRORISTS OUT. ARE HAWAIIANS EVEN REAL AMERICANS, THEY SEEM PRETTY STUCK UP ON THEIR OWN STONE AGE MOANA-MAUI FANTASY CULTURE.

I gotta say I was all hyped up to make a "2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng" joke here but then you blindsided me with the "gently caress Hawaii" take out of nowhere, well done

Anyway Hawaii is awesome and I'm glad it's still there and would highly recommend going there and I would absolutely watch a Game Of Thrones ripoff about Kamehameha I uniting the archipelago

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
... what can I say except you’re welcome

Arven
Sep 23, 2007
If you can actually regularly kill coyotes that regularly with a bow, that's pretty drat impressive. I know people who've gone coyote hunting for years and taken dozens of shots at them (with rifles!) at never managed to hit one. I've gone myself and missed a shot; they don't stand still for you to shoot at them.

TheKennedys
Sep 23, 2006

By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

loquacius posted:

I would absolutely watch a Game Of Thrones ripoff about Kamehameha I uniting the archipelago

adding this to the list of "shows I never knew I wanted to watch"

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

loquacius posted:

Maybe my caffeine just hasn't kicked in yet but I cannot muster an opinion on bowhunting stray cats

I would like to know how he knows a given cat is in fact a stray/wild cat and not Mr Fluffles, beloved and treasured pet of one of his neighbours, out and about for a stroll. Because if some rear end in a top hat shot my cat with a bow and arrow for funsies I would in fact be pretty loving furious.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Wild animals are often highlighted in red instead of green for domesticated animals. That's the easiest way to tell.

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
If at any point you find yourself researching the legalities behind making a vest out of stray cats you bow hunted

I mean god drat I don't even know what

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
He really likes his vest.

Camrath
Mar 19, 2004

The UKMT Fudge Baron


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyWVaZsUQjc&app=desktop

Leviathan Song
Sep 8, 2010
Outdoor cats are the worst, feral or otherwise. They're an invasive species that kills the cool native birds and spreads disease.
Reducing the feral cat population is a service to the community but the best way to do it is to catch, neuter or spay, then release. That way they displace other cats that would reproduce and reduce the size of the next generation.

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
But birds are annoying fucks who wake up my kid in the morning. All hail the catpocalypse!! Death to all birds!

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

Arven posted:

If you can actually regularly kill coyotes that regularly with a bow, that's pretty drat impressive. I know people who've gone coyote hunting for years and taken dozens of shots at them (with rifles!) at never managed to hit one. I've gone myself and missed a shot; they don't stand still for you to shoot at them.

Have you ever tried leaving bowls of food on your neighbors back stoop and just sitting and waiting for dem coyotes to take the bait?

Arven
Sep 23, 2007

DandyLion posted:

Have you ever tried leaving bowls of food on your neighbors back stoop and just sitting and waiting for dem coyotes to take the bait?

It's illegal hunt them by luring with food here, but I get your point.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Just LoL at anyone who keeps indoor//outdoor cats and actually expects them not to die horribly to nature or traffic.

You don’t keep your cat safe, you can’t expect someone not to snipe it.

Edit: in coyote country no less

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

I'm sympathetic to feral cats and worry about the strays I see in my neighborhood but just letting the population boom isn't a kindness to the local wildlife OR to the cats. I'm generally in favor of catch and release spaying and neutering as opposed to bowhunting, but will concede it doesn't sound like you're in it to cause pain to the animals.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Why not just import more coyotes to hunt down all the feral cats?

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Bust Rodd posted:

Just LoL at anyone who keeps indoor//outdoor cats and actually expects them not to die horribly to nature or traffic.

You don’t keep your cat safe, you can’t expect someone not to snipe it.

Edit: in coyote country no less

'Nature or traffic' vs some random dude intentionally murdering your cat so he can wear her skin are kind of two different things dude

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

soy posted:

But birds are annoying fucks who wake up my kid in the morning. All hail the catpocalypse!! Death to all birds!

dope your kid with tranqs

420 SWAGLORD
Apr 20, 2014

saban bajramovic

SniperWoreConverse posted:

dope your kid with tranqs

My children will NOT grow up in a world where they are awoken by birdsong each morning. Unacceptable.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


feedmegin posted:

'Nature or traffic' vs some random dude intentionally murdering your cat so he can wear her skin are kind of two different things dude

The documentary “Gummo” covered this.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

My confession is that I am a very private person... but hoard information.

I love being anonymous. I love to go out at night with cash, walking the streets, phone turned off. Maybe grab a beer or a bite, walk up and down streets noting security cameras. The idea I could Forensic Files someone and walk home and never grace a camera, ping a cell tower, or charge a credit card excites me. Anonymous, in the middle of a city.

Conversely, I hoard information. For example, here on SA if someone makes a post about something remotely personal, I file it away.

So if someone says they live in Lake Oswego I file it away. Or if they say the the first time they paid attention to football was "super bowl XXXI when I was 9" I do file that away and do the math for a birth year. You get the idea.

The "post history" feature only goes back about a 1000 posts, so I think people assume if they share small tidbits they'll fall away unnoticed. But they don't.

I don't really do anything with them... sometimes if I get really mad at someone I look up photos of their house on the county tax assessment site and think about how Forensic Files would write it up if I went out there. But that's just that: thoughts - I don't act on them.

I'm pretty positive if anyone found this file they'd be freaked out, but honestly I don't have much sympathy. If you don't like me having your personal information, don't post it. Pretty simple concept really. I don't do phishing or pretexting, I literally just take what you post and plug it into search engines and public databases.

I don't think I'd ever use it, but I must admit it does feel good knowing that if someone ever did start really messing with me I could go old school SA and send them a picture of their house. (Though post street view that's not very intimidating I guess)

If it makes you feel better I do it with the people I know IRL too - anything of use they mention, it goes in the diary. Everyone IRL likes me. I remember birthdays, ask about their kids, it's like I give a poo poo. They like that. If people knew how much of my interactions are planned, they'd probably freak out.

lol the football thing was me

kudos :tipshat:

No idea where Lake Oswego is though

quote:

I have had a couple sex dreams about coatimundis. No idea why. Ive been taking CBDs to sleep and it works great but it also gives me these intense real-seeming dreams. I had one last night where I hooked up with a coati, had sex and then I was able to talk to her using this old flip phone through text, asking if she had a good time, want to hang out again, etc. I thought she was really cute and the sex was great. No idea where this comes from since I normally dont fantasize about sex with animals but that dream was hot. I definitely looked up pictures of coatis in what looked like suggestive poses and jerked off to them when I woke up. I had a similar dream a few years ago same thing but without being able to communicate with her. She took the lead and was on top riding me cowgirl style. Last night was regular old missionary. Dont take drugs kids.

Let me save you a Google, a coatimundi is this thing

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Ugliest damned raccoon I've ever seen.

RCarr
Dec 24, 2007

I'd gently caress it

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
That "information hoarder" sounds like a creepy as hell mother fucker. Have fun!

RCarr
Dec 24, 2007

Send me a picture of my house you loving loser. I dare you.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

I think that fesh might have been an ill-conceived plot to freak me out by reciting a factoid about me in a vaguely threatening manner but I don't really mind if someone on the Internet knows how old I am

I am 30

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DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

loquacius posted:

I think that fesh might have been an ill-conceived plot to freak me out by reciting a factoid about me in a vaguely threatening manner but I don't really mind if someone on the Internet knows how old I am

I'll bet I can guess your age and weight.

You are 30 years old and weight less than Donald Trump.

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