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loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

DandyLion posted:

I'll bet I can guess your age and weight.

You are 30 years old and weight less than Donald Trump.

holy poo poo *spins desk chair around* where are you, show yourself :tinfoil:

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limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

DandyLion posted:

I'll bet I can guess your age and weight.

You are 30 years old and weight less than Donald Trump.

Which weight are we talking about? His actual weight or the technically below obese weight his doctor gave?

sandoz
Jan 29, 2009


in donald trump units I am 6'0" and 195lbs

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
It’s like someone asked themselves “how could I make my puppet master fesh into something even more pathetic”

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

sandoz posted:

in donald trump units I am 6'0" and 195lbs

5’10” and 230?

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Info hoarder sent a followup saying he wasn't trying to intimidate me, but considered it a relatively innocuous piece of info to reveal, which is true. No beef here, we're cool :)

Since I have the feshes and the time, here's a second post, like old times

quote:

My fiancé and I are getting married in September. My parents are giving me 2000 towards the wedding, contingent upon us completing a counseling session.

We were put into a group class along with some married couples already having problems. Immediately I noticed a redhead with the most amazing body I’ve ever seen, I am talking top tier porn star good.

As we introduced ourselves to the class she and her husband mentioned they had been married 3 years but were having problems and needed to rediscover why they were together.

We made eyes at each other a few times during class and, I’ll be honest, I basically forgot my fiancé was even there.

In the third class we did a group exercise of pairing up with another couple and pretending they were us. Julia (the redhead) basically let slip that she had an extremely high sex drive and felt like Pat (her husband) didn’t meet her needs.

Holy loving yum is all I could think.

I have become obsessed with her. Last night during sex with my fiancé I just thought of Julia.

The plot twist is that you couldn't meet Julia's needs either

Related to current thread discussion:

quote:

President Trump recently had his annual physical. A lot of people are questioning the results, especially because he’s conveniently 1 lb under obese. I was one of the nurses assisting on the physical, and here are the true results that I can confirm;

Trump weighs 286 lbs and is 6 foot 3

He currently takes medication for hair loss, high cholesterol, constipation, and he also takes a multivitamin and Ambien.

The attendant physician discovered the beginnings of diabetes (Trump has complained about “losing energy” a lot) and suggested a better diet and exercise to lose weight and combat this.

Mental health is the worrying part. By the time you read this, the “full report” will be out and say that Trump scored a 30/30 on his test of cognitive abilities. That’s propaganda. He scored a 19.

The 30 score was published so as to not feed into the fear of a “Dementia President” ruling the most powerful country in the world. I’m not sure if the true story will be released, short of Trump being impeached.

19 is the equivalent of an athlete with extremely severe CTE, or an elderly person with the beginning stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s, or someone who suffered semi-major brain damage from losing oxygen to the brain for a short period.

I do not believe this fesh is true but I hope it is

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
its amazing how many goons that read this thread work in or around the whitehouse :shrug:

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
No wonder the Secret Service had to visit Lowtax, the White House is entirely staffed with goons

Lote
Aug 5, 2001

Place your bets

loquacius posted:

Info hoarder sent a followup saying he wasn't trying to intimidate me, but considered it a relatively innocuous piece of info to reveal, which is true. No beef here, we're cool :)

Since I have the feshes and the time, here's a second post, like old times


The plot twist is that you couldn't meet Julia's needs either

Related to current thread discussion:


I do not believe this fesh is true but I hope it is

19/30 is so bad that you would notice severe problems just by having a 5 min or less conversation. It would be obvious to everyone that there's a problem. Should've gone with 23/30. He would also be taking a medication to treat Alzheimers. Try harder next time.

Blue Moonlight
Apr 28, 2005
Bitter and Sarcastic

Anne Whateley posted:

No wonder the Secret Service had to visit Lowtax, the White House is entirely staffed with goons

Do you have stairs in your White House? :ohdear:

Son of Man
Jan 29, 2003

by Azathoth
well the staffers interviewed in wolf's tell-all said that in a ten minute conversation trump would repeat the same story 3 times...

the dude is a loving idiot though he may have been doing this for years

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
cspam had that guy who kept on having to give briefings to white house peeps

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Lote posted:

19/30 is so bad that you would notice severe problems just by having a 5 min or less conversation. It would be obvious to everyone that there's a problem. Should've gone with 23/30. He would also be taking a medication to treat Alzheimers. Try harder next time.

Watched five minutes of a speech and this checks out.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Lote posted:

19/30 is so bad that you would notice severe problems just by having a 5 min or less conversation. It would be obvious to everyone that there's a problem. Should've gone with 23/30. He would also be taking a medication to treat Alzheimers. Try harder next time.

Have you ever listened to him talk?

RCarr
Dec 24, 2007

Lote posted:

19/30 is so bad that you would notice severe problems just by having a 5 min or less conversation. It would be obvious to everyone that there's a problem. Should've gone with 23/30. He would also be taking a medication to treat Alzheimers. Try harder next time.

Yea this is excruciatingly obvious any time the man talks.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

loquacius posted:

I do not believe this fesh is true but I hope it is

The real reason I know its fake is because there's no way Trump is 6'3".



Obama is 6'1"

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

blarzgh posted:

The real reason I know its fake is because there's no way Trump is 6'3".



Obama is 6'1"

hey now, it's equally as likely that Obama is secretly 6'3" and lied to say he was shorter for some unknown unfathomable reason :shepface:

quote:

So the news is claiming these "accidental" nuclear alerts were caused by poor user interaces.

However, I have it on good authority that one of these facilities had screen recording software in place to ensure workers are not goofing off.

The video clearly shows the worker moving their cursor to the "test" case, then suddenly it was as if an occult hand had jerked the cursor to the live scenario".

It appears that possibly these systems have been infected with trojans, and an attacker jostled the mouse at the last minute.

At first people were VERY upset, but it looks like the connection was not coming from a hostile area. A certain agency will look at tempora data and retrace some things to be sure, but it looks like it was just some kid in a basement, much like that mac virus turned out to be a kid in ohio getting nudes.

But they're never going to admit that publicly. So they'll pretend it was "user error" but they're letting the guy keep his job (he'll be pulling a full George Costanza the rest of his days there most likely)

http://www.kunc.org/post/ohio-man-charged-putting-spyware-thousands-computers

I mean it was at least terrible UX design, either way not really the guy's fault

quote:

i was just in my kitchen and it was like midnight im up real late on a worknight, right? i was kinda hopping around, daydreaming i was hawkeye from the avengers marvel movies. i pretended to pull back the bow and my shoulder nearly popped out. this was the oldest i have ever felt.

Go to the doctor

and tell them you were doing something serious and grownup when it happened, rather than pretending to be Hawkeye from the Avengers Marvel movies

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Yeah, get percocet and rewatch the Avenger movies on your day off of work.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
Lol your fantasy is to be hawkeye

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

fruit on the bottom posted:

Lol your fantasy is to be hawkeye

Hawkeye is the one who gets to date Black Widow IIRC

that's basically all he has going for him

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002

loquacius posted:

Hawkeye is the one who gets to date Black Widow IIRC

that's basically all he has going for him

You do not recall correctly

sandoz
Jan 29, 2009


VanSandman posted:

5’10” and 230?

no, worse lol

sandoz
Jan 29, 2009


loquacius posted:



I do not believe this fesh is true but I hope it is

yeah he's provably about 6'0"

obama was 6'1" and any pics of the two of them together show that he's slightly taller than even Trump's hair helmet

Fintilgin
Sep 29, 2004

Fintilgin sweeps!

quote:

We were put into a group class along with some married couples already having problems.

:lol:

This seems like a terrible idea.

sandoz
Jan 29, 2009


hi I reply to posts without reading the thread

23/30

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

All you dumb underachieving mother fuckers, I scored a 40/30.

Git gud :smuggo:

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

sandoz posted:

hi I reply to posts without reading the thread

23/30

Next time I do this on accident, I'm going to edit my post and just copy and paste the prior post into it without quotes.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

ALFbrot posted:

You do not recall correctly

In the comics it happens.

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."
I always dream I'm hawkeye from mash

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

I dream I'm Radar. :smith:

Ghostnuke
Sep 21, 2005

Throw this in a pot, add some broth, a potato? Baby you got a stew going!


McGavin posted:

I dream I'm Radar. :smith:

you're klinger and you know it

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth

McGavin posted:

I dream I'm Radar. :smith:

sorry about your hosed up hand

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Ghostnuke posted:

you're klinger and you know it

Radar in the streets, Klinger between the sheets. :heysexy:

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all
Trump could also have lost a few inches because he's old and has a lovely spine and bad posture. Like I doubt someone is actually tracking his height the way they do a child and he's just been putting the same height down on the form for decades. It really doesn't matter though because his criticizing his weight and height are just distractions from going after his policies.

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002

Atlas Hugged posted:

Trump could also have lost a few inches because he's old and has a lovely spine and bad posture. Like I doubt someone is actually tracking his height the way they do a child and he's just been putting the same height down on the form for decades. It really doesn't matter though because his criticizing his weight and height are just distractions from going after his policies.

I don't think that the White House physician is just going to let the president fill in his own height and weight and then put it out as a press release, saying "looks right to me"

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

ALFbrot posted:

I don't think that the White House physician is just going to let the president fill in his own height and weight and then put it out as a press release, saying "looks right to me"

I mean why the hell not? He's the boss.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

ALFbrot posted:

I don't think that the White House physician is just going to let the president fill in his own height and weight and then put it out as a press release, saying "looks right to me"

Why?

CheesyDog
Jul 4, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
If Donald Trump tells you he's got a one inch dick you can be sure that motherfucker's hung like a Ken doll

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

Donald Trump is a fat man over 70, he takes a hell of a lot more medications than that

There are a lot of old people, and there are a lot of fat people but there are not a lot of old fat people. Trump is gonna die from a "cardiac event" while in office

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Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all
No, he's going to be a two term president and live into his 90s.

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