Schadenfreude Thread: What did they think would happen?

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Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Swatting comes to mind

# ? Jan 22, 2018 15:05

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# ? May 15, 2024 06:20

cock hero flux: Apr 17, 2011

Ride The Gravitron posted:

https://i.imgur.com/ph3fSOA.gifv

the giant pile of plates just stacked on top that wobbles precariously the entire time

# ? Jan 22, 2018 15:14

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

Ak Gara posted:

My mother in law trying to stand?

# ? Jan 22, 2018 15:16

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

Solice Kirsk posted:

How would you die?

You call the police to report CP and they show up and gun you down

# ? Jan 22, 2018 16:50

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

A FUCKIN CANARY!! posted:

If I was working on someone's computer and found illegal porn I'd almost certainly just let it go because they can always just argue that I put it on there myself. Then I'm stuck in a giant legal clusterfuck and/or beaten to death.

idk, if they're stupid enough to not only have child porn but let someone else use their computer, i doubt they'd know much about file creation dates and poo poo, u kno?

# ? Jan 22, 2018 16:55

MisterBibs: Jul 17, 2010; dolla dolla
bill y'all; Fun Shoe

I thought he was making a "Kid diddlers get targeted by every other type of inmate in jail" thing.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 16:57

Antioch: Apr 18, 2003

I got fired for reporting Child Porn once.

I was working at an internet cafe in 2004. We had one regular who would come in and play Everquest for a few hours. Always liked to have an upstairs machine, it was quieter. So he comes in, I grab him his coffee and sandwich, he goes off to his computer. Half an hour later I go upstairs to see if he needs anything, dishes cleaned, etc, and he's in the bathroom but the computer is unlocked and there's CP just right there on the screen.

So I went downstairs and called the cops. The main station was literally a block down the street so two officers are there in like, 45 seconds. Caught the guy red handed, arrested him, and off they go. An hour later they're back, collecting the computer and such.

The next day, I got an irate call from my boss, that I "Let them steal [his] equipment" and "why couldn't I just shut up and leave well enough alone". Then he fired me.

The cafe was closed within a month. CP guy got thrown in jail for a few years.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 16:59

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

you did the right thing

# ? Jan 22, 2018 17:02

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Cage posted:

I watched this gif very carefully...I only allowed myself to see the tops of his shoes at first. I expected it to end just like that other one.

So what's the other one of which you speak? Don't want to see it, just a general description. Because I was afraid to watch that one.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 17:06

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

So what's the other one of which you speak? Don't want to see it, just a general description. Because I was afraid to watch that one.

i'm assuming it's the one where the person's knees bend the other way

Cage posted:

I watched this gif very carefully...I only allowed myself to see the tops of his shoes at first. I expected it to end just like that other one.

i did the same thing

# ? Jan 22, 2018 17:07

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

Antioch posted:

I got fired for reporting Child Porn once.

I was working at an internet cafe in 2004. We had one regular who would come in and play Everquest for a few hours. Always liked to have an upstairs machine, it was quieter. So he comes in, I grab him his coffee and sandwich, he goes off to his computer. Half an hour later I go upstairs to see if he needs anything, dishes cleaned, etc, and he's in the bathroom but the computer is unlocked and there's CP just right there on the screen.

So I went downstairs and called the cops. The main station was literally a block down the street so two officers are there in like, 45 seconds. Caught the guy red handed, arrested him, and off they go. An hour later they're back, collecting the computer and such.

The next day, I got an irate call from my boss, that I "Let them steal [his] equipment" and "why couldn't I just shut up and leave well enough alone". Then he fired me.

The cafe was closed within a month. CP guy got thrown in jail for a few years.

I feel like I've read this story before here, in like a bad job thread or something. It boggles my mind every time I think of it.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 17:25

Antioch: Apr 18, 2003

SpacePig posted:

I feel like I've read this story before here, in like a bad job thread or something. It boggles my mind every time I think of it.

I've posted it a couple times. It's certainly one of the weirdest things that's ever happened to me.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 17:29

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

When I was in college I worked an internship with the admin of the computer labs. One of our nightly backups failed because one user had gone hideously over the average on his network storage. Which is weird because users only got a network share if they were in one of the programming courses. I only got as far as BARYNARD_FUN.MPEG before I escalated the issue to the admin and asked the programming instructor where <user> sat and lo and behold he had installed Limewire and utterly defiled that machine with Viruses.

Pretty sure that guy got kicked out of the tech course at the very least.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 17:43

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

So what's the other one of which you speak? Don't want to see it, just a general description. Because I was afraid to watch that one.

Use search terms like "woman's leg break in weight machine"
or "guy breaks leg leg press"
Not mind safe

# ? Jan 22, 2018 18:40

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

The Snoo posted:

i'm assuming it's the one where the person's knees bend the other way

If people are really curious about the other leg press videos then here's a :nms:

youtube compilation of the worst ones :nms:

If you don't want to watch it but want a description: his knee bends 90 degrees the wrong way. It looks like he feet were locked in place so he probably broke his ankle as well.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 18:41

Inco: Apr 3, 2009; I have been working out! My modem is broken and my phone eats half the posts I try to make, including all the posts I've tried to make here. I'll try this one more time.

Antioch posted:

I got fired for reporting Child Porn once.

I was working at an internet cafe in 2004. We had one regular who would come in and play Everquest for a few hours. Always liked to have an upstairs machine, it was quieter. So he comes in, I grab him his coffee and sandwich, he goes off to his computer. Half an hour later I go upstairs to see if he needs anything, dishes cleaned, etc, and he's in the bathroom but the computer is unlocked and there's CP just right there on the screen.

So I went downstairs and called the cops. The main station was literally a block down the street so two officers are there in like, 45 seconds. Caught the guy red handed, arrested him, and off they go. An hour later they're back, collecting the computer and such.

The next day, I got an irate call from my boss, that I "Let them steal [his] equipment" and "why couldn't I just shut up and leave well enough alone". Then he fired me.

The cafe was closed within a month. CP guy got thrown in jail for a few years.

That sounds like a slam dunk wrongful termination suit. I'm pretty sure that even in bullshit at-will employment states, firing someone for reporting a felony is a big no-no.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 20:10

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

If people are really curious about the other leg press videos then here's a youtube compilation of the worst ones

If you don't want to watch it but want a description: his knee bends 90 degrees the wrong way. It looks like he feet were locked in place so he probably broke his ankle as well.

I'm not a fitness or engineering expert, but it seems like a really bad idea to have a machine that can do that.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 20:34

Not Operator: Jan 1, 2009; Not A doctor, THE Doctor!

Sunswipe posted:

I'm not a fitness or engineering expert, but it seems like a really bad idea to have a machine that can do that.

I've never seen one that doesn't have a big warning on it not to lock your knees.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 20:37

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

You know you actually CAN leave your basement if you're afraid of being swatted. There's this thing called 'going out in public'. Many people do it. You can go to a movie, have dinner in a restaurant, sit in a park. The possibilities are endless!

# ? Jan 22, 2018 20:40

dumb.: Apr 11, 2014; -=💀=-

Picnic Princess posted:

You know you actually CAN leave your basement if you're afraid of being swatted. There's this thing called 'going out in public'. Many people do it. You can go to a movie, have dinner in a restaurant, sit in a park. The possibilities are endless!

But that means I'd have to stay out in public forever. The minute I go back home BAM swatted.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 20:49

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Picnic Princess posted:

You know you actually CAN leave your basement if you're afraid of being swatted. There's this thing called 'going out in public'. Many people do it. You can go to a movie, have dinner in a restaurant, sit in a park. The possibilities are endless!

Unless you're not white, then just hope for the best.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 20:50

ExecuDork: Feb 25, 2007; We might be fucked, sir.; Fallen Rib

Antioch posted:

The cafe was closed within a month. CP guy got thrown in jail for a few years.

You got out at the right time. If the loss of one computer to the police and the loss of one employee was enough to kill the business, it had been circling the drain for a while already. If he hadn't fired you, you would not have been payed for your last week (or more) of work in any case.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:05

Perestroika: Apr 8, 2010

Not Operator posted:

I've never seen one that doesn't have a big warning on it not to lock your knees.

Still, something like an adjustable bar that physically blocks your knees from overextending seems like it wouldn't go amiss. Like the OSHA thread proves time and time again, never trust in your users to do it right, always put physical locks or obstacles everywhere you can.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:05

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Tarantula posted:

Everyone loves a good car crash, but the ocean has such fails to show you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J6TTeL-wNs

What the gently caress is that Batmobile looking boat at 1:07?

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:08

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

What the gently caress is that Batmobile looking boat at 1:07?

It was an experimental vessel that was later bought by the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. It sank after that collision.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MY_Ady_Gil

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:13

Somfin: Oct 25, 2010; In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.; Nap Ghost

Sunswipe posted:

I'm not a fitness or engineering expert, but it seems like a really bad idea to have a machine that can do that.

If a gym machine can't seriously injure you it's probably not worth your time.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:20

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

It was an experimental vessel that was later bought by the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. It sank after that collision.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MY_Ady_Gil

And Sea Shepherd was ruled in arbitration to have intentionally scuttled the ship after the crash to drum up PR by blaming the Japanese for its destruction.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:20

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

What the gently caress is that Batmobile looking boat at 1:07?

Before I even watched the video I knew exactly what clip you were talking about.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MY_Ady_Gil

A boat built to break the record for circumnavigating the globe in a powerboat. It was donated or sold to anti-whaling group Sea Shepherd.

Wikipedia posted:

In late 2009, it was announced that the boat, now repainted black and named Ady Gil, would be participating in anti-whaling operations under the lead of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. During operations in the Southern Ocean, the vessel and the Japanese whaling support vessel MV Shōnan Maru 2 collided on 6 January 2010, resulting in loss of the Ady Gil's bow and injuring one crew member.[6][7][8] Each side blamed the other for causing the collision, and government agencies began an investigation into the incident.[9] The crew of the Ady Gil were removed from the damaged vessel[10][11] and the salvage operation was abandoned, with the vessel sinking the next day.[12]

There's footage of the collision from multiple angles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMEXPTHNCGw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11wraVvzeRY

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:21

Atmus: Mar 8, 2002

After which, they got a new one. Neither batboat was meant for antarctic conditions, by the way.

Also the 'captain' of the batboat that sank snuck onto the whaling ship to 'arrest' the Japanese captain. That went about as well as you may expect.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:23

Saint Freak: Apr 16, 2007; Regretting is an insult to oneself; Buglord

Picnic Princess posted:

You know you actually CAN leave your basement if you're afraid of being swatted. There's this thing called 'going out in public'. Many people do it. You can go to a movie, have dinner in a restaurant, sit in a park. The possibilities are endless!

Then the cops shoot up an entire park instead of just my house. Cool. Maybe I live though and get a sick shirt with a skull on it or something.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:27

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

If people are really curious about the other leg press videos then here's a youtube compilation of the worst ones

If you don't want to watch it but want a description: his knee bends 90 degrees the wrong way. It looks like he feet were locked in place so he probably broke his ankle as well.

Yeah, no. With my knees, I got to the second clip and HAD to quit. Some days my loving knees try to do that when I am just walking.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:28

Lurking Haro: Oct 27, 2009

Samizdata posted:

Yeah, no. With my knees, I got to the second clip and HAD to quit. Some days my loving knees try to do that when I am just walking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypsTq_m9Dc8&t=17s

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:40

Dizz: Feb 14, 2010; L L

Somfin posted:

If a gym machine can't seriously injure you it's probably not worth your time.

you have to overcome the robot overlord babies or youll perish in the first wave

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:43

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

If people are really curious about the other leg press videos then here's a youtube compilation of the worst ones

If you don't want to watch it but want a description: his knee bends 90 degrees the wrong way. It looks like he feet were locked in place so he probably broke his ankle as well.

This has the most chipper and up beat music.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:51

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Lurking Haro posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypsTq_m9Dc8&t=17s

Yeah, but usually on stairs (which is why I always use elevators or walk down stairs sideways).

# ? Jan 22, 2018 21:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Samizdata posted:

Yeah, no. With my knees, I got to the second clip and HAD to quit. Some days my loving knees try to do that when I am just walking.

Hey hypermobile pal. I'm the same and I am 100% not clicking on that. Thanks for the heads up.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 22:04

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Picnic Princess posted:

Hey hypermobile pal. I'm the same and I am 100% not clicking on that. Thanks for the heads up.

No worries. Hypermobility Pals FTW. (A painful win.)

On the plus side, never broken a bone (despite being in several situations I should have, so there's that).

# ? Jan 22, 2018 22:07

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I've been in many, many situations and same. Just chipping and hairline fractures. One chip came out once 8 months after the injury. It was partially dissolved and had the consistency of plaster of Paris.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 22:30

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Poor genes itt.

# ? Jan 22, 2018 22:37

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# ? May 15, 2024 06:20

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Jan 23, 2018 00:10

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