Schadenfreude Thread: What did they think would happen?

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Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

DandyLion posted:

The inevitable inclined plane uprising doesn't have the same ring to it though.

Said uprising has been ongoing for decades, as anybody that has witnessed people inexplicably tripping/falling can tell you.

It's a very low-key insurrection.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Welcome to banking. Throw a hundred thousand bucks into an account and you'll never have to worry about any fees ever again, but have $100 in there and you can kiss 10% of it goodbye each month. I can tell you right now that most high income people may not like that BoA is doing this, but precious few of them will change their bank over it since it's a pain in the rear end.

BoA is going to come out of this just fine and no one will even remember it in a few weeks.

edit:
I'm a banker, so know first hand how lovely a bank can be to people. The thing is that most people's morals stop at their own money.

What kills me is the thought "Where have these people complaining about these fees been? Literally every bank everywhere has been doing this since Direct Deposit began as a thing.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 15:31

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# ? May 13, 2024 23:30

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

biracial bear for uncut posted:

What kills me is the thought "Where have these people complaining about these fees been? Literally every bank everywhere has been doing this since Direct Deposit began as a thing.

My HSA account (which never has much in it to begin with) gets like 25$ removed as an 'administrative fee' every month. It honestly depreciates faster that way than when I need the healthcare funds, so I'm forced to spend it as fast as I can on inane OTC meds and stuff that is rather superfluous rather than saving it...

# ? Jan 23, 2018 15:33

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/Mu7T8K9.mp4

Shameful wife carrying form. This is the superior way according to the top competitors of the North American Wife Carrying Championships:

# ? Jan 23, 2018 15:34

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Solice Kirsk posted:

Shameful wife carrying form. This is the superior way according to the top competitors of the North American Wife Carrying Championships:

Do polygamists have to carry all their wives or are they permitted to choose the lightest one?

# ? Jan 23, 2018 15:48

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Inescapable Duck posted:

What exactly they plan to accomplish here is the question. It's not like only poor people are necessarily going to start getting paranoid about a bank that clearly has no compunctions about robbing customers it doesn't like.

They want to cut back on serving accounts for poor people. Apparently it's costly to maintain many accounts with small amounts of money. BoA stock prices have gone up because of these moves and their shareholders are happy. Working as intended.

Anyone that just leaves like $50,000+ in a BoA savings is a fool anyway. Park it anywhere else. Online banks like Marcus, Ally, and Capital One offer 1.5% savings accounts.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 15:53

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Gorilla Salad posted:

* as used by a grand total of three countries in the world. The backwards hellholes of Liberia and Myanmar. And the US.

This is false. More countries than that use English units and are not fully metricated. If you drive in England, your car's speedometer is marked in miles per hour, and road signs give distances in miles, even though the gas ("petrol") pump dispenses liters. People will still tell you how much they weigh in stones, you buy beer by the pint. Paper sizes in Canada are inch-based, Canadian football fields are measured in yards, food prices are frequently advertised in pounds, grain sales are by the bushel, etc.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 16:02

Saint Freak: Apr 16, 2007; Regretting is an insult to oneself; Buglord

English people I think just use which ever system sounds more impressive when they complain about it. So like being too hot out would be Fahrenheit cause it sounds even higher.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 16:36

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

Britain didn't even have metric money until the 70s

# ? Jan 23, 2018 16:47

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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BoA (Bank of America) is a fantastic Bank as long as you always have at least several million dollars in your account like I do.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 16:48

Azhais: Feb 5, 2007; Switchblade Switcharoo

oldpainless posted:

BoA (Bank of America) is a fantastic Bank as long as you always have at least several million dollars in your account like I do.

Arguable

# ? Jan 23, 2018 16:52

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

oldpainless posted:

BoA (Bank of America) is a fantastic Bank as long as you always have at least several million dollars in your account like I do.

soon to be oldheadless

# ? Jan 23, 2018 16:58

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

https://i.imgur.com/1sugkay.gifv

I like to imagine this guy is still tumbling down that misty mountain to this day.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:01

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/ZsgsSnY.gifv

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:08

ExecuDork: Feb 25, 2007; We might be fucked, sir.; Fallen Rib

Phanatic posted:

This is false. More countries than that use English units and are not fully metricated. If you drive in England, your car's speedometer is marked in miles per hour, and road signs give distances in miles, even though the gas ("petrol") pump dispenses liters. People will still tell you how much they weigh in stones, you buy beer by the pint. Paper sizes in Canada are inch-based, Canadian football fields are measured in yards, food prices are frequently advertised in pounds, grain sales are by the bushel, etc.

The gradual loss of fluency in the old system, one piece at a time, is not an argument in favour of its continued use. In Canada, more everyday kinds of measurements are becoming more metric with every death of an old person.

Code switching applies to measurements as well. If you're talking to somebody over the age of 70, you'll talk about inches and pounds and gallons. Then that person's 20-year-old grandchild walks into the room, and you're back to centimetres and kilos and litres. Nobody uses Farhenheit here that I ever talk to, that died out (literally) about a decade ago.

A pint in Canada is an informal, variable thing. It's just the name for the most-common size of glass of beer (beer only, nothing else is served as a pint) in whatever bar or restaurant you happen to be sitting. And nobody, even farmers, knows how big a bushel is. That's just a way of talking about farm trucks (bigger is better), or for complaining about how city folk are dumb and don't know anything about how hard it is to run a family farm.

Large chunks of our culture is imported directly from the United States, which is why our paper is still the idiotic 8.5 x 11 format, except when it's "legal size" or some other weirdness.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:15

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

ExecuDork posted:

The gradual loss of fluency in the old system, one piece at a time, is not an argument in favour of its continued use.

I wasn't making an argument in favor of its continued use. I was pointing out that the claim that only those few countries use Imperial measurements is wrong.

An argument in favor of continued use is that some measurements are more convenient than others in certain contexts.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:22

wayfinder: Jul 7, 2003

Phanatic posted:

I wasn't making an argument in favor of its continued use. I was pointing out that the claim that only those few countries use Imperial measurements is wrong.

An argument in favor of continued use is that some measurements are more convenient than others in certain contexts.

Which they only are if you pretend that there's no rounding in metric.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:35

Rat Patrol: Feb 15, 2008; kill kill kill kill
kill me now

I caught a squirrel stealing from the suet feeder in my back yard, so I put out a new suet block laced with hot peppers. Checked back a little while later and found him miserably rubbing his face all over my porch, trying to rub the burn out of his mouth:

Little thief hasn't been back since.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:37

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Huntersoninski posted:

I caught a squirrel stealing from the suet feeder in my back yard, so I put out a new suet block laced with hot peppers. Checked back a little while later and found him miserably rubbing his face all over my porch, trying to rub the burn out of his mouth:

Little thief hasn't been back since.

I like how spicy poo poo is a defense mechanism to make sure mammals don't eat your poo poo because you want birds or who ever spreading your seeds instead. But humans decided this horrible burning is actually very good and now we farm vast amounts of stuff loaded with anti-mammal mouth-burning poison because it's real good.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:45

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

ExecuDork posted:

The gradual loss of fluency in the old system, one piece at a time, is not an argument in favour of its continued use. In Canada, more everyday kinds of measurements are becoming more metric with every death of an old person.

Code switching applies to measurements as well. If you're talking to somebody over the age of 70, you'll talk about inches and pounds and gallons. Then that person's 20-year-old grandchild walks into the room, and you're back to centimetres and kilos and litres. Nobody uses Farhenheit here that I ever talk to, that died out (literally) about a decade ago.

A pint in Canada is an informal, variable thing. It's just the name for the most-common size of glass of beer (beer only, nothing else is served as a pint) in whatever bar or restaurant you happen to be sitting. And nobody, even farmers, knows how big a bushel is. That's just a way of talking about farm trucks (bigger is better), or for complaining about how city folk are dumb and don't know anything about how hard it is to run a family farm.

Large chunks of our culture is imported directly from the United States, which is why our paper is still the idiotic 8.5 x 11 format, except when it's "legal size" or some other weirdness.

What�s wrong with 8.5x11? It�s the golden ratio.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:47

Hihohe: Oct 4, 2008; Fuck you and the sun you live under

Baronjutter posted:

I like how spicy poo poo is a defense mechanism to make sure mammals don't eat your poo poo because you want birds or who ever spreading your seeds instead. But humans decided this horrible burning is actually very good and now we farm vast amounts of stuff loaded with anti-mammal mouth-burning poison because it's real good.

We played right into the peppers plan to spread seeds all over the world. We were so sick if bland food, food meant to be unpleasant was stimulating.

I wonder if there are other symbiotic relations like that brought on by European colonialism.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 17:53

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

Phanatic posted:

I wasn't making an argument in favor of its continued use. I was pointing out that the claim that only those few countries use Imperial measurements is wrong.

An argument in favor of continued use is that some measurements are more convenient than others in certain contexts.

thank you for yet another WELL AKSHULLLY on another completely boring subject that nobody gives a poo poo about

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:03

ExecuDork: Feb 25, 2007; We might be fucked, sir.; Fallen Rib

Hihohe posted:

We played right into the peppers plan to spread seeds all over the world. We were so sick if bland food, food meant to be unpleasant was stimulating.

I wonder if there are other symbiotic relations like that brought on by European colonialism.

Wheat now grows on every continent except Antarctica (and its seeds are there, as well as in a deep vault in the High Arctic). Rice too, and a long list of other plant species. Potatoes are a good example of something that was domesticated in the Americas but now grows everywhere. drat those crafty spuds!

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:03

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Baronjutter posted:

I like how spicy poo poo is a defense mechanism to make sure mammals don't eat your poo poo because you want birds or who ever spreading your seeds instead. But humans decided this horrible burning is actually very good and now we farm vast amounts of stuff loaded with anti-mammal mouth-burning poison because it's real good.

It's still super effective against white people.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:10

frodnonnag: Aug 13, 2007

Horse Inspector posted:

I've seen this vid a couple of times now and I think it might the most morbidly grim footage I've ever witnessed. More so than car crashes and other horrible entanglements of soft, mutable flesh, and solid foreign materials. Something about it makes my soul feel a little colder, like I've been handed a chilled beer glass on a hot summers day, but the beer glass is lodged in my chest cavity.

It's the way they keep going in.
It's the way it seems so inevitable.
It's the way there's no escape when caught.
It's the way it's neither quick nor slow, with out ever changing speed.

But really it's all those things added up to a whole greater than the sum of the parts. It's the fact that the corn is basically a giant hour glass. What we are seeing here is time. Relentlessly, mercilessly sucking in souls without ever stopping or even slowing. We are those birds, just following each other in to a big corn grinder.

Its not lethal to the birds at all according to a couple random 'sources' online. The birds tend to pop out the bottom of the funnel and fly back up top to eat more.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:17

dumb.: Apr 11, 2014; -=💀=-

https://i.imgur.com/HZkkCkR.gifv

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:44

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Fat face = slap defense

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:46

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004; Grimey Drawer

dumb. posted:

https://i.imgur.com/HZkkCkR.gifv

Dude lost his shoe. He dead.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:47

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

It looks like fat dude got hit on the cheek. While skinny dude got a cross-chop to the jugular.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:54

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Kurieg posted:

It looks like fat dude got hit on the cheek. While skinny dude got a cross-chop to the jugular.

Yeah, that's like CTRL-ALT-DEL for the brain.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 18:54

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh0JlR4-beY

# ? Jan 23, 2018 19:02

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

VanSandman posted:

What’s wrong with 8.5x11? It’s the golden ratio.

No it isn't.

An 11x17 tabloid page, though, made by placing two letter-size pages side by side, is pretty close.

Also, Canadian paper is not 8.5"x11". It's infinitesimally shorter and wider, because the Canadian standard is an 8.5x11 page but rounded to the nearest millimeter :shepface:

# ? Jan 23, 2018 20:26

Fantastic Flyer: Aug 9, 2017

dumb. posted:

https://i.imgur.com/HZkkCkR.gifv

Excellent camera work, very steady and had the sense to capture the others' reactions.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 20:46

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Sagebrush posted:

No it isn't.

An 11x17 tabloid page, though, made by placing two letter-size pages side by side, is pretty close.

Also, Canadian paper is not 8.5"x11". It's infinitesimally shorter and wider, because the Canadian standard is an 8.5x11 page but rounded to the nearest millimeter

Well, yeah, I mean, we're not loving savages. :colbert:

# ? Jan 23, 2018 20:46

Field Mousepad: Mar 21, 2010; BAE

Fantastic Flyer posted:

Excellent camera work, very steady and had the sense to capture the others' reactions.

Yeah considering how shithoused everyone usually is in a video like that the cameraman did really well.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 20:57

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Gorilla Salad posted:

EDIT: Also, no sane person actually uses decimetres and hectametres. I mean, what's the loving point?

Basically no-one uses them but everyone still knows what a decimetre is in case some nutjob decides to use it. I bet a lot of people would understand hectometres as well (because hectolitres are pretty commonly used).

# ? Jan 23, 2018 21:00

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

dumb. posted:

https://i.imgur.com/HZkkCkR.gifv

Pssshhh, clearly fake. I've done this trick before to get my layabout friends to put my shoes on and tie them for me.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 21:01

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

Dude lost his shoe. He dead.

Just the one, and only half-off. There's a small chance he lived.

# ? Jan 23, 2018 21:02

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

dumb. posted:

https://i.imgur.com/HZkkCkR.gifv

lol

# ? Jan 23, 2018 21:05

DryGoods: Apr 26, 2014; Dogs, on the other hand, can connect with that pathos.

https://i.imgur.com/QIeSuQ5.gifv

# ? Jan 23, 2018 21:12

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# ? May 13, 2024 23:30

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Gorilla Salad posted:

A perfectly logical measuring system*:

* as used by a grand total of three countries in the world. The backwards hellholes of Liberia and Myanmar. And the US.

EDIT: Also, no sane person actually uses decimetres and hectametres. I mean, what's the loving point?

The worst units are the ones that share names.

Is a �ton� a short, long, or metric ton? Why are metric tons not called �megagrams�?

# ? Jan 23, 2018 21:22

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