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i really hope what sparked that was something like her asking who the best sex he ever had was with, don't worry I won't get mad if you don't say me
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Jan 24, 2018 21:49
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Yeah that dude is a victim of sexual assault, not a pervert or monster. Here's rationalized it in his mind, but he's a victim nonetheless.
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Jan 24, 2018 21:51
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Yeah that dude is a victim of sexual assault, not a pervert or monster. Here's rationalized it in his mind, but he's a victim nonetheless. gently caress, I didn't even think of it that way at first. It's hosed up on the sex with your son level, sex with a minor level, and probably two or three more and I don't wanna think about this any more.
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Jan 24, 2018 21:59
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Why can't he just talk to Kate / Amanda at some later point and figure out what, if anything, she wants to do about it? Like maybe they could discuss it like adults? Just spitballing here, that seems like an option besides "TELL THE PRINCIPAL BEFORE YOU GET IN TROUBLE" maybe he should discuss it like adults with his girlfriend, because she obviously has a right to know. It's her call if she wants to end things over it or not, but staying in a relationship with her while intentionally withholding something like that is not okay.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:10
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Yeah, the mother is definitely at fault here, but it sounds like this guy has rationalized it away and doesn’t think her behavior was harmful. On the other hand, I would be pretty freaked out if my husband nonchalantly brought up during truth-or-dare that he and his mom used to gently caress when he was a teenager and they still send each other suggestive texts.  I don’t what the hell I would do in that situation, especially if I had previously gotten along with the mother. At least there’s no kids involved...
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Jan 24, 2018 22:19
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ArbitraryC posted:maybe he should discuss it like adults with his girlfriend, because she obviously has a right to know. It's her call if she wants to end things over it or not, but staying in a relationship with her while intentionally withholding something like that is not okay. I believe the sister has a greater right to manage the release of this information than he does, given that the sister is a member of the family and he is simply dating a family member. To me it's selfishness masquerading as virtue to say "I know what's best for everyone, the sister, the SO, and so I'm going to do it exactly how I think it's best - and if it blows up, I'll just say I was being Honest, the best policy" If he was adult enough to have hookups with strangers then it seems adult to try to manage that former hookup in a mature way, instead of doing this bizarre virtue / purging ritual in which you throw a grenade into the relationship, throw a grenade into a family's relationship, and declare yourself absolved of secrecy / the better person in the process The sister he slept with is asking him not to disclose what happened, I find it odd how people reframe that into "It's your DUTY to disclose" and obviously I get that they see it differently than I do
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Jan 24, 2018 22:22
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never emotionally cheated but still sexts his mom
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Jan 24, 2018 22:23
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Cat Army
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Palpek posted:Another day, another open relationship story lol as someone with BPD an open relationship would be my biggest nightmare, it would just fuel the fears and doubts you have. that's a really loving dumb thing to do if you're mentally ill imo like imagine the jealousy you've seen from people talking about their semi-willing open relationships in this thread and multiply it many times over, plus impulsiveness and anger
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Jan 24, 2018 22:24
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Ham Sandwiches posted:I believe the sister has a greater right to manage the release of this information than he does, given that the sister is a member of the family and he is simply dating a family member. his gf has the right to know he slept with her sister, if the sister won't tell her, he does have the duty to disclose it because she deserves to know. I dunno about you but I'd feel incredibly violated if someone hid that kind of thing from me and continued to maintain a relationship. I would never date or hookup with someone who had been involved with one of my other family members, that's just gross. In this case she may be able to move past it because it's so odd of a situation, but she has a right to make that decision with all relevant information.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:30
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Ham Sandwiches posted:
I mean, its not his duty to disclose but If I were him I would be giving more consideration to the feelings of my current serious partner than a former fling from a long time ago.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:31
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I think the important thing to note here is that Ham Sandwiches, Bitcoin Enthusiast, doesn't believe people have the right to an informed decision about their lives, and will lie to preserve his own comfort and way of life. Ham Sandwiches - Quality human being
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Jan 24, 2018 22:32
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Avenging_Mikon posted:I think the important thing to note here is that Ham Sandwiches, Bitcoin Enthusiast, doesn't believe people have the right to an informed decision about their lives, and will lie to preserve his own comfort and way of life. Hmm yeah dude this is great stuff, when we start talking about how people are pieces of poo poo for chiming in on reddit stories with their take, it absolutely improves the discourse of the thread for commenting on reddit stories
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Jan 24, 2018 22:35
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Hmm yeah dude this is great stuff, when we start talking about how people are pieces of poo poo for chiming in on reddit stories with their take, it absolutely improves the discourse of the thread for commenting on reddit stories Keep lying to make yourself comfortable.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:37
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ArbitraryC posted:his gf has the right to know he slept with her sister, if the sister won't tell her, he does have the duty to disclose it because she deserves to know. I dunno about you but I'd feel incredibly violated if someone hid that kind of thing from me and continued to maintain a relationship. I would never date or hookup with someone who had been involved with one of my other family members, that's just gross. Yes and if the OP's SO feels the same way, then he is going to 100% torch the relationship, and probably going to cause issues with the sister, and I don't think it should be done super lightly. Amanda seems like they should potentially have a say, especially since they remain a part of the family and have to deal with the fallout even if the SO breaks up with the OP. Like, what exactly changed? He dated this lady for 2 years, and someone out of the blue came up to him and said "oh yeah, this happened, but let's not make a big deal about it." There's a lot of ways to react, I really don't see this sort of straightforward "Ok, begin confession protocol, it is my duty" routine that you do as the obvious answer.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:38
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Keep lying to make yourself comfortable. Do you really want me to start calling you a self described fat nerd whenever you comment? Because I don't think that would improve things, but I can if you would like
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Jan 24, 2018 22:39
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I'm somewhat new to this thread, is slap fighting a norm here?
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Jan 24, 2018 22:40
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Over There posted:I'm somewhat new to this thread, is slap fighting a norm here? yes
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Jan 24, 2018 22:42
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Over There posted:I'm somewhat new to this thread, is slap fighting a norm here? You don't get it someone was wrong on the internet.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:42
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Over There posted:I'm somewhat new to this thread, is slap fighting a norm here? yes
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Jan 24, 2018 22:42
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Yeah, tell the girlfriend, or live a life of deceit which is good and healthy for long term relationships
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Jan 24, 2018 22:45
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Over There posted:I'm somewhat new to this thread, is slap fighting a norm here? Your reg date is approaching five years, come on man (or woman)!
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Jan 24, 2018 22:45
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Skutter posted:Your reg date is approaching five years, come on man (or woman)! Sorry I tend to stay away from threads that move super quickly! I'm working on it!
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Jan 24, 2018 22:46
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Yes and if the OP's SO feels the same way, then he is going to 100% torch the relationship, and probably going to cause issues with the sister, and I don't think it should be done super lightly. Amanda seems like they should potentially have a say, especially since they remain a part of the family and have to deal with the fallout even if the SO breaks up with the OP. "It might be inconvenient to tell the truth, so I should just live a lie instead". Like what the hell is wrong with you, the gf has a right to know and even if it means blowing up the relationship that's her business and her call to make. It'd be a lovely thing to do to hide it now that he's aware of the situation. If she'd be uncomfortable staying involved with him and continuing to have sex with him knowing he banged her sister, then willfully omitting that is trying to dodge around her informed consent, it's a violation of her boundaries. Amanda doesn't get a say here because the gf's needs take priority here, if amanda was leading some sort of weird double life and this is the thread that unravels the whole tapestry of lies then that's her problem.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:47
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Hello here is my unironic advice to the guy in the Amanda / Katie story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERm_WNxGs1U
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Jan 24, 2018 22:48
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ArbitraryC posted:"It might be inconvenient to tell the truth, so I should just live a lie instead". Like what the hell is wrong with you, the gf has a right to know and even if it means blowing up the relationship that's her business and her call to make. I think he should speak with Amanda and explain that he feels strongly that they need to say something to the SO, and that he's ok with giving her some time to figure out how to explain it in a way of her choosing. I would ask why she doesn't want to explain and when she thinks she might feel up to saying it. Based on how Amanda responds I'd figure out what to do next. I think that's fair given that Amanda is part of the family and that the way this plays out could have lots of repercussions for her.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:50
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Ham Sandwiches posted:I think he should speak with Amanda and explain that he feels strongly that they need to say something to the SO, and that he's ok with giving her some time to figure out how to explain it in a way of her choosing. I would ask why she doesn't want to explain and when she thinks she might feel up to saying it. Based on how Amanda responds I'd figure out what to do next. I think that's fair given that Amanda is part of the family and that the way this plays out could have lots of repercussions for her. It's called having integrity.
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Jan 24, 2018 22:58
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Hammy, if we start going on a few page derail about cooking or gluten or proper bathroom etiquette or something, will you shut the gently caress up for a few pages?
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Jan 24, 2018 23:07
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LadyPictureShow posted:Hammy, if we start going on a few page derail about cooking or gluten or proper bathroom etiquette or something, will you shut the gently caress up for a few pages? I'm not sure I understand, there's plenty of stories like allergy chat that goes on for pages and I skim past because it doesn't interest me, can you not do the same for topics that you don't like?
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Jan 24, 2018 23:12
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Over There posted:I don't think that is how Borderline Personality Disorder works... The Kermit stuff was dumb, obviously, but irrational fear of abandonment is one of the symptoms of Borderline. It's a bit like bipolar disorder, but instead of swinging from depression to mania, it swings from I LOVE YOU AND I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY to crazy paranoia and poo poo like cutting people off "before they can hurt you." Over There posted:I'm somewhat new to this thread, is slap fighting a norm here? yes, send help
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Jan 24, 2018 23:25
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Avenging_Mikon posted:I think the important thing to note here is that Ham Sandwiches, Bitcoin Enthusiast, doesn't believe people have the right to an informed decision about their lives, and will lie to preserve his own comfort and way of life. it's really bad when the thread decides to discuss pick or whatever and it's not any better when it's another poster
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Jan 24, 2018 23:34
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Have some  .There is a trans girl [17 F] in my [17 M] school that I can't get out of my mind. I have a massive crush on her but I'm also afraid of social suicide if I ask her out. quote:Ladies and Gentlemen of Reddit, I can't even begin to explain how absolutely and painfully beautiful this girl is. She totally makes me feel lovesick. If I were a cartoon my eyes would turn to hearts and leap from their sockets whenever I see her. She makes me feel weak in the knees... the butterflies in my belly are aggressive and many... I could write poetry about this woman.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:42
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Go get her and gently caress anyone who thinks poorly of you for it.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:44
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at the very least i hope he can continue to be a good friend to her considering how lovely the rest of their community seems to be
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Jan 24, 2018 23:44
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It is 100% social suicide and he should 100% still do it.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:46
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If he's not able to reach that conclusion alone, he's not gonna be able to stick with it and he's gonna end up hurting her worse.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:48
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i like nice words
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Haifisch posted:Have some "I could write poetry about this woman" "We did each others portraits and it was MAGICAL. It was like a Jack and Rose moment, except nobody was naked and neither of us died. " Glad to hear about the romance kid but maybe leave poetry on the bench for now.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:49
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Anne Whateley posted:If he's not able to reach that conclusion alone, he's not gonna be able to stick with it and he's gonna end up hurting her worse.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:49
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Do people still watch titanic? That film is 4 years older than this boy.
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Jan 24, 2018 23:52
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homeboy already understands any friend who'd poo poo on his girlfriend isn't a friend worth keeping, i think he'll be fine
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Jan 24, 2018 23:52
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Haifisch posted:Have some I keep having this internal dialogue where it's like "well just come out as gay and say gently caress the consequences" but he's attracted to her as a female. I guess whatever wedding tackle you have don't matter. It's all love anyway. Nobody is gonna give a poo poo when they graduate anyway. It's 2018. Your real friends will stick with you.
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