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If you buy the ebook it's apparently just the lovely pirated PDF, lol
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Jan 26, 2018 22:12
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There are OCR corrected versions in epub and mobi available on official-looking sites. I know it's  now but just today I was like "I want that ebook" and it was available and emailed to my kindle just fine and it's good quality. I would definitely not PAY for a lovely pirated PDF.
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Jan 26, 2018 22:26
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Cichlidae posted:I don't see why not, pee is more or less incompressible so it's not like the ocean's going to shoot up into your bladder. Sagebrush posted:^^^^ ignore this liar he's trying to kill you I honestly can't tell who's telling the truth. I mean besides the ocean going in the bladder. Everyone knows pee is stored in the balls.
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Jan 26, 2018 22:52
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Well the article from earlier mentioned a catheter set up so I'm guessing in a dry suit it's the latter. No idea if the pressure would equalize in a wetsuit.
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Jan 26, 2018 22:56
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Everything in your body is at the same pressure as the surrounding ocean anyway.
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Jan 26, 2018 22:57
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Arglebargle III posted:Everything in your body is at the same pressure as the surrounding ocean anyway. Except for the gas spaces - sinuses, ears, lungs, intestinal gas, and the like. Your sinuses will fill and empty themselves pretty well via your nose, your ears may need a bit more convincing, along with your diving mask. Your lungs are the most delicate cavity and it's remarkably easy to damage them if you try to breathe the same way you do on the surface. I will admit I'm not a regular diver, but I don't see why you wouldn't be able to pee. If you can pee in a pool, the pressure differential there should be about the same. If you can't pee in the pool, there's something wrong with you. I've even heard that peeing in your wetsuit is an excellent way to keep warm, though that might've just been someone trying to prank me.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:06
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Peeing in a wetsuit is so common that the running joke is “there’s divers that pee in their wetsuit, and those that lie about it”.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:32
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I mean I've definitely peed in my wetsuit at something like 40 feet, I just don't know about extreme deep diving.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:33
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vOv posted:I mean I've definitely peed in my wetsuit at something like 40 feet, I just don't know about extreme deep diving. I guarantee this guy had to. http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/news/2014/9/ahmed-gabr-breaks-record-for-deepest-scuba-dive-at-more-than-1000-feet-60537 Looks like he was in a drysuit, but that’s nothing a condom-catheter and pee-valve can’t get around.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:41
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My most fun was barfing at 90 feet. I'd had rice and orange soda for lunch. The fish seemed to appreciate that.
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Jan 27, 2018 03:33
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MrUnderbridge posted:My most fun was barfing at 90 feet. I'd had rice and orange soda for lunch. The fish seemed to appreciate that. that sounds horrifying, taking the mouthpiece out and hurling and having to shove it back in and gasp for breath and then hurl again and back and forth  anyway someone get trig discipline in here with his story about having diarrhea while diving e: i found this surprisingly thorough guide to throwing up underwater Sagebrush has a new favorite as of 04:38 on Jan 27, 2018 |
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Jan 27, 2018 04:36
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Sagebrush posted:that sounds horrifying, taking the mouthpiece out and hurling and having to shove it back in and gasp for breath and then hurl again and back and forth Don't even take it out. You can throw up through the reg  There's a single detail that everyone forgets the first time, though: put your tongue on the roof of your mouth before purging the reg, because anything that's in the reg has a chance of getting blown back into your mouth rather than being purged out of the exhaust vents. I was seasick before getting in the water one day and it hit me hard at around 40ft, where I threw up in my reg then through my nose into my mask. I blacked out and came to holding the tagline of the boat (back at the surface). You do make friends with all the little fish, though 
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Jan 27, 2018 04:49
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Jesus Christ. We never went over barfing when I took diving classes. 
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Jan 27, 2018 05:27
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Icon Of Sin posted:Don't even take it out. You can throw up through the reg This right here is why SA is the best money I've ever spent.
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Jan 27, 2018 06:22
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Are the vent ports on a reg large enough to admit, uh, chunks?
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Jan 27, 2018 06:53
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Phy posted:Are the vent ports on a reg large enough to admit, uh, chunks? The Complete Guide to Throwing Up Underwater posted:Smooth vomit will likely result from an empty stomach, ingesting foods with a soft or liquid consistency, or allowing oneself ample time to digest the food before diving. Smooth vomit is much more of a delight to encounter underwater as it will easily flow through the regulator and out the exhaust valve. Although it may coat the inside of your regulator, it is unlikely that any clogging or change in performance will result.
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Jan 27, 2018 07:50
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Sagebrush posted:anyway someone get trig discipline in here with his story about having diarrhea while diving I was doing some underwater fish collection work with some colleagues, including my wife. We were at a spot in Curacao with a really long surface swim, and had just finally made it out to the reef crest when my stomach basically turned over and said "Hey you're about to poo poo, explosively. We are not negotiating about whether that's going to happen, or when. At this point the only choice you can make is where." This was at a beach with no facilities, so my options were (1) poo poo in my wetsuit, (2) poo poo underwater but NOT in my wetsuit, (3) surface, peel my gear off, and just float at the surface above my colleagues shooting diarrhea everywhere, or (4) try to make it to shore, poo poo on the beach where other people were having a nice day in the sun, wash my rear end in the water, and then get back in. Obviously none of those are great options. Option number two (lol) was clearly the one with the least casualties, but also the highest level of difficulty. We were only in about seven meters of water, though, and I do appreciate a good challenge, so I decided to go for it and swam away from my colleagues. The first issue was that my wife is a good dive buddy, so she wasn't going to let me get far enough away to have some privacy unless I explained the situation to her. I started to take my BC off and she got concerned, and asked me what the problem was with hand gestures. I pantomimed a fountain coming from my rear end. Then I pointed to myself and the substrate where I was kneeling ("I'm staying here"), and then pointed to her and back to our colleagues ("You go back - you don't need to see this"). She got the idea and left. I peeled off my BC, which of course now meant that I was positively buoyant. So I had to try to peel off my wetsuit with one hand while holding onto my BC on the bottom with the other, with my reg in my mouth. I did manage to get my wetsuit either off or down to my ankles (I actually can't remember). Then I was faced with an issue of strategy: If I just sprayed poo poo where I was, it would get all over me, my suit, and my BC. Not good. So obviously what I needed was some way to poo poo while simultaneously moving away from the poo poo with all of my gear. I settled on sort of folding my BC closed and then crouching on the substrate like I was sitting in an invisible chair. With (if I do say so myself) perfect split-second timing, I leapt gently upwards and forwards right as I shat explosively, holding all of my gear in a tight bundle at my chest. I remember thinking as I did so how much I must look like the space shuttle taking off. Anyway, it worked perfectly and I managed to expel the evil without getting any of it on my clothes, in my regulator, or on my colleagues. I came back to the group and my wife gave me an inquisitive "okay" sign, which I returned with a nonzero amount of smugness. Of course my colleagues are also goony idiots, so they thought this was amazing when I told them what happened later after we had gotten out of the water. One in particular (who is literally also a goon) said "holy poo poo, you did the Warhammer Maneuver?" That was a term I'd never heard. Turns out there's some guy named Warhammer on the scuba boards who's famous for making GBS threads underwater. Warhammer: https://i.imgur.com/x7IuQvC.jpg  I think my solution was more hygienic and, given that there's another diver right above him, more considerate. Anyway, that's my story. e: Actually come to think of it, I must have just left my wetsuit around my ankles. I would've had to take my fins off otherwise, and I definitely didn't do that. I dive with a 3.5mm shorty in Curacao, so it's not that bulky. Trig Discipline has a new favorite as of 09:10 on Jan 27, 2018 |
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Jan 27, 2018 09:04
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Trig Discipline posted:I dive with a 3.5mm shorty in Curacao, so it's not that bulky. Surely the water isn't that cold there?
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Jan 27, 2018 10:15
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Marcade posted:Surely the water isn't that cold there? A 3.5mm shorty is a relatively warm water suit. We sometimes dive with just shorts and t-shirts but that tends to get a bit chilly, particularly when you go deep oh gently caress I just got it 
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Jan 27, 2018 14:44
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Trig Discipline posted:I pantomimed a fountain coming from my rear end. This is championship level charades right here.
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Jan 27, 2018 15:02
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Trig Discipline you're my hero
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Jan 27, 2018 15:20
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Trig Discipline posted:poo poo This is up there with Moby Dick and The Old Man And The Sea among marine themed classics.
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Jan 27, 2018 15:28
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Phy posted:Trig Discipline you're my hero not an empty quote
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Jan 27, 2018 15:50
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Funny, my instructor (PADI) had told us to take out our regulator to make sure nothing blocked it. I've got pretty good breath discipline, so I took it out, hurled, waved away the orange and white cloud, put the regulator back in and hit the purge button. I did get an OK check from my dive partner, so she was looking out for me. My experience with the other end of things was in the boat coming back on a different dive. I decided a quick dip, a quick paddle away, shorts off and cut loose was better than fouling the boat. This was in the Philippines, so the boat was a wooden outrigger. Not sure if any one believed me, I said I "just needed to cool off" and nobody ever brought it up again. Getting back to chemistry, I have a temporary blue tiger striped hand thanks to some squirting while setting up the blue bottle demo. Third day and it's still visible.
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Jan 27, 2018 18:01
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Data Graham posted:This is championship level charades right here. If you ever need to pantomime explosive diarrhea underwater, this worked for me: Make a fist, and hold it near your rear end, then move move your hand away from your rear end, rapidly spreading and wiggling your fingers. Repeat until the other person looks slightly alarmed but is also laughing.
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Jan 27, 2018 18:18
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Cichlidae posted:I will admit I'm not a regular diver, but I don't see why you wouldn't be able to pee. If you can pee in a pool, the pressure differential there should be about the same. If you can't pee in the pool, there's something wrong with you. I've even heard that peeing in your wetsuit is an excellent way to keep warm, though that might've just been someone trying to prank me. Long duration diving is not glamorous.
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Jan 28, 2018 01:26
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Icon Of Sin posted:Peeing in a wetsuit is so common that the running joke is “there’s divers that pee in their wetsuit, and those that lie about it”. I've just never felt the need to pee while diving. I mean, I've only got 40 or 50 dives under my belt in the many years since I got my licence, but with time in the water being less than an hour for most dives who can't hang on that long? It goes without saying that more technical long dives are a different story, but surely that's a very small proportion of dives?
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Jan 28, 2018 01:47
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Trig Discipline posted:AQUADUMP.txt You made the right move. I saw someone fill a two-piece freediving suit with poop once. Turns out it's a bad call.
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Jan 28, 2018 01:58
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Gromit posted:I've just never felt the need to pee while diving. I mean, I've only got 40 or 50 dives under my belt in the many years since I got my licence, but with time in the water being less than an hour for most dives who can't hang on that long? I've got coworkers at the dive shop (instructors and divemasters, both male and female) who say that as soon as they hit the water they're warming up the local area. Must be a reflex thing (cold diuresis, i think?). I drink more alcohol and caffeine than is sane or (likely) healthy, so I think it takes a bit more for me to feel it...then again, I've been in water down to ~48F without having to pee. I might not have noticed the feeling though, since I got tunnel vision fairly bad and could only think UP=WARMER at that point.
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Jan 28, 2018 02:03
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Trig Discipline posted:With (if I do say so myself) perfect split-second timing, I leapt gently upwards and forwards right as I shat explosively, holding all of my gear in a tight bundle at my chest. I remember thinking as I did so how much I must look like the space shuttle taking off. I think I actually injured myself laughing at this mental image.
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Jan 28, 2018 02:06
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Trig Discipline posted:[magic] I am in awe
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Jan 28, 2018 07:08
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you made goons.txt for that post btw
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Jan 28, 2018 07:37
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Trig Discipline posted:I was doing some underwater fish collection work with some colleagues, including my wife. There was a long-ago post on alt.tasteless from a guy who had gotten food poisoning and was voluminously voiding from both ends. Sitting on the toilet, making GBS threads explosively, then having to stand up and turn around so he could puke explosively, and at some point the frequency of each maneuver ended up going resonant and he made a big mess of everything. It's one of the best things I've ever read. Your post was right up there with that. And with the other alt.tasteless post about the guy's anal fissure, which he named Bob.
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Jan 28, 2018 08:13
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Thanks y'all, I'm glad everyone enjoyed it. It's funny because we train extensively as research divers to meet OSHA requirements and then do the most wussy-rear end diving imaginable, so we're constantly feeling like we're way overtrained for the actual work we do. We actually did a lot of bailout drills where they'd throw all of your gear into the water and you'd have to swim down to it in just your bathing suit and get geared up before you come back to the surface. At the time you're thinking "literally when in history has this skill been necessary", and then something like this comes up and it's like "YES I TRAINED FOR THIS". Gromit posted:I've just never felt the need to pee while diving. I mean, I've only got 40 or 50 dives under my belt in the many years since I got my licence, but with time in the water being less than an hour for most dives who can't hang on that long? If you're doing relatively short dives in relatively warm water you may not feel the need. If you start doing colder dives, though, you get a thing called cold diuresis (as mentioned above by Icon of Sin). If causes you to pee like crazy. Which is actually kinda nice because if you're cold enough to cause diuresis, pissing on yourself feels like getting a hug and a mug of cocoa from your grandma. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diuresis#Cold-induced_diuresis
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Jan 28, 2018 08:53
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PYF Dangerous Chemistry: Have you ever been so cold that pissing on yourself seemed like a comforting thought?
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Jan 28, 2018 10:46
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rndmnmbr posted:PYF Dangerous Chemistry: Have you ever been so cold that pissing on yourself seemed like a comforting thought? I've been cold enough to get frostbite, cold enough to be scared to fall asleep, and fallen through ice and subsequently been very cold. Didn't warm myself tho. Either living close to the polar circle destroys the urge to piss, or I've lived horribly wrong. And this thread is fantastic.
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Jan 28, 2018 13:41
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Wearing underwear of frozen piss doesn't sound like good fashion.
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Jan 28, 2018 13:46
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klMeNGLY2Zg
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Jan 28, 2018 17:33
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Phanatic posted:
Holy crap! Another migrant who remembers alt.tasteless! And Bob the Anal Fissure! 
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Jan 28, 2018 20:26
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Sagebrush posted:you made goons.txt for that post btw That's what brought me here
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Jan 28, 2018 21:25
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