Schadenfreude Thread: What did they think would happen?

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snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Two Feet From Bread posted:

No it doesn't. reread the article. never once does it say that 'she' has to be there before. Only that trespassers frequently go there and front porch/lawn is as frequent as you can get.
The statement was that you can't sue if a trespasser tresspasses, made by both the goon and the article. the article states otherwise right after saying that you can't sue.
will you win? who knows. if you make more than $50k a year and the case isn't thrown out, goons will probably side with the criminal stealing your medicine off the front porch because 'eat the rich' and any anyone living outside their parents basement is rich.

Trespassers sueing is a very real thing and unless your state has a law that specifically says they can't sue, expect to be sued. The issue with them filing a civil suit is that they basically admit to breaking the law. This girl can lie out her teeth and say she was at the wrong house and bla bla bla to get out of jail time or just wait until after the court case. It is much harder to do that after you bust in a door. That is why you typically see burglars suing only after they received major injuries. You can also trade a burglar's right to a civil suit for less punishment if you are truly scared.

However, assuming she doesn't lie, there is literally a line of law called enticement to trespass or trespass enticement. It means people were too greedy or stupid to not break the law and so the owner, who literally did nothing wrong, owes damages for having stuff worth stealing or playing with. Usually centered around kids floating face down in pools. Or a pool. If they are in multiple pools then there is another issue. Could a court consider easily stealable packages as enticement? Maybe, every state is different. Texas says the owner can literally shoot the trespasser as they run away the amazon box containing a dildo. NY say the trespasser can literally take or do whatever they want if you try and stop them you committed a crime. Duty to retreat is a bitch and I truly do hope the cops beat the national average response time of 15 minutes and you have the ability to call them.

If there is a law saying they can't sue, they can still sue and you get to pay a lawyer thousands of dollars to get it thrown out in court. Similar to the Colorado movie theater lawsuit where two or three families had to pay something like $300k in lawyer bills to the theater because they illegally sued. On top of having some newly dead relatives. Hope they kept some of the life insurance money.
But someone stealing packages off the front porch doesn't have a lot to countersue for. I'm willing to bet. Maybe that car?

The good is that there are legal co-ops things, called comprehensive legal protection, more similar to how unions work than actual insurance, that are designed to cover lawyer and court fees for self defence and sometimes B&E.
For actual payouts, through, your insurance umbrella policy will cover the trespasser slipping on wet due while stealing your cancer meds. Just get an umbrella policy and let the insurance company counter or fight the suit. Unless you really need those meds. Or dildos.

It is all a matter of how much they are willing to risk for the chance at easy money. But my advice is that people like this are loving stupid so expect to get sued.

And Liar Liar w/ Jim Carrey, so Hollywood, made the burglar suing homeowner concept popular.

It is a VERY nice dildo and i'll be damned if someone isn't penetrated because of it.

That person in texas is going to jail http://www.chron.com/news/politics/texas/article/In-Texas-even-possession-of-a-sex-toy-is-11161211.php for owning dildos

# ? Jan 30, 2018 06:06

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# ? May 15, 2024 02:03

KingSlime: Mar 20, 2007; Wake up with the Kin-OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!

Is that supposed to be a gimmick post? I need to believe you're clowning around because :drat:

Mental note: don't insult Fox news or it's viewers around two feet from bread

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:06

A FUCKIN CANARY!!: Nov 9, 2005

Memento posted:

TFR is full of stories of people ordering firearms that get left on the front porch and stolen.

It didn't actually get stolen but there was a pistol I couldn't find for like 3 days because the delivery guy just forged my signature and tossed the box into some bushes instead of even trying to knock. And of course calling to complain does nothing because it's not like the person answering the phone gets bonus pay for giving a poo poo.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:19

TotalLossBrain: Oct 20, 2010; Hier graben!

Two Feet From Bread posted:

And Liar Liar w/ Jim Carrey, so Hollywood, made the burglar suing homeowner concept popular.

Pretty sure I recall that being a very popular urban myth even before Liar Liar.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:24

Klaus Kinski: Nov 26, 2007; Der Klaus

I'm sweden they just drive by your house to get GPS tagged and then report "attempted delivery, noone home". If you're lucky you get to go to the distribution center instead of the usual service points which is a real fun adventure if you hate life and yourself. :haw:

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:26

Regrettable: Jan 5, 2010

ekuNNN posted:

You're a bad poster and you should feel bad.

Where's the schade? He totally nailed that.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:27

Feonir: Mar 30, 2011; Ask me about aquatic cocaine transportation and by-standard management.

https://i.imgur.com/NIXud3V.mp4

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:31

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Feonir posted:

https://i.imgur.com/NIXud3V.mp4

There are things you just don't do. Not because of the nutshot, but the casual discharge of a gun he isn't even holding. The firearms safety watchdog in my brain is freaking the gently caress out and would be telling me to never trust that guy to be within reach of a weapon ever again.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:43

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Powered Descent posted:

There are things you just don't do. Not because of the nutshot, but the casual discharge of a gun he isn't even holding. The firearms safety watchdog in my brain is freaking the gently caress out and would be telling me to never trust that guy to be within reach of a weapon ever again.

See the two cases of bud light next to them?

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:47

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Ziv Zulander posted:

See the two cases of bud light next to them?

I honestly had not noticed them. Good gravy. :cripes:

# ? Jan 30, 2018 07:51

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

Powered Descent posted:

There are things you just don't do. Not because of the nutshot, but the casual discharge of a gun he isn't even holding. The firearms safety watchdog in my brain is freaking the gently caress out and would be telling me to never trust that guy to be within reach of a weapon ever again.

I had the same reaction. With the added comment of "why isn't the loving safety on?"

# ? Jan 30, 2018 08:17

Don Gato: Apr 28, 2013; Actually a bipedal cat.; Grimey Drawer

DontMockMySmock posted:

I had the same reaction. With the added comment of "why isn't the loving safety on?"

Ziv Zulander posted:

See the two cases of bud light next to them?

Not empty quoting

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 30, 2018 09:13

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Powered Descent posted:

There are things you just don't do. Not because of the nutshot, but the casual discharge of a gun he isn't even holding. The firearms safety watchdog in my brain is freaking the gently caress out and would be telling me to never trust that guy to be within reach of a weapon ever again.

It's funny enough to be worth it.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 09:22

Freudian slippers: Jun 23, 2009; US Goon shocked and appalled to find that world is a dirty, unjust place

DontMockMySmock posted:

I had the same reaction. With the added comment of "why isn't the loving safety on?"

Because they're doing it on purpose.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 09:48

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

Panfilo posted:

Is it like some yuppie version of medicine ball exercises? Dog tossing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnHPxldBK4E

# ? Jan 30, 2018 10:03

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

Just redesign all homes so your mudroom has a door brands can unlock and an inner door they can't. Super simple stuff.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 10:19

Slugnoid: Jun 23, 2006; Nap Ghost

Memento posted:

This is exactly what happens in Australia as well, sorry your country sucks

I used to help my dad deliver for Australia post on school holidays and trust me we're not any better. We would leave parcels on doorsteps all the time, you'd just try to sort of tuck it away behind the pot plants or throw it over the fence into the backyard. If they have a locked gate you just chuck the parcel at the door from the footpath and sign the paperwork yourself. The fewer parcels you have to card and haul back to the LPO when your van is already chock full to bursting the easier your run is and earlier your day ends.

I thought maybe we were just bad posties but from what i used to hear loading up at the distribution center we were probably some of the better ones.

Also all the parcel posties were permanently pissed on red wine. If a bottle breaks in a case of 12 the whole box is written off and supposed to be 'destroyed' in a hopper out the back of the distribution centre. The hopper was always filled with empty wine stained cardboard but very few bottles.

Slugnoid has a new favorite as of 10:50 on Jan 30, 2018

# ? Jan 30, 2018 10:47

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

Slugnoid posted:

Also all the parcel posties were permanently pissed on red wine. If a bottle breaks in a case of 12 the whole box is written off and supposed to be 'destroyed' in a hopper out the back of the distribution centre. The hopper was always filled with empty wine stained cardboard but very few bottles.

One of the parcel companies here uses the slightly strange phrasing 'Your parcel became smashed' like it did it to itself or some unseen force acted upon it. It did not 'become smashed' you smashed you total fuckups.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 10:54

EmmyOk: Aug 11, 2013

Aramoro posted:

One of the parcel companies here uses the slightly strange phrasing 'Your parcel became smashed' like it did it to itself or some unseen force acted upon it. It did not 'become smashed' you smashed you total fuckups.

lmao

# ? Jan 30, 2018 11:08

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Aramoro posted:

One of the parcel companies here uses the slightly strange phrasing 'Your parcel became smashed' like it did it to itself or some unseen force acted upon it. It did not 'become smashed' you smashed you total fuckups.

Hulk not good deliveryman

# ? Jan 30, 2018 11:21

Shnag: Dec 8, 2010; "I'll be whatever I wanna do!"

Aramoro posted:

One of the parcel companies here uses the slightly strange phrasing 'Your parcel became smashed' like it did it to itself or some unseen force acted upon it. It did not 'become smashed' you smashed you total fuckups.

Um, actually, it was no ones fault.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut6X5TnLIQ4

# ? Jan 30, 2018 12:22

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

EmmyOk posted:

lmao

They also use 'Signed for by Matt' on signed for deliveries which means they left it on the doormat. And 'Signed for by Mr Gates' for left it near a gate somewhere. This is for tracked and signed for deliveries. But hey they're cheap.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 12:31

MisterOblivious: Mar 17, 2010; by sebmojo

Shnag posted:

Um, actually, it was no ones fault.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut6X5TnLIQ4

always like to point out that the clip probably exists because of Soothing Sounds for Baby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k66nGplNRmQ

( the song everyone knows him for composing)

# ? Jan 30, 2018 12:44

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Aramoro posted:

One of the parcel companies here uses the slightly strange phrasing 'Your parcel became smashed' like it did it to itself or some unseen force acted upon it. It did not 'become smashed' you smashed you total fuckups.

I love seeing the passive voice when folk are trying to dodge blame.

"...and in the resulting confusion, your honour, a sum of £100,000 was omitted from my tax return"

# ? Jan 30, 2018 13:02

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

Aramoro posted:

They also use 'Signed for by Matt' on signed for deliveries which means they left it on the doormat. And 'Signed for by Mr Gates' for left it near a gate somewhere. This is for tracked and signed for deliveries. But hey they're cheap.

A friend got "F. Rontdoor" as the signer.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 13:10

Over There: Jun 28, 2013; by Azathoth

Don Gato posted:

Not empty quoting

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Thanks Emmy

# ? Jan 30, 2018 13:22

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

WARNING: Incredibly violent accident involving man's best friend. :ohdear:

https://i.imgur.com/hza3QWA.gifv

# ? Jan 30, 2018 13:24

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/fUYYib1.mp4

# ? Jan 30, 2018 13:34

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/dlmSM0e.mp4

# ? Jan 30, 2018 13:45

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Samuringa posted:

Hulk not good deliveryman

Bruce Banner should have stuck with his first instinct and not gone for that postman job.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:01

kemikalkadet: Sep 16, 2012

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/fUYYib1.mp4

thought of ants and died

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:08

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/c5WyfcU.gifv

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:32

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/Yge0qBr.gifv

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:34

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/fUYYib1.mp4

Goddamn, the new Skyrim VR thing looks impressive.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:35

Helios Grime: Jan 27, 2012; Where we are going we won't need shirts; Pillbug

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/fUYYib1.mp4

Thought of pixels and died.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:37

Geocities Homepage King: Nov 26, 2007; I have good news, and I have bad news.
Which do you want to hear first...?

kemikalkadet posted:

thought of ants and hosed up his back

# ? Jan 30, 2018 14:57

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/FJ3ey8m.gifv

# ? Jan 30, 2018 15:04

Field Mousepad: Mar 21, 2010; BAE

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/FJ3ey8m.gifv

# ? Jan 30, 2018 15:29

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/FJ3ey8m.gifv

Evelyn: Action Princess

# ? Jan 30, 2018 15:52

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# ? May 15, 2024 02:03

ExecuDork: Feb 25, 2007; We might be fucked, sir.; Fallen Rib

MisterOblivious posted:

( the song everyone knows him for composing)

I started listening to this in another tab, then came back here and scrolled down through that trio of randaconda GIFs.

This soundtrack works really freakin' well for this thread. The autoplay queued up this next, it also works.

# ? Jan 30, 2018 16:51

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