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Injecting organic steroids into my rear end with a needle made of hemp |
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Jan 30, 2018 19:58
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Eat your peas or the Vegetable Tyrant will come and turn everything into pea: Pea lollipops, pea icecream, pea butter...There's no stopping the Vegetable Tyrant once he starts so nom nom, little Timmy. |
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Jan 30, 2018 23:41
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I had a funny joke that couldn't be its own thread, but I forgot it.
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Jan 31, 2018 04:19
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TVsVeryOwn posted:I had a funny joke that couldn't be its own thread, but I forgot it. nooooo |
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Jan 31, 2018 04:56
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Jolo posted:edit: jokes that are actually just weird thoughts that you're thinking about this morning and you shouldn't develop a thread for This is a good number of my posts, and an even greater number of my day to day jokes in person.
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Jan 31, 2018 05:35
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goth dog
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Jan 31, 2018 06:23
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Piso Mojado posted:goth dog A yellow lab that desperately wishes it could be a black lab. |
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Jan 31, 2018 06:39
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bored kid in a high fantasy world, sitting in class, doodling a picture of a businessman totally crushing his presentation to the board on the back of a notebook.
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Jan 31, 2018 06:42
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mysterious frankie posted:bored kid in a high fantasy world, sitting in class, doodling a picture of a businessman totally crushing his presentation to the board on the back of a notebook.
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Jan 31, 2018 07:03
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mysterious frankie posted:bored kid in a high fantasy world, sitting in class, doodling a picture of a businessman totally crushing his presentation to the board on the back of a notebook. after class he and his friends d&d as actuaries and IT guys CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Jan 31, 2018 09:05
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Jan 31, 2018 14:58
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wow on point lol
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Jan 31, 2018 15:05
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A hidden camera prank show starring Joe Piscopo where his big catch phrase is “you just got Piscopwned”
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Jan 31, 2018 15:46
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The adventures of goth service dog |
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Jan 31, 2018 18:40
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ghost emoji posted:after class he and his friends d&d as actuaries and IT guys stop doxxing me! |
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Jan 31, 2018 18:43
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Goth service dog tried to walk me into oncoming traffic again *laughtrack*. Looks like hes COLLIE out for help *laughtrack, opening for show begins playing* |
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Jan 31, 2018 18:45
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vanisher posted:Goth service dog tried to walk me into oncoming traffic again *laughtrack*. Looks like hes COLLIE out for help *laughtrack, opening for show begins playing* Theme from Goth Service Dog: Good Boys Don't Cry |
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Jan 31, 2018 18:56
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through my research i have rediscovered an old form of psychological torture: oil lamping.
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Jan 31, 2018 19:02
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"there are four lamps!" |
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Jan 31, 2018 19:04
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Ahab: A white whale took me leg! Stubb: Are you sure it was white? Maybe it was kind of gray? Ahab: It was white, I tell ye! Stubb: The reason I'm asking is, a white whale's not very likely, is it. Ahab: I saw it with my own two eyes! Stubb: Yes, well, our senses can deceive us. I thought I saw a white whale once, turned out to be squid corpse. Maybe a squid corpse took your leg? Ahab: It was a whale! White a hill of snow and big as a church steeple. Stubb: Okay, okay. No need to get upset. It was a whale, which would mean it was grey. That's the usual color of whales. Ahab: It was white! Stubb: Sometimes when the sun hits the water it kind of lights things up. Makes them look white when they're really greyish. I reckon that's what happened to you. Ahab: A white whale! Stubb: You mean like a beluga? Or a narwhal? Those can be white. Not real big on the whole leg-eating thing though. Ahab: A sperm whale, he was, with a head like a broad Roman wall and a tail like a double-scythe at harvest-time! Stubb: Uh huh *does wiggly fingers at head thing to the crew* ---------------- |
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Jan 31, 2018 19:10
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cda posted:Ahab: A white whale took me leg! I miss the extremely slow reading of moby dick, but i don't blame you for stopping either |
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Jan 31, 2018 21:47
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albany academy posted:"there are four lamps!" lol now I'm picturing an old timey picard |
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Jan 31, 2018 21:47
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cda posted:through my research i have rediscovered an old form of psychological torture: oil lamping. i didnt get it my first read over but then i read the other posts and wow this is good. |
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Jan 31, 2018 23:25
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Fursuiters except the suits are of politicians. "I identify as a Rom Emanuel, but I hate when everyone assumes I want to love every Obama ever." |
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Jan 31, 2018 23:39
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You know what I love about you, sweetheart? You always sink to my level. |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:32
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"I started listening to the Sisters of Mercy when I was 16. I heard the first album, and it blew me away. And those posters... Andrew Eldritch is so dreamy. I went out and asked the clerk if there were any other records I should get, and I bought everything he suggested. I started doing my eyeliner like Souixsie right away. I've never looked back." - Kierkegaard, On Identity |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:58
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Bitcoin |
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Feb 2, 2018 01:00
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albany academy posted:"I started listening to the Sisters of Mercy when I was 16. I heard the first album, and it blew me away. And those posters... Andrew Eldritch is so dreamy. I went out and asked the clerk if there were any other records I should get, and I bought everything he suggested. I started doing my eyeliner like Souixsie right away. I've never looked back." hahaha ---------------- |
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Feb 2, 2018 01:47
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:what do you call a joke with no punchline Adult Swim |
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Feb 2, 2018 12:12
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TVsVeryOwn posted:Bitcoin when it comes to bitcoin news, i like to stay crypto-current ---------------- |
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Feb 2, 2018 20:40
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As I prepare to telecommute beginning next week, what should I say to other passengers on the bus that I see regularly? Are gifts appropriate? If someone is not there should I ask the driver to give it to them next time? Will the people I see less regularly that I forget to gift get jealous?TVsVeryOwn posted:Fursuiters except the suits are of politicians. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa spectres of autism posted:when it comes to bitcoin news, i like to stay crypto-current Boo. Boooooooooooooooooo. I'm cheering you in ghost. |
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Feb 2, 2018 20:51
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Nevvy Z posted:Boo. Boooooooooooooooooo. lol
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Feb 3, 2018 11:58
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I had a breakfast cider today. It's just like a regular cider but you're an alcoholic. |
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Feb 4, 2018 18:37
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Youve heard of dog fights, right? Well check this out - fish fights. Just picked up two mean looking goldfish. I'm gonna put them in the same bowl and watch them fight for my amusement. |
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Feb 6, 2018 00:40
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*I hold my hand out, then slowly make a fist with my thumb held sideways... Then twist it down* (nothing happens because these are just goldfish) |
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Feb 6, 2018 00:43
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"Let the games begin" I say, sprinkling some food into the bowl. But its just two fish in a well decorated tank, pretty peacefully enjoying being fed. |
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Feb 6, 2018 00:45
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Gonna ruin the joke and say that if you put two male betta fish together you will in fact have a brutal fish fight |
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Feb 6, 2018 01:12
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You'll have a betta fish fight 
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Feb 6, 2018 02:18
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I lay two fish sticks on a plate equidistant from some tartar sauce. "Let the games begin!" |
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Feb 6, 2018 02:18
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Farecoal posted:Gonna ruin the joke and say that if you put two male betta fish together you will in fact have a brutal fish fight beta fish would be alphas if they would just take the redpill |
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Feb 6, 2018 05:25
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