Schadenfreude Thread: What did they think would happen?

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BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Trig Discipline posted:

Oh hey here's some weed-related schadenfreude:

As I just mentioned, too much weed makes me vomit explosively. I am also one of those weird people who under normal circumstances never pukes. Like literally the last time I puked I had food poisoning that had me bedridden for days, and that was at least fifteen years ago. It's like every fiber of my being resists it and it's very traumatic when I do (i.e., I am a huge wuss about it).

Okay, so. Was hanging out with friends from my band and others back in the mid-90s. We ate some cheese fries at a restaurant then went and hosed around on the tennis courts for a bit, and finally smoked some weed. Then we hopped in the car to drive home, me riding in the back seat of a friend's car who was the front man for another band. I was apparently Too High, because without warning I just suddenly and explosively barfed cheese fries all over my friend's back seat. He was like OH gently caress MAN WAS THAT PUKE OH GOD and pulled over at a gas station for me to clean myself up. I was too high to do much of anything other than wash my face in the gas station bathroom and try not to freak out and cry, and was in no condition to help clean up my own barf. Leaving, of course, my friends to do it while they cursed my name.

Couple weeks later we played a gig with his band and they had a new song called Smells Like Trig's Vomit (with my real name obviously).

He just barfed now, it'll stain us
A blaghado, el Vomito
Hot potato, on the seat-o, yeah

# ? Feb 2, 2018 03:43

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# ? May 14, 2024 04:57

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

From the related videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbE53XUtVw0

:eyepop:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:11

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

I know that's from a couple years ago, but Christ.

Looks like he was upwind. If memory serves, grizzly's vision isn't all that great.

I would have voided myself, no question.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:14

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Phanatic posted:

From the related videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbE53XUtVw0

I know it's real, but the part starting here looks like a guy in a novelty store bear suit for a few seconds:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbE53XUtVw0&t=53s

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:18

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Is that a gun on the ground?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:23

blunt for century: Jul 4, 2008; I've got a bone to pick.

Platystemon posted:

Is that a gun on the ground?

Looks like a shotgun of some kind to me.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:28

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Right where he can't get at it.

Probably would have just pissed the bear off, anyway.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:35

Dillbag: Mar 4, 2007; Click here to join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces; Nap Ghost

At the end of the clip you can see he's above a river with a dozen grizzly fishing in the water about 100 feet away, probably salmon spawning season. Maybe a nature photographer or something. The bears could have been fairly habituated to his presence at that point, which is not always a good thing.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:43

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

PainterofCrap posted:

Right where he can't get at it.

Probably would have just pissed the bear off, anyway.

Good chance, but I�d still rather have it in my hands than on the ground next to the bear.

How close did that bear get before he noticed it?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:47

MisterOblivious: Mar 17, 2010; by sebmojo

https://i.imgur.com/RYv170X.gifv

Parking brake works!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:08

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Gorilla Salad posted:

I know it's real, but the part starting here looks like a guy in a novelty store bear suit for a few seconds:

Yeah, just for a few seconds the head just looks like it's completely static.

Memento has a new favorite as of 05:19 on Feb 2, 2018

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:09

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012

Phanatic posted:

From the related videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbE53XUtVw0

My favorite part was when he turned the camera away from the bear that sat down to reveal the ~7 other bears that he was also way too close to.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:10

Free Drinks: Dec 16, 2006; Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.

Randaconda posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5cMZymSr0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INov9gQ2aUA

This is still one of the darkest pieces of black comedy I have ever witnessed, and man it still holds up.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:21

Away all Goats: Jul 5, 2005; Goose's rebellion

MisterOblivious posted:

https://i.imgur.com/RYv170X.gifv

Parking brake works!

says this guy was trying to brake check with his parking brake

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:35

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Away all Goats posted:

says this guy was trying to brake check with his parking brake

No question. He was passing using the left breakdown lane. rear end in a top hat.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:37

Hihohe: Oct 4, 2008; Fuck you and the sun you live under

Trig Discipline posted:

Oh hey here's some weed-related schadenfreude:

As I just mentioned, too much weed makes me vomit explosively. I am also one of those weird people who under normal circumstances never pukes. Like literally the last time I puked I had food poisoning that had me bedridden for days, and that was at least fifteen years ago. It's like every fiber of my being resists it and it's very traumatic when I do (i.e., I am a huge wuss about it).

Okay, so. Was hanging out with friends from my band and others back in the mid-90s. We ate some cheese fries at a restaurant then went and hosed around on the tennis courts for a bit, and finally smoked some weed. Then we hopped in the car to drive home, me riding in the back seat of a friend's car who was the front man for another band. I was apparently Too High, because without warning I just suddenly and explosively barfed cheese fries all over my friend's back seat. He was like OH gently caress MAN WAS THAT PUKE OH GOD and pulled over at a gas station for me to clean myself up. I was too high to do much of anything other than wash my face in the gas station bathroom and try not to freak out and cry, and was in no condition to help clean up my own barf. Leaving, of course, my friends to do it while they cursed my name.

Couple weeks later we played a gig with his band and they had a new song called Smells Like Trig's Vomit (with my real name obviously).

gently caress i thought i was the only one with traumatic vomits. If i even feel a little queesy, I start thinking about how much it will suck to vomit and I start feeling anxious.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:42

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

I've been that close to a grizzly or closer, it was dark and I was in a tent in the middle of nowhere. When I realized a bear was sniffing my tent the only thing I could think to do was pretend I was approaching from a distance so I started mumbling, first in a whisper, then a murmur, eventually to a full voice. Seemed to have worked. Bear left the area and I am still here poo poo posting 6 years later.

It wouldn't have been as worrisome if I hadn't watched Grizzly Man a week before that backpacking trip. My advice: don't watch Grizzly Man a week before you go backpacking in bear country.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:45

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Ariong posted:

My favorite part was when he turned the camera away from the bear that sat down to reveal the ~7 other bears that he was also way too close to.

Seven?

It�s like twenty. :trumppop:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:45

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Platystemon posted:

Good chance, but I�d still rather have it in my hands than on the ground next to the bear.

Yea could you imagine a bear with a gun they're already dangerous enough

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:47

BovineFury: Oct 28, 2007; I moo for great justice!

Little thief.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWCBfYagEo4

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:51

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

KoRMaK posted:

Yea could you imagine a bear with a gun they're already dangerous enough

Let me tell you about Wojtek...

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:11

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

KoRMaK posted:

Yea could you imagine a bear with a gun

I'm trying SO hard not to make the obvious terrible joke here...

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:19

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

https://twitter.com/robwhisman/status/959154744299200512

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:25

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:32

OBAMNA PHONE: Aug 7, 2002

Away all Goats posted:

says this guy was trying to brake check with his parking brake

gently caress this guy with a rake, what an rear end in a top hat

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:40

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

https://i.imgur.com/aobCE0b.mp4

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:48

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Oof.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:03

Mercedes Colomar: Nov 1, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Memento posted:

https://twitter.com/robwhisman/status/959154744299200512

Not to go all TCC, but those flavorings are what they use for vaping. But you only put like 3 drops into whatever vegetable glycerin/propylene glycol blend you prefer. So it's not TO out there. Stupid of the people vaping it straight, yes. But.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:17

Trig Discipline: Jun 3, 2008; Please leave the room if you think this might offend you.; Grimey Drawer

Hihohe posted:

gently caress i thought i was the only one with traumatic vomits. If i even feel a little queesy, I start thinking about how much it will suck to vomit and I start feeling anxious.

Yeah and it sucks because I really like weed up to a certain point, but I'm such a lightweight and the poo poo is so strong these days that it's like playing some sort of horrible barf lottery. If I smoked regularly I'd be the dude going to the dealer like "Hey what's your worst, shittiest weed? No, worse than that. Okay, could I just stand next to you while you smoke it then?"

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:25

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Just mix it with a bunch of grass clippings.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:28

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

The Lone Badger posted:

Just mix it with a bunch of grass clippings.

Since when does High Times have a Pyongyang desk?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 08:41

DiggityDoink: Dec 9, 2007

Trig Discipline posted:

Yeah and it sucks because I really like weed up to a certain point, but I'm such a lightweight and the poo poo is so strong these days that it's like playing some sort of horrible barf lottery. If I smoked regularly I'd be the dude going to the dealer like "Hey what's your worst, shittiest weed? No, worse than that. Okay, could I just stand next to you while you smoke it then?"

You might just be smoking bad weed. I, as a professional 24 hour a day stoner, will still puke if I smoke bad weed. If it's not cured right, I'll barf off a single hit from a joint. Basically, if it tastes like wet grass it's bad buds.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 09:56