/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

gently caress her friends. What unbelievable pieces of poo poo to side with that rear end in a top hat and not believe her.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:31

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# ? May 30, 2024 05:58

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Al Borland Corp. posted:

gently caress her friends. What unbelievable pieces of poo poo to side with that rear end in a top hat and not believe her.

thats whitepeople.txt

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:31

Maggie Fletcher: Jul 19, 2009; Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

Some kinks are shameful, and it's okay to shame them. Good on that lady; hope she finds someone who treats her well and leaves this pig in the dust.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:40

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Maggie Fletcher posted:

Some kinks are shameful, and it's okay to shame them. Good on that lady; hope she finds someone who treats her well and leaves this pig in the dust.

dirt. I think you mean... dirt

# ? Feb 2, 2018 04:45

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Pick posted:

dirt. I think you mean... dirt

'Put'. The english phrase is "put them in the dirt."

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:00

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

The Lone Badger posted:

'Put'. The english phrase is "put them in the dirt."

Translation:

:killing:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:05

Ultimate Shrek Fan: May 2, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

Martha Stewart Undying posted:

thats whitepeople.txt

No it's not. It's racists.txt.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:07

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

God I expected the twist to be that it was some really minor fetish and instead it somehow still ended up shocking given the title.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:17

IAmThatIs: Nov 17, 2014; Wasteland Style

Ultimate Shrek Fan posted:

Martha Stewart Undying posted:
thats whitepeople.txt

No it's not. It's racists.txt.

I'm confused, you didn't change anything :crossarms:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:19

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Jokes aside like it sounds like she probably mentioned he was forcing her head down and her 'friends' still acted like it was some fake-rear end orgasm tourettes?

Like even if people really did blurt out random stuff while orgasming he was raping her until she bit his dick. I hope he gets gangrene.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 05:37

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Human bites are dirty as gently caress so if she broke the skin it�s not all that unlikely especially if he was too dumb to get it looked at - which, given the circumstances, doesn�t seem like a stretch!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:23

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Dick Valentine posted:

My [21F] ex [23M] had a fetish that made me so uncomfortable I ended our 5 year relationship. Now he�s making me out to be the bad guy. What do I do?

quote:

they were all �it was just an accident you can�t help what you�re saying during an orgasm� so now I�ve stopped speaking to them too.

Also that means they've had the same hosed up thoughts.

quote:

Additionally, he called me while drunk a few days ago and bragged about having sex with my old best friend and that she let him call her �all the things she really is... a little slutty nggr who loves white c***) and he�s been making fake email accounts to email me and ask me to delete the voicemail because I threatened to send it to his mother if both of them didn�t leave me alone.

You should invite him over and hit him with a brick.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:33

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

she should post the voicemail on facebook, wait for the hateful responses to roll in, then get a clickbate site to go viral with it and get them all pilloried. With the voicemail that poo poo would be fire.

Dude needs to burn and so does everyone around him.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:37

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

Dude's garbage, and her friends are garbage. She deserves better on both counts. I'm definitely in favour of her exposing him to everyone, and if her friends still give her poo poo about it, :sever:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:44

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Complete lack of contrition + will not back off and leave her alone = yeah, go nuclear. Post the voicemail on his Facebook.

Good on her for giving the ring back right there in the parking lot though. Lady tough.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:48

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

drat Calvin, get it together!

And quit being a racist piece of poo poo!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:51

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The Lone Badger posted:

Complete lack of contrition + will not back off and leave her alone = yeah, go nuclear. Post the voicemail on his Facebook.

Good on her for giving the ring back right there in the parking lot though. Lady tough.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 06:56

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

IAmThatIs posted:

No it's not. It's racists.txt.

I'm confused, you didn't change anything :crossarms:

[/quote]

I feel this isn't the best thing to encourage, because you're validating their excuses. The truth they don't want to acknowledge is it's not that hard to not be openly racist.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:18

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

Inescapable Duck posted:

I'm confused, you didn't change anything

I feel this isn't the best thing to encourage, because you're validating their excuses. The truth they don't want to acknowledge is it's not that hard to not be openly racist.
[/quote]

you just have to dye your skin, apparently

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:31

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

it's pretty weird how racism has a sexual component where racists sometimes want to have sex with people whose skin color they dislike

like it's a slight positive on the anti-racist trajectory but it's still mega weird and awful

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:34

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

boner confessor posted:

like it's a slight positive on the anti-racist trajectory

It super isn�t

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:43

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

boner confessor posted:

it's pretty weird how racism has a sexual component where racists sometimes want to have sex with people whose skin color they dislike

like it's a slight positive on the anti-racist trajectory but it's still mega weird and awful

No, it's a domination thing. I hope his dick falls off.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 07:47

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Pick posted:

lps you know a bunch of grade-f, poo poo-tier duders

Very true. At least it makes for humorous anecdotes and I didn�t get chlamydia.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 08:55

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

I feel like this is a good candidate for one of those multi-part black twitter stories that end up being huge things

# ? Feb 2, 2018 08:57

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Me [31F] with my husband [36 M] 11 years, found out he's given >60k to his emotional affair[23f], how to move forward

quote:

Throwaway and some minor details changed for obvious reasons. Married over 10 years, have 3 kids, some pets, a house together.

Last week my cards started getting declined and my DH (who has generally managed all the finances) confessed that he had loaned his deadbeat sister 40k. He had overdrawn all our accounts, hadn't consulted me about it, and we had to move into crisis mode and borrow money from family to get solvent. In theory, his sister is selling her house and will pay us back in full with some of the equity this summer.

I've spent a week agonizing over budgeting and trying to find ways to come up with money for our kid's birthday in a few months. Tonight I asked him to log into our bank account so I could check our spending from last month and he got squirrely about it but it was kid bedtime so I had to wait.

I came down from getting the kids to bed and he had written down the payment info I was looking for on a piece of paper instead of letting me see the screen. That's when I knew something was wrong. I handed him the laptop to log in, and that's when he confessed that he had been having an emotional affair.

He said that late 2016 he had gone to a strip club a few times and met a stripper who had claimed to be having a hard time. They exchanged numbers and starting texting (he's deleted all the texts so I have no way of knowing exactly what was said). She started asking for money, always with a sob story, so he paid her, and then just kept paying. They never had a physical affair, but he says he loved her, and she said she loved him. He never had any intentions of leaving me (and we've been poly before, so I wouldn't have been opposed to him having a girlfriend if he'd done it right).

His sister had begged him for money last month (it was only 20k, he fudged the numbers hoping to cover up the affair) and he drained our accounts to pay them (his sister/the affair). When his affair texted again begging for money and he said no, she said she would tell ME about their affair if he didn't pay (and included details like my name and our address, so she's looked us up), so he used the borrowed money to pay her off.

I took a few minutes to add up all the payments, and it's over $60,000 in about 14 months. He even did an early withdrawal from his retirement account to pay her. I'm completely blindsided by this, and have no idea how to even start processing any of it.

He is incredibly apologetic and feels terrible about it, but I'm so horrified by the year+ of sneaking around, and the complete lack of financial responsibility. I'm obviously hurt by the affair too, but I'm trying to keep this strictly on the "oh poo poo, how do we get through this financially" aspect.

I don't know how to set boundaries around finances to protect myself/my kids from him spending the money we've been able to borrow (we got another loan putting us at about 10k, but there is still some card debt to pay off). So far he's given me all his credit/debit cards and I've changed the passwords on all our billing accounts so I can manage billing and he won't have access. I'll give him cash as needed for gas (I do all the grocery/household shopping). Obviously I need to start taking a more active role in managing our finances and checking all our statements each month.

I know that we could report his ex for extortion, but that wouldn't get our money back. However, if she tries to ask him for money again, he will tell her that he no longer has access to any money because I found out about her and that there's nothing he can do. Would it make sense for him to get paper records from our phone company of the text messages so that we have evidence of extortion if she won't stop harassing him? He paid her as recently as 1/31, so I have no idea how long it will take her to give up.

Is there anything else I'm missing? Are there any relationship boundaries I should be setting, or things he should do to help me trust that his affair is over?

It's 3:30am for me right now (guess entering 100+ payments into a spreadsheet makes time fly) so I may fall asleep and take a few hours to reply, but I will absolutely be back in about 6 hours to read any advice. Thanks for reading this long post, and thanks in advance for anyone who takes the time to reply!

tl;dr: Husband gave >60k over 12 months to an emotional affair partner (partly because of extortion), how to set financial boundaries and salvage our relationship?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 09:29

Sandweed: Sep 7, 2006; All your friends are me.

Findom is a hell of a kink.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 09:41

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Three days ago I (33m) left my wife (30f) without any notice, today I found out she has passed away from an overdose linked to cocaine and fentanyl.

Three days ago I (33m) made the hardest choice I've ever made and walked away from my marriage without saying anything to my wife (30f).

She was a serial cheater and had been manipulating me to be her doormat. I finally stood up to her abuse and packed and left while she was out with another man without saying anything.

Today I received a call from the police that my wife has passed away from a suspected cocaine/fentanyl overdose, which i had to identify the body. I'm now trying to pick up the pieces of what has happened and have found very little support or comfort in the last hours. Regardless if I left my wife I still feel more than devastated and realized that I loved her as a person more than I ever knew but wasn't able to stand her behaviour to me.

Am I wrong to feel guilty and some responsibility too what has happened to her. I was completely unaware of any drug use by her and will have to wait multiple weeks for a toxicology report to find out the real cause of death and what her usage was actually like.

TL;dr I (33m) left my wife (30f) three days ago due to her constant cheating, only to be informed of her passing by drug overdose three days later. I can't help but feel so much guilt for causing her to react the way she has which has cost her life.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 10:06

RNG: Jul 9, 2009

Dick Valentine posted:

My [21F] ex [23M] had a fetish that made me so uncomfortable I ended our 5 year relationship. Now he�s making me out to be the bad guy. What do I do?

Whenever someone says "I'm not racist, I'm dating/dated a minority" I picture something like this.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 10:24

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

RNG posted:

Whenever someone says "I'm not racist, I'm dating/dated a minority"

If anyone says that, please punch them for me.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 10:34

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I loosely recall the legend of a D&D poster who turned out to engage in slave roleplay in a similar fashion.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 10:38

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Three days ago I (33m) left my wife (30f) without any notice, today I found out she has passed away from an overdose linked to cocaine and fentanyl.

Three days ago I (33m) made the hardest choice I've ever made and walked away from my marriage without saying anything to my wife (30f).

She was a serial cheater and had been manipulating me to be her doormat. I finally stood up to her abuse and packed and left while she was out with another man without saying anything.

Today I received a call from the police that my wife has passed away from a suspected cocaine/fentanyl overdose, which i had to identify the body. I'm now trying to pick up the pieces of what has happened and have found very little support or comfort in the last hours. Regardless if I left my wife I still feel more than devastated and realized that I loved her as a person more than I ever knew but wasn't able to stand her behaviour to me.

Am I wrong to feel guilty and some responsibility too what has happened to her. I was completely unaware of any drug use by her and will have to wait multiple weeks for a toxicology report to find out the real cause of death and what her usage was actually like.

TL;dr I (33m) left my wife (30f) three days ago due to her constant cheating, only to be informed of her passing by drug overdose three days later. I can't help but feel so much guilt for causing her to react the way she has which has cost her life.

Cheer up, bucko! You're going to save a lot of money on the divorce!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 13:10

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Admiral Ray posted:

Also that means they've had the same hosed up thoughts.

Why are there so many people who can't tell the difference between talking dirty and insulting someone?

"Oh yeah baby, we're getting all Tool Time tonight. I'm gonna rub your titties with Elmer's glue and peel it off when it dries."

Versus

"Oh filthy whore. You slut. Bitch."

# ? Feb 2, 2018 13:35

Hot Dog Day #91: Jun 19, 2003

andrew smash posted:

Human bites are dirty as gently caress so if she broke the skin it’s not all that unlikely especially if he was too dumb to get it looked at - which, given the circumstances, doesn’t seem like a stretch!

Knowing that you're a pathologist makes this double lol at the dude.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 13:52

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Cousin (24 F) wants me (26 F) to go to bachelorette party in Vegas, I�m very tight on money and she�s furious that I may not go.

quote:

I�m one of the bridesmaids. We grew up together, I do want to be there for her but I�m broke. Ticket is $500 for a 5 day event in July. This includes your ticket to each party and your hotel stay. Doesn�t include food and airfare. We live on the east coast, flight will be at least 300 (I�m guessing maybe a little less or more? Not sure I�ve never flown cross country).

Right now I�m on disability, I got very sick in the spring of last year and a lot has changed in my life since I last told her I would go. Yesterday she mass texted bridesmaids with the info on how much it will cost. I texted her personally and was honest. Told her I don�t have the money. She got mad and told me I�ve known about it for a year and should have been prepared better, said what I�m doing is not right, that I�m just trying to back out.

I also recently went on a weekend trip with friends to a place that was only an hour away (i drove myself) and chipped in $100 to stay in a cabin. She brought it up and said if I can do that, I should do her trip. This made me mad bc how I spend my money is not her business and there is a huge difference between that inexpensive getaway and Vegas trip.

Do you think I�m in the wrong? What else should I say? I honestly feel like she�s starting to be a selfish �bridezilla� and I don�t want that to effect our personal relationship. But idk where to go from here. I have bills and rent to pay, I�m barely getting by as it is. Also I will have to buy a dress for her wedding and stay in a hotel as she is having it a few hours away from where we live. I will be even more poor than I am now if I go through with this Vegas thing. What do I do/say. Should I drop out of the wedding all together??? Please help!

Tldr; cousin is having extremely expensive wedding/bachelorette party and expects me to be there for all of it when I�m broke AF.

My cousin was my best man and also the brokest one in my groom party, but was living in Denver at the time, so rather than having him fly in for a bachelor party we had everyone else fly out to Denver and had the party there

and man was I ever not ready for Colorado weed

but anyway I think this girl should ask whoever's footing the bill for the expensive wedding (probably her 24-year-old cousin's parents, ahem) to pay for this because it's a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of it

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:27

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

You know if your cousin really cared about your presence there, she and her friends would pool money to buy you a ticket.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:37

Rat Patrol: Feb 15, 2008; kill kill kill kill
kill me now

Based on the fact that she's apparently throwing her own bachelorette party, my guess is this is just the party she decided she wanted and is expecting her bridesmaids to subsidise it for her. She doesn't want her cousin there, she wanted her cousin's money to lessen her share.

Edit: vvv it sounds like a bargain, until you realize it does not include airfare, food, or drinks. In Vegas. Maybe the bride is a "let's just have McDonald's and enjoy the party" type but I just doubt that for some reason

Rat Patrol fucked around with this message at 14:42 on Feb 2, 2018

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:39

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

That sounds like a drat bargain, sucks she can't afford it and they're being dicks about it.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:39

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Palpek posted:

Me [31F] with my husband [36 M] 11 years, found out he's given >60k to his emotional affair[23f], how to move forward

what's worse, burning 14k dollars in 2D wives on a mobile game of 60k dollars on a gold digging stripper?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:42

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

[UK] Head physician of practice refused to re-wrap my potentially broken hand with a support bandage while in my appointment with him, then palmed me off to the nurses to make me wait 45 minutes.

quote:

Hello there, looking for a little advice please. As the title says, this is the basic jist of it, I phoned to complain and they told me in his words he didnt have the 'expertise' (skill) to do it. Are you joking? Hes the head GP of the practice with half a dozen medical certificates on his wall, doesn't have the skill to put a sime support bandage on?

Now I'm not talking about a full-blown cast here, literally a simple bandage from a first aid box wrapped around for a bit of support..I left the dr, not going to wait 45 minutes, in agony, for someone to give me less than a minute of time to help me.

His words 'i dont care if it had taken me 1 minute or 10 to wrap it, i had other patients waiting' WHAT. I said i dont give a gently caress if there was 600 people next after me, that was MY 10 minute appointment and within that time the dr is there to provide as much care to me as he can, i wasnt running over time i wasnt being a hassle, i simply asked as one hurting human being to another for a little support and it was refused.

I was going to go to a solicitors but i know i am pissing in the wind, he will hide behind policy and procedure like they all do, he is the head physician after all, they arent going to close the practice and put 20 staff and 5 other drs out of work just because he was a disgusting human being, and i wouldnt want to see that.

All i want is to let people know not to go to this dr, i was going to put a long post on facebook explaining everything and telling people to avoid him, however, can i be done for libel/slander? I dont fully understand the terms, ive tried reading them but i cant really understand it.

To me this is disgusting behaviour for any human being, let alone a Doctor, let alone the head GP of the entire practice..

Thank you for your time and help or advice would be greatly appreciated. I put UK in the title as i know laws differ and most of this sub is probably american, just to stop anyone wasting thier time typing me out advice only to realise im in the UK and it doesnt apply.

Thanks again. -V

quote:

Literally 2 minutes, i sat down he asked me to take the bandage off, it unravelled pretty easily when the pin was undone. He felt each bone in my hand, asked if it hurt, i said yes, he went back to his desk, said ill book you for an xray, then i asked could you help me put this bandage back on, and he refused. He then spent a further 5 minutes on the computer looking at stuff, then printed me off an xray form, give it to me, then i left. Mate, how can you not say that is disgusting behaviour?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:45

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# ? May 30, 2024 05:58

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Huntersoninski posted:

Based on the fact that she's apparently throwing her own bachelorette party, my guess is this is just the party she decided she wanted and is expecting her bridesmaids to subsidise it for her. She doesn't want her cousin there, she wanted her cousin's money to lessen her share.

Edit: vvv it sounds like a bargain, until you realize it does not include airfare, food, or drinks. In Vegas. Maybe the bride is a "let's just have McDonald's and enjoy the party" type but I just doubt that for some reason

As I understand it usually people pay their own way at bachelor/ette parties, but if the bride decides she wants a big fancy rager in Vegas and her bridesmaids can't afford it, they're gonna have to figure something else out

# ? Feb 2, 2018 14:47

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