Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Colostomy Bag posted:

Probably the best avatar for Derek would be a slideshow of every avatar change with a dollar counter. But then it would take a few hours to watch the animated jif.

Wouldn't work:

I blame Radium

# ? Feb 2, 2018 19:51

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:43

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

big nipples big life posted:

the best one

That was a great one, but I'm partial to the unicorn. It was baffling and surreal.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 19:53

Preen Dog: Nov 8, 2017

Sweet.

I would love to see Isblame(). I'll bet it just blames the vehicle that was moving faster at the time of collision.

Also, if it clamps speeds below 1 to 0, destroying other ships by rubbing is still a viable tactic.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 19:53

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Foo Diddley posted:

Wouldn't work:

I blame Radium

Christ, I'm not sure 150MB would be sufficient.

For the first time in history, a man's avatar is encoded in H.265 to save the internet.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 19:54

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Preen Dog posted:

I would love to see Isblame().

Okay, here you go:

code:

{
  return;
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 19:58

CrazyLoon: Aug 10, 2015; "..."

Scruffpuff posted:

That was a great one, but I'm partial to the unicorn. It was baffling and surreal.

I will always miss the Signal Booster.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:00

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:04

ManofManyAliases: Mar 21, 2016; ToastOfManySmarts

Can't post for 3 hours!

Jobbo_Fett posted:

I imagine its because snooty people like MoMa have a hard time figuring out which shirt they want to wear. The various fabrics available to such fancy individuals are of different thickness, so when you come to tuck in your shirt you need the ratcheting ability of an adjustable belt to make sure you always look perfect*

*Perfection not guaranteed

I won't disagree.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:05

ManofManyAliases: Mar 21, 2016; ToastOfManySmarts

Can't post for 3 hours!

Scruffpuff posted:

Whoever is paying for your avatar changes lately is loving bereft of wit and imagination. I mean poo poo, insult you if they feel the urge, but attempt to put the comedy in this dead gay comedy forum. Your last few avatars have been so dull I'm tempted to think Chris Roberts himself changed them.

Plot twist: (it's Derek!)

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:06

Streetroller: Jun 11, 2016

D_Smart posted:

Yeah, it's baffling. But then again, it's Streetroller who doesn't appear to have better things to do with 10 bux.

Maybe you just don't deserve a good avatar.

ManofManyAliases posted:

Plot twist: (it's Derek!)

Makes sense. Must be spending all that money he gets for falling out of bed on avatars.
Jokes on him, he falls. I fly.

Streetroller fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Feb 2, 2018

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:09

Propagandist: Oct 23, 2007

big nipples big life posted:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:09

Drunk Theory: Aug 20, 2016; Oven Wrangler

big nipples big life posted:

Kinda want the fish to be the SC logo, but I'm not good with gifs, and this is already pretty good.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:10

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

big nipples big life posted:

Yes

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:16

The Saddest Robot: Apr 17, 2007

Foo Diddley posted:

Okay, here you go:
code:
{
  return;
}

It's probably something more like

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	// The backers will never know
	if(Random(100) < 50))
		return true;
	else
		return false;
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:22

Beexoffel: Oct 4, 2015; Herald of the Stimpire

G0RF posted:

Somebody fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Feb 2, 2018

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:22

Beexoffel: Oct 4, 2015; Herald of the Stimpire

big nipples big life posted:

the best one

ELE in ogre

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:23

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

it's all ogre now

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:24

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

The Saddest Robot posted:

It's probably something more like

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	// The backers will never know
	if(Random(100) < 50))
		return true;
	else
		return false;
}

Close. 50/50-chance that it's actually like this:

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	// The backers will never know
	if(Random(100) < 50)) {
		return true;
	return false;
	}
	// Hey Johnny, I noticed you had forgot the squirly things like an amateur so I added them back,
	// also, what's with the different indentations? /ChrisR
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:25

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Tippis posted:

Close. 50/50-chance that it's actually like this:

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	// The backers will never know
	if(Random(100) < 50)) {
		return true;
	return false;
	}
	// Hey Johnny, I noticed you had forgot the squirly things like an amateur so I added them back,
	// also, what's with the different indentations? /ChrisR
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:27

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Along with the ABS function on bugsmashers, you folks do realize you are posting code for the funding tracker right?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:28

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

Anything funny in Reverse the Hearse - Back Peddle Special?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:29

BluesShaman: Apr 25, 2016; She wore Blue Velvet.

SoftNum posted:

Thank you for loving Pupkin!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:30

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Foo Diddley posted:

Okay, here you go:
code:
{
  return;
}

It should be at least

code:

{
  return false; // ToDO: Implement a check wether or not A or B is quilty. Until then no one is guilty. Except Derek Smart! signed: Ryan Archer
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:31

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Tippis posted:

Close. 50/50-chance that it's actually like this:

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	// The backers will never know
	if(Random(100) < 50)) {
		return true;
	return false;
	}
	// Hey Johnny, I noticed you had forgot the squirly things like an amateur so I added them back,
	// also, what's with the different indentations? /ChrisR
}

Thanks for nearly killing 50% of all programmers in this thread.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:32

Salt n Reba McEntire: Nov 14, 2000; Kuparp.

Warning: Unreachable game detected.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:35

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Anybody got their crossbow yet?

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/12951-Back-SotA-Get-A-Crossbow-In-Star-Citizen

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:39

Streetroller: Jun 11, 2016

Tippis posted:

Close. 50/50-chance that it's actually like this:

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	// The backers will never know
	if(Random(100) < 50)) {
		return true;
	return false;
	}
	// Hey Johnny, I noticed you had forgot the squirly things like an amateur so I added them back,
	// also, what's with the different indentations? /ChrisR
}

Jesus, you guys are amateurs. Generating an extra 99 numbers you don't need.

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	return (bool)(rand() % 2) 
	// Fixed your lovely code Chris
	// -Street
	// p.s. Why are we returning a boolean and not the entity?
}

*(I'm an idiot, this is c++)

Streetroller fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Feb 2, 2018

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:39

Propagandist: Oct 23, 2007

spacetoaster posted:

Anybody got their crossbow yet?

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/12951-Back-SotA-Get-A-Crossbow-In-Star-Citizen

bunnyman.jpg

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:42

Preen Dog: Nov 8, 2017

Doesn't even matter what Isblame() does because we all know that speedA and speedB are going to be spiking into insane values as the collisions occur.

A guy got a crimestat for getting run over by an Ursa.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:46

Eldragon: Feb 22, 2003

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	if(a.name.equals("Paul Walker")) {
		return true;
	}
	return false;
}

Fixed that for you.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:48

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

Eldragon posted:

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	if(a.name.equals("Paul Walker")) {
		return true;
	}
	return false;
}

Fixed that for you.

You're wrong!

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	if(a.name.equals("Sandi Gardiner")) {
		return false;
	}
	if(b.name.equals("Sandi Gardiner")) {
		return true;
	}
	return (bool) "Mark Hamill";
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:53

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Scruffpuff posted:

That was a great one, but I'm partial to the unicorn. It was baffling and surreal.

Yeah, I was quite fond of the unicorn as well.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:53

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

ManofManyAliases posted:

Plot twist: (it's Derek!)

heh nope. It's Streetroller who seemed to think that a gorilla with a pole up his rear end is somehow fun and acceptable. Which is why I reported it, and had my previous one restored by admins. He then changed it to this latest one.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:55

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

spacetoaster posted:

Anybody got their crossbow yet?

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/12951-Back-SotA-Get-A-Crossbow-In-Star-Citizen

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:58

Streetroller: Jun 11, 2016

D_Smart posted:

heh nope. It's Streetroller who seemed to think that a gorilla with a pole up his rear end is somehow fun and acceptable. Which is why I reported it, and had my previous one restored by admins. He then changed it to this latest one.

I did nothing of the sort, though I can understand your desire to demonize me... a crippled in a wheelchair leaves his house and does things, while you vegetate and vomit diarrhea all over your keyboard.
I can be intimidating.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:00

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Tank Boy Ken posted:

Thanks for nearly killing 50% of all programmers in this thread.

Salaries just went up!
I only ask for a 5% commission fee.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:05

Wiz: May 16, 2004; Nap Ghost

Pretty sure this is the only code Star Citizen will ever need:

code:

void main()
{
    float fMoney = getFunding() - getSlushFund();
    if ( fMoney > 0f )
    {
        doMoCap();
    }
    else
    {
       fMoney += doShipSale();
       ASSERT( fMoney > 0f && "CHRIS R: If you see this assert, IMMEDIATELY book two first class seats for Monaco in my name" );
    }
}

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:06

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Wiz posted:

Pretty sure this is the only code Star Citizen will ever need:

code:

void main()
{
    float fMoney = getFunding() - getSlushFund();
    if ( fMoney > 0f )
    {
        doMoCap();
    }
    else
    {
       fMoney += doShipSale();
       ASSERT( fMoney > 0f && "CHRIS R: If you see this assert, IMMEDIATELY book two first class seats for Monaco in my name" );
    }
}

I was going to complain, but then I realized CIG would use a float for money.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:13

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Mr.Tophat posted:

I should write a play about two con artists who are trying to come up with a game that'll bomb on release so they can use kickstarter money for their own hedonism. When they're trying to come up with a game idea they look through various scripts and at one point pick up Squadron 42 and remark, "It's perfect...but this is only a two hour play! We don't have two weeks!" and then toss it to one side.

�Star Citizen� is the plot of �The Producers.�

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:19

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:43

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

Tank Boy Ken posted:

You're wrong!

code:

// Determines which actor is at fault for a collision
// returns true if actor a is at fault, false if actor b is at fault
bool IsBlame(entityActor a, entityActor b)
{
	if(a.name.equals("Sandi Gardiner")) {
		return false;
	}
	if(b.name.equals("Sandi Gardiner")) {
		return true;
	}
	return (bool) "Mark Hamill";
}

First time Mark Hamill has been cast as anything other than an ace pilot.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:23

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