Just read this comment on a recipe for pickled eggs on youtube

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Just read this comment on a recipe for pickled eggs on youtube

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Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Maya Fey posted:

This is not a loving joke or a god drat game. I ate 3 boxes of "Fiber one bars" as my exclusive food due to extreme laziness in the last 2 days and I cannot even understand how much I am loving farting. This is beyond insanity, and I am NOT exaggerating. I am farting at least 2 loud boisterous farts out of my rear end per 1 minute. I have been farting incessantly for the last 18 hours. I want to die, it's like I'm inhaling through my mouth and exhaling through my rear end. Continuous loud yelling moans are destroying my rear end in a top hat.

I know this is a bold claim, but if you don't believe it, try it yourself - you will regret. This is worse than the time I ate an entire box of sugar free cookies.

record yourself and sell as fetish video

# ? Jan 31, 2018 23:36

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# ? May 25, 2024 22:39

Genderfluent: Jul 15, 2015

Aw yea! I can see it now! A jar of them and a 12 pack of Schlitz an I guarantee you that sulfer smell WILL be back and I'll be sleepin in da garage!😅

# ? Jan 31, 2018 23:39

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

lol if you don't casually eat 20 pickled eggs and drink a 12 pack or more every day just lol

# ? Jan 31, 2018 23:42

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I only eat pickled pigs feet. All day every day

# ? Jan 31, 2018 23:43

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Eggcellent. :hehe:

# ? Jan 31, 2018 23:46

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

Maya Fey posted:

This is not a loving joke or a god drat game. I ate 3 boxes of "Fiber one bars" as my exclusive food due to extreme laziness in the last 2 days and I cannot even understand how much I am loving farting. This is beyond insanity, and I am NOT exaggerating. I am farting at least 2 loud boisterous farts out of my rear end per 1 minute. I have been farting incessantly for the last 18 hours. I want to die, it's like I'm inhaling through my mouth and exhaling through my rear end. Continuous loud yelling moans are destroying my rear end in a top hat.

I know this is a bold claim, but if you don't believe it, try it yourself - you will regret. This is worse than the time I ate an entire box of sugar free cookies.

lol

# ? Feb 1, 2018 02:01

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Always save one egg. This is the "plug" after consuming the rest of the eggs insert the plug into your butt.
This will hold in the farts.
When ready you can drive to the woods or other 'safe' zone and release the plug.

# ? Feb 1, 2018 02:15

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Hell Yeah posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR77JU-VVMY

why did this also show up on my YT homepage yesterday

spooky

# ? Feb 1, 2018 02:18

artichoke: Sep 29, 2003; delirium tremens and caffeine; Gravy Boat 2k

Maya Fey posted:

This is not a loving joke or a god drat game. I ate 3 boxes of "Fiber one bars" as my exclusive food due to extreme laziness in the last 2 days and I cannot even understand how much I am loving farting. This is beyond insanity, and I am NOT exaggerating. I am farting at least 2 loud boisterous farts out of my rear end per 1 minute. I have been farting incessantly for the last 18 hours. I want to die, it's like I'm inhaling through my mouth and exhaling through my rear end. Continuous loud yelling moans are destroying my rear end in a top hat.

I know this is a bold claim, but if you don't believe it, try it yourself - you will regret. This is worse than the time I ate an entire box of sugar free cookies.

i'm crying

why does fart humor never get old?

# ? Feb 1, 2018 03:05

WatermelonGun: May 7, 2009

Pickled and preserved stank things are what�s good in life.

Canned pickled fermented cpf lifestyle

# ? Feb 1, 2018 03:29

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

My rule is 1 beer/1 pink pickled egg. You'd think like six of this ratio and I'd be out for the count. However, I've been doing this for years, practicing, eating, farting. I'm up to 14. I'm not proud, I'm thirsty and hungry for the eggs. God save my soul.

# ? Feb 1, 2018 03:33

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

i ate 3 of your eggs before bed and farted under the covers during the night. my wife convulsed in her sleep and did not wake up this morning.

# ? Feb 1, 2018 04:15

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN posted:

i ate 3 of your eggs before bed and farted under the covers during the night. my wife convulsed in her sleep and did not wake up this morning.

teach me your fart ways

# ? Feb 1, 2018 04:22

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

These eggs are the BEST !!!! New Year's eve - 3 quarts of these eggs, 4 cases of beer, chips and cheese. It doesn't get any better.

# ? Feb 1, 2018 04:28

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

Maya Fey posted:

This is not a loving joke or a god drat game. I ate 3 boxes of "Fiber one bars" as my exclusive food due to extreme laziness in the last 2 days and I cannot even understand how much I am loving farting. This is beyond insanity, and I am NOT exaggerating. I am farting at least 2 loud boisterous farts out of my rear end per 1 minute. I have been farting incessantly for the last 18 hours. I want to die, it's like I'm inhaling through my mouth and exhaling through my rear end. Continuous loud yelling moans are destroying my rear end in a top hat.

I know this is a bold claim, but if you don't believe it, try it yourself - you will regret. This is worse than the time I ate an entire box of sugar free cookies.

You are going to be making GBS threads a brick soon if you haven't already.

Also picked eggs/beet eggs are great and pretty much the only way I'll eat a hard boiled egg.

# ? Feb 1, 2018 05:45

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Horse ate your eggs? Sounds fun. So the cloud of "wavy" horse gas had some good hang time? I'd take a shower with Lye soap after that ordeal. I bet your were on the floor busting a gut when your wife got a big whiff. Ha...Ha...Ha... Reminds me of the Mr. Ed show !!!!

# ? Feb 1, 2018 05:50

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

could guy fieri make a pickled egg so spicy even smash mouth couldn't eat it????

# ? Feb 1, 2018 06:16

HUG ME FOREVER: Dec 6, 2006; Gay for TF2!

He ain't called Smashmouth for nothin

# ? Feb 1, 2018 06:30

Arrhythmia: Jul 22, 2011

numberoneposter posted:

could guy fieri make a pickled egg so spicy even smash mouth couldn't eat it????

Yes guy fieri can make a regular rear end hard boiled egg for smash mouth the loving moron

# ? Feb 1, 2018 06:30

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

frankie farter feasted on a fuckton of pickled eggs
on a fuckton of pickled eggs frankie farter feasted
if frankie farter feasted on a fuckton of pickled eggs
how many farts would frankie farter fart?

# ? Feb 1, 2018 14:23

Mr. Clark2: Sep 17, 2003; Rocco sez: Oh man, what a bummer. Woof.

thinking bout thos eggs

# ? Feb 2, 2018 22:45

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

poo poo is real yall

# ? Feb 3, 2018 21:34

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

You can't trust an egg

# ? Feb 3, 2018 21:37

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

poverty goat posted:

poo poo is real yall

i made these too. they're pretty good. a little salty for me.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 21:42

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Hell Yeah posted:

i made these too. they're pretty good. a little salty for me.

but how were the farts

# ? Feb 3, 2018 21:57

Maldoror: Oct 5, 2003; by R. Guyovich; Nap Ghost

Hey guys, been a long time since I got around to postin, but I've had a TON of farts to smell and only one nose to smell em with. Everyone in the office elected me to go get them coffee today. I just got back from the Starbucks down the street with two armfuls of coffee carriers, only I made a *little* stop along the way. See I've been waiting for this chance for the longest time, and today it paid off. In an alleyway I ducked into on the way back, I put a fiber capsule into each cup. So, in about one or two hours I'll be treated to a literal buffet of farts! Right now I'm flushing my smellers out with nasal spray just so it's in tip-top form when everyone starts "making change" for my contribution.

I'll keep ya posted!

# ? Feb 3, 2018 22:03

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7GvFgeVNos

# ? Feb 3, 2018 22:18

Sapper: Mar 8, 2003; Dinosaur Gum

Maya Fey posted:

I ate 3 boxes of "Fiber one bars" as my exclusive food due to extreme laziness in the last 2 days and I cannot even understand how much I am loving farting.

When I was a kid, maybe 10, I ate a dry package of Lipton 'French Onion Soup'. I was a weird kid, and dry soup mix was perfect "grab and go". But we were out of the usual 'Spring Vegetable.' I thought nothing of it...until my guts started rumbling. Within an hour or two, I was farting--a sharp 'crack!' like a .22 rifle--every minute, like clockwork. No big deal, it was Saturday, and they didn't really smell. All sound and fury. But my mother dragged me to church that evening. I begged her to sit up in the (usually empty) choir loft, at least. To my horror, there were already people up there in one of the two pews--an older girl that I had a huge crush on, and her gorgeous friend! Worst of all, the hard wooden pews did nothing to muffle the whipcracks erupting from between my cheeks.

I tried shifting. I tried squeezing. Nothing worked. Eventually, my mother batted me across the head and whispered, "For God's sake, go out to the vestibule!" So I made my way downstairs, trailing sad little toots the whole way. I milled around the empty vestibule for a while, reading the announcements and undoubtedly contaminating the holy water, until at last, I felt like the tank was empty. The tempest in my guts had calmed. I made my way back to my seat just in time for consecration of the Eucharist. Mass was almost over, and I was gonna make it.

Until we had to kneel. The shifting and straightening must have opened some pipes, allowing un-fermented soup powder to react with gastric juices and produce its horrifying product. I was trapped; my butt was aimed directly at the pew, a hard, angled surface perfectly constructed to ricochet the sound waves upward and outward at the high, open ceiling.

The church was silent as the priest performed the ritual of the Eucharist.

I could feel the pressure mounting. I swore I could hear bubbling. A spasm of pain gripped my gut. I squeezed. I shifted. I prayed, more fervently than I'd ever prayed before. But I knew it was futile. In sheer agony, I squeezed as tight as I could, and held. I closed my eyes and prayed.

Just as Father Lawrence raised the oversized host up and proclaimed, "The Body of Christ", it happened. An explosion--a long, drawn out, chuffing, cracking fart that sounded like an MG42 opening up. It seemed to drag on for hours. And it echoed. It was a huge old stone-walled church, and it echoed. Fr. Lawrence's eyes went wide in surprise, and muffled laughter erupted in various places in the congregation. Mothers were swatting their children, who were rolling with laughter. Old ladies looked at each other in disgust. Men's shoulders shook as they tried to contain their laughter. I put my head down on my folded forearms and sobbed with embarrassed laughter.

My mother whacked me on the back of the head so hard, I saw stars.

It would be more than two decades before I'd eat French Onion soup again. And never dry. Never.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 22:20

buddhanc: Feb 16, 2010

Jesus im howling and crying

# ? Feb 3, 2018 22:24

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

Sapper posted:

When I was a kid, maybe 10, I ate a dry package of Lipton 'French Onion Soup'. I was a weird kid, and dry soup mix was perfect "grab and go". But we were out of the usual 'Spring Vegetable.' I thought nothing of it...until my guts started rumbling. Within an hour or two, I was farting--a sharp 'crack!' like a .22 rifle--every minute, like clockwork. No big deal, it was Saturday, and they didn't really smell. All sound and fury. But my mother dragged me to church that evening. I begged her to sit up in the (usually empty) choir loft, at least. To my horror, there were already people up there in one of the two pews--an older girl that I had a huge crush on, and her gorgeous friend! Worst of all, the hard wooden pews did nothing to muffle the whipcracks erupting from between my cheeks.

I tried shifting. I tried squeezing. Nothing worked. Eventually, my mother batted me across the head and whispered, "For God's sake, go out to the vestibule!" So I made my way downstairs, trailing sad little toots the whole way. I milled around the empty vestibule for a while, reading the announcements and undoubtedly contaminating the holy water, until at last, I felt like the tank was empty. The tempest in my guts had calmed. I made my way back to my seat just in time for consecration of the Eucharist. Mass was almost over, and I was gonna make it.

Until we had to kneel. The shifting and straightening must have opened some pipes, allowing un-fermented soup powder to react with gastric juices and produce its horrifying product. I was trapped; my butt was aimed directly at the pew, a hard, angled surface perfectly constructed to ricochet the sound waves upward and outward at the high, open ceiling.

The church was silent as the priest performed the ritual of the Eucharist.

I could feel the pressure mounting. I swore I could hear bubbling. A spasm of pain gripped my gut. I squeezed. I shifted. I prayed, more fervently than I'd ever prayed before. But I knew it was futile. In sheer agony, I squeezed as tight as I could, and held. I closed my eyes and prayed.

Just as Father Lawrence raised the oversized host up and proclaimed, "The Body of Christ", it happened. An explosion--a long, drawn out, chuffing, cracking fart that sounded like an MG42 opening up. It seemed to drag on for hours. And it echoed. It was a huge old stone-walled church, and it echoed. Fr. Lawrence's eyes went wide in surprise, and muffled laughter erupted in various places in the congregation. Mothers were swatting their children, who were rolling with laughter. Old ladies looked at each other in disgust. Men's shoulders shook as they tried to contain their laughter. I put my head down on my folded forearms and sobbed with embarrassed laughter.

My mother whacked me on the back of the head so hard, I saw stars.

It would be more than two decades before I'd eat French Onion soup again. And never dry. Never.

lmao

# ? Feb 4, 2018 00:20

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

Things are getting serious

https://tinyurl.com/y9ogtdfd

# ? Feb 4, 2018 00:34

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Kak posted:

Things are getting serious

https://tinyurl.com/y9ogtdfd

# ? Feb 4, 2018 00:38

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

i'm definitely making a big batch of these bad boys.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 01:14

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

One of my favorite childhood memories is drinkin beers and slammin down some pickled eggs and saltines with my old man. Well I drank root beer while he drank the real beers because I was like 6 but you get the idea. Sometimes he would wash out an empty Coors Light can and pour my root beer inside so I could look cool :cool:

# ? Feb 4, 2018 01:14

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

Sapper posted:

When I was a kid, maybe 10, I ate a dry package of Lipton 'French Onion Soup'. I was a weird kid, and dry soup mix was perfect "grab and go". But we were out of the usual 'Spring Vegetable.' I thought nothing of it...until my guts started rumbling. Within an hour or two, I was farting--a sharp 'crack!' like a .22 rifle--every minute, like clockwork. No big deal, it was Saturday, and they didn't really smell. All sound and fury. But my mother dragged me to church that evening. I begged her to sit up in the (usually empty) choir loft, at least. To my horror, there were already people up there in one of the two pews--an older girl that I had a huge crush on, and her gorgeous friend! Worst of all, the hard wooden pews did nothing to muffle the whipcracks erupting from between my cheeks.

I tried shifting. I tried squeezing. Nothing worked. Eventually, my mother batted me across the head and whispered, "For God's sake, go out to the vestibule!" So I made my way downstairs, trailing sad little toots the whole way. I milled around the empty vestibule for a while, reading the announcements and undoubtedly contaminating the holy water, until at last, I felt like the tank was empty. The tempest in my guts had calmed. I made my way back to my seat just in time for consecration of the Eucharist. Mass was almost over, and I was gonna make it.

Until we had to kneel. The shifting and straightening must have opened some pipes, allowing un-fermented soup powder to react with gastric juices and produce its horrifying product. I was trapped; my butt was aimed directly at the pew, a hard, angled surface perfectly constructed to ricochet the sound waves upward and outward at the high, open ceiling.

The church was silent as the priest performed the ritual of the Eucharist.

I could feel the pressure mounting. I swore I could hear bubbling. A spasm of pain gripped my gut. I squeezed. I shifted. I prayed, more fervently than I'd ever prayed before. But I knew it was futile. In sheer agony, I squeezed as tight as I could, and held. I closed my eyes and prayed.

Just as Father Lawrence raised the oversized host up and proclaimed, "The Body of Christ", it happened. An explosion--a long, drawn out, chuffing, cracking fart that sounded like an MG42 opening up. It seemed to drag on for hours. And it echoed. It was a huge old stone-walled church, and it echoed. Fr. Lawrence's eyes went wide in surprise, and muffled laughter erupted in various places in the congregation. Mothers were swatting their children, who were rolling with laughter. Old ladies looked at each other in disgust. Men's shoulders shook as they tried to contain their laughter. I put my head down on my folded forearms and sobbed with embarrassed laughter.

My mother whacked me on the back of the head so hard, I saw stars.

It would be more than two decades before I'd eat French Onion soup again. And never dry. Never.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 02:27

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Makin those eggs right now.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 07:17

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

I have modified the recipe.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 08:05

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

It looks like poo poo water but its balsamic and malt and white vinegars mixed up.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 08:14

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

redacted

numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 08:49 on Feb 4, 2018

# ? Feb 4, 2018 08:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 22:39

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

but maybe if it looks like farts it will make good farts

only 4 days in my cupboard will tell

# ? Feb 4, 2018 08:47

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Just read this comment on a recipe for pickled eggs on youtube

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