/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

The golden children of these families seemingly always turn out to be useless, spoilt brats who were never prepared for the real world, if it helps.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 04:32

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# ? May 30, 2024 01:25

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

When 4/5 of them go no contact and don't let the parents or sister see their grandkids/niece I think things will work out fine.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 04:37

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

"BUT I GOT GOLD, I'M A WINNER"
"That's nice, I'm sure your three month old niece gives the slightest poo poo about that"

# ? Feb 4, 2018 04:52

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Didn't we have a similar post here once?

My [21F] parents [50sF/M] took down all the trophies in the house except for my sister's [22F]

[UPDATE] My [21F] parents [50sF/M] took down all the trophies in the house except for my sister's [22F]

Stop talking to your poo poo sister and parents

# ? Feb 4, 2018 04:57

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

ArbitraryC posted:

When 4/5 of them go no contact and don't let the parents or sister see their grandkids/niece I think things will work out fine.

That would be a nice update to read.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 05:05

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I hope we get a post like "My (25/f) siblings (20s m/f) are really angry our parents threw away their trophies, how can I get them to stop being so selfish and understand that their trophies were worthless participation badges?"

# ? Feb 4, 2018 13:38

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Inescapable Duck posted:

The golden children of these families seemingly always turn out to be useless, spoilt brats who were never prepared for the real world, if it helps.

I mean, they got babied their whole life, it�s like inevitable they turned into useless shits.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Last time I saw my in-laws was when my daughter was born. Specifically, it was the last time I saw the back of their heads because security was escorting them out of the hospital. I will never again achieve that level of satisfaction.

Ohhhhhhh baby! Tell me more :allears:

# ? Feb 4, 2018 14:05

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

LadyPictureShow posted:

Ohhhhhhh baby! Tell me more

Seconding this :munch:

I love happy endings.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 14:56

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

LadyPictureShow posted:

I mean, they got babied their whole life, it�s like inevitable they turned into useless shits.

They literally called her Bebe.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Feb 4, 2018

# ? Feb 4, 2018 15:03

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Gorilla Salad posted:

They literally called her Bebe.

I think that's a pseudonym for reddit... :ssh:

# ? Feb 4, 2018 16:47

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

If that one brother is such a talented wrestler, he should Stone Cold Stunner the sister and parents

# ? Feb 4, 2018 16:56

Heavy neutrino: Sep 16, 2007; You made a fine post for yourself. ...For a casualry, I suppose.

Boyfriend [30M] of one month got really drunk and what I [24F] saw scared me. Do I run after this giant red flag of a night?

quote:

This past evening, my boyfriend decided to have a few drinks after a tough day at work. We have been dating for about a month now and I thought things have been amazing thus far! He just made reservations at a super fancy restaurant for us for Valentine�s Day coming up, the works. But tonight what I witnessed was absolutely shocking.

I was three shots in and he had gone through almost an entire bottle in under an hour. He became belligerent, switching topics of discussion rapidly and telling me stories that were clearly made up. He was also being really loud and obnoxious, to the point where I became worried other tenants in his apartment might call the police.

The worst part of the evening was expressing to him that I was very uncomfortable but didn�t feel safe driving myself home, could he please settle down. He threw a pack of his cigarettes at me rather aggressively and started in on a lecture about being cheated on in the past and how I have no idea what love is because I am younger than him. I was crying pretty hard at one point but he wouldn�t stop.

Of course then he switched to being giggly and obnoxious again, dancing around by himself to loud music for an hour or two until finally passing out.

He said some pretty inappropriate things and the throwing of the cigarettes really freaked me out. This was not the guy I�ve been going on incredible dates with and sleeping over with the past month. Should I see my way out or just write the night off as him not being able to handle his alcohol very well?

TL;DR Boyfriend got incredibly drunk, became aggressive and annoying, threw something at me during. I have never seen that side of him and really scared that is what I am in for if I stick around. To bail or not to bail? Anyone have any similar experiences with a partner or ex?

Is this a red flag, I ask, in-between swatting away objects thrown at me by my boyfriend who couldn't go one month without getting piss drunk in front of me.

Does he simply not handle alcohol well, I wonder, as he passes out bent over the couch, finally giving the poor neighbors some time to sleep.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 17:54

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Heavy neutrino posted:

Boyfriend [30M] of one month got really drunk and what I [24F] saw scared me. Do I run after this giant red flag of a night?

Is this a red flag, I ask, in-between swatting away objects thrown at me by my boyfriend who couldn't go one month without getting piss drunk in front of me.

Does he simply not handle alcohol well, I wonder, as he passes out bent over the couch, finally giving the poor neighbors some time to sleep.

Just make sure to roll him over to his back before you leave. A lot of future women won't know, but they'll have you to thank.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 17:58

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Heavy neutrino posted:

Boyfriend [30M] of one month got really drunk and what I [24F] saw scared me. Do I run after this giant red flag of a night?

Is this a red flag, I ask, in-between swatting away objects thrown at me by my boyfriend who couldn't go one month without getting piss drunk in front of me.

Does he simply not handle alcohol well, I wonder, as he passes out bent over the couch, finally giving the poor neighbors some time to sleep.

Yes, this is certainly a noodle-scratcher. But I�d say wait it out until he upgrades to chucking plates at you.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 18:01

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Just make sure to roll him over to his back before you leave. A lot of future women won't know, but they'll have you to thank.

See, this is what I was talking about. You keep making jokes where people have to know poo poo like �recovery position.� These are not dumb jokes!

# ? Feb 4, 2018 18:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Avenging_Mikon posted:

See, this is what I was talking about. You keep making jokes where people have to know poo poo like �recovery position.� These are not dumb jokes!

I was just making a Breaking Bad reference, I don't know nothin' 'bout no recovery positions!

# ? Feb 4, 2018 18:35

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/960206159146835968

# ? Feb 4, 2018 19:43

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 4, 2018 20:21

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Lonely Virgil posted:

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/960206159146835968

I swear there was an It's Always Sunny episode like this

# ? Feb 4, 2018 20:22

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Boyfriend keeps elbowing jukeboxes but it doesn't fix them it just breaks them further.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 20:27

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My [23F] boyfriend [23M] of 4 years broke up with me because I peed outside.

Hi guys, this isn�t a troll account so please don�t think so, I know it�s extremely odd but I�m really counting on some advice considering I have no one irl that I can really talk to.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, and were planning on moving in together soon and even talked about marriage. A few nights ago, we were sitting in his car which was parked halfway between a busy street and just a little ways into the woods. I have had bladder problems my whole life and I won�t get into it because I am healthy, but when I first feel the urge to use the bathroom, I can�t hold it for very long and it become extremely urgent very quickly. My boyfriend knows of this.

We had been sitting in his car for two hours already, listening to music and talking and making out you know, the usual. I began to feel like I needed to use the bathroom so I mentioned it to him and asked if we could leave soon to find somewhere to go. He got annoyed at this idea and wanted to wait until rush hour had passed so we didn�t get stuck in traffic. I agreed at the time and dropped the subject. Throughout the next hour I continued to mention that we should really leave soon because my bladder was starting to become too full and I was nearing pain. Each time he shot the idea down with another excuse and continued to fiddle with his phone and listened to music.

Finally after another hour and a half I said �if we don�t leave to find a bathroom right now, I�m going to have to go outside or I�ll wet myself�. I don�t think he thought I was being serious because he just shrugged it off, until I got out of his car. I planned on going further into the woods to hide myself a little better from the main street, but I was in an immense about of pain and couldn�t hold it for that long to walk that far. I ended up peeing right by his truck with tears rolling down my cheeks from pain and embarrassment- it was the worst moment ever and I hated that I had to resort to that but I had no choice.

When I got back in the car, my boyfriend was furious. Now he was all ready to take me home, drove like a maniac and didn�t talk to me even when he dropped me off. Later that night I received a text that said, �I really don�t think this is going to work out. I cant be with someone who is willing to show themselves and pee outside to a whole busy road of cars and not care. I thought I was dating a lady not someone who can�t hold it in for a little while. Im disgusted and Im sorry I have to do this�

My heart was broken. I tried to explain to him the obvious; I mentioned I had to pee, asked if we could leave, earned him that I would need to pee outside so I wouldn�t pee in his car, AND he knows I have a bladder problem and can�t hold on for that long. I don�t know what to do, we had been together for 4 years and something like this is a dealbreaker? I don�t get it? I�m shocked and hurt and embarrassed that this has happened. I don�t know what I can say to make this situation better.

TL;DR: boyfriend of 4 years and I were sitting in his car for hours, and I have a bladder condition that makes it difficult to hold it. He didn�t want to leave to find a bathroom so I had to pee outside, which he thought was disgusting and has broken up with me. I don�t understand how this is a deal breaker

# ? Feb 4, 2018 20:56

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

And that boyfriend was R Kelly

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:00

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [23F] boyfriend [23M] of 4 years broke up with me because I peed outside.

Hi guys, this isn�t a troll account so please don�t think so, I know it�s extremely odd but I�m really counting on some advice considering I have no one irl that I can really talk to.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, and were planning on moving in together soon and even talked about marriage. A few nights ago, we were sitting in his car which was parked halfway between a busy street and just a little ways into the woods. I have had bladder problems my whole life and I won�t get into it because I am healthy, but when I first feel the urge to use the bathroom, I can�t hold it for very long and it become extremely urgent very quickly. My boyfriend knows of this.

We had been sitting in his car for two hours already, listening to music and talking and making out you know, the usual. I began to feel like I needed to use the bathroom so I mentioned it to him and asked if we could leave soon to find somewhere to go. He got annoyed at this idea and wanted to wait until rush hour had passed so we didn�t get stuck in traffic. I agreed at the time and dropped the subject. Throughout the next hour I continued to mention that we should really leave soon because my bladder was starting to become too full and I was nearing pain. Each time he shot the idea down with another excuse and continued to fiddle with his phone and listened to music.

Finally after another hour and a half I said �if we don�t leave to find a bathroom right now, I�m going to have to go outside or I�ll wet myself�. I don�t think he thought I was being serious because he just shrugged it off, until I got out of his car. I planned on going further into the woods to hide myself a little better from the main street, but I was in an immense about of pain and couldn�t hold it for that long to walk that far. I ended up peeing right by his truck with tears rolling down my cheeks from pain and embarrassment- it was the worst moment ever and I hated that I had to resort to that but I had no choice.

When I got back in the car, my boyfriend was furious. Now he was all ready to take me home, drove like a maniac and didn�t talk to me even when he dropped me off. Later that night I received a text that said, �I really don�t think this is going to work out. I cant be with someone who is willing to show themselves and pee outside to a whole busy road of cars and not care. I thought I was dating a lady not someone who can�t hold it in for a little while. Im disgusted and Im sorry I have to do this�

My heart was broken. I tried to explain to him the obvious; I mentioned I had to pee, asked if we could leave, earned him that I would need to pee outside so I wouldn�t pee in his car, AND he knows I have a bladder problem and can�t hold on for that long. I don�t know what to do, we had been together for 4 years and something like this is a dealbreaker? I don�t get it? I�m shocked and hurt and embarrassed that this has happened. I don�t know what I can say to make this situation better.

TL;DR: boyfriend of 4 years and I were sitting in his car for hours, and I have a bladder condition that makes it difficult to hold it. He didn�t want to leave to find a bathroom so I had to pee outside, which he thought was disgusting and has broken up with me. I don�t understand how this is a deal breaker

"Thought I was datin' a lady not a human that has to pee!!!!" :freep:

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:01

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Sounds like she rid her self of two human waste products in one go. A good story.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:28

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

I [29F] feel let down by my husband's [33M] contributions during my pregnancy and labor, and now with the raising of our children [1wk/M&F]

quote:

My husband and I have been married a year and a half, and I recently gave birth to our twins. They're a week old right now, and I'm just boiling with anger. I thought that my husband was good during my pregnancy, but there were things I wish I could've changed. My husband and I both work office jobs, but I would do a lot of the cooking and cleaning because my husband would say he was too tired after work. Even in the last few weeks, I was still cooking and cleaning. He'd insist that I had to do the baby shopping because it "wasn't for the fathers." Sure, he'd assemble the furniture and do the grocery shopping, but I felt like nothing had changed since I'd become pregnant. I wasn't helpless, but things had changed, and I felt that it would be nice for him to just do a little bit more. I tried to talk to him about it, and he kept saying that he was working full days too, I was doing fine without him doing all the chores. And I figured that was give and take.

I gave birth last Sunday, and I'm still mad. My contractions started after dinner, and when I told him, he said they were probably false. They weren't. I told him as much, and he said we should just go to bed. So, we did. I woke him up after about an hour, saying the pain was a lot worse, contractions were coming closer, and I thought we needed to go. He said I was being paranoid, and labor lasts longer than most women think it does. I was still stressed but I decided to have faith, so I puttered around the house until I got him up a half hour later. He said he'd take me to the hospital, but they'd just send us home. I ended up delivering my children in the hospital parking lot. He's been touting the story as some funny story, always making me look like the idiot. His version is that I didn't tell him about my contractions because I thought they were false labor, then I woke him up in a panic and couldn't find the go bag. I'm beyond incensed. If it had taken even 15 minutes longer, my babies would've been born on the highway. I was insanely lucky he had the sense to run inside and try to get some help. I was preparing myself to give birth by myself in the back of our car, without any medical professionals around, all because he didn't listen to me. I tried talking to him about it, and he said he's a new dad and it's not his fault.

His contributions with the twins have been bare minimum. I breastfeed, so feedings aren't really his thing, but he tries to do diapers. Except, he sucks at them and doesn't try to do anything better (he stuck the sticky strap thing to our son's stomach, not even on the diaper, then said it just "doesn't come naturally") so I have to redo them all. Sure, he brings me food and has started to cook more, but I feel like it's too little too late. I just feel so mad. He was never this inattentive before we decided together (I know people here love to accuse women of forcing their husbands into having kids; he was the one who brought it up the first time and has pushed for us to have a huge family) to have children. I feel ashamed for bringing my kids into this family, but I feel like my anger is mostly hormonal. Am I overreacting? What even do I say to him?

TL;DR: My husband has done the bare minimum through my pregnancy and the raising of our children, and I feel disappointed with how he acted during my labor.

Murder. The answer is murder this sentient bad commercial dad.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:28

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Admiral Ray posted:

"Thought I was datin' a lady not a human that has to pee!!!!"

Pffffffft Real ladies don�t have bodily functions.

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [29F] feel let down by my husband's [33M] contributions during my pregnancy and labor, and now with the raising of our children [1wk/M&F]

Murder. The answer is murder this sentient bad commercial dad.

Murder this motherfucker.

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Feb 4, 2018

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:30

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [23F] boyfriend [23M] of 4 years broke up with me because I peed outside.

Hi guys, this isn’t a troll account so please don’t think so, I know it’s extremely odd but I’m really counting on some advice considering I have no one irl that I can really talk to.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, and were planning on moving in together soon and even talked about marriage. A few nights ago, we were sitting in his car which was parked halfway between a busy street and just a little ways into the woods. I have had bladder problems my whole life and I won’t get into it because I am healthy, but when I first feel the urge to use the bathroom, I can’t hold it for very long and it become extremely urgent very quickly. My boyfriend knows of this.

We had been sitting in his car for two hours already, listening to music and talking and making out you know, the usual. I began to feel like I needed to use the bathroom so I mentioned it to him and asked if we could leave soon to find somewhere to go. He got annoyed at this idea and wanted to wait until rush hour had passed so we didn’t get stuck in traffic. I agreed at the time and dropped the subject. Throughout the next hour I continued to mention that we should really leave soon because my bladder was starting to become too full and I was nearing pain. Each time he shot the idea down with another excuse and continued to fiddle with his phone and listened to music.

Finally after another hour and a half I said “if we don’t leave to find a bathroom right now, I’m going to have to go outside or I’ll wet myself”. I don’t think he thought I was being serious because he just shrugged it off, until I got out of his car. I planned on going further into the woods to hide myself a little better from the main street, but I was in an immense about of pain and couldn’t hold it for that long to walk that far. I ended up peeing right by his truck with tears rolling down my cheeks from pain and embarrassment- it was the worst moment ever and I hated that I had to resort to that but I had no choice.

When I got back in the car, my boyfriend was furious. Now he was all ready to take me home, drove like a maniac and didn’t talk to me even when he dropped me off. Later that night I received a text that said, “I really don’t think this is going to work out. I cant be with someone who is willing to show themselves and pee outside to a whole busy road of cars and not care. I thought I was dating a lady not someone who can’t hold it in for a little while. Im disgusted and Im sorry I have to do this”

My heart was broken. I tried to explain to him the obvious; I mentioned I had to pee, asked if we could leave, earned him that I would need to pee outside so I wouldn’t pee in his car, AND he knows I have a bladder problem and can’t hold on for that long. I don’t know what to do, we had been together for 4 years and something like this is a dealbreaker? I don’t get it? I’m shocked and hurt and embarrassed that this has happened. I don’t know what I can say to make this situation better.

TL;DR: boyfriend of 4 years and I were sitting in his car for hours, and I have a bladder condition that makes it difficult to hold it. He didn’t want to leave to find a bathroom so I had to pee outside, which he thought was disgusting and has broken up with me. I don’t understand how this is a deal breaker

What does she need advice for? The relationship is already over so she can't break up with him again.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:33

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

LadyPictureShow posted:

Murder this motherfucker.

Dead men don't pay child support. I guess murder is ok if you don't get caught and he has a lot of life insurance.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 21:35

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My (20f) boyfriend (21m) has a really weird fetish...

quote:

I found out my bf has a REALLY loving wierd sexual fetish...i have NO interest in this fetish, its completely bizarre. He spends all his time looking at pictures on fetish sites of this fetish (it's a imaginary thing, it doesnt even exist in real life so the only porn is peoples drawings)

Ever since I found out i've been sortof really turned off?? Like I'm just like switched off sexually, I haven't wanted to have sex since then. I just think of this fake thing he's turned on by and it feels so weird how is he into me but also into THAT?

Hes also tried to "pretend" about the fetish in bed but I'm SOOOOO not into it. I didnt realize at the time thats what he was doing I only figured out now after discovering he has it

My bf is otherwise GREAT. Should i talk to him that i'm losing my sex drive from it? Anyone know how to reduce a fetish fixation?

tl;dr I found out my boyfriend has a creepy imaginary fetish/fantasy. I haven't felt in the mood for sex since then bc anything sexual just reminds me of it

What's the fetish?

Haha i should have known people would want to know. It's something called vore, and with characters like dragons and dinosaurs.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 22:02

Barudak: May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (20f) boyfriend (21m) has a really weird fetish...

What's the fetish?

Haha i should have known people would want to know. It's something called vore, and with characters like dragons and dinosaurs.

I don't know why he isn't rock hard all the time, his fetish is clearly eating at her

# ? Feb 4, 2018 22:10

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

when your girl starts to cry at your gross stimuli, that's a-vor�

# ? Feb 4, 2018 22:21

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Barudak posted:

I don't know why he isn't rock hard all the time, his fetish is clearly eating at her

Yeah she clearly needs to express her full-throated objection.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 22:24

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

therobit posted:

What does she need advice for? The relationship is already over so she can't break up with him again.

we have so many stories like this I sort of wonder if it's a fetish

# ? Feb 4, 2018 22:27

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Jeza posted:

when your girl starts to cry at your gross stimuli, that's a-vor�

# ? Feb 4, 2018 22:31

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Jeza posted:

when your girl starts to cry at your gross stimuli, that's a-vor�

# ? Feb 4, 2018 23:09

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I'm more curious about how you're supposed to bring that into the bedroom in a way that isn't immediately obvious. She says that it's only after she learned this about him that she realized that that's what he'd been doing.

# ? Feb 4, 2018 23:12

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I'm more curious about how you're supposed to bring that into the bedroom in a way that isn't immediately obvious. She says that it's only after she learned this about him that she realized that that's what he'd been doing.

"I'm going to eat you all up *nom nom nom*"

# ? Feb 4, 2018 23:13