Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

Khorne: May 1, 2002

lazorexplosion posted:

Imagine being the guy buying bitcoin at 7600 on the same day it was valued as low as 5800. I swear to god, these people want to lose all their money.

You don't understand. John McAffee, a stand up guy who doesn't do drugs and who definitely isn't a few satoshi short of a full btc, said it will be worth $200k by the end of the year or he'll eat his dick. How can you pass up a bargain like that?

Khorne fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Feb 6, 2018

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:20

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 05:02

Rad Russian: Aug 15, 2007; Soviet Power Supreme!

Khorne posted:

You don't understand. John McAffee, a stand up guy who doesn't do drugs and who definitely isn't a few satoshi short of a full btc, said it will be worth $200k by the end of the year or he'll eat his dick. How can you pass up a bargain like that?

BTC is getting dog piled by a secret cabal of sexual cannibalism fetishists. That's why price has been going down against all promises of blockchain technology.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:28

VictorianQueerLit: Aug 25, 2017

Khorne posted:

You don't understand. John McAffee, a stand up guy who doesn't do drugs and who definitely isn't literally insane, said it will be worth $200k by the end of the year or he'll assuage his sausage. Whether you buy at $5800 or $7600 it's a bargain!

I saw someone last night upset that they lost $30,000 on Verge.

Verge was a random coin that was months/years behind on releasing whatever software update the verge shills were promising would revolutionize the world with no applications and no movement for an extremely long time.

But

What happened to it?

John McAffee chose it as his first "Coin of the Day" and the price went up 10x. The fact it went up 10x made it double after that. It took weeks for people to realize there was nothing there and that any subsequent "Coin of the Day" from McAffee was going nowhere because he was a retard nobody saying dumb poo poo. People like the guy I saw that lost $30,000 were going all in at like 20 cents. It's currently worth 4.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:30

Risc1911: Mar 1, 2016

VictorianQueerLit posted:

I saw someone last night upset that they lost $30,000 on Verge.

Verge was a random coin that was months/years behind on releasing whatever software update the verge shills were promising would revolutionize the world with no applications and no movement for an extremely long time.

But

What happened to it?

John McAffee chose it as his first "Coin of the Day" and the price went up 10x. The fact it went up 10x made it double after that. It took weeks for people to realize there was nothing there and that any subsequent "Coin of the Day" from McAffee was going nowhere because he was a retard nobody saying dumb poo poo. People like the guy I saw that lost $30,000 were going all in at like 20 cents. It's currently worth 4.

Pump & Dump. I bet McAffee made a buck or two of these suckers.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:39

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

This kind of poo poo is how you absolutely 100% know it's still in a bubble and is still irrationally overpriced by extremely dumb money.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:42

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

lazorexplosion posted:

This kind of poo poo is how you absolutely 100% know it's still in a bubble and is still irrationally overpriced by extremely dumb money.

It's good as hell.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:45

Devonaut: Jul 10, 2001; Devoted Astronaut

lazorexplosion posted:

This kind of poo poo is how you absolutely 100% know it's still in a bubble and is still irrationally overpriced by extremely dumb money.

which means there's easy money to be made!

# ? Feb 6, 2018 22:46

Minimalist Program: Aug 14, 2010

Bitcoin is going up and so is my rear end.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:03

90s Solo Cup: Feb 22, 2011; To understand the cup
He must become the cup

Minimalist Program posted:

Bitcoin is going up and so is my rear end.

Bitcoin is going up my rear end. Call me the living wallet.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:10

divabot: Jun 17, 2015; A polite little mouse!

Risc1911 posted:

Finding a way to actually convert this joke into FIAT and not getting ripped off by some fantasy coin exchange that some nerd runs from his basement was harder than most people realize.

If it hasnt left you with a permanent twitch, would you be up to writing up the harrowing process step by step for the enlightenment of the thread?

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:27

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Domestic Amuse posted:

Bitcoin is going up my rear end. Call me the living wallet.

How..... how do we do a withdrawal?

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:42

Computer Serf: May 14, 2005; Buglord

blockchain beans and dunning–krugerands wouldn't be so bad if it wernt for the insane lapse in judgement the general public makes whenever bitcoin or ethereum or iota or whatever cryptobullshit is being propagated to rubes

it's an opt in system, so if people wanna be bag holders of computer magic bullshit let them learn. but the waste this stuff is doing is really serious poo poo

props to divabot and Nathaniel Popper for doing actual informative reporting on cyberbeans

almost everyone of these tech journalists is clueless and repeats the same shallow marketing points never actually looking under the hood of the mythical computer magic money printing box from the mysterious satoshi

and then you have the cult advocates and swarms of twitter shills just screeching every chance they get while people who know enough to stay away have no incentive to argue with the cultists or propagate information otherwise omitted from the sales pitches

sounds like even the regulators are fine with protocol based pyramid schemes as long as it enshrouds the creation as a computer magic Crypto backed Math protocol

:discourse:

Uranium 235 posted:

CFTC chair on whether it's a commodity or security: it has properties of many different things. it's a medium of exchange, so like a currency, but a lot of problems with this since even bitcoin conferences have stopped accepting it as payment. when used as store of value, it's more like an asset and therefore a commodity. LOL he just said "h o d l" spelled it out like that and said his niece uses that term. he's talking about how that since people want to hold it, it acts like a commodity. highlights again going after fraudsters again so that people like his niece don't get taken advantage of

haha the CFTC chairman said "hodl" in a senate hearing

CFTC chairman's niece is indoctrinated into the HODL cult :kiddo:

Computer Serf fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Feb 7, 2018

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:42

Computer Serf: May 14, 2005; Buglord

someone made the reverse ponzi

https://etherhell.com/

etherhell dev posted:

Over the past few days I've been working to turn some of these ideas into a reality. Come take a look at the result at https://etherhell.com/.

The idea is roughly as follows. A pot is seeded with some amount of money, in this case 1 ETH, and a timer starts counting down from 24 hours. If you make a bid by contributing to the pot, you become the leader and the timer resets. When the timer finally runs out, the last bidder earns half the pot in winnings and a new round begins with the remaining half as initial funding. Due to the 50-50 split between the last round's prize and the next round's starting pot, this game is guaranteed to last for an extremely long time, since it's impossible for the pot to be drained all at once.

To keep things interesting, the timer shortens by 10 minutes for every ether in the pot, steadily hastening the pace of the game as the pot grows larger. There is a floor at 1 hour to prevent slow transaction times from being too much of a deciding factor. In addition, each bid must be at least 0.1% of the current pot, meaning the buy-in price will slowly creep upward as the scale of the reward increases.

My goal in designing this game was to come up with a rule set allowing for both longevity and accessibility. Individual rounds of the game will last for a while since the buy-in is initially quite cheap, and the game as a whole will last for as long as the Ethereum network is alive. If the pot eventually grows to a point where only the wealthy can participate, it will fall back down to a more affordable level after a few rounds of low activity and repeated halving, at which point broader interest will return. In this way, the game is capable of cyclic behavior and is naturally self-regulating.

Lastly, since so many great diabolical variations were proposed in the original threads, I've taken a proactive step to combat clones and support innovation. For each bid that comes in, 80% goes to the pot and the remaining 20% is put into a fund to support future community projects that put an interesting twist on the initial scheme I've proposed here. Unlike the recent influx of token-based pyramid schemes that anyone can create, a reverse Ponzi scheme grounded in Ethereum is only as interesting as its initial pot. If anyone has a new scheme that they'd like me to put together and host online, or if you've already developed your own version but require some seed funding, just get in touch with me and I'll see what I can do to help.

P.S. Since this account is only a few days old, I'm not yet able to create my own subreddit for extended discussion of these ideas. If anyone would like to assist in creating an /r/etherhell, I'd really appreciate it!

there's also this fancy looking one, which probably has a backdoor like the other ones

https://etherjack.io/

:dukedoge:

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:47

Risc1911: Mar 1, 2016

divabot posted:

If it hasnt left you with a permanent twitch, would you be up to writing up the harrowing process step by step for the enlightenment of the thread?

Sure, i list the points and my reasoning.

1. Find a dozen or more "exchanges" on the internet. Google and Reddit are your friend.
R: You want a good base to start before eliminating the chaff.

2. Eliminate all that are not in your country of residence.
R: You want to make sure you can send the cops or a couple of friends with baseball bats to break their legs in case they do scam you.

3. Check company registers and verify the address and phone numbers. This can be a lengthy process and involve you making a lot of phone calls. Yes, call the neighbors and ask if there is a company next door. If they tell you they don't know who lives there and they only see the pizza delivery bring 2 large pepperoni and a mountain dew every day, eliminate.
R: As in #2, make sure you have them by the balls in case this goes tits up.

4: At this point you probably left with a handful at most. This is when you need to start reading the Fine print on how to actually cash out.
R: A lot of these "exchanges" want you to either deposit a certain amount or limit the amount you can cash out without verification or other hoops you need to jump through.

5. Eliminate the ones that require you to send them your ID/Passport/SSN/Bank or Utility Statement or any other identifying document.
R: You don't want to get your identity stolen on top of your Bitcoins/Cash

6. Make sure there are no special rules for the amount you want to check out or have excessive fees. Some "exchanges" won't let you cash out above x amount for example.

6.1 Send support Tickets, make up some bullshit and see how fast they respond. If you get canned replies or it takes more than a week, eliminate.

7. At this point you either eliminated them all or you have one left. If you indeed got one left, use that one and hope all goes well.

7.1 If you eliminated all Pick the one with the least hoops to jump through to get you to the max amount you want to cash out.

That is pretty much it. If you can't find one in your country at all, check in a friends country so you can send him to beat them up for you. Basically, be smart about this, double check all incl. fine print TWICE. Do not, i repeat DO NOT trust any reviews, trustpilot or any other user review sites.

Good luck.

Risc1911 fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Feb 7, 2018

# ? Feb 6, 2018 23:53

Pochoclo: Feb 4, 2008; No...; Clapping Larry

That sounds like a lot of hassle to lose all my money in a speculative bubble

# ? Feb 7, 2018 00:33

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Risc1911 posted:

Sure, i list the points and my reasoning.

1. Find a dozen or more "exchanges" on the internet. Google and Reddit are your friend.
R: You want a good base to start before eliminating the chaff.

2. Eliminate all that are not in your country of residence.
R: You want to make sure you can send the cops or a couple of friends with baseball bats to break their legs in case they do scam you.

3. Check company registers and verify the address and phone numbers. This can be a lengthy process and involve you making a lot of phone calls. Yes, call the neighbors and ask if there is a company next door. If they tell you they don't know who lives there and they only see the pizza delivery bring 2 large pepperoni and a mountain dew every day, eliminate.
R: As in #2, make sure you have them by the balls in case this goes tits up.

4: At this point you probably left with a handful at most. This is when you need to start reading the Fine print on how to actually cash out.
R: A lot of these "exchanges" want you to either deposit a certain amount or limit the amount you can cash out without verification or other hoops you need to jump through.

5. Eliminate the ones that require you to send them your ID/Passport/SSN/Bank or Utility Statement or any other identifying document.
R: You don't want to get your identity stolen on top of your Bitcoins/Cash

6. Make sure there are no special rules for the amount you want to check out or have excessive fees. Some "exchanges" won't let you cash out above x amount for example.

6.1 Send support Tickets, make up some bullshit and see how fast they respond. If you get canned replies or it takes more than a week, eliminate.

7. At this point you either eliminated them all or you have one left. If you indeed got one left, use that one and hope all goes well.

7.1 If you eliminated all Pick the one with the least hoops to jump through to get you to the max amount you want to cash out.

That is pretty much it. If you can't find one in your country at all, check in a friends country so you can send him to beat them up for you. Basically, be smart about this, double check all incl. fine print TWICE. Do not, i repeat DO NOT trust any reviews, trustpilot or any other user review sites.

Good luck.

coinbase not available in your country or what????

# ? Feb 7, 2018 00:48

Risc1911: Mar 1, 2016

Pochoclo posted:

That sounds like a lot of hassle to lose all my money in a speculative bubble

You should not buy into BTC in the first place, that will save you the hassle.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 00:49

Risc1911: Mar 1, 2016

Mirthless posted:

coinbase not available in your country or what????

No and i would not trust them with my ID documents either.

Bedtime for me, i check the thread tomorrow.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 00:49

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Mirthless posted:

coinbase not available in your country or what????

i don't think coinbase cashes out to australia, for example

# ? Feb 7, 2018 01:36

univbee: Jun 3, 2004

Milky Moor posted:

i don't think coinbase cashes out to australia, for example

or canada

# ? Feb 7, 2018 01:39

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Computer Serf posted:

someone made the reverse ponzi

https://etherhell.com/

there's also this fancy looking one, which probably has a backdoor like the other ones

https://etherjack.io/

this poo poo is mind boggling in its stupidity

it's almost like I'm hitting f5 at the giving tree hoping to snatch some faeries or codestones for resale but dumber

# ? Feb 7, 2018 01:56

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Moridin920 posted:

this poo poo is mind boggling in its stupidity

it's almost like I'm hitting f5 at the giving tree hoping to snatch some faeries or codestones for resale but dumber

Did you just make a neopets reference?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:06

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

i did

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:07

Spermanent Record: Mar 28, 2007; I interviewed a NK escapee who came to my school and made a thread. Then life got in the way and the translation had to be postponed. I did finish it in the end, but nobody is going to pay 10 bux to update my.avatar

Why not just use GDAX. Is that unsafe?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:17

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Spermanent Record posted:

Why not just use GDAX. Is that unsafe?

By all means trust one of the exchanges. What could possibly go wrong? :zaurg:

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:24

necrotic: Aug 2, 2005; I owe my brother big time for this!

Spermanent Record posted:

Why not just use GDAX. Is that unsafe?

GDAX is run by Coinbase.

Also: https://www.reddit.com/r/CoinBase/

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:26

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Mirthless posted:

coinbase not available in your country or what????

Coinbase/GDAX isn't even available in some parts of the US

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:28

Alpha Mayo: Jan 15, 2007; hi how are you?
there was this racist piece of shit in your av so I fixed it
you're welcome
pay it forward~

The poop. It keeps calling me. To find a Russian VPN, make a fake Russian identity and Bitmex account and trade $1000 on 100x margin :ohdear:

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:34

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

I'll take "Famous Last Words" for 500, Alex.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:35

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

Alpha Mayo posted:

The poop. It keeps calling me. To find a Russian VPN, make a fake Russian identity and Bitmex account and trade $1000 on 100x margin

sure why not

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:36

Spermanent Record: Mar 28, 2007; I interviewed a NK escapee who came to my school and made a thread. Then life got in the way and the translation had to be postponed. I did finish it in the end, but nobody is going to pay 10 bux to update my.avatar

Devian666 posted:

By all means trust one of the exchanges. What could possibly go wrong?

I've never bought a bitcoin so I have no idea. I just mean, If you're going to cash out, why not use the largest one that everyone is trading on at the time?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:37

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Spermanent Record posted:

I've never bought a bitcoin so I have no idea. I just mean, If you're going to cash out, why not use the largest one that everyone is trading on at the time?

Ah the Mtgox line of reasoning

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:40

Alpha Mayo: Jan 15, 2007; hi how are you?
there was this racist piece of shit in your av so I fixed it
you're welcome
pay it forward~

There Bias Two posted:

Did you just make a neopets reference?

HODL your BOOM stock TO THE MOON

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:41

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Spermanent Record posted:

I've never bought a bitcoin so I have no idea. I just mean, If you're going to cash out, why not use the largest one that everyone is trading on at the time?

The strategy for cashing out is to put a limited amount of coins in, sell them on the market then request withdrawl. Doing this with only a fraction of the holdings limits risk. In the past MTGOX was insolvent with respect to BTC and USD. Given that people are having troubles getting withdrawals from exchanges I would be wary.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:42

Harveygod: Jan 4, 2014; YEEAAH HEH HEH HEEEHH

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

THIS TRASH WAR AIN'T GONNA SOLVE ITSELF YA KNOW

Spermanent Record posted:

Why not just use GDAX. Is that unsafe?

Just repeat to yourself "Is that unsafe?"
Why not just use GDAX?"
for Mystery Bitcoin Value 6000

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:46

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Alpha Mayo posted:

The poop. It keeps calling me. To find a Russian VPN, make a fake Russian identity and Bitmex account and trade $1000 on 100x margin

Do it pussy

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:47

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Spermanent Record posted:

I've never bought a bitcoin so I have no idea. I just mean, If you're going to cash out, why not use the largest one that everyone is trading on at the time?

Buy in from largest exchange, it�s safer.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:49

Spermanent Record: Mar 28, 2007; I interviewed a NK escapee who came to my school and made a thread. Then life got in the way and the translation had to be postponed. I did finish it in the end, but nobody is going to pay 10 bux to update my.avatar

Devian666 posted:

The strategy for cashing out is to put a limited amount of coins in, sell them on the market then request withdrawl. Doing this with only a fraction of the holdings limits risk. In the past MTGOX was insolvent with respect to BTC and USD. Given that people are having troubles getting withdrawals from exchanges I would be wary.

So you're saying a large portion of people playing with their internet money can't even cash it out right now? I thought all the Bitcoin evangelists were crowing about how easy it is to make withdrawals.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:50

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Spermanent Record posted:

So you're saying a large portion of people playing with their internet money can't even cash it out right now? I thought all the Bitcoin evangelists were crowing about how easy it is to make withdrawals.

It�s easy. Jump in friend. Be rich why be poor.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:53

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 05:02

Computer Serf: May 14, 2005; Buglord

Moridin920 posted:

this poo poo is mind boggling in its stupidity

it's almost like I'm hitting f5 at the giving tree hoping to snatch some faeries or codestones for resale but dumber

it's dastardly genius

if it works like intended, it would exploit greedy game theorems and clog the eth network possibly forcing another hard fork

# ? Feb 7, 2018 02:56

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