/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Lotus foot was also the "perfect foot". It's just a status symbol. It matters because it was decided that it matters. The indicators are the indicators and sometimes it's just because a poet centuries ago described a foot as a lotus and it all spiraled from there until communism decided everyone had to throw bricks at sparrows.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:15

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 15:07

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

It sounds like the are both inexperienced and clueless about sex. The sex was going to suck no matter what. Like Mayne fill around for a little while first? If he is a19 year old virgin then he is gonna need some time and some help, and ditto for her.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:16

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pick posted:

Lotus foot was also the "perfect foot". It's just a status symbol. It matters because it was decided that it matters. The indicators are the indicators and sometimes it's just because a poet centuries ago described a foot as a lotus and it all spiraled from there until communism decided everyone had to throw bricks at sparrows.

That was p obvious about control, it's not the feet that were hot it was the cultural situation around it that appealed to people. Like finding fat attractive because it was an indicator of wealth.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:18

ElectroMagneticJosh: Oct 13, 2006; Lets Volt In!!

ArbitraryC posted:

That was p obvious about control, it's not the feet that were hot it was the cultural situation around it that appealed to people. Like finding fat attractive because it was an indicator of wealth.

Fat women with Lotus feet are the rarest type of sexy.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ArbitraryC posted:

That was p obvious about control, it's not the feet that were hot it was the cultural situation around it that appealed to people. Like finding fat attractive because it was an indicator of wealth.

You're projecting. Sometimes something is just about something stupid that will never really make sense in retrospect, like birds with big dumb feather displays and Ad�lie penguins giving each other rocks that look exactly the same as any other loving rock on the beach.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:28

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

therobit posted:

Ok I have read enough of that to have an idea of what you are talking about, but honestly think you are misinterpreting that data. Men prefer younger looking women with narrow hips for reproductive reasons. That does not translate into wanting women to look like children. If you get hot looking at girls that look like kids, you have something wrong with you.

I guess I just used the wrong language to describe it in the first place?

Anyway, I searched for �Gilmore Girls� and it seems the show wrecks relationships.

I [24F] think the new Gilmore Girl episodes just made me realize my relationship with [27M] of 4 years is over.

What do I [23/nb] do with all the stuff my ex [20/m] gave me?

quote:

...
A few days after we broke up, based on something I saw on Gilmore Girls,
...

I (23m) cannot get over my girlfriend of 4 year�s interests.

quote:

...
The kinds of movies and TV she would watch would be good, strong shows like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Archer, etc. She just seemed like a league above most of the leggings-wearing Ugg boot girls I see everywhere.
...
But now it's like she's a completely different person. She's started watching trashy tv shows on Netflix a lot. 90210, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl. I asked her why she would watch that trash, and she said "it's good"... I felt my respect for her declining and it caused some stress between us, honestly.
...
...she didn't want to play the game we'd play together anymore because she, "never liked video games" and she thinks they're boring. I asked her why she'd play with me, and she said she just liked spending time with me. I felt lied to and it caused another fight between us. She apologized for lying for so long.
...
**tl;dr**: smart girlfriend has completely changed interests and now reads, watches, and is interested in the stuff 16 year olds are. What can I do?

Me [28 M] with my [23 F] girlfriend of 3+ years

quote:

Let me preface by saying I've made a lot of mistakes. I can be neglectful with my attention, and can get consumed in my hobbies...
...
Which makes me realize that maybe our issue is lack of compatibility. I hate the shows and movies she tends to like, and she does the same to me. I like Super hero movies and TV shows, she likes Disney and Gilmore Girls . I like stuff with gore, she hyperventilates if she sees a CGI beheading...

Gilmore Girls, not even once. There�s more, but doing this on my phone is hellish.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:35

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

I know a guy who worked production on Gilmore Girls and when the show wrapped everyone got their own Gilmore Girls leather jacket with a big Luke's logo on the back. Women practically threw themselves at him to talk about that drat jacket and how much they loved Gilmore Girls whenever he wore it to the grocery store.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

quote:

The kinds of movies and TV she would watch would be good, strong shows like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Archer, etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfelqZpapZA

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:47

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

Gilmore girls is not what killed those relationships

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:53

don longjohns: Mar 2, 2012

How dare women like a TV show that men do not like

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:01

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

lmao searching for television shows is too easy, stay tuned for examples

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:04

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

Seriously though if my girlfriend didn't at least like the first 5 seasons of Game of Thrones I would probably dump her.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:07

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

You gotta have standards and the more capricious they are the better.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:08

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

Hello the specific type of media that I consume is core to my identity and the common basis for all of my relationships because I am a well-adjusted and rounded person.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:09

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

My (32m) wife (32f) asked if we could skip going to our weekly family get togethers because she feels uncomfortable. Siblings are upset.

quote:

We have a weekly get together of the three families. My family, my brother's family, and my sister's family. This is because our parents have passed on, and because our kids are all growing up together and this is important to them.

My wife does not like any kind of violence. She was raised in a violent home, and it is hard for her to be around. When the family gets together, we tend to watch things like Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, etc while the kids are off doing their own thing.

Last weekend, after the get-together when we got home, she asked me if I would mind if she stopped going. I was surprised, as she usually enjoys making a big portion of the meal and takes a lot of pride in it. She has never said anything, but I have noticed that she does spend a lot of time putzing around when we're at the TV part. She doesn't like to sit still for too long, so that's all I thought it was.

I asked her for more details, and she said that she just didn't want to have to sit through endless violent tv shows and that it was uncomfortable for her. I slowly understood, and honestly felt a little stupid for not realizing how hard it would be for her.

I didn't want her to be left out, since this is such a tradition for us. So I sent a message to my brother & sister, asking if we could switch to something a little more family friendly. I suggested Bob's Burgers, since the three of us were raised watchin The Simpsons and it might be nostalgic to watch a silly cartoon.

But it didn't go over well. They accused her of being a "party pooper" and they started to act very superior to her. My sister even went to far as to bring up how my wife has never gotten along with them because she's "a vapid housewife obsessed with her hair and nails and baking perfect little souffles."

(I told her not to talk about my wife that way, and she just said "whatever")

Brother said that when it was Star Wars time, she didn't even know who Luke Skywalker was.

(After we all saw it, she asked in the car "Who was the guy at the end?" and they wouldn't let it go)

I tried to reiterate that it's not a sin to not be as into "geeky" things, but they blew up at me about how she's just being controlling and trying to ruin our fun and what are we supposed to do, sit around watching Desperate Housewives with cocktails and laugh about our husbands?

(I interjected to say that show has been off the air for a while, and how it was actually very entertaining to watch, and they didn't like that at all)

They mentioned that their husband and wife haven't tried to change anything, and I pointed out that we actually eat a vegetarian meal because my brother's wife and children are vegetarian and nobody complained about that. But that just isn't "the same."

So here's how the situation ended: Sister caved and said we could watch "some stupid girly poo poo" if my wife would stop acting like she was better than everyone and let loose and try coming over without "some frilly abomination of a dress" on.

My wife then promptly saw the whole conversation, and she cried about it and said "Your family hates me," and she put her hand on my back and said "It's fine, honey, you don't have to change anything for me. I'll just send the food over with you, and you can have fun with your family."

Right now I hate my brother and sister for making my wife cry, for being such buttheads about this. But this get together is everything to our children, and honestly to me. I don't know what to do.

What do I do?

tl;dr: Wife asked if she could skip the family get together, but I tried to make a compromise happen so everyone I love can be together. My brother and sister have been very resistant to this, even attacked my wife. I don't know what to do because this is all a bigger deal than it should have been.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:10

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

Brother said that when it was Star Wars time, she didn't even know who Luke Skywalker was.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:15

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Ugh gently caress that. Family doesn�t mean poo poo, despite what loving assholes in the older generations seem to think. Toxic people get cut off, as it should be.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:15

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My (32m) wife (32f) asked if we could skip going to our weekly family get togethers because she feels uncomfortable. Siblings are upset.

Lol your family is poo poo. Have fun with the holiday blowup and not talking to your siblings up until your death.

cowofwar posted:

Hello the specific type of media that I consume is core to my identity and the common basis for all of my relationships because I am a well-adjusted and rounded person.

If you don't live, breathe, and poo poo Little Big you can get the gently caress outta my perfectly choreographed life.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:16

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Me [22 F] with husband [24 M], of 2 years. He's not okay with a t shirt I have from a popular cartoon show

quote:

I like the show Bob's Burgers. So does my husband. Recently I went to the mall with a friend and got a shirt with Tina Belcher on it. It has the text 'I put on my bra like everybody else, one boob at a time'. I thought it was hilarious, even though it's silly.

My husband saw the shirt and told me that it was inappropriate. I have pretty large boobs and he often feels uncomfortable when I wear something that draws attention to them. Because he thinks it's not cool to give random guys boners when they're just doing their job as cashiers/walking around with their SO. His words, not mine. I'm not even attractive. He says that with this shirt everyone is going to imagine me putting on my bra.

Anyway, I thought that the shirt is pretty funny. Hell, even my stepmom liked it when I sent her a picture and she's old-ish and conservative. They sell it at a store that's popular among young teenagers, and most people know it's from a cartoon and those who don't know the show would probably realize it is a reference.

The issue is not that he thinks it's immature to wear a shirt from a tv show. I have several and so does he.

I have absolutely no problem with not wearing the shirt. However, I do think it's a bit silly and am interested in your opinion. Is it inappropriate?

tl;dr: Got t-shirt from a cartoon with reference to bras. Husband thinks it's inappropriate. Is he right?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:18

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

Way to get married in your early 20s

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:22

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Yes, men don't think about women with big boobs unless we are prompted.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:24

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Jeffnote: you may want to bite down on a sponge or something before you start reading this

It's like standing in the eye, and its calm, and quiet, and all I see is him. me 21, two hims: 29 and 23

quote:

why did I decide to type this on my phone. sigh

I (21, f) am living with a man (29) who loves me, and who has given me a few "second" chances. He is kind, funny, and our sex is often and satisfying. Our relationship is by all appearances solid. But lo and behold..I am falling in love with someone else.

When I started dating my bf, I was a flirt. It bothered him. I was also depressed and clingy. And he dealt with that. I was silly and goofy, and it embarrassed him. But I appealed to him physically and mentally, being a horny little computer science major chick. And I remember how the first time we had sex, me being a little tease, remarked coyingly "I could be hosed harder"; he completely clamped up, said something along the lines of I don't need this poo poo, and stormed off.

devastated. (me)

He forgave me, we dated, I was more careful.

Fast forward to 8 months later. I've just met him on the corner, crying, and say "I've developed feelings for someone else". His face goes cold, he snaps his fingers, pivots and remarks "don't even talk to me". completely devastated.

I reform. I cut contact with the other dude. I don't talk to guys at all. My stomach constantly aches. I pledge my devotion to my bf over and over and eventually he lets me back into his life. I am a new person...outwardly. I act reserved in front of his friends. I attempt not to cling. I. don't. flirt. I try to contain the goof.

We adopt a cat.

oh and move in together. we live happily for a year.

Fast forward to a month ago. The 23 yr old dude I sit next to in class everyday for a year, joking with platonically, has become the first guy friend I've allowed myself to have since my reform. He is..(you guessed it!) a goofball. And suddenly BZZT. There's a romantic spark. I try to ignore it. I can't. He makes me forget that I've had to restrain the goof. I start to tease (carefully!) and he teases right back. We realize we want eachother, almost without acknowledging it..what should be an awkward middle ground feels more like standing deaf amidst a storm. Like standing in the eye, and its calm and quiet and all I see is him.

We know what we mean to eachother, instinctively.

I don't have to hold back how excited I feel in love like I did for my boyfriend. Because I love easily..I know I do. And yet my boyfriend can too easily shut me out. I loved him as hard as I would love anyone and he didn't quite respond. And after my initial hurt, and maladjusted response to that pain, I've come to just live with it. I want the freedom to love harder, reddit.

And now reddit..r/relationships I should say..what do I do? This man I live with has given me chances, can make me laugh, sexes me well and plays Half Life so I can watch. Even though he'd rather be playing sc2. Even though I sometimes let out gigle-squeaks during sex which turn him off, hum jurassic park like a madwoman, bounce around occasionally while he observes, mildly annoyed.

Do I break his heart and possibly renew his history of suicidal thoughts, to explore this new relationship, that allows me to feel giddy again, that allows me to share my giddiness, more importantly, that presents me with a whollle neeww worlllld..

Or do I pretend I'm already married, suck it up and carry on with Mr. Comfortable.

wut do, reddit.

tldr: if You think this is too long to read, try typing it on your fone. But in essence, I'm young and I've made mistakes with a good man whom I love, but I'm starting to feel IN love with someone else. A very strong love. Read the wall if u want to know how strong.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:25

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

dudeness posted:

Yes, men don't think about women with big boobs unless we are prompted.

Thanks for the prompting

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:27

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Poor ol Seabiscuit, saw GoT and died.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:29

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: you may want to bite down on a sponge or something before you start reading this

It's like standing in the eye, and its calm, and quiet, and all I see is him. me 21, two hims: 29 and 23

Dump your loser shithead bf and gently caress the young guy.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:30

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

failing forward posted:

How dare women like a TV show that men do not like

I have actually known a few men that liked Gilmour Girls. In retrospect they were girlymen.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:30

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: you may want to bite down on a sponge or something before you start reading this

It's like standing in the eye, and its calm, and quiet, and all I see is him. me 21, two hims: 29 and 23

I smell toast. Also, the BF should :murder:

OP at his earliest convenience.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:33

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Admiral Ray posted:

If you don't live, breathe, and poo poo Little Big you can get the gently caress outta my perfectly choreographed life.

Little, Big was an awesome book and I really wanted to read more at the end of it.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:37

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: you may want to bite down on a sponge or something before you start reading this

It's like standing in the eye, and its calm, and quiet, and all I see is him. me 21, two hims: 29 and 23

She's p insufferable but I dunno what a 29 year old saw in her anyways after their rocky start, dude is probably not much of a catch himself.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:38

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Kak posted:

Seriously though if my girlfriend didn't at least like the first 5 seasons of Game of Thrones I would probably dump her.

yeah, what's with chicks not liking treachery and rape, amirite?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:40

Kak: Sep 27, 2002

Khazar-khum posted:

yeah, what's with chicks not liking treachery and rape, amirite?

This is such a horrible post I don't even know where to begin

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:55

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Khazar-khum posted:

yeah, what's with chicks not liking treachery and rape, amirite?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:56

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

Gilmore Girls is a good show because literally everyone in it is awful in some way, except for maybe the Korean chick who just wants to rock out on the drums.

Anyway that phoneposting girl is raising some red flags I've seen elsewhere- chances are there's more times than the ones she's mentioned where she's "jokingly" or inadvertently said something inattentive that had a negative effect on her fella's confidence and it's just being compounded by her lack of, well, everything. She should dump him, for both their sakes.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:00

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

Pvt.Scott posted:

Ok, you know how we think cats and dogs are cute? That�s mostly due to their facial features being similar to human infants. A cute dog is essentially a wolf pup permanently stuck in adolescence, as we bred them that way. We connected with them better like that. Humans are wired to find babies �cute�. Facial features that are preferred vastly by men fill the same �cute� category. Big eyes, small mouth, small nose, soft features. Having these features broadcasts youth, and thus fertility.

You want about a 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio, btw.

E: I like big noses

There's a difference between the cute response and the sexy response. Men might experience an overlap of cute and sexy in the same body but that doesn't mean you can carelessly conflate them.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:08

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

PetraCore posted:

The dude is referring to statistical studies which don't actually mean much about people's innate preferences but instead say more about what is societally encouraged, what's acceptable, and what's discouraged. It's considered acceptable for men to date women consistently younger than them but not for that to be reversed, so that's reflected in the statistical breakdown. And women aren't attracted to 'status factors' as opposed to personality or looks, it's just that there was an explicit societal expectation (and said expectation is still around but implicit) for women to leverage their youth and beauty to 'marry up' because they weren't able to work when married. Turning that into some bullshit biotruths is pathetic, as is acting like that stuff is all innate and natural rather than learned or people going for what they think they can get rather than what they want.

Also this is very true. I've noticed it's very common for population statitistics likely attributable to socialization to become reified as biological facts in common perception. Like if women like pink and women tend to have two X chromosomes, suddenly it's 'second X chromosome causes preference for pink'.

I guess it's really just a plain old correlation/causation thing in the end. People tend to view biological factors as causative even when it's not warrented.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:15

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Gilmore Girls makes Guardians of the Galaxy (1 & 2) funnier.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:28

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

areyoucontagious posted:

Ugh gently caress that. Family doesn�t mean poo poo, despite what loving assholes in the older generations seem to think. Toxic people get cut off, as it should be.

Look, the dude called already called them buttheads. What more do you want?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:43

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Searching for �Prius� turned up a solid sitcom plot.

My girlfriend (25F) wrongly thinks that I (26M) am a marine biologist, and I don�t know how to fix it.

quote:

I'm (26M) deeply in love with my new girlfriend (25F), but i'm afraid I'm about to break her heart by telling her the truth.

Our mutual friend Ben set us up. So, on our first date she started telling me how she respects my job so much and she was so excited to meet someone that's working to improve and help the wildlife on our only habitable planet, rather than destroy it with the over-consumption of natural resources. I asked her how she knew what I did for a living, and she told me that she looked me up on facebook where she saw my save the whales' t-shirt in my profile pic. Apparently, she then asked Ben about the t-shirt and what I did and he literally told her that I was a marine biologist!!! But this is not really the case, because instead I work for a large company in the oil and gas sector. I don't know exactly why I let it happen, but I did. I wanted to tell her, but I was already nervous and I have trouble communicating sometimes. I really wanted her to like me I guess.

My biggest fear is that this could actually be a deal breaker for her. She's vegan, drives a prius, and she used to be in an ecology club in college. She also has some minor trust issues from her ex-boyfriend. So this could really hurt her when she finally finds out.

Lately, she has been talking a lot about the keystone pipeline and the environmental impact it will have, which is making me really reevaluate not having told her before, but it's also making me nervous about how she will feel about me when she finds out what I really do and i'm scared she will think i'm some kind of monster.

I've never felt this way about anyone before and I have no idea what to say to her. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to tell her, but the sooner I tell her, the sooner I may find myself without her, and I can't see myself losing all that we have together. How should I tell her?

TL;DR I'm in love with my girlfriend who thinks im a marine biologist and I don't know how to tell her the truth

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:54

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Tell her your company looks for whale oil alternatives.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:57

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 15:07

hanales: Nov 3, 2013

Beachcomber posted:

Tell her your company looks for whale oil alternatives.

They just need to be walking on a beach and he can pull a golf ball out of a whales blowhole.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 09:04

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