Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

https://supremeproducts.co.uk/shop/index.php/make-up-50ml-supreme-products-for-horses-and-ponies-995.html

this is an order of magnitude too cheap to be funny enough

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:24

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# ? May 14, 2024 11:58

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Virtue posted:

Ok but how much do you make if you have cleavage

Moobs won't help. Sorry dude.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:39

The Butcher: Apr 20, 2005; Well, at least we tried.; Nap Ghost

bob dobbs is dead posted:

https://supremeproducts.co.uk/shop/index.php/make-up-50ml-supreme-products-for-horses-and-ponies-995.html

this is an order of magnitude too cheap to be funny enough

Perhaps a false tail would be more to the gentleman's interest?

https://supremeproducts.co.uk/shop/index.php/false-tails-forelocks-2/false-tail-light-grey.html

A paltry �130.00.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:41

SiGmA_X: May 3, 2004; SiGmA_X

BattleMoose posted:

I can't figure it out either. It sounds like its literally gambling on the volatility in the market which might as well just be gambling on the weather in Bosnia. It can't be that can it? And then who is taking the other side of these bets? Are any assets held at all?

It's all paper, no questions there. It probably sits on a balance sheet as an asset/liability like any other derivative. VIX is a measure of current S&P500 options prices in the market (out of the money options on contracts with <30 days left?), and XIV is a future of that. I don't know much more than that because my industry (insurance) isn't allowed to use them at the insurance company, and our actuaries don't see the benefit to the non-insurance businesses. We stick with 'vanilla' swaps and options (some are on non-traded indices that the bank made up for/with us...lets not go down that rabbit hole...) which are pretty easy to understand.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:41

Commissar Kayla: Dec 27, 2008

Hoodwinker posted:

Didn't make-up used to be made out of horses or am I just thinking of glue?

They do make skincare.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:01

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

The Butcher posted:

Nothing money retarded about horses can surprise me anymore.

We can't just send them out looking like... farm animals!

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:07

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

There's nothing wrong with spending a bit of money on horse makeup, as long as your finances are stable.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 08:47

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Makeup is standard for every show animal, and pretty much every animal has shows somewhere. I worked at a poultry pavilion at the equivalent of a state fair and people were doing up their chickens and ducks to look their best.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 09:10

BEHOLD: MY CAPE: Jan 11, 2004

SiGmA_X posted:

It's all paper, no questions there. It probably sits on a balance sheet as an asset/liability like any other derivative. VIX is a measure of current S&P500 options prices in the market (out of the money options on contracts with <30 days left?), and XIV is a future of that. I don't know much more than that because my industry (insurance) isn't allowed to use them at the insurance company, and our actuaries don't see the benefit to the non-insurance businesses. We stick with 'vanilla' swaps and options (some are on non-traded indices that the bank made up for/with us...lets not go down that rabbit hole...) which are pretty easy to understand.

The VIX is an index of implied volatility of the current and next month out of the money S&P 500 options contracts. It is calculated but cannot be directly traded.
VIX futures are a cash settled future contract that can be bought and sold. Basically on the settlement date of the contract, the seller pays the buyer $1000 x the current VIX index.
The ETN XIV sells a rolling basket of VIX futures contracts for the current month and next month in order to maintain a weighted 30 day maturity. If VIX goes up, the fund will anticipate owing more money at settlement to the futures buyer and the value of the fund will go down. If VIX goes down, vice versa.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 10:05

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Inescapable Duck posted:

Makeup is standard for every show animal, and pretty much every animal has shows somewhere. I worked at a poultry pavilion at the equivalent of a state fair and people were doing up their chickens and ducks to look their best.

That must have smelt fowl.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 12:34

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

BattleMoose posted:

I can't figure it out either. It sounds like its literally gambling on the volatility in the market which might as well just be gambling on the weather in Bosnia. It can't be that can it? And then who is taking the other side of these bets? Are any assets held at all?

Market volatility has enough correlations with other positions to make the VIX a legitimate hedging instrument under the right circumstances.

Mostly though you're right, it's people gambling.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 13:02

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Aren�t all hedges gambles?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:07

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Wait you guys don't have makeup artists for each of your horses?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:09

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Subjunctive posted:

Aren�t all hedges gambles?

Well if you are hedging another position it is insurance. So in a way insurance is gambling you will burn your house down.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:10

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Subjunctive posted:

Aren�t all hedges gambles?

Literally, sure, but not how most people mean it. Someone buying hedges against systemic risks that might impact a position or business could be decreasing the overall volatility of their returns/income. Yeah, it's a bet on that risk, but gambling in common usage tends to imply undue risks with volatile returns.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:12

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Assuming that their bet on lack of correlation between risks is correct, I guess.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:14

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Subjunctive posted:

Aren�t all hedges gambles?

Get a better gardener. :colbert:

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:22

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

Lost $12,000 gambling in a week. Distressed, to put it lightly

quote:

Money values are in USD.

28 year old male. Gross income per year of 80k to 90k. Independent contractor.

The past 7 days have been the worst of my financial life.

Before this past week, I was only an occasional gambler. I'd buy 5 to 10 dollars in scratch off tickets every couple of months at convenience stores. Last week I discovered online casinos. I wish I never had. I started off with a mere 100 dollar deposit. Lost it. Then another 100. Lost it. Distressed about losing 200 dollars, I was determined to get it back. I threw down $500 on a deposit. I managed to hit a high on the roulette wheel of over $6,000. I thought the game was broken. How was I doing so well? Naturally, I lost all of that. I didn't think I could lose. I was wrong.

$2,000+ in the hole later, and I am DESPERATELY chasing my losses, trying to get my money back by depositing more money into my casino accounts. This is no longer about fun or "striking it big," but about getting my money back. This has had DISASTROUS consequences. I have now maxed out a credit card of $6,000, in addition to thousands lost in my checking account.

$10,000 to $12,000 later, and here I am, wondering what the hell happened.

I have not told anybody about this. The shame and guilt is too great. I cannot believe I was so stupid.

My financial situation:

I have just $400 in my bank account. It was $2,400 this morning. It would have been $0 if the casinos didn't have weekly deposit limits.

I have 2 checks for contract work coming in soon with a combined total of $12,200. This is enough money to last me 3 months, but here's the problem: All of this was meant for taxes for 2017. I didn't set any aside. I already owe the IRS $10k and am on an installment agreement with them.

I have ~$24,000 in credit card debt, and $2,300 in available credit. Looking at 90% utilization. It was $18,000 before my gambling disaster. My father suggested paying $1,000/month on the highest interest card. This would eliminate all of my credit card debt in less than 30 months.

Here's my plan:

Plead with the IRS to let them add my 2017 tax debt to the previous installment agreement so I don't become homeless. This will bring the total I owe them to $20,000. I'll be paying off my car soon, so that will free up $380/month. The cost and interest rate for the IRS is comparable to a car, so I'll just pretend I'm leasing a car.

Save money wherever possible. No more eating out. Halve my monthly food budget by buying groceries. Use the extra money to pay down debts.

Hustle my rear end off to get more work and increase my income (I'm a freelance designer).

Join gambling addition online communities for accountability and keep a gambling addiction hotline on speed-dial.

Never loving gamble again.

Thoughts on my plan? Words of encouragement? Criticism? This all feels like a bad dream that I'm just waiting to wake up from. The only thing that comforts me is that I only lost 12k before I wised up. Some people have lost way more to gambling.

It seems like he�s got his issues identified, at least?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:53

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Sounds like he knows he hosed up and has a plan to fix it

It's a little rough but at least he seems to have a level head. $12k could be a cheap lesson for someone with an addictive personality.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:58

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015

Galaxy brain: all financial instruments are essentially gambling

# ? Feb 7, 2018 14:59

Luna Was Here: Mar 21, 2013; Lipstick Apathy

Blinkman987 posted:

All the top Twitch streamers are male so maybe being attractive helps (in everything in life regardless of gender), but I'm skeptical of any suggestion that boobs help at the professional level. And as usual, it's a boys club at the top of an industry. Not an accident.

I'm not talking about the 40k viewer mega streamers, I was more generalizing to the average 500-1500 viewer full time streamer where it absolutely makes a difference in both what kind of viewers you attract and what kind of money you pull in.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 15:25

Teeter: Jul 21, 2005; Hey guys! I'm having a good time, what about you?

XIV sounds like one of those oddball bets at the Craps table that nobody understands because I and everyone else there are just playing the Pass Line. Then, some dumbdumb walks up, places the max bet all around the table, and quickly leaves with -$3000 before the cocktail waitress can return with their drink.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 18:45

Jake Mustache: Feb 7, 2017

Guest2553 posted:

On the way to work there's a left turn I have to make through a poorly designed intersection with no dedicated turn lights or lanes. Sometimes only one or two cars can make it through in a cycle which shits the lane up for everybody. I started avoid the left turn entirely by driving through some company's parking lot. It's longer but lets me drive through rather than turn at the same intersection, so it's usually a lot quicker.

Last winter I hit a curb or something buried in the snow and had to replace a rim that got hosed up. Today I did it again. BWM: spending $400 in wheels to save a couple minutes a day

https://www.instagram.com/p/Be3CXjZjK_c/

# ? Feb 7, 2018 19:33

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Teeter posted:

XIV sounds like one of those oddball bets at the Craps table that nobody understands because I and everyone else there are just playing the Pass Line. Then, some dumbdumb walks up, places the max bet all around the table, and quickly leaves with -$3000 before the cocktail waitress can return with their drink.

I just feel like I must be missing something fundamental about not just finance but the entire drat world. Like, I've heard of the VIX, it measures volatility. Telling me that XIV is the opposite of VIX makes sense as a sound bite. But... isn't putting money in XIV versus index funds specifically betting on both very low volatility and the market as a whole failing to grow?

# ? Feb 7, 2018 22:37

legendof: Oct 27, 2014

BWM: falling for scams. Props to the scammers, though, the use of bitcoin means that they're basically targeting just gullible people to begin with.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 22:37

Guest2553: Aug 3, 2012

Midjack posted:

The property owner can throw a trespassing charge at you too, depending on circumstances. Happened to a college roommate.

NancyPants posted:

Don't do that in front of a cop, you'll have a ticket on top of the repair bills.

Didn't know that. I resisted the urge to go zaurg-mode and found another detour through a strip mall parking lot instead. Thanks goons~

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:46

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Baronjutter posted:

My wife worked auto-claims in an insurance company. It's extremely stressful because you have people calling you immediately or shortly after accidents. Sure it generated a ton of entertaining stories but mostly it's just a high-stress call-centre type environment

My favourite stories were:
-Guy is at a party with a bunch of his friends, his friends are all drunk but he IS NOT DRUNK. He, being not at all drunk decides to take everyone for a joy ride in his truck. He drives very safely and soberly but somehow managed to flip his truck off the road. Because he was sober and his friends were not he was worried they would react irrationally towards him so he fled into the woods. Some of his drunk friends were lightly injured and the police ended up sending a full search party and dogs into the woods to try to find him but he claims he fell asleep because he was so tired from all his sober driving and partying. The next day he woke up, spent all day hiding in the woods, then finally called his boss and begged for a ride into town. His boss fired him for missing work that day and for injuring a bunch of his co-workers and hiding from the police all night. He also lost most of his friends, who decided to lie and say he was extremely drunk too. Things didn't go well for this guy.
...
-Old guy gets out of prison. He has no license and has strict parole terms that forbid him from driving or associating with other ex-cons. Another guy he knows from prison gets out later and asks him if he can borrow his truck to drive to another city since old guy can't drive it anymore. Old guy agrees but wants to come with him apparently so he can drive the truck home, which he isn't allowed to do. The moment their road trip starts the con drives the truck to a walmart and robs the place and uses the truck as a getaway vehicle. Eventually they go their separate ways and old guy files a stolen vehicle claim. The story is full of holes, drastically changes every time a new statement is given, and eventually old guy's lovely daughter takes over communication and drastically changes the story again. From what people could piece together these two were basically just planning on going right back into crime after prison, had a falling out over the outcome of a robbery and old guy's truck got stolen. Because of the criminal aspects the claim and very obvious lies it ended up being denied.

-Two dudes live together as roommates and are hosting a party. Roomate 1 owns a truck and says he went to bed early and did not give permission for anyone to borrow his truck. Roommate 2 says suddenly when his friend went to bed a guy showed up at the party that no one knew and suggested everyone go for a joy ride in the first roommate's truck. Everyone decided this was a good idea and went with him. Because everyone was drunk this mystery man ended up hitting like 10 cars during the joyride and ending up in a police chase with a helicopter. They finally ditched the truck in a field and scattered, the cops easily catching everyone except for this mystery person. The number of people they caught was the exact passenger capacity of the truck. No one could describe the mystery driver, no physical description or name but all had the same story of "a guy showed up at the party and stole the truck and we all just went along to make sure the truck was safe". It's important to note that if roommate 2 had driven the truck, it would not have been covered by roommate 1's insurance as a theft since someone you live with or regularly allow use of your vehicle can't steal your truck according to the insurance policy. Obviously everyone fabricated this mystery person to help commit insurance fraud and criminal charges from the police chase. I believe this one was denied and roommate 1 had to go to court to try to get any money for his lost truck.
...

Cross-postin', cut out the non-BWM ones.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:56

TheQuietWilds: Sep 8, 2009

BWM: Basically everything Kodak has done for the last couple decades, culminating in this: https://www.kerrisdalecap.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Eastman-Kodak-Company-KODK.pdf

EDIT: Bonus "anything involving blockchain/crypto" BWM bingo-square, unless that's the middle and horses are magically somewhere to the periphery

TheQuietWilds fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Feb 8, 2018

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:01

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

TheQuietWilds posted:

BWM: Basically everything Kodak has done for the last couple decades, culminating in this: https://www.kerrisdalecap.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Eastman-Kodak-Company-KODK.pdf

EDIT: Bonus "anything involving blockchain/crypto" BWM bingo-square, unless that's the middle and horses are magically somewhere to the periphery

The table of contents is a loving riot.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:13

Youth Decay: Aug 18, 2015

More LuLaLeaks

Little problem with that last one - consultants have been getting emails like this when they try to return their inventory

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:13

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Is this the Kodak holding company that licenses its name to stupid poo poo or the Kodak film company that makes a little film but also holds the corporate pension plan? Because I think they split it into two entities both named Kodak with one stupider than the other. Or at least I hope that they're not both doing stupid poo poo.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:16

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

How soon until every thread on BFC has Zaurg (or some subtle misspelling) in the thread name?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:52

crazypeltast52: May 5, 2010

Krispy Wafer posted:

Is this the Kodak holding company that licenses its name to stupid poo poo or the Kodak film company that makes a little film but also holds the corporate pension plan? Because I think they split it into two entities both named Kodak with one stupider than the other. Or at least I hope that they're not both doing stupid poo poo.

When was this split? Like 20 years ago Eastman Chemmical was spun out of Eastman Kodak, but I assumed that was a boring DuPont-like.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 05:02

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

crazypeltast52 posted:

When was this split? Like 20 years ago Eastman Chemmical was spun out of Eastman Kodak, but I assumed that was a boring DuPont-like.

When they declared bankruptcy. Looks like it split into Kodak and Kodak Alaris.

https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/b14zbc9tfrml5j/uk-kodak-pension-plan-revitalizes-kodaks-us-imaging-businesses

Kodak Alaris was funded in part by the Kodak U.K. pension plan. It doesn't sound like Alaris was the ones with the great terrible blockchain idea.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 05:09

Guest2553: Aug 3, 2012

Hoodwinker posted:

How soon until every thread on BFC has Zaurg (or some subtle misspelling) in the thread name?

A zaurg-rush, if you will?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 05:19

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

In-laws are racking up unsustainable debt with timeshares, and it ruined my wife's credit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5429yr/inlaws_are_racking_up_unsustainable_debt_with/ posted:

So we found out about this lovely little nightmare last night and I could use some advice. My in-laws have always been horrible with money, but since it never affected us directly, I never cared much.

The recent predicament: Sallie Mae claimed my wife was 9 months delinquent on her student loans. She and I thought these loans were paid in full 3 years ago. Her parents have always managed them and even told us that they were paid off. In fact, my wife, until last night, had no way of even accessing her account - she never had login credentials or even knew the lender was Sallie Mae. And, being sheltered from finance, my wife didn't even know the loans were in her name.

The in-laws stopped paying them without telling us. My wife and I are going to try to negotiate with Sallie Mae and explain the situation, since her credit dropped from ~780 to 414.

The issue is that my in-laws, now both retired, currently own 14 timeshares and they keep buying more! They just took out a loan for a timeshare near Epcot. In order to ease their financial burden, they're trying to unload older timeshares on my wife and I, disguising them as gifts (we are refusing adamantly).

They've already filed bankruptcy once and they're not too far from it again.

My wife and I can handle her credit hit easily enough, and paying off the loans isn't a problem either, but how on earth do I get these two children to stop buying these things? Are there any reputable studies and sources showing the financial liability timeshares represent?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 05:45

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Haifisch posted:

In-laws are racking up unsustainable debt with timeshares, and it ruined my wife's credit.

True entrepreneurs. They discovered the secret to wealth is timeshares, in fact Bill Gates made his fortune buying them.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 07:47

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Once you have 52 time shares you can sell your house and go on a never-ending vacation.

This sounds like they've somehow equated large numbers of time shares with the trappings of wealth. Like how some poor people think having 6 cars in varying states of disrepair means they've arrived.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 13:22

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Maybe timeshares are the only way they can get away from their leech children that don't pay for their own debts. Kids are two legged horses.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 14:16

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# ? May 14, 2024 11:58

OctaviusBeaver: Apr 30, 2009; Say what now?

Elephanthead posted:

Maybe timeshares are the only way they can get away from their leech children that don't pay for their own debts. Kids are two legged horses.

Seriously. Lol that he calls them children after saying this about his wife:

quote:

In fact, my wife, until last night, had no way of even accessing her account - she never had login credentials or even knew the lender was Sallie Mae. And, being sheltered from finance, my wife didn't even know the loans were in her name.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 17:00

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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