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Barudak
May 7, 2007

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Wow that family one is messed up. I don't have an answer that doesn't involve retaliation. Police aren't gonna give a poo poo about a sibling stealing clothes and the parents obviously won't do anything. Obviously putting locks on things is a start but something tells me it's not enough.

Given the sisters behavoir and the parents permissive attitude thats inviting the sister to light it on fire or some equivalent. Shes best off just leaving and just stop talking to them since they sound like theyll forget she exists within minutes of being out of the house

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cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy

Barudak posted:

Its always this traveling poo poo and theyve never ever ever had it work in a court of law.

Now if self driving cars become a thing they may have a case, but I bet theyll mysteriously all stop caring since it no longer makes them seem the smarter wizard in the duel.

SovCit legal theory is largely based on whatever pushed you into it. You have to specialize in one aspect of it, like a wizard. If your house is about to be foreclosed on then you're likely to specialize in the "writing checks against my fictional legal entity that the government uses to print money" school of SovCitizenry.

Wouldn't be surprised if the SovCit going on about why he doesn't need a license to drive got his pulled for getting too many DUIs.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

SovCit becomes hilarious when you think of all their interactions with the police the SovCit as a bumblig wizard trying to explain why broken wizard morality is actually good to Officer Conan T. Barbarianne

Rubellavator
Aug 16, 2007

Did I read that last part right, the mom ignored her and went to her phone. They are unhelpable. Stop buyjng poo poo and save up to move out.

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



My [21 F] good friend [23 F] is dating a [32 M] sex offender and I don't know how I can remain her friend

quote:

Fake name guide: my friend = Sarah, her boyfriend = Trevor

Sarah is one of my best friends. She's always been a bit socially awkward and sheltered but she's really sweet and we have a good friendship despite our very different backgrounds/lives.

While I've been in a serious relationship for a little over 3 years, she's never had much luck with male attention/relationships. She hasn't ever had a "real" boyfriend and as far as I know is still a virgin. She's very cute in my opinion, but not in a conventional way. (This next part is important to the story, I believe. Otherwise I wouldn't mention her appearance.) She's pretty eccentric in her style and typically dresses in a very child-like way, often wears overalls and bows in her hair etc. This mixed with her social awkwardness makes her dating life a little complicated, so every time she gets any sort of male attention she takes it and runs with it. Very fast and very far.

A couple months ago she called me and was very giddy because she gave her number to a customer at her work and he ended up calling her. They planned a date for the next weekend and she was over the moon the entire week planning for it. About 3 days before the date, she googled his name to find that he had committed a crime in a different state. He had been a high school teacher and had a sexual affair with one of his students. The victim, a 15 year old girl, came forward with proof and he lost his job.

She called me and asked for advice on what to do. At this point, I was confused why she hadn't already canceled the date and cut off contact but I gave her the advice to do so. I said if she wanted she could send him a cordial text with her reasoning and then to move on. She really fought against this advice. She made up all kinds of excuses like "well we don't know if they had actual intercourse, the article just says sexual relationship" and things like that. I ended up telling her to do what she thinks is right for her and her happiness, but that I think she deserves better and that a person who takes advantage of naive teenage girls while holding a position of power is not a person Sarah should date. The next day, Sarah called me to tell me she ended up following my advice and cutting it off.

Last night I went to dinner with Sarah. For a couple of days before our planned date, she kept telling me she was so excited to talk about boy stuff. I was super excited for her. She was so down about Trevor being a flop that I was really happy she had new prospects. At dinner I excitedly asked her to spill everything. She tells me, with a huge grin on her face, that she ended up giving Trevor a chance and has been seeing him for a month. My face immediately dropped, but not wanting to speak without thinking about what I wanted to say first, I basically sat through the entire dinner saying "uh-uh" to her 2 hour long ramble about him.

It's not just the guy himself but the way Sarah talks about him. I felt like I was listening to a 12 year-old version of myself talk about a boy I liked. She said she and Trevor were so compatible so I asked in what way, and, I poo poo you not, she said "both of our favorite bands are The Decemberists and we love M&Ms on our ice cream." As if similar taste in music and liking one of the most popular candies is an indication of being soul mates. She told me she texts with him for hours and hours straight and their conversations mostly revolve around how much they like each other. She said Trevor is "so cute" because he is obsessed with Taylor Swifts music. She said he "opens up" about everything: mainly his ex wife (who divorced him when the scandal came out.) Sarah told me that his ex wife was "a horrible person" who basically "led him to developing a relationship with a student." I did everything in my power to keep my mouth shut and not raise my voice in this restaurant. Furthering the weirdness of all of this, they've only been dating a month but she told me she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. She said he bought her a coffee mug for his place and it was "basically a step towards moving in."

I went home last night and never said anything to her. I felt I had said my piece the first time she wanted to date him, and to say anything else now would just be me stepping out of my business. But laying in bed last night I just kept thinking about that teenage girl, and how after the scandal she was probably humiliated, maybe had to switch schools, and maybe still do this day lives with trauma of being taken advantage of by a 30 year old teacher. I just kept thinking how my friend was disregarding this entirely. I don't think I can look at my friend as the same person anymore. Especially how seeing how immature she acts about an adult relationship. I feel like I've been friends with someone I don't even know. I started to question if her level of maturity and her childlike appearance and mannerisms are what attracted Trevor to her in the first place.

I move across the country at the end of February so my ways of handling this are a bit different from normal circumstances. Before all this, I planned on maintaining our friendship, being pen pals (we both love to write letters), have her visit me etc. Now I don't know if I can even hold a conversation with her anymore. She's having a Valentine's Day party on the 16th at her apartment. I planned on going but now she told me Trevor will be there. She somehow got the idea I would be excited to meet him and keeps saying how excited she is for me to me to swarm him (??) and get to know him. We are supposed to meet for coffee next week before the party. Here's where I need advice. Do I confront her about the Trevor situation? Do I tell her I want to remain friends with her but I don't want to hear about anything Trevor related? Do I keep my mouth shut and mind my business? I really feel uncomfortable with going to the party and being in a 400 sq ft apartment with him for 4 hours and being forced to talk to him. I feel like whatever I choose to say or dont say will ultimately decide whether I attend the party or not.

After the party, I go to my destination city to finalize things with my apartment and then I come back to box everything up and move. At this point I'm considering just letting the friendship fizzle.

TL;DR: A close friend of mine is dating a teacher that had an affair with a student. Do I tell her the huge mistake she is making or do I mind my own business?

:mad:

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer
I had a SovCit demand a jury trial because, "Sitting in the Park is a NAtural Right, and by giving me a $25 parking ticket you infringed my Natural Constitutional Rights!" He had brought a Blacks Law Dictionary to pre-trial and dropped it on the table in front of me, and I actually laughed at him.

boner confessor
Apr 25, 2013

by R. Guyovich

cumshitter posted:

Wouldn't be surprised if the SovCit going on about why he doesn't need a license to drive got his pulled for getting too many DUIs.

oh for sure

sovcit is what happens when you get an uneducated white guy who doesn't realize how dumb he is and is also incapable of understanding or accepting that he is wrong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrB2cHF9lVs

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Barudak posted:

Given the sisters behavoir and the parents permissive attitude thats inviting the sister to light it on fire or some equivalent. Shes best off just leaving and just stop talking to them since they sound like theyll forget she exists within minutes of being out of the house
Well there is a first-mover advantage to escalating here. I think there are things one could do. 17-year old me would have been all for them even if I recognize them as non-constructive now. She could start by taking something small of her sister's, like her color guard uniform right before a game, or an ear.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Skutter posted:

My [21 F] good friend [23 F] is dating a [32 M] sex offender and I don't know how I can remain her friend


:mad:

400 square feet is a small enough space that they wont be able to hide or get away from you as you gun them both down.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

boner confessor posted:

oh for sure

sovcit is what happens when you get an uneducated white guy who doesn't realize how dumb he is and is also incapable of understanding or accepting that he is wrong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrB2cHF9lVs

ffuuuucccck thats the good poo poo

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Palpek posted:

I (15F) feel humiliated after boy (17M) I asked out said he wasn't attracted to girls "like me" and when I asked him what he meant he said he doesn't date black girls.

quote:

The other day I asked out a boy from my neighborhood that goes to the same school as me and my friends do. He said, in front of all my friends, "no thanks" and when I asked why he just said he didn't like me or girls like me, and when I pressed him even more he said "I don't date blacks."

this reminds me of the time i passed a dude (who had always been nice to me, fwiw) a note to ask him out, then later on he gathered a group of his friends, read the note aloud to them in a silly voice, then tore it up & spat on it

i found out from a mutual acquaintance that he was, and i quote, "a proud racist", and he also later co-founded a young republicans afterschool club, so :geno:

having him tell me to my face that he didn't date blacks would have felt a lot better, tbh

Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


"Failure to answer is consent".

Okay buddy.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Me [27F] with my boyfriend [27M] 8 years, caught him exchanging dick pics with a dude in a neighboring city.

quote:

This happened yesterday.

He was taking a shower and I decided to snoop on his phone. I know that is frowned upon but a couple months ago, I found snapchat on his phone with pictures sent from a female friend of his. The pictures were harmless, of her and some kid at a baseball game, but I have no way of knowing what he has sent to her or what other pictures he has received from her. He told me that he installed it because a good friend of his asked him to so he can send him pictures of random poo poo and she is a contact in his phone, so snapchat added her as a friend or whatever, and she sends everyone in her snapchat those pictures. I take his word for it but from asking other people about snapchat, they generally told me it was an app that people use to send nudes. We didn't really fight about it and he uninstalled the app.

Fast forward to yesterday. I look through his phone and I see kik. I open the app and there was a conversation with a dude from the night before, Saturday. Starts out with 'hey I finally got kik' from my bf, then escalates to back and forth dick pics with my bf saying that the other guys' picture of his dick with cum everywhere is hot or something. The other guy asks my bf to come over. No reply from that and my bf says something like, i'm sorry i'm such a tease. Out of anger, I wrote the dude with something like, this is his gf, wtf (something along those lines) My blood is boiling. I open facebook and see his recent searches. He has looked up the guy he talked to. And he lives in the neighboring city.

I walk into the bathroom and ask my bf if he is gay. He is shocked and says no. I ask him who the gently caress _____ is. I walk out crying and pissed. He is out of the shower and asks me to hear him out. He says that he met the dude on /sex that same day and that he had some gay thoughts (which he insists is perfectly normal according to /sex). He says its just a fantasy and that he would never meet the guy in person or cheat on me. He insists that this was just a 1 time thing and that he was just curious. He tells me that when they chatted, he came and then logged off. I tell him I was not born yesterday and that "finally getting kik" did not sound like something that happened the same day. I mean, who the gently caress says they finally got something like that after only a day as my bf claims? My bf is begging me, tell me that this was a mistake, he will do anything to keep us together (getting rid of his phone, stop browsing reddit, etc). I ask him to let me see his phone. I ask him to let me see his reddit for evidence of his supposed conversation. He refuses. I continue pressing on the situation, asking for details to catch him in his own stupid lies. He finally tells me ok, it started a couple months ago when he was in his 'no fap' phase. It gave him gay thoughts and he had been curious about it, so therefore he installed grinder (which I looked it up, and is a gay, bi, curious app for LOCALS) and he masturbates to dudes dicks. I am livid. He tells me he is not gay. The thought of kissing or being with a man sickens him. Yet his actions... I don't know what the gently caress.

/relationships, if he says this is just a fantasy and that he would never do anything physically with anyone, why did he install an app for locals? Why did he install kik and chat with a guy that is less than 20 miles away from where we live? I feel like if I had not found out, things would have escalated. He tells me that when the guy asked him to come over, he felt sick and stopped, and opened up redtube to finish (which contradicts what he had said earlier- which he later says was a lie. Why would he lie about something worse than what apparently actually occurred?)

Its so funny because he says that at the time, since hes just chatting with a man and not a woman, he does not think its cheating. I asked him if the situation was reversed, what would he do? He says if I was talking with a woman, he would not have been upset. But if I had been talking with a man, he wouldn't know what he would do. I think thats straight up bullshit. I know exactly what he would do. He would kick my rear end out.

I am currently at work and he has been texting me saying he doesn't deserve me, he will do anything to make this right, he feels terrible that he has hurt me, gonna try his hardest to be the man i deserve. He says he loves everything about me, he was being selfish, stupid and inconsiderate. He says he's scared of losing me.

I am being as cool as a cucumber right now. I feel numb. Do people recover from this? It has been 8 years reddit. The best years of my life has come and gone. Has this happened to any of yall? Am I being irrational? Should I give him another chance? Should I move on and never look back? Help me.

tl;dr: BF of 8 years masturbates to local dick pics. Should I have even bothered to mention he seems genuinely remorseful of his actions and expresses regret for his infidelity? WTF do I do?

"I'm not gay! I just stopped masturbating and it made me mad for dick!"

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
[NH] Am I a prostitute, and if so, how much of one?

quote:

Hi lawyers. Here’s the scoop. Men with small penises pay me money to humiliate and berate them for having small penises. Pretty much all via online chat. I’ve only physically met up with two clients, and they’ve just touched themselves while I talk to them. I only touched them by shaking their hands when I arrived and when I left.

So here’s the thing. Another small penis humiliation (SPH) dom wants to sell me his “farm” (clients are affectionately referred to as “paypigs,” hence, farm). I will need to deal with the tax consequences of the transaction but I’m worried that the IRS will read it as a prostitute buying a book of business from... another prostitute.

TLDR if I get paid to make fun of people’s dicks obviously for sexual gratification but I don’t actually touch them, am I a prostitute?

Location: New Hampshire but my clients are all over the US and Canada.

Halser
Aug 24, 2016

chitoryu12 posted:

Me [27F] with my boyfriend [27M] 8 years, caught him exchanging dick pics with a dude in a neighboring city.


"I'm not gay! I just stopped masturbating and it made me mad for dick!"

one point for nofap

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
And none of her clients are tax specialists that could give her advice? I find that hard to believe.

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


You see if I look at dicks, which I'm not attracted to, technically I'm still fulfilling my nofap promise and not looking at porn. That's all hon! I'm not allowed to masturbate you see!

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

La Brea Carpet posted:

[NH] Am I a prostitute, and if so, how much of one?

So New Hampshire defines criminal prostitution as "Soliciting, agreeing to perform, or engaging in sexual contact or sexual penetration in return for consideration(money)".

So I'd say, "no" she's not technically a hooker?

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Skutter posted:

My [21 F] good friend [23 F] is dating a [32 M] sex offender and I don't know how I can remain her friend


:mad:

Jesus loving Christ. Dude got shitcanned for a sexual relation with a student, and he’s going after a naive awkward girl who dresses ‘young’ for her age with pigtails and overalls and poo poo?! Why is that friend not training for a marathon in the opposite direction from that dude?!

(Obvious traps of course: awkward, never had a boyfriend, getting flattered incessantly by an older, ‘mature’ man, and they have ‘so much in common’!)

Fun fact: if you get caught having ‘relations’ with a student (or even recently graduated student) 99.9% of other teachers look at you like the scum of the loving Earth. Which you certainly are!

E:

La Brea Carpet posted:

[NH] Am I a prostitute, and if so, how much of one?

Isn’t that more of a Dominatrix thing? They’re not illegal (since they don’t do penetration and such, right?)

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


LadyPictureShow posted:

Jesus loving Christ. Dude got shitcanned for a sexual relation with a student, and he’s going after a naive awkward girl who dresses ‘young’ for her age with pigtails and overalls and poo poo?! Why is that friend not training for a marathon in the opposite direction from that dude?!

(Obvious traps of course: awkward, never had a boyfriend, getting flattered incessantly by an older, ‘mature’ man, and they have ‘so much in common’!)

Fun fact: if you get caught having ‘relations’ with a student (or even recently graduated student) 99.9% of other teachers look at you like the scum of the loving Earth. Which you certainly are!

E:


Isn’t that more of a Dominatrix thing? They’re not illegal (since they don’t do penetration and such, right?)

Professors sometimes get away with it with grad students, if it isn't their student.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
I [32F] tell myself my BF's [41M] red flags aren't a big deal, but my friends say otherwise.

quote:

I [32F] have been with my BF [41M] for a year. We have been doing distance (about 2 hours) for the majority of the relationship. This means I usually only get to see him on weekends.

My two closest friends know all the details of the relationship, and they are concerned that I am getting involved with someone that isn't ready for a relationship at all.

He was previously engaged, but the engagement ended. He didn't take time to heal after the engagement and immediately rebounded with a close friend of his. His friends have suggested that this woman put herself in a very opportunistic position because she is madly in love with him and wanted a chance with him. Even though he ended the fling, she continues to assert herself into his life. He says he wants to be nice to her because he feels guilty for getting himself into that situation and also feels bad after everything that she and her parents did for him. He doesn't want to cut her off even though he knows that he should. It's a very unhealthy emotional relationship, and he doesn't seem to have the courage to cut her off or tell her to stop contacting him. He knows it's bad, he doesn't want to spend his life with her, but, as he once said, "I'm just a coward because I know how dramatic she gets." There truly is nothing going on with her other than her guilt-tripping him and manipulating him into keeping her present. He can articulate these things, his close friends know it, but he just won't cut her out.

When I have visited him, I saw that he smokes weed every night. There was a morning where he smoked a little too. When he smokes, he becomes distant and difficult to talk to. We end up just sitting on the couch or in bed. Even though I have told him I would prefer he not smoke when I'm around, he still does it.

He has major debt, no savings, no retirement fund, no emergency cash fund.

He works in a hard science as a postdoc. He started his PhD later than most, which is why he is a 41 year old postdoc. It has now officially been 3 years since he started his position. He hasn't published anything while being there. He says that he's working hard on his experiments and hoping to have something publishable soon. I talked to our friend who is in the same group as him. She told me that he often gets to work between 10:30-11am, takes long lunch breaks, and leaves by 6:30pm. When I ask him about what his plans are, he says that he can't even consider the next move until he publishes. He says that he feels an academia job is out of the question because he hasn't published during his postdoc yet. He's open to industry, but he doesn't want to consider that until he publishes.

I have a professional degree. I have student loan debt, but I have built a nest egg for myself. Being financially stable is very important to me. This might get some eye rolls, but I personally don't think a 41 year old man in the financial and work position he's in should be smoking weed every night.

He's a wonderful man, but when I type these things out I can see why my friends are concerned. One friend said that his life is a tornado right now. She feels that he never worked through his engagement ending, then added to that baggage by getting involved with a woman who will do anything to be with him, and now he's avoiding the responsibility of handling those issues.

Even after conversation about the aforementioned red flags, he hasn't made any major changes. This is probably the biggest reason my friends think that I need to reevaluate. They say that his lack of motivation to take control of his own life is concerning and not something I should get involved with. I just feel I need some objective advice. Maybe people that have been in a similar situation, or people that can also see that these issues will be a recurring theme.

tl;dr: His red flags include an ex that he won't cut out of his life, financial instability, (a personal issue for me--nightly weed use), and very poor progress at work.

Gonna guess physics grad student

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Al Borland Corp. posted:

Professors sometimes get away with it with grad students, if it isn't their student.

Well, they’re not 14-18 year olds.

Your example is still gross AF. I posted a bit back about a 24 y/o asking out her 45 y/o professor and ‘why is my boyfriend so mean/distant?!’ She was clearly not his girlfriend.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

This one isn't really bad, but I just love the phrasing here.

My[26F] little sister [21F] smells like she cuddles 20 skunks at all times.

quote:

want to start off by saying my sister is an amazing personality and she's a fabulous woman, but there's a serious problem with her when it comes down to her body odor and body care. My little sister has ALWAYS fought people when they bring up her body odor, we've even brought her to a doctor once after we made her shower for a full week in a row to see if the smell will disappear - but it didn't, it actually got 10x worse. The doctor said the smell seemed more with her care of her body and surroundings than anything else, so that was that. After that, every time ANYONE brought up the hygiene issue, she would not make any excuses, she would actually do the total opposite - she becomes verbally abusive, result to names and then make it almost intolerable to talk to her.

Cut to two weeks ago, her friend had brought her home from school and I admit, her odor was fairly strong that day. My sister didn't see it, but her friend hosed her car with febreeze and rolled her windows down before pulling away. I didn't tell her, but I sure did bring her odor up again and was met with, again, verbally abusive language and behavior.

Another incident that happened is my sister went to use the bathroom on a following day while I had friends over. Her scent was SO OVERPOWERING that when my friend went in, he immediately came out and he had a visibly disturbed look on his face. He, having been my friend since elementary school, was honest with me and told me he smelled some really bad in our bathroom. I checked, it was indeed my sister's odor as it tends to linger.

THEN another incident where we went to the store, she was elsewhere in the establishment and I was in one aisle with another woman, who was 100% perfectly fine...until my sister showed up. She visibly looked uncomfortable and ended the conversation VERY quickly the second my sister arrived and stuck around for at least 15 seconds. I'm at my rope's end with this, I don't know what to do since she is reaching that age where she needs to get her act together for when she looks for work.

tl;dr: Little sister constantly smells like hot cheetos and rear end on a hotplate, how can I help her smell a little bit less offensive?

EDIT - 6:10PM EDST: In the short time that this post has been up, I've gotten some pretty interesting insight on the possibilities and everything that could lead up to this. We're gonna knock each thing down as we go along. Hopefully ew can find something that will make everyone including my sister happy and put her at ease a bit. :) Thanks a lot, fam. <3

Edit #2 - 11:07AM: Went on a shopping spree, gave her the info on TMA, and she made an appointment with the doc. I admitted to her the title of the thread and she said "Excuse me, I don't cuddle skunks. If anything, I cuddle bunnies instead." To which she says as she cuddles her 4 year old Lion's Mane named Pikachu. She took the talk real well, thanked me many times, and this morning I woke up to a nice hot cup of Starbucks coffee for me, with a little pink lamb and candy. Here's to a life-long friendship and sisterhood, thanks so much for the advice!

The "TMA" is Trimethylaminuria, which causes a terrible odor to emanate from your body for no reason.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [32F] tell myself my BF's [41M] red flags aren't a big deal, but my friends say otherwise.

Its stories like these where I feel like its actually important to know how hot the guy is because she didnt even bother to say “our relationship is perfect except one thing” to defend him.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Me [24 /F] with my husband [35M], married 5 yrs. I feel like a slave.

quote:

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Ever since we got married, I've felt like things were off.

We've never had sex. He refused to try intercourse and just wanted to do mutual masturbation or oral. But, he never wanted to give me oral, stating that I smell bad, but wanted me to give him oral. I've since grown so uncomfortable with the situation that we haven't had sexual contact in about a year, other than him grabbing at my boobs from time to time while literally whining about not getting sex. Maybe I'm a prude, but I don't feel sexually comfortable with him.

Three months after we got married, my husband lost his job. And he refused to look for one. At the time, I was working an entry level retail job and we had to go on food stamps to get by. Thankfully over time ive climbed the corporate ladder and now make decent money. I work hard though, about 60 hours per week and I go to school full time.
My husband agreed to do the bulk of the housework. But typically only washes dishes and does laundry. When I ask him to please vacuum or do something else, he'll complain that I don't appreciate his efforts. As soon as I get home from a long work day, he expects me to make dinner. I'm also responsible for putting gas in the car, putting away laundry, raking leaves, mowing the grass, shoveling snow, taking out the trash, grocery shopping, errands, cooking, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, and vacuuming. He refuses to do any activity that requires putting on pants, saying that since I work outside of the home and am already dressed, I should do those things.

I've tried to tell him that I feel unsupported and that the work load is not equal. I'm very non confrontational, so I speak timidly. And he gets angry and says things like all I do is complain, or that he waits on me hand and foot and his life is all about what I want.

Most days, he spends the entire day in his chair playing video games. Whenever I tell him how I feel about it, he gets mad or he cries and says he should just kill himself. He also frequently says that im the only good thing in his life and he'd kill himself if I ever left. I get worried about what would happen to him if I did leave. He has no income, and he's clearly unstable. He refuses to go to therapy or see a doctor.

Sometimes I feel like leaving. I feel like he holds me back so much, and makes life harder on me. I feel like a slave or a prisoner. But then I wonder if I'm just being an overdramatic baby. My therapist alluded to this being emotional abuse, but that seems extreme.

tl;dr: Husband treats me like a slave, threatens to kill himself all the time. I'm unhappy but feel trapped. Should I just get over it, or should I get out,?

The first reply:

quote:

Girl you are 24 and you've already spent 5 years in a sexually incompatible relationship with a 35-year-old man who refuses to work and won't heat up a drat can of soup for you. Think ahead to when you're the 35 year old. Do you want to endure another 11 years of this?

Clark Nova
Jul 18, 2004

Aww, it’s great when you can tell someone close to you that they are a literal trash fire and they believe you and take steps to address it:glomp:

(re: the smelly sister, not age gap/manchild post #7314, obviously)

Clark Nova fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Feb 7, 2018

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

chitoryu12 posted:

Me [24 /F] with my husband [35M], married 5 yrs. I feel like a slave.


The first reply:

Some leeches can get really loving big if you let them feast long enough.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

chitoryu12 posted:

Me [24 /F] with my husband [35M], married 5 yrs. I feel like a slave.


The first reply:

jesus christ

I could only read the first paragraph of this and already the guy came off like a loving serial killer

Capri Sun Tzu
Oct 24, 2017

by Reene

loquacius posted:

jesus christ

I could only read the first paragraph of this and already the guy came off like a loving serial killer
Nah just a worthless pile of poo poo who's too pathetic to off himself let alone anyone else

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Capri Sun Tzu posted:

Nah just a worthless pile of poo poo who's too pathetic to off himself let alone anyone else

maybe it's just because she led with the Sex Weird stuff but he reminded me of the ex-husband from 11/22/63

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Since they've never had sex could she gently caress him out of any alimony with an annulment or was that just something they made up for Arrested Development?

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Capri Sun Tzu posted:

If he really cuts off contact with her this could be salvageable. 50-50 on whether he sent the pics or not but he was definitely considering it when he took them.

I take probably ten dick pics a day and they’re not for sending to anyone, they’re for me.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

cumshitter posted:

Since they've never had sex could she gently caress him out of any alimony with an annulment or was that just something they made up for Arrested Development?

Very few people actually qualify for Alimony. “Being a lazy piece of poo poo who refuses to work” is not considered a qualifying reason for it.

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

girl. get a lawyer, move out without telling him in advance, change your phone number, and have your lawyer submit a petition for annulment. that is not a marriage.

e: or divorce, whatever

Cactus Ghost fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Feb 7, 2018

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

cumshitter posted:

Since they've never had sex could she gently caress him out of any alimony with an annulment or was that just something they made up for Arrested Development?

You can request annulment due to non-consummation in England and Wales, but IIRC, most states in the USA don't have this provision.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Skutter posted:

I just saw a commercial last week about a new treatment for Peyronie's disease (which showed a close-up of a guy's crotch and had the words "Worried about your curve below the belt"), so maybe there's hope for the guy?

Also: r/relationships: my once beautiful penis

Who else knows what Peyronie’s disease is solely because of the book Youth In Revolt? I can’t be the only one.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Alimony is basically a recognition from the court that the other party acted as your employer in such a a capcity that you are unqualified for any other task. It is not “they make more money than me, they have to give me the difference”

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Barudak posted:

Alimony is basically a recognition from the court that the other party acted as your employer in such a a capcity that you are unqualified for any other task. It is not “they make more money than me, they have to give me the difference”

So, in every single instance where a divorced man has to pay alimony, his ex was a homemaker?

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

loquacius posted:

So, in every single instance where a divorced man has to pay alimony, his ex was a homemaker?

Think of the statement as a guideline for understanding how alimony (aka spousal support) works, rather than a perfectly worded cornerstone of legal principal.

I can't tell if you're being serious or not.

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Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

My good friend got married young to an absolute piece of poo poo. I'm usually not too hard on people, but this guy was a controlling abusive jealous lazy heap of garbage that expected she make all the money while he lazily pursued his dreams of being a musician or something. She had 3 kids with the guy and quickly realized she needed out, but if she divorced him as is she'd probably have to pay alimony on top of being the sole breadwinner for her kids. So she pushed him into school, got him a lovely job, then finally dumped him. The problem is they've only been "separated" for years and years now, never an official divorce because he's such a lazy piece of poo poo he barely works and still exists in a pit of entitlement and blaming others, and she's worried he'd go after her for alimony because she has quite a good job now (which she worked her rear end off to get out of necessity for raising 3 kids with special needs on her own)

He also almost never takes the kids, and when he does he spends the whole time talking about how mom is rich but he can't even afford to feed them any snacks or dinner because mommy won't share her money.

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