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IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
We're going live again! Join us!.

#1 Masked Man (c) vs. D the Destroyer for Buscus Title
#2 Tommy Wiseau vs. Lore Convoluter
#3 Toad vs. Palpatine (c) for Bunny Title :3
#4 Jumpy Chan vs. Rara
#5Link and Fruitsniffer vs. Woolsey Smythe and A Tree
#6 Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton (c) for Kawaii Title
#0 Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

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IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Episode 9 - Link Partners Fruity, Wrestles Ages - (Twitch VOD)
Episode title by yerpalhal


IGgy IGsen posted:

#1 Buscus Brawl (oh no! but they are teammates!!!!)
Masked Man (c) vs. D the Destroyer

#2 Singles
Tommy Wiseau vs. Lore Convoluter

#3 Bunny Championship :3
Toad vs. Palpatine (c)

#4 Singles Match
Jumpy Chan vs. Rara

#5 Tag Team
Link and Fruitsniffer vs. Woolsey Smythe and A Tree

#6 Kawaii Title Match
Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton (c)

Tevery Best posted:

Okay, Tommy Wiseau! Listen up. This is a callout.
You're bad. Your style sucks. You can't fight and you sure as hell can't step to anyone with an ounce of stage presence. You're nobody on the mic, nobody in the ring, nobody in life and nobody in LPFWA.
You couldn't even beat a man whose sole claim to fame is being old and goofy.
Tomorrow, on the Moon, I'll be tearing you apart, Tommy Wiseau! Roommate Man!
And when I beat you, I will reveal to all your actual secret origin story!
You've got no way out, no chance, and no future. And after tomorrow, you won't even have a past. I will take it from you, and I will use it to end you.
Zeistgeist out.

I am actually super excited about Tommy Wiseau as a character and think he is one of the rookies to watch right now

VolticSurge posted:

*Ren is sullenly sitting his weird chair thing while Divide is blaring in the background *

Stupid, stupid, STUPID! *angrily throws mask across room*

How? After all I've done to be like Adam-no,be like Grandfather-how could I have failed so badly?! How could I slack off like that?! I'm not weak! Not like the girl,not like Skywalker...and not like Father. If my resolve is ironclad, then what happened? Performance stress? No,I've never blown it so badly before-unless you count me getting pummeled by that stupid tree-that can't be it. Someone must be trying to cloud my judgement. The Light failed to seduce me before,and it shall fail again! *stands up and marches over to his helmet,picking it up* Or perhaps... *puts on the helmet again*

...the failure isn't mine. Perhaps it is my teacher that has failed me. Perhaps... *The malfunction kicks in again, giving his voice a menacing mechanical effect* ...oRa 66 needs new management.

Kadorhal posted:

Attention, superstars of LPFWA: It has come to my attention that something is very, very wrong with the talent on display lately. No, not any of you guys, I mean the one that's been defeating our randomly-voted people in the aftershow. That Ric Flair, the version who's apparently from 1991 despite that having been almost 40 years ago. Clearly, Ric Flair from 1991 is of a secret society aiming to take over the world through economics. No, not like us at Kadorhal, Inc. We just like selling things. Clearly, our F.E.A.R. squadron that's not exactly a squadron is best-suited to handling this sort of possibly-soon-to-be-supernatural threat, so I need all of you to vote Face in to fight this threat. And once he defeats this Ric Flair who's from '91, then we can... oh, hang on, visitor. Yes, what do you n-



Marana, pallex!


Rather Watch Them posted:

Does this mean I have to clean up that pentagram I drew on the ring? I mean, since we weren't using it last week I kinda, sorta...

Thankfully I brought a mop and bucket.

Val lifts the mop, affixed with a picture of Hell-Ena's face... peels off the picture and starts mopping the ring.



quote:

#1 Buscus Brawl (oh no! but they are teammates!!!!)
Masked Man (c) vs. D the Destroyer
Masked man get's Destroyed

#2 Singles
Tommy Wiseau vs. Lore Convoluter
Tommy defeats Lore by pinfall

#3 Bunny Championship :3
Toad vs. Palpatine (c)
Palpy is DQ'd due to interference by Face.

#4 Singles Match
Jumpy Chan vs. Rara
Jumpy does the End of Heartache thing and Rara stays down

#5 Tag Team
Link and Fruitsniffer vs. Woolsey Smythe and A Tree
Ghost and tree do the thing where they win but it takes them 1000 years to do so. Good things ghosts don't try and trees can get really old.

#6 Kawaii Title Match
Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton (c)
Tolvie beat Val before... but this time it's Val who's victorious

After the show...

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Mar 14, 2018

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
And here's a match card for next Saturday featuring some matches!

It's been a while since we've seen Dr. Ham and El Catire Arrecho. I was not underutilizing them on purpose, though.
I didn't get to make any new CAWs this week (yet). Late shift means I don't have too much time, hopefully I'll find some, though.

#1 Buscus Brawl
(c) The Masked Man vs. Dr. Ham

#2 Singles Match
Tommy Wiseau vs. El Catire Arrecho

#3 4-Way
Lore Convoluter vs. The Majestic Goat-Man vs. Lotus vs. Dash Rendar

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Woolsey Smythe vs. Palpatine (c)

#5 Singles Match
Lady of the Lancet vs. Divine Coffee Binge

#6 LP Superstar Title
Kylo Ren vs. A tree (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Show will start in a bit over three hours. but don't worry, I'll make another post when we're about to go live, I'm actually posting because:

I actually did make another character, finally!

Bone Pimp!


Basically Baron Samedi but with a pimp coat.
Moveset and Entrance still need to be made but I'm glad I finally got to make another one.

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Jan 20, 2018

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Eventually the Lady of the Lancet and I will actually get to have a match that doesn't have other participants added or get scratched because SOMEONE WHO I WON'T NAME jumped me in the hallway or something!

Maybe it will even happen today!

Maybe!

Tevery Best
Oct 11, 2013

Hewlo Furriend
You know what the problem with four-ways is?
25% less chance to win.
YOU MEAN 25 PERCENTAGE POINTS SMALLER CHANCE TO WIN, LORENS!
...what exactly were you doing in my locker?
And, more to the point, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?

TO BE CONTINUED! And don't forget: support the writers!

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Show will start in about 15 minutes: https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
#1 (c) The Masked Man vs. Dr. Ham for the Buscus Title
#2 Tommy Wiseau vs. El Catire Arrecho
#3 Lore Convoluter vs. The Majestic Goat-Man vs. Lotus vs. Dash Rendar
#4 Woolsey Smythe vs. Palpatine (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#5 Lady of the Lancet vs. Divine Coffee Binge
#6 Kylo Ren vs. A tree (c) for the LP Superstar Title
#0 Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
It will happen someday! Keep the faith, my little Coffeemaniacs!

VolticSurge
Jul 23, 2013

Just your friendly neighborhood photobomb raptor.



While the tree has bested me, my victory over the Ric of Flair has empowered me, filled me with his Dark Side energy. I have gained...his gains:


Too bad you didn't gain his fashion sense.

WILL YOU SHUT U-

VolticSurge fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Jan 21, 2018

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


Well of course he beat Flair, it was a non-title match

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Episode 10 - Lucha Perros Find Winning Awesome - (Twitch VOD)
Episode Title by DivineCoffeeBinge

IGgy IGsen posted:

And here's a match card for next Saturday featuring some matches!

It's been a while since we've seen Dr. Ham and El Catire Arrecho. I was not underutilizing them on purpose, though.
I didn't get to make any new CAWs this week (yet). Late shift means I don't have too much time, hopefully I'll find some, though.

#1 Buscus Brawl
(c) The Masked Man vs. Dr. Ham

#2 Singles Match
Tommy Wiseau vs. El Catire Arrecho

#3 4-Way
Lore Convoluter vs. The Majestic Goat-Man vs. Lotus vs. Dash Rendar

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Woolsey Smythe vs. Palpatine (c)

#5 Singles Match
Lady of the Lancet vs. Divine Coffee Binge

#6 LP Superstar Title
Kylo Ren vs. A tree (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Eventually the Lady of the Lancet and I will actually get to have a match that doesn't have other participants added or get scratched because SOMEONE WHO I WON'T NAME jumped me in the hallway or something!

Maybe it will even happen today!

Maybe!

Tevery Best posted:

You know what the problem with four-ways is?
25% less chance to win.
YOU MEAN 25 PERCENTAGE POINTS SMALLER CHANCE TO WIN, LORENS!
...what exactly were you doing in my locker?
And, more to the point, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?

TO BE CONTINUED! And don't forget: support the writers!


quote:

#1 Buscus Brawl
(c) The Masked Man vs. Dr. Ham
They throw each other around for a while but Masked Man throws Ham around harder so he wins

#2 Singles Match
Tommy Wiseau vs. El Catire Arrecho
Catire Arrecho takes the win with a Hurancanrana roll-up. Tommy was so pissed.

#3 4-Way
Lore Convoluter vs. The Majestic Goat-Man vs. Lotus vs. Dash Rendar
Dash does the thing where he wins. I am offended.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Woolsey Smythe vs. Palpatine (c)
At this point it's not a surprise anymore but Palpy wins again.

#5 Singles Match
Lady of the Lancet vs. Divine Coffee Binge
DCB! DCB! DCB! The crowd chants for the entirety of the match only for her to lose.

#6 LP Superstar Title
Kylo Ren vs. A tree (c)
The Dark Side is not powerful enough to stand against a tree

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Kylo Ren vs. Ric Flair
If you wanna be the man you gotta beat the man. Ric Flair was the man, Kylo beat him. He's now the man.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

It will happen someday! Keep the faith, my little Coffeemaniacs!

VolticSurge posted:

While the tree has bested me, my victory over the Ric of Flair has empowered me, filled me with his Dark Side energy. I have gained...his gains:


Too bad you didn't gain his fashion sense.

WILL YOU SHUT U-

Kadorhal posted:

Hey, good job, Ren! I know the match against the tree could have gone differently... y'know, the way it did when it was a tag match also involving me and the ghost... but still, beating Ric Flair? I was convinced that guy was unstoppable. Which really didn't bode well for me when the boss started on that thing saying he's some sort of supervillain or something and was trying to convince everybody I should have fought him. I mean, becoming The Man™ would have been cool, but I'd have to beat him, and I don't think I could have done that. But you could, and you did, and that's cool.







Speaking of the boss, can you help me find him? I haven't seen him in two weeks or so. I wouldn't care so much, if not for the fact I haven't gotten any paychecks from him in those two weeks either.

VolticSurge posted:

Thank you, bu-partner. Slip of the tongue-I'm just positively giddy with the power I have absorbed from the... I dunno what Seasonal Maiden the Ric of Flair was? Summer, I guess. As RWBY has shown me, the only way you can absorb someone's power is if you kill a Maiden. But, getting back on topic, my newfound power gets me one step closer to becoming as powerful as Grandfather was.

To clarify Lord Ren's wording, he means that Maidens are the only people whose powers can be transferred to another. Kinda like One for A- begins choking

What did I tell you about referencing that inferior knockoff of RWBY?

*pained* Actually Lord Ren, Boku no Hero Academia is the show RWBY wishes it w-

What was that? intensifies choke

N-nothing, Lord Ren.

Good. *drops FN-2119 to the ground* I have never been able to maintain the grip for so long before... but I'm getting sidetracked. Of course I'd be willing to assist in locating your master, Face. I need to repay your faith in me-something neither Father nor Skywalker had.

*grumbling* Don't think I'll forget this, Kacchan...

You know the reference flew over my head,right?

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Jan 28, 2018

Kadorhal
Jun 3, 2013

Look, just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.
Hey, good job, Ren! I know the match against the tree could have gone differently... y'know, the way it did when it was a tag match also involving me and the ghost... but still, beating Ric Flair? I was convinced that guy was unstoppable. Which really didn't bode well for me when the boss started on that thing saying he's some sort of supervillain or something and was trying to convince everybody I should have fought him. I mean, becoming The Man™ would have been cool, but I'd have to beat him, and I don't think I could have done that. But you could, and you did, and that's cool.







Speaking of the boss, can you help me find him? I haven't seen him in two weeks or so. I wouldn't care so much, if not for the fact I haven't gotten any paychecks from him in those two weeks either.

VolticSurge
Jul 23, 2013

Just your friendly neighborhood photobomb raptor.



Kadorhal posted:

Hey, good job, Ren! I know the match against the tree could have gone differently... y'know, the way it did when it was a tag match also involving me and the ghost... but still, beating Ric Flair? I was convinced that guy was unstoppable. Which really didn't bode well for me when the boss started on that thing saying he's some sort of supervillain or something and was trying to convince everybody I should have fought him. I mean, becoming The Man™ would have been cool, but I'd have to beat him, and I don't think I could have done that. But you could, and you did, and that's cool.







Speaking of the boss, can you help me find him? I haven't seen him in two weeks or so. I wouldn't care so much, if not for the fact I haven't gotten any paychecks from him in those two weeks either.

Thank you, bu-partner. Slip of the tongue-I'm just positively giddy with the power I have absorbed from the... I dunno what Seasonal Maiden the Ric of Flair was? Summer, I guess. As RWBY has shown me, the only way you can absorb someone's power is if you kill a Maiden. But, getting back on topic, my newfound power gets me one step closer to becoming as powerful as Grandfather was.

To clarify Lord Ren's wording, he means that Maidens are the only people whose powers can be transferred to another. Kinda like One for A- begins choking

What did I tell you about referencing that inferior knockoff of RWBY?

*pained* Actually Lord Ren, Boku no Hero Academia is the show RWBY wishes it w-

What was that? intensifies choke

N-nothing, Lord Ren.

Good. *drops FN-2119 to the ground* I have never been able to maintain the grip for so long before... but I'm getting sidetracked. Of course I'd be willing to assist in locating your master, Face. I need to repay your faith in me-something neither Father nor Skywalker had.

*grumbling* Don't think I'll forget this, Kacchan...

You know the reference flew over my head,right?

VolticSurge fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Jan 24, 2018

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
All right! Here's the match card and the time for saturday. You can also vote for who's gonna be in the bonus match. It's also the last show before our next Special Show (which I think is a better name than PPV, because that implies that a purchase is necessary somehow, then again, maybe I shouldn't use a term that can be abbreviated with SS...). It'll be Monday Night Raw!!! On a Saturday.

I'd also like to know from you what your favorite matches were so far. In the future I'll probably run a poll for Match of the Night but for past matches you can just throw me some you still remember and enjoyed.


#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham (c) vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine (c)

#5 Singles Match
Link vs. anilEhilated

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote for who's gonna be in it here.

CptWedgie
Jul 19, 2015
Voting DCB because I want to give her a chance to win at least once. Yes, this means I expect Nadira to beat her; this should not surprise you.

Double May Care
Mar 28, 2012

We need Dragon-type Pokemon to help us prepare our food before we cook it. We're not sure why!

DCB, I know you've been struggling for a while, and I think I have the solution.

Val reveals a small vial of sticky black powder.

I'm going to level with you: I don't know what this is going to do. It's a combination of a few medicinal plants and extracts of some moon stuff. That and your coffee should be... well, it should produce a result. I'm going to leave this with you, and it's up to you if you want to take it.

Take it, take it, take it! Put it in your venti toasted caramel frappuccino with non-dairy whip and toffee sprinkles! Grow stronger, go faster, be better!

I believe in you, DCB. I believe that you don't need this, but it's yours.

You need it! You crave it! Look at me, I'm the champion! The champion knows, she does! I am the taste of victory!

Good luck out there.

Val looks at the reflection on her phone, at the dark figure staring back at her.

I thought I got rid of you.

You can't get rid of me! I'm like your Black Parade fanart: I will live forever!

Kadorhal
Jun 3, 2013

Look, just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.
Come in, Agent 825.

Crunatus.

Time is short, so I'll be brief. We have reason to believe there's still suspicion about the disappearance of this Threemen fellow.

Shaantitus?

Not quite at that level, yet, but we still need to allay these fears right away. And you're currently our best infiltrator... you can guess what I'm hinting at, correct?

Pretaanluxis?

No, no no no, God no! We're going to need something a bit more subtle than a zombie with an axe killing everyone.

Ah... Desco malax, hatanoceo shaantitus.

Precisely. I'll leave you to it.

Bhuuesco... caecux...






Exim'ha.

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Going live in about 15 minutes: https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
#1 Dr. Ham (c) vs. Thundercat Chris Pine for Buscus Title
#2 D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp
#3 Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
#4 Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine (c) for Bunny Title :3
#5 Link vs. anilEhilated
Main Event: Haunted Wood vs. Fred Hope and Flamancer (c) for Co-Comm Titles
Bonus: Palpatine vs. Kurt Angle

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Wow, what a show. You can put in your vote for Match of the Night here http://www.strawpoll.me/14943743

Results

#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham (c) vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
Dr. Ham treats Chris Pine to some back pains with the Miracle Spine-O-Cracker

Scene: Nuffkins considers opponents for his title defense at Monday Night Raw and settles on BNF, who's taken on a behind the scenes role by now, to earn the rights to wear a kilt just like his,

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp
Bone Pimp showed off all his moves, but D got the better of him

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Not like this... (double count-out)

Scene: Kylo is REALLY sorry that he failed to avenge the death of Palpy, who never died. He just exploded and got better.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine (c)
MGM outta nowhere! But Palpy reverses it, oh no! And then he elbow drops onto MGM's butt and goes for the 1-2-3...

Scene: Fruity and Link discuss Hugs before Link reveals that he's gonna beat up anil to earn a match against Palpy

#5 Singles Match
Link vs. anilEhilated
Link got is rear end kicked so hard! But holy crap, what a comeback. anil goes down after the second Sunset Flip Power Bomb

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander (c)
The WO takes the win! See guys? It doesn't always take the WORM. Anyway, this means Freddie and Flamander retain

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Palpatine vs. Kurt Angle
Kurt took, like, three Palpy Moves, one Galactic Elbow, one Imperial Power Bomb and some other poo poo while Palpy took two Triple-Germans, one Ankle Lock and two Angle Slams before he finally stayed down for the 3-count.
Angle will return next week to beat another of our guys with a broken freaking neck. Oh it's true. It's drat true.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

IGgy IGsen posted:

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Not like this... (double count-out)

So... I didn't get beat! I mean, I didn't win, but still! That's... that's progress, right?

*sigh*...

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Episode 11 - Lousy Path Finding Wastes Aplenty - (Twitch VOD)
Episode Title by Zephyr

Other submitted titles are:
Loser's Posterier loving Wrecked Absolutely -crow
Lumber Puncher Flamander Watches Anxiously - Flamander
Loyal Partner Freddie Wins Altruastically -crow
Loss Precipitated From Wrestling Altruism -crow
Long Pause 'Fore Win, A'ight? -crow

IGgy IGsen posted:

All right! Here's the match card and the time for saturday. You can also vote for who's gonna be in the bonus match. It's also the last show before our next Special Show (which I think is a better name than PPV, because that implies that a purchase is necessary somehow, then again, maybe I shouldn't use a term that can be abbreviated with SS...). It'll be Monday Night Raw!!! On a Saturday.

I'd also like to know from you what your favorite matches were so far. In the future I'll probably run a poll for Match of the Night but for past matches you can just throw me some you still remember and enjoyed.


#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham (c) vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine (c)

#5 Singles Match
Link vs. anilEhilated

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote for who's gonna be in it here.

Rather Watch Them posted:

DCB, I know you've been struggling for a while, and I think I have the solution.

Val reveals a small vial of sticky black powder.

I'm going to level with you: I don't know what this is going to do. It's a combination of a few medicinal plants and extracts of some moon stuff. That and your coffee should be... well, it should produce a result. I'm going to leave this with you, and it's up to you if you want to take it.

Take it, take it, take it! Put it in your venti toasted caramel frappuccino with non-dairy whip and toffee sprinkles! Grow stronger, go faster, be better!

I believe in you, DCB. I believe that you don't need this, but it's yours.

You need it! You crave it! Look at me, I'm the champion! The champion knows, she does! I am the taste of victory!

Good luck out there.

Val looks at the reflection on her phone, at the dark figure staring back at her.

I thought I got rid of you.

You can't get rid of me! I'm like your Black Parade fanart: I will live forever!

Kadorhal posted:

Come in, Agent 825.

Crunatus.

Time is short, so I'll be brief. We have reason to believe there's still suspicion about the disappearance of this Threemen fellow.

Shaantitus?

Not quite at that level, yet, but we still need to allay these fears right away. And you're currently our best infiltrator... you can guess what I'm hinting at, correct?

Pretaanluxis?

No, no no no, God no! We're going to need something a bit more subtle than a zombie with an axe killing everyone.

Ah... Desco malax, hatanoceo shaantitus.

Precisely. I'll leave you to it.

Bhuuesco... caecux...






Exim'ha.


IGgy IGsen posted:

Wow, what a show. You can put in your vote for Match of the Night here http://www.strawpoll.me/14943743

Results

#1 Buscus Brawl
Dr. Ham (c) vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
Dr. Ham treats Chris Pine to some back pains with the Miracle Spine-O-Cracker

Scene: Nuffkins considers opponents for his title defense at Monday Night Raw and settles on BNF, who's taken on a behind the scenes role by now, to earn the rights to wear a kilt just like his,

#2 Singles Match
D the Destroyer vs. Bone Pimp
Bone Pimp showed off all his moves, but D got the better of him

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Not like this... (double count-out)

Scene: Kylo is REALLY sorry that he failed to avenge the death of Palpy, who never died. He just exploded and got better.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Palpatine (c)
MGM outta nowhere! But Palpy reverses it, oh no! And then he elbow drops onto MGM's butt and goes for the 1-2-3...

Scene: Fruity and Link discuss Hugs before Link reveals that he's gonna beat up anil to earn a match against Palpy

#5 Singles Match (Match of the Night)
Link vs. anilEhilated
Link got is rear end kicked so hard! But holy crap, what a comeback. anil goes down after the second Sunset Flip Power Bomb

#6 Co-Comm Title Match
Woolsey Smythe and a tree vs. Fred Hope and Flamander (c)
The WO takes the win! See guys? It doesn't always take the WORM. Anyway, this means Freddie and Flamander retain

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Palpatine vs. Kurt Angle
Kurt took, like, three Palpy Moves, one Galactic Elbow, one Imperial Power Bomb and some other poo poo while Palpy took two Triple-Germans, one Ankle Lock and two Angle Slams before he finally stayed down for the 3-count.
Angle will return next week to beat another of our guys with a broken freaking neck. Oh it's true. It's drat true.


DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

So... I didn't get beat! I mean, I didn't win, but still! That's... that's progress, right?

*sigh*...

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
I wanted to see Palpatine get demolished by an Angle Slam, and it happened twice. So as far as I'm concerned, this was a drat good show this week.

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
All right, here's the match card for this saturday. Here's the exact time and date.
You can vote on Kurt Angles opponent here.
You can make predictions on match outcomes here


#1 Four-Way
Dash Rendar vs. Lore Convoluter vs. El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

#2 Singles Match
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan

#3 Tag Team
The Sons of the Mask vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander

#4 LP Superstar Championship
Face vs. a tree (c)

#5 Falls Count Anywhere
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#6 Bunny Championship
Link vs. Palpatine (c)

#7 Kawaii Championship
Lady of the Lancet vs. Valerie Easton (c)

#8 LPFWA Championship
BNF vs. nuffkinsVEVO (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Whoever you decide vs. Kurt Angle

Kadorhal
Jun 3, 2013

Look, just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.
I suppose I should have expected this. Ren got his chance at facing the tree one-on-one, and now it's my turn. Well, Mr. Tree, I hope you recall how our first tag match against one another went.

And not, y'know, how your one-on-one with Ren went.



I'm going to win this time, is what I'm getting at.



Also, before we fight, can I pin a missing poster on you, since you're a tree and all? Still haven't seen the boss lately, he owes me like a month of pay.



Elsewhere...

I... am... Three... men... Ah, the third man is I. Eh... three person is... Third human is... AAAGH, INVISUX! MARANA HATANOCEO MALAX!

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
That's right, Nadira! If you want to knock me unconscious outside the ring again, you'll have to pin me after! The people deserve to see a winner!

...which I'm hoping is me! In case that wasn't clear!

So... yeah!

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises
Ahh...that was a great nap. Ah! How long have you been there!?

About twenty minutes, your majesty. Just wanted to update you on that monster you wanted. Unfortunately, you still have too much of an outstanding debt with NME for us to sell you another monster.

What?! I'm royalty dang it, now you send over one of your big guys, like Octacon, or that Ice Dragon!

Unfortunately, as I said, there is no way that we can send you another monster until your debt is paid. However, we do have an alternative payment option...

Well? What is it!?

Simply obtain any of the title belts, while providing advertisement for NME. It's a win-win, you receive a title, and NME gets some free advertising. What do you say?

I suppose I have no choice...

Looks like the Masked Man...is selling out.

Double May Care
Mar 28, 2012

We need Dragon-type Pokemon to help us prepare our food before we cook it. We're not sure why!

Valerie is, honest to god, actually training.

What's the matter, Val-uh-rie? You look like Death!

I haven't been in the ring for a couple weeks. I'm getting rusty, and Lady is a fighter that makes me nervous.

No, I mean your get-up! Why are you cosplaying as a Sandman character?

This is who I am.

Aww, I thought I was!

That was a long time ago.

Val moves to an elliptical machine and pedals like hell.

Not long to me! You think I'm ancient history, but I'm a stronger force than you... You remember the first time you heard Evanescence? How your mind expanded! You knew from that moment that this was real! That I, that we are not a phase! Wouldn't you agree, Valxis Ravenblood?!

Val lurches over the handlebars and catches her breath.

Don't ever say that name again. God, that sounds ridiculous.

You take yourself too seriously... Remember where you are! Remember who you are!

I'm a damned professional! I'm not going to lean on being "crazy girl" to get ahead.

Well I hope the commentators can tell you and the Lady apart! Two women with dark hair, a black'n'blue color scheme, and a cold lifeless demeanor, together in the ring! Brilliant!

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
#1 Dash Rendar vs. Lore Convoluter vs. El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp
#2 Samus Aran vs. Jumpy-Chan
#3 Sons of the Mask vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander (c) for the Co-Comm Titles
#4 Face vs. a tree (c) for the LP Superstar Title
#5 Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
#6 Link vs. Palpatine (c) for the Bunny Title :3
#7 Lady of the Lancet vs. Valerie Easton (c) for the Kawaii Title
Main Event: BNF vs. nuffkinsVEVO (c) for the LPFWA Title
Bonus Match: IGgy vs. Kurt Angle

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Episode 12 - MONDAY NIGHT RAW - (Twitch VOD)
Legit Player Flamander Wormed Again - Tevery Best

Live!, Play Fighting, Worming Action - yerpalhal
Look Pop! (A) Formidable Worming Astronaut! - Zephyr
Low-Paid Fighter Wormed Astoundingly - tevery best
Lost Pugilist Finds Worming Again - Zephyr
Light Purple Ftracksuitlines Worm Afforded - Tevery Best
League Presents: Flamander's Worm Adidas - Tevery Best
Large Person Fights Worm Attack - Deathmaster780
Logic Pertaining (to) Formation (of) Worming Announced - Zephyr

As far as predictions go let me actually give you some stats. First of all, let's look at what everyone voted.

It's a bit split here but we have one clear favorite! The debuting El Catire Arrecho!



Wow, no one believed in Jumpy. Let's go against the odds! Rapadooooooo!


Honestly, people believing That Hope and Flamander are gonna take it is absolutely reasonable, given that Masked Man was a former Buscus Champion and he poo poo talked D the Destroyer before. So their chemistry probably sucks.


With how dominant a tree has been as the LP Superstar Champion it's a bit surprising to see such an even split between the two. But it's true Face did not do poorly as a time with Kylo or on his own so far.


I'm not sure how much of this 50/50 split being actual predictions and how much is just people wanting DCB to win. I too want to see her succeed, she deserves it! She never did bad, just always fell just short. But we all believe in you DCB! You can do it!


Link made sure he earned that shot before he actually got it so it's no surprise to see that he is the favorite in this match-up. He had a 5-star classic just last week after all.


Much like Hell-Ena before her Valerie proved to be a dominant champion so far. Lady of the Lancet, however, only recently started showing her true potential. People don't seem to be sure yet her recent success wasn't just a fluke.


No one knows BNF and Nuffkins hasn't lost any matches so far. So I'm not too sure why I should be surprised of these predictions.


Considering that this "whoever" was me it should be clear that people are voting for Kurt Angle


And now! Let's tally up the predictions people actually got right.
1. Fruitsniffer: 6
2. Vanderlyle: 5
3. Crow: 4
3. yerpalhal: 4
5. Rather Watch Them: 3
5. Anonymous: 3
7. Hitlers Gay Secret: 1

IGgy IGsen posted:

All right, here's the match card for this saturday. Here's the exact time and date.
You can vote on Kurt Angles opponent here.
You can make predictions on match outcomes here


#1 Four-Way
Dash Rendar vs. Lore Convoluter vs. El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

#2 Singles Match
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan

#3 Tag Team
The Sons of the Mask vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander

#4 LP Superstar Championship
Face vs. a tree (c)

#5 Falls Count Anywhere
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#6 Bunny Championship
Link vs. Palpatine (c)

#7 Kawaii Championship
Lady of the Lancet vs. Valerie Easton (c)

#8 LPFWA Championship
BNF vs. nuffkinsVEVO (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Whoever you decide vs. Kurt Angle

Kadorhal posted:

I suppose I should have expected this. Ren got his chance at facing the tree one-on-one, and now it's my turn. Well, Mr. Tree, I hope you recall how our first tag match against one another went.

And not, y'know, how your one-on-one with Ren went.



I'm going to win this time, is what I'm getting at.



Also, before we fight, can I pin a missing poster on you, since you're a tree and all? Still haven't seen the boss lately, he owes me like a month of pay.



Elsewhere...

I... am... Three... men... Ah, the third man is I. Eh... three person is... Third human is... AAAGH, INVISUX! MARANA HATANOCEO MALAX!

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

That's right, Nadira! If you want to knock me unconscious outside the ring again, you'll have to pin me after! The people deserve to see a winner!

...which I'm hoping is me! In case that wasn't clear!

So... yeah!

Pyroi posted:

Ahh...that was a great nap. Ah! How long have you been there!?

About twenty minutes, your majesty. Just wanted to update you on that monster you wanted. Unfortunately, you still have too much of an outstanding debt with NME for us to sell you another monster.

What?! I'm royalty dang it, now you send over one of your big guys, like Octacon, or that Ice Dragon!

Unfortunately, as I said, there is no way that we can send you another monster until your debt is paid. However, we do have an alternative payment option...

Well? What is it!?

Simply obtain any of the title belts, while providing advertisement for NME. It's a win-win, you receive a title, and NME gets some free advertising. What do you say?

I suppose I have no choice...

Looks like the Masked Man...is selling out.

Rather Watch Them posted:

Valerie is, honest to god, actually training.

What's the matter, Val-uh-rie? You look like Death!

I haven't been in the ring for a couple weeks. I'm getting rusty, and Lady is a fighter that makes me nervous.

No, I mean your get-up! Why are you cosplaying as a Sandman character?

This is who I am.

Aww, I thought I was!

That was a long time ago.

Val moves to an elliptical machine and pedals like hell.

Not long to me! You think I'm ancient history, but I'm a stronger force than you... You remember the first time you heard Evanescence? How your mind expanded! You knew from that moment that this was real! That I, that we are not a phase! Wouldn't you agree, Valxis Ravenblood?!

Val lurches over the handlebars and catches her breath.

Don't ever say that name again. God, that sounds ridiculous.

You take yourself too seriously... Remember where you are! Remember who you are!

I'm a damned professional! I'm not going to lean on being "crazy girl" to get ahead.

Well I hope the commentators can tell you and the Lady apart! Two women with dark hair, a black'n'blue color scheme, and a cold lifeless demeanor, together in the ring! Brilliant!

Vanderlyle, post:73, topic:2484, full:true posted:

“Muy bien, after beating that weird monster last week, I feel like I’m ready for the big show, it’s time to show everybody what El Catire Arrecho is made of.”


quote:

#1 Four-Way
Dash Rendar vs. Lore Convoluter vs. El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp
Our newcomer El Catire Arrecho takes the win by pinning Bone Pimp!

Scene - Hugrule Warriors: Impressed with Catire Arrecho's performance Link and Fruity ask him to join them in their new team: The Hugrule Warriors. He gladly accepts

#2 Singles Match
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan
Jumpy hits the End of Heartache on Samus for the one two three!!!

Scene - D Mask Reconciliation: Masked Man and D argue a bit because Masked Man said some things about D during an interview but in the end Masked Man lulls D into helping him once more. Heh, sucker

#3 Tag Team
The Sons of the Mask vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander
They do some things but in the end Flamander DOES THE loving WORM HOLY poo poo! and a bit later Flamander also pins D, noting to see here

Scene - Palpy is not dead!: Face explains to Kylo that Palpy is not dead no! He really isn't!

#4 LP Superstar Championship
Face vs. a tree (c)
A tree fell in the middle of nowhere with no one to hear except the entire crowd and face. Does it make a sound? Yes, one two three. A tree retains yet again

#5 Falls Count Anywhere
Nadira vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Unfortunately DCB did not win...

Scene - Strategy Meeting: The Hugrule Warriors hold their strategy session and arrive at the conclusion that in order to defeat Palpy they need to beat him at his own game. In the end they realize that that would make them just as bad as him so they opt to just come out as a unit and not do anything

#6 Bunny Championship
Link vs. Palpatine (c)
The Hugrule Warriors come out as a unit and don't do anything so the oRa66 just do their thing. It's DQ, Palpy loses by DQ

Scene - Debriefing: Their swift defeat does not break the spirits of the Hugrule Warriors and they brainstorm ways to easily refer to El Catire Arrecho somehow and then leave to figure out how to find the Triforce of Wisdom

#7 Kawaii Championship
Lady of the Lancet vs. Valerie Easton (c)
In an only somewhat surprising upset, Lady of the Lancet takes the win and the titles

Scene - Golden Lovers?: Val tumbles backstage, upset over her defeat. Hell-Ena shows up but Val dismisses her, stating that she made it clear that she cannot tame her, wondering what she wants from her. Ref Joe shows up out of nowhere telling her Hell-Ena probably has the hots for her. But Val tells Joe off for stalking her despite her no longer holding the Pokeymanz title

#8 LPFWA Championship
BNF vs. nuffkinsVEVO (c)
BNF must have gotten rusty because Nuffkins actually won and in his mind now has the right to wear a yellow kilt

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
IGgy vs. Kurt Angle
I gave it a good shot but in the end I cannot win against Kurt Angle one won an olympic gold medal with a broken freaking neck. Oh it's true, it's drat true

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Feb 4, 2018

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
I forgot to post this yesterday, oops.

Next show will be on Saturday
You can vote for who goes against Kurt Angle here. So far Palpatine and IGgy failed to beat him.

#1 Buscus Brawl - There's no coming back from being elbow'd on the rear end.
Thundercat Chris Pine (c) vs. Majestic Goat-Man

#2 Singles Match
El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Konami Kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Star Pilot Flamander vs. Palpatine (c)

#5 Elimination
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton

#6 LP Superstar Title
Fruitsniffer vs. a tree (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Whoever you vote for vs. Kurt Angle

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Thundercat Chris Pine (c) vs. Majestic Goat-Man for the Buscus
2nd Match: El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp
3rd Match: konami kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
4th Match: Star Pilot Flamander vs. Palpatine (c) for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton
Main Event: Fruitsniffer vs. a tree (c) for the LP Superstar Title
Bonus Match: Toad vs. Kurt Angle

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013
Eh, can't say I'm sad to be rid of that godawful belt... especially after it tried to kill me once itself.
Lord Sidious, my master, your loss will be avenged, I swear it!
Just do me a favour and don't actually win that pastel foamy piece of poo poo. It's been so long since I've been allowed to come out to my own entrance that I don't know if I remember how it even goes anymore.
You sure that just ain't the Alzheimer's kickin' in there, boss?
You know, I'd fire you, but I don't want to go looking for someone else to distract the refs for me. Oh! Galen! You're back already. How was your trip to the garbage smasher? Sorry if it might have turned on on you... intentionally.
I found your trombone, sir.
...The gently caress do I own a trombone for?

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Episode #13 - Ladies' Plan Foiled; Witch Again! - (Twitch VOD)

IGgy IGsen posted:

I forgot to post this yesterday, oops.

Next show will be on Saturday
You can vote for who goes against Kurt Angle here. So far Palpatine and IGgy failed to beat him.

#1 Buscus Brawl - There's no coming back from being elbow'd on the rear end.
Thundercat Chris Pine (c) vs. Majestic Goat-Man

#2 Singles Match
El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles Match
Konami Kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Star Pilot Flamander vs. Palpatine (c)

#5 Elimination
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton

#6 LP Superstar Title
Fruitsniffer vs. a tree (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Whoever you vote for vs. Kurt Angle

Vanderlyle, post:77, topic:2484, full:true posted:

“Well, señor Bone Pimp, look’s like we’re fighting again, but this time, sera mano a mano, and I’ll…uh…beat you, for sure, asi sera”





Results posted:

#1 Buscus Brawl
Thundercat Chris Pine (c) vs. Majestic Goat-Man
Great match, lots of back and forth, but in the end the man-cat defeats the goat-man

#2 Singles Match
El Catire Arrecho vs. Bone Pimp
Catire Arrecho could not take the win in his debut, unfortunately. Instead Bone Pimp picks up his first win

Scene: The Hugrule Warriors lament Catire Arrecho's debut loss but hype up Fruity for his title match later this night

#3 Singles Match
Konami Kouda vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
DCB beats up Konami so hard she can't make it back to the ring in time for the ref's count to hit ten. DCB WINS!

Scene: Jeff Lyfe is with DCB for a post-match interview. DCB states that she feels empty after this win, making some kind of coffee metaphor. The only way to truly win is to pin or submit, and that is DCB's new quest. Baby steps.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Star Pilot Flamander vs. Palpatine (c)
Somehow no one expected it but Palpy did indeed finally lose. After 6 successful defenses his reign of terror finally ends (probably). Flamander is the new Bunny Champion :3

Scene: Jumpy demands a title shot next week. IGgy demands she earn the shot first, revealing that the upcoming match is a match to establish the order of contendership for the Kawaii Title

#5 Elimination
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton
First Samus is eliminated after being hit with a DEVASTATING seven rotations of the Giant Swing from Junpei (though, Val snatched the pin). Finally Val takes the win, earning a title rematch, but only after three Kisses of Death against Jumpy

#6 LP Superstar Title
Fruitsniffer vs. a tree (c)
Fruity attempted to become a tree-hugger but failed. The tree fought back and fell onto Fruity for the 1-2-3


#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Toad vs. Kurt Angle
[spoiler]Toad and Kurt Angle fight to determine who's the most american. You'd think the guy who won an olympic gold medal for the US with a broken neck would win by default, but no. Toad, a mascot character from a japanese video game series is the one to take the win after two F-U-2s


nine-gear crow posted:

Eh, can't say I'm sad to be rid of that godawful belt... especially after it tried to kill me once itself.
Lord Sidious, my master, your loss will be avenged, I swear it!
Just do me a favour and don't actually win that pastel foamy piece of poo poo. It's been so long since I've been allowed to come out to my own entrance that I don't know if I remember how it even goes anymore.
You sure that just ain't the Alzheimer's kickin' in there, boss?
You know, I'd fire you, but I don't want to go looking for someone else to distract the refs for me. Oh! Galen! You're back already. How was your trip to the garbage smasher? Sorry if it might have turned on on you... intentionally.
I found your trombone, sir.
...The gently caress do I own a trombone for?

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Livestream from Toad's locker:


: WHO'S DA BEST?

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Wait, what happened again?

Are we sure this isn't like that time I used the non-dairy creamer that went bad and ended up hallucinating for a few days?







...no, seriously, is this real life?

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Feb 18, 2018

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Wait, what happened again?

Are we sure this isn't like that time I used the non-dairy creamer that went bad and ended up hallucinating for a few days?







...no, seriously, is this real life?

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice
Livestream from Toad's locker:


: WHO'S DA BEST?

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Livestream from Toad's locker:


: WHO'S DA BEST?

Oh, it's Toad. It's drat Toad.

Aesculus
Mar 22, 2013

Are registrations still open for wrestlers? I submitted a guy a while ago (Macro Man) but forgot to post and I'm not sure if the roster is full now or not.

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Yeh. Submissions are open. I'm just slowly working myself through them all. Your character's on my list.

IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
He yo!

The next episode will happen on Saturday
Since Ric Flair has been defeated by Toad we need to find a new opponent as well as someone to challenge them. You can vote on that here

I've added a bot to my twitch for the next stream which will allow for actually placing bets as the show goes on and starting chants that will be audible on stream. I will probably tweak the latter if it gets too much.

You can find the match card below. We're alreaedy building to our next PPV, Sacrific-E

#1 Buscus Brawl
Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Lore Convoluter

#2 Singles
Lotus Aura vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles
Tolvie vs. DCB

#4 Bunny Championship
Kylo Ren vs. Star Pilot Flamander

#5 Trio Tornado Tag
Angus McMutton, Tommy Wiseau and Schir vs. Hugrule Warriors

#6 Kawaii Championship (Hardcore Match)
Valerie Easton vs. Lady of the Lancet (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote who's goin against who!

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IGgy IGsen
Apr 11, 2013

"If I lose I will set myself on fire."
Show starts in roughly six hours but here's a new challenger! I normally just post these on Discord these days but the person who submitted this beauty isn't on there, I think.

Macro Man Keynes


Also, in case you've missed it which, unless you obsessively check the poll...

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