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ALFbrot posted:Five Nights at Freddy's is a jumpscare game about a grimdark pizza place full of murderous animatronic animals that enraptured a nation of youtube manchildren who pretended to scream a lot, gaining untold billions of elementary school fans along the way. It also has a really needlessly complicated back story that was dished out in bits and pieces over the course of the series. It's also spawned two novels, the first one I read because I hate myself. It was bad.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:20
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Shageletic posted:What's this Five Nights thing and why is it terrible? It was a series of indie horror games where you work as a security guard at a haunted Chuck E Cheeses after hours, with basic mechanics but a decent aesthetic. It's terrible because it had fanbase of children and obnoxious youtube personalities.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:21
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ALFbrot posted:Five Nights at Freddy's is a jumpscare game about a grimdark pizza place full of murderous animatronic animals that enraptured a nation of youtube manchildren who pretended to scream a lot, gaining untold billions of elementary school fans along the way. man I love that I missed this.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:22
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The first game was legit fun and I'm glad the guy made a lot of money for his efforts and made a cool setting but yeah the fan base, oh boy. But the sequels were all very clearly designed around that particular type of gaming where you watch people react to stuff on a stream.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:23
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The first FNAF was actually a really great piece of game design that used the limitations of the creator's skill set in interesting ways. (the game's designer made it about haunted animatronic characters because everyone criticized his animation and modelling skills as making Uncanny Valley humans, so he turned that into an asset). The game also only gives you a jump scare if you screw up, continually adds and speeds up mechanics as the game progresses, and has a neat act/level structure. It's not bad. He was able to build on it because it was so good.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:25
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Woe to the pitiable soul who unwittingly finds themselves in a discussion about the FNAF “lore.” No light reaches those eldritch depths.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:28
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Fart City posted:Woe to the pitiable soul who unwittingly finds themselves in a discussion about the FNAF “lore.” No light reaches those eldritch depths. I hope that Columbus finds himself as slavishly devoted to it as he was to the soulless word-for-word Harry Potter movies he farted out
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Feb 12, 2018 20:28
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ALFbrot posted:Even Chris Columbus's good movies border on very bad Home Alone, Mrs Doubtfire, uhhhhh.... That's all I've got.  I guess Adventures In Babysitting had a nice poster.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:30
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FilthyImp posted:I'm not calling for the removal or lessening of either. I guess I was just disappointed that the visual language for the whole Jedi was based on one character? You’re not entirely wrong, but you are getting the causality mixed up. Narratively, the prequel characters are dressed that way to show that they are ‘sellout’ versions of the ‘original’ Obiwan and Yoda. That’s what you’re picking up on. But, plotwise, Obiwan doesn’t need a disguise because he’s not actually hiding - just living as a hermit on an impoverished feudal planet where everyone wears cloaks anyways and nobody has seen a Jedi before. The combined point is that Obiwan is finally in his element - he belongs in the desert. But there are like eight Star Wars threads.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:33
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Wheat Loaf posted:Home Alone, Mrs Doubtfire, uhhhhh.... That's all I've got. That's pretty much the list.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:34
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Shageletic posted:What's this Five Nights thing and why is it terrible? The series is also somewhat notable because the guy realized he had captured lightning in a bottle at shat out games at a rate that makes Madden/rear end Creed producers blush. 1 came out in August 2014. 2 was in November. 3 took a whole 5 months to produce, and was released in March 2015. 4 was supposed to be released in October 2015, but he realized the thing was losing momentum, so it got pushed up to August then July. It's just about the platonic ideal for a Blumhouse horror film, really.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:37
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Columbus gets a lot of credit for his work on Harry Potter, and rightfully so. Sure, they were eclipsed by a few of the later sequels, but Columbus had a really tough task in adapting such an expansive world to film. Chamber of Secrets was really important, fans were going to give Sorcerer's Stone plenty of leeway but if Chamber of Secrets was a disaster the franchise may not have survived it.
Basebf555 fucked around with this message at 20:42 on Feb 12, 2018 |
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Feb 12, 2018 20:39
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honestly i spent one night reading FNAF lore and it kinda creeped me out. it's a very early 90s fear of a creepy child molester kidnapping and murdering a child at a cheap Chuck-E-Cheese knockoff, and the designs of the animatronics are genuinely unsettling. i have no idea how they're going to make this a movie for children though considering they don't let movies about murdered children and criminals having their limbs ripped off by a semi-animatronic fursuit into the hands of kids. But god bless video games, right? edit: poo poo i know he's now out of the right price range but I bet the guy who made IT would do a real good job with FNAF edit: i have not played any of the games nor do i have any desire to because i'm pretty sure it would ruin the images I've created in my head.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:43
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I will give credit to Chris Columbus for directing Bicentennial Man, a film that I believe is still running at this very moment off of its initial premiere screening, almost twenty years later.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:44
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Didn't his original script for Gremlins go a lot darker than the eventual movie and Spielberg had him scale it back or am I thinking of the reverse? Yeah "The film's script went through a few drafts before a shooting script was finalized. The first version was much darker than the final film. Various scenes were cut, including one which portrayed Billy's mother dying in her struggle with the gremlins, with her head thrown down the stairs when Billy arrives. Dante later explained the scene made the film darker than the filmmakers wanted. There was also a scene where the gremlins ate Billy's dog and a scene where the gremlins attacked a McDonald's, eating customers instead of burgers. Also, instead of Stripe being a mogwai who becomes a gremlin, there was originally no mogwai named Stripe; rather, Gizmo was supposed to transform into Stripe the gremlin. Spielberg overruled this plot element as he felt Gizmo was cute and that audiences would want him to be present throughout the film." Though in Columbus' defense he wrote it as a spec script and never actually intended it to get made. Macdeo Lurjtux fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Feb 12, 2018 |
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Feb 12, 2018 20:45
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One thing I think you can say for him is that he reportedly went out of his way to make sure the child cast in Harry Potter were able to remain reasonably well-adjusted and made sure their parents didn't start trying to push them in any directions because he'd had such a dreadful experience having to deal with Macaulay Culkin's dad when he was on Home Alone. In any event, has any multi-director franchise (probably one of the James Bonds, but I don't know them for their directors) had a bigger trade-up than Chis Columbus -> Alfonso Cuarón? 
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Feb 12, 2018 20:46
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I think a FNAF movie could be really good. It's a basic concept, but one I think a lot of people can get behind; who hasn't looked at a lovely animatronic or mascot outfit and felt a slight unease about it (besides all of you already mentally prepping a response about how it never spooked you)? The games definitely blew up in a way that nobody really expected, and the creator capitalized on that, but I think he did pretty good for himself. There's some creepy stuff in the backstory, definitely enough that Blumhouse and Columbus can craft a scary movie out of it.
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Feb 12, 2018 20:58
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It'd be funny if they played up the satire of a minimum wage security guard continuing to work at a chuck-e-cheese filled with homicidal robots because hey, at least it's a paycheck.
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Feb 12, 2018 21:04
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Basebf555 posted:Columbus gets a lot of credit for his work on Harry Potter, and rightfully so. Sure, they were eclipsed by a few of the later sequels, but Columbus had a really tough task in adapting such an expansive world to film. Chamber of Secrets was really important, fans were going to give Sorcerer's Stone plenty of leeway but if Chamber of Secrets was a disaster the franchise may not have survived it. If Sorcerer's Stone weren't so loving terrible because of the child actors, Chamber of Secrets would easily, EASILY be the worst Harry Potter. It's the longest one (it's almost 3 loving hours long) and the kids are still terrible actors. It's loving dogshit.
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Feb 12, 2018 21:06
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Yeah but Harry Potter still continued and that movie owned when I was 11.
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Feb 12, 2018 21:08
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Wheat Loaf posted:In any event, has any multi-director franchise (probably one of the James Bonds, but I don't know them for their directors) had a bigger trade-up than Chis Columbus -> Alfonso Cuarón? George Lucas to JJ Abrams Stuart Baird to JJ Abrams (I like JJ Abrams, but the gap between the previous director and him is pretty huge) Alan Taylor to Taika Waititi
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Feb 12, 2018 21:15
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Leavemywife posted:There's some creepy stuff in the backstory, definitely enough that Blumhouse and Columbus can craft a scary movie out of it. for reference: one of the key turning points of the backstory is "The Bite of '87," in which one of the animatronics hosed up and started chewing on a kid's head at his birthday party, leaving the kid in a vegetative state with a horrible brain injury. that bit, alone, would make a loving incredible found-footage short. just imagine, like, some lovely 80s home movie of a kid's Chuck E Cheese birthday party, but then all of a sudden you see one of the animatronics loving chewing on a kid like the birthday party from Signs turned up to 11.
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Feb 12, 2018 21:25
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Wheat Loaf posted:One thing I think you can say for him is that he reportedly went out of his way to make sure the child cast in Harry Potter were able to remain reasonably well-adjusted and made sure their parents didn't start trying to push them in any directions because he'd had such a dreadful experience having to deal with Macaulay Culkin's dad when he was on Home Alone. Blade Runner 2049 is technically a sequel to Soldier (as the screenwriter of Soldier, David Peoples was the co-writer of the OG Blade Runner and considered the Kurt Russell flick to be set in the same universe), and I can’t think of a more stark upgrade from Paul W.S Anderson than Denis Villenueve.
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Feb 12, 2018 21:30
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https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/michael-fassbender-star-kung-fury-feature-film-1083883 The last few years have not been kind for Fassbender. Man needs a better agent.
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Feb 12, 2018 22:10
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Wheat Loaf posted:In any event, has any multi-director franchise (probably one of the James Bonds, but I don't know them for their directors) had a bigger trade-up than Chis Columbus -> Alfonso Cuarón? The most high profile director (and one of the best received) in the Bond series was Sam Mendes for Skyfall, but then he went and made Spectre so its a bit of a wash really. Daniel Craig wanted Denis Villeneuve for the next one but be passed to work on Dune. red dead posted:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/michael-fassbender-star-kung-fury-feature-film-1083883 The creators of Danger 5 wept. Cacator fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Feb 12, 2018 |
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Feb 12, 2018 22:18
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Cacator posted:The most high profile director (and one of the best received) in the Bond series was Sam Mendes for Skyfall, but then he went and made Spectre so its a bit of a wash really. Sam Mendes was the American Beauty guy, wasn't he? I only really know Martin Campbell. I think he's done the best two of the past 30 years or so (GoldenEye and Casino Royale).
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Feb 12, 2018 22:22
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Wheat Loaf posted:Sam Mendes was the American Beauty guy, wasn't he? Yea I think Mendes' Skyfall is such a jarring jump in quality mostly because of everything surrounding the production of Quantum of Solace and not specifically about a lack of directing talent. And like you said, Casino Royale was excellent, so if we'd gone straight from that to Skyfall it wouldn't have felt like as much of a leap.
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Feb 12, 2018 22:24
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red dead posted:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/michael-fassbender-star-kung-fury-feature-film-1083883 RP1 better going flop so this gets snuffed out before the gears start turning on this.
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Feb 12, 2018 22:34
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There's already a FNAF movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suFroHhG86w
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Feb 12, 2018 22:48
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Waffles Inc. posted:No one responded to this likely because it's wrong and bad but um Obi-Wan's outfit is, in fact, different from Luke and Luke's Uncle's. And not just different, but pretty fuckin different Yeah, lol. He is visibly a hermit or a monk (he is attired more like a Jawa or a "sand person" than like Uncle Owen), in fact it's a testament to how good costuming is when it's not obvious. The idea that they're dressed the same because their clothes are made of the same material is totally absurd. The real outlier, of course, is Aunt Beru, who's just wearing something on sale from Gimbel's.
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Feb 12, 2018 22:52
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exquisite tea posted:It'd be funny if they played up the satire of a minimum wage security guard continuing to work at a chuck-e-cheese filled with homicidal robots because hey, at least it's a paycheck. This would actually be pretty good. Most likely they'll take the story from the first novel, it wraps a ton of the lore stuff into a more streamlined version, and the book is basically a "Fear Street" knock off as for quality and plot. Synopsis from what I remember: It's set in 1995 I think, so no cell phones. Actually a good idea. Daughter of dude who built the robots comes back to her home town for *Reasons*, meets up with childhood friends, most of whom also left town for *Reasons* related to the pizza place. Group goes to the old mall that is being renovated or something and find the old pizza place is still inside, but walled up. They explore and leave multiple times because it's gotta have 5 nights. They run into a security guard who is the killer and also was a partner in the business I think? He's named Dave. He sucks. Something something ghost children in the robots, Golden Freddy is the dead friend of the group and he saves them It was a really dumb book but it's kinda funny for some of the bad writing.
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Feb 12, 2018 22:55
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Detective No. 27 posted:RP1 better going flop so this gets snuffed out before the gears start turning on this. How many virgins do we need to sacrifice to Satan to make this happen?
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Feb 12, 2018 23:01
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red dead posted:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/michael-fassbender-star-kung-fury-feature-film-1083883 Really sucks that Assassins Creed was as broke-rear end and boring as it was. In better hands that could have been a perfect vehicle for someone with Fassbender’s handle on language. Having him play different ancestors in subsequent films would have been a lot of fun.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:07
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Better hands than Justin Kurzel? Assassin's Creed was dope.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:13
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Eh. I don’t think anyone is going to disagree with the assessment that it burned out some very good potential, and kneecapped what could have been Fassbender’s personal, headlining franchise. It was just okay when it had no reason not to be great.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:16
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ALFbrot posted:I hope that Columbus finds himself as slavishly devoted to it as he was to the soulless word-for-word Harry Potter movies he farted out I think it's pretty depressing that this seems to have taken hold as a majority opinion. Looking back at the series, Columbus's entries are the only two that hold up as good cinema. (Prisoner of Azkaban and Fantastic Beasts come close; Fantastic Beasts 2 probably won't.) Were they slavishly committed to being straight adaptations of the books? Maybe, but by Deathly Hallows 2, the series was definitely slavishly committed to being generic Marvel-y Hollywood Blockbuster Events, which I would call a definite downgrade. Rowling isn't a great writer, far from it, and she's gotten worse over time. But she's good at writing things that are weird and uncanny, and just putting those things onscreen sets a significantly more unique and compelling tone than whatever Script-Doc-Bot-5000 can come up with to optimize ticket sales. Also worth noting that Columbus's HP films aren't literally or spiritually "soulless word-for-word adaptations" - on the one hand, yes, they deviate from the book all over the place, while maintaining its basic spirit and tone. And on the other hand, do you have any idea how much work it is setting up shots and deciding how to edit a scene to properly create a tone? For gently caress's sake, it's not just "hmm, I don't feel like paying a real screenwriter, I'm just going to use the book instead, now I don't have to do anything, paycheck please". When people say that Columbus's films were just identical to the books, whereas the later films improved upon the books by taking liberties in adaptation, they're making a very basic mistake: Columbus's films weren't literally identical to the books, they were tonally identical to the books. The later films didn't give a poo poo about being anything like the books, which is kind of dumb given that they're ostensibly supposed to be adaptations of them. It's certainly the case that the later films make plot and character decisions that are objectively better writing than the books; I think a better adaptation would probably make the same changes. But the later films don't feel much like the books at all, whereas the earlier films do. Harry Potter is supposedly a series that grows with its audience, but this is largely a matter of the events taking place. In terms of writing, Philosopher's Stone and Deathly Hallows are very similar books, whereas the films feel like they were made by completely different people for completely different purposes because, well, they were. Can you even imagine how Columbus would have adapted the later books? It would have been the best poo poo ever. People would have been dying left and right, there'd be plotlines with date rape drugs and torture and genocide, but it'd all still be in that childish Home-Alone-but-with-CGI-magic-tricks style. That's the spirit of Harry Potter right there. (As an aside, Home Alone is also pretty great, one of the few childhood favorites that really does stand up to a proper examination. Home Alone 2 isn't "great", but it is an interesting intellectual exercise, in the same sense that a shot-for-shot remake of a classic film is.) In any case, film was really the wrong medium for a Harry Potter adaptation anyway; it would have been better as some kind of television serial with one season per book. Doing that would entail adding a lot of new plotlines and so forth in places, but as long as it was done in the spirit of the original, I think it'd make for quality storytelling.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:17
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21 Muns posted:I think it's pretty depressing that this seems to have taken hold as a majority opinion. Looking back at the series, Columbus's entries are the only two that hold up as good cinema. (Prisoner of Azkaban and Fantastic Beasts come close; Fantastic Beasts 2 probably won't.) Were they slavishly committed to being straight adaptations of the books? Maybe, but by Deathly Hallows 2, the series was definitely slavishly committed to being generic Marvel-y Hollywood Blockbuster Events, which I would call a definite downgrade. Rowling isn't a great writer, far from it, and she's gotten worse over time. But she's good at writing things that are weird and uncanny, and just putting those things onscreen sets a significantly more unique and compelling tone than whatever Script-Doc-Bot-5000 can come up with to optimize ticket sales. hi chris
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Feb 12, 2018 23:20
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21 Muns posted:I think it's pretty depressing that this seems to have taken hold as a majority opinion. Looking back at the series, Columbus's entries are the only two that hold up as good cinema. (Prisoner of Azkaban and Fantastic Beasts come close; Fantastic Beasts 2 probably won't.) Were they slavishly committed to being straight adaptations of the books? Maybe, but by Deathly Hallows 2, the series was definitely slavishly committed to being generic Marvel-y Hollywood Blockbuster Events, which I would call a definite downgrade. Rowling isn't a great writer, far from it, and she's gotten worse over time. But she's good at writing things that are weird and uncanny, and just putting those things onscreen sets a significantly more unique and compelling tone than whatever Script-Doc-Bot-5000 can come up with to optimize ticket sales. This is the most mind-boggling thing I've ever seen, and I've been to R'lyeh.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:46
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I won't deny that the Columbus Harry Potter movies can be entertaining and they do look good, but to suggest they are the only HP movies that holds up as "good cinema" is mind boggling.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:47
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azkaban is the only re-watchable HP movie.
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Feb 12, 2018 23:56
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